Last Hope
by foryourwoodcock
Summary: My back story is just like everyone else's in this messed up world. Death, and a lot of it. I feel sorry for people who believe in God, because to think that someone so close to your heart could do something like this to you, that must be really hard. From OC's POV, starting at the start of season 2. Later Beth/OC.
1. Chapter 1

I opened my eyes as the R.V. came to a shaky stop, sending a jolt through my entire body. Sleeping has proven to be hard ever since this all started. The nightmares aren't like the nightmares I used to have before everything started, they're more vivid and way more terrifying, so I tried to avoid sleep as much as necessary. I lifted my head up to get a better view of my surroundings. Dale was sitting in the driver's seat with a grim look on his face with Glenn next to him. Andrea, Shane and T-Dog were all hovering over, looking out of the window, all mirroring Dale's face. I heard Dale say something to whom I presumed was Daryl because I heard his motorcycle drive away. Then the R.V. started again, so I sat upright to see what was going on, and I saw that we were on a highway that was smothered in cars, as if everyone just got up and left in the middle of a traffic jam.

"Can we get through here?" Glenn asked just as the R.V. made a loud bang and stopped moving. I stood up to join the others after wiping the sleep from my eye, I could barely see out of the window because all of the smoke that was coming out of the front bonnet was caressing the window shield. We heard car doors opening and shutting from behind us, meaning that Rick, Lori, Carol, Sophia and Carl have gotten out of their car. We started filing out of the R.V. one by one. The morning sun practically punched me in the face, mocking my sleepy eyes. Everyone was just standing around, unsure of what to do or think. Daryl turned off his motorcycle and hopped off, crossbow in hand. He stood next to me while everyone was bickering about the fact that we're in the middle of no where with a broken down R.V. Daryl turned around and started searching through the boot of the car that we were standing next to. I joined, thinking of all the things we could possibly find.

People must've noticed what me and Daryl were doing because some of them started murmuring, listing the things we could possibly find in all of these abandoned cars. "Maybe we could find some water" Carol said with her voice full of hope.

"This is a graveyard" Lori said. I turned around and saw her looking at me and Daryl with a disappointed look on her face. I looked around to see everyone else with either the same expression plastered on their face or looking down awkwardly.

"C'mon y'all, just look around and gather what you can. Adam, see if you can find anything useful" Shane told me, putting on his authoritative voice that he always uses to get people to do what he wanted. _Asshole._

Me, Daryl and T-Dog went the furthest, T-Dog was collecting any spare fuel he could find from the abandoned cars while me and Daryl were looking for anything we could find that could be remotely useful. I opened the back seat door of a burgundy Chevrolet Silverado and found a backpack and two suitcases. The backpack had a couple of bottles of water, some chips and mouldy sandwiches which I presumed to be chicken mayo. I shoved the water and chips into my backpack and went onto the first suitcase. It was men's clothing, flannel shirts, plain tees, jeans. I kept a red and black flannel shirt for myself, tying it around my waist and bagged a plain white tee. The other suitcase was a woman's, so I just grabbed the whole thing so the girls could have their pick. I made my way over to the others near the R.V., suitcase in hand. I was just about to give the suitcase to Lori and Carol when Rick came running in a panic, half shouting half whispering for us to get underneath the cars. We all did as we were told, Lori and Carol were under one car, Rick under another, Carl and Sophia were both under separate cars but next to each other. I could hear the moans getting louder, I hugged my hunting rifle to my chest, getting pretty anxious. I shut my eyes closed as hard as I could, I'm not sure how long they were closed for but when I opened them there were rotting feet dragging past me. I could see Sophia panicking underneath her car. _Keep it together, you'll get out okay_ is what I wanted to say to her. I looked at Rick and his eyes were shooting around everywhere, checking on Carl, checking on Sophia, checking on Lori and Carol, then his eyes met mine, you could see the utter panic in them, but all he did was give me a slight nod. I nodded back to make sure he knew I'd be okay. Say what you want about the guy, but cares so fucking much for everyone.

I couldn't stop thinking about how everyone else is. Did Andrea get away? Daryl? Glenn? I fucking hope so. My hands were hurting while I was gripping my rifle and my knuckles were white, but there was no way I was letting go.

After what felt like forever, the herd started to thin out and I let my death grip on my hunting rifle loosen, feeling an instant relief and finally I began to breathe. Sweat was practically pouring down my face when I realized the herd had gone now, but I guessed none of us thought it was safe enough to get out yet, so we just lay there looking at each other.

Then Sophia got out from under the car, but a straggler caught sight of her and chased her back under the car. Rick got out from under his car as fast as he could while the two walkers had chased her from under the other side of the car and into the woods. Rick ran after them as fast as he could while the rest of us got out from under the cars. Carol started screaming and chasing after them, but Lori covered her mouth and stopped her.

"Should we go after them?" I asked, a little out of breath from running after the two.

Glenn and Shane had joined and Shane said "Better wait it out, Rick will take care of her".

So we waited, and when Rick came back with no Sophia, Carol sobbed. I grabbed my hunting rifle, I wanted to go and look for this little girl.

* * *

Rick took Daryl, Shane, Glenn and I to the spot where he left Sophia so he could lead the two walkers off in another direction away from her. "You sure this is the spot?" Daryl asked as he was checking it out. I looked at where he'd left her, she would've been hidden under some tree roots at the side of a creek. It would've been the most awesome place for hide and seek.

"I left her right here, and I drew the walkers off in that direction" he said, pointing towards the other side of the creek. "She was gone by the time I got back".

Daryl found her trail pretty quick, so we went off in that direction. They headed right towards the highway until she suddenly stopped and headed a completely different way.

"She was doin' just fine 'til right here, all she had to do was keep goin'" Daryl said as he inspected her tracks.

"Maybe she saw something that spooked her?" I asked.

"Walker?" Glenn suggested.

"I don't see any other foot prints"

"So we all pressin' on?" Shane asked, looking to Rick.

"You and Glenn go back up to the highway, people are gonna start panicking. Keep everyone calm, and let them know we're on her trail"

"I'll keep 'em busy. C'mon" He signalled for Glenn to follow him back up to the highway.

Daryl, Rick and I carried on following her trail. After 10 minutes, we heard rustling in the bushes and we all dropped to a crouch. Venturing further as quietly as we could, we found a lone walker. I ran around to get in front of it and whistled as loud as I could to get it's attention. It made this weird gargling noise just before Daryl shut it up with an arrow through the back of the head. It dropped to the ground with a large thud and Daryl pulled his arrow back out, blood squirting everywhere in the process. He shouted for Sophia, but there wasn't a response. She must not be close by. Rick got to his knees and started looking at the walker's fingers.

"What're you doin'?" I asked with a frown.

"I'm looking for skin under the fingernails" He said very matter-of-factly. He then proceeded to turn the walker over and check the inside of it's mouth. "It fed recently" he said, as he put his hand in and started pulling something out looking disgusted "there's flesh caught in it's teeth". Pulling it out, Daryl examined it and asked "Yeah, but what kind of flesh?".

"Only one way to know for sure" Rick answered, pulling out his knife from his belt.

"Okay, that's insane. You two do that while I'm over there, y'know, not dissectin' walkers" I said before I made my way away from them. I heard whoever it was dig their knife into the walker's stomach and drag it down and I shut my eyes, trying not to think about how gross this whole situation was.

After a few minutes of squelching noises and searching through guts sounds, they told me they had finished. It was a bloody mess when I made my way back over to them but I was glad I didn't have to see it. I may be a 17 years old, but I couldn't even dissect a frog back in high school.

So Sophia hasn't been found and hasn't been eaten as far as we know. Where the hell is this kid at? We had another little search but had to make our way back to the highway before it got dark.

When we got back, Carol was already waiting for us. She started panicking and crying, seeing that we didn't have Sophia with us. "You didn't find her?" She asked, probably not expecting an answer.

"Her trail went cold, we'll pick it up again at first light" Rick reassured her.

"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own. To spend the night alone in the woods" She was getting really panicky now.

"The darks no good, we'd just be tripping over ourselves" Daryl said as gently as I've ever heard him speak.

She started to get uncontrollably panicky, I decided to step past them and sit on a nearby car to wait for it to end. This day is taking it's toll on me and I've just began to feel it. I needed to be alone.

Carol was blaming Rick for losing Sophia, and when Rick walked past me, I could tell he blamed himself too. This was no one's fault, just the walkers. I decided I wouldn't be sleeping in the R.V. tonight, too crowded. Instead, I found a nearby car that was empty and didn't smell too bad. I got in and used my backpack as a pillow. As I lay there, staring at the dirty fabric on the roof of the car, I couldn't help but think about what Sophia was doing right now and if she was okay. But I couldn't think about that kind of stuff right now, so I rolled over and waited for the nightmares to come and get me.

The next morning, I started to get ready for our hunt. I made sure I was carrying my knives in my belt and strapped my hunting rifle around my back and tied my flannel shirt around my waist. We all went out this time, apart from Dale and T-Dog who stayed with the R.V.

* * *

"So what's your deal, man? What did you do before this shit storm?" I asked Glenn out of curiosity as the fallen leaves crunched under our feet as we walked through the trees.

"I was a pizza delivery guy. It sucked, but, I mean, I sometimes got free pizza" He shrugged.

"Are you serious? That really ain't what I was expectin'" I chuckled.

"Really? What was you expecting?" He asked with half a smile on his face.

I was about to reply when a church bell began chiming in the distance. We all stopped dead in our tracks and looked at each other. Rick pointed in the direction they were coming from and we all darted towards it. Sophia could be calling for help right now.

After a while of running, we got to the treeline of a church.

"That can't be it, got no steeple, no bells" Shane said as he observed the church.

"How many fuckin' churches do you think are out here?" I answered him back, annoyed at how idiotic he could be.

He gave me a stern look as we made our way to the front doors.

Rick and Daryl opened a door each, revealing the insides of the church. 3 walkers. 2 civilians and a bride. Damn, what a shitty wedding day.

"Let's get it over with" I mumbled as I made my way over to the bride. I saw that Daryl and Rick did the same with the other two. I heard swinging of a knife and an arrow reaching it's destination as I dug my knife in the bride's temple, ripping it out with a small struggle. The sound of three bodies hitting the ground echoed throughout the church, all of us stood there watching each other, unsure of what to say. I looked up to see J.C watching us. I'd probably feel like a piece of shit right now if I was religious and believed in the sort of stuff. We all jumped out of our skin when the church bells started ringing again, so we all raced outside to see that they were on a timer, so Glenn quickly shut it off. I saw Carol deflate, she nearly ran back inside, to pray I presume. I decided I didn't want to hear any of that, it would just make me feel worse. So I rest on the steps and wait for everyone to be done with this place. Daryl took as seat next to me after a few minutes, I presumed he felt the same way I do. "You not believe in that stuff?" He asked me.

"What stuff? Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ? Nah, man, the worlds gone too much to shit for any of that stuff to be true"

"I know what you're sayin'" he sighed "Carol still believes, we just gotta act like we do too, I guess. For her" he said as he stared off in the distance.

I nodded. Daryl was right. We needed to do everything we could to make Carol feel somewhat better.

We all gathered outside, trying to figure out what we'd do now.

"Shane and I will be going back out there, we gotta be thorough. Adam, you okay to come with?" Rick asked me.

"Of course, man"

"Okay then, the rest of you follow the creek back, we won't be too long". Rick and Lori agreed that Carl could come with. The kid doesn't know what he's getting himself into, but I guess there's no other way to find out. We made for our separate ways, and we were walking for around 10 minutes when we heard rustling not far away. Rick signaled for us to stop, and we slowly walked until with found the source. A buck was eating some grass not 20 feet away. We all stopped in our tracks, staring in awe. Shane aimed his rifle, but dropped it when he saw Carl making his away towards it. His hand was a few inches away from this innocent creature when a loud bang rang through the air and both the buck and Carl dropped to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, guys. Thank you so much for reading this, this is the first fanfic I've uploaded and the first piece of writing of mine that I've let anyone read, so thank you. This chapter is pretty long and it was a little emotionally exhausting to write, but it all leads to great things. Enjoy!**

I decided to go ahead of the guys, being the fastest one. I could hear Rick not too far behind me breathing hard with silent sobs, Carl's limp body dangling in his arms. Shane was way back shouting for the guy that shot Carl to run faster.

"How far?!" Rick shouted at the guy. Rick's face was scary as hell and I was glad I was on his side.

"Half a mile that way, talk to Hershel. He can help your boy" the big guy replied between pants.

Shane and the big guy were falling even further behind, but Rick was able to keep up with me, leaving about 20 feet between us. The farm came into sight, the house was pretty big with white paneling around it. I ran as fast as I could when I saw a girl with short brown hair who shouted for her dad when she caught sight of us. A old man came out who I guessed was Hershel, along with two other women and a blonde girl.

I had to slow down, but Rick was still right behind me. We wasn't far from the porch when the old man shouted to us "Was he bit?"

"Shot" Rick shouted back with terror dripping out of his voice.

"By your man" I said. I didn't care if these were good people, or the guy that shot Carl, but he wasn't careful, and now look what's happened.

"Otis?" the older woman asked.

"He said I should find Hershel. Is that you? Please help me." Rick said, the panic was taking over him. "Help me"

"Inside" Hershel said, signaling for us all to go in.

Hershel began giving out orders to his people, medical supplies, sheets. I had a hard time following his words, I was too concentrated on this little boy's blood on my hands.

"Pillow case" Hershel commanded Rick.

Rick's eyes were glazing over, he was just looking at Carl, not hearing or seeing anything else. "Is he alive?"

"Pillow case, quick!"

I grabbed a pillow and ripped the pillow case off as fast as I could and folded it like he told me to. "Put pressure on the wound" I did as I was told, but Rick took over.

"I got a heartbeat" Hershel said, Rick's relief was visible. "It's faint."

"I got it, step back" The older blonde woman said to Rick, and he moved back as she took over.

"Your name?" Hershel demanded.

"...Rick..it's Rick"

"Rick, we're gonna do everything we can, okay? You gotta give us some room. You too, son."

Rick looked like a walker himself at this point, eyes glazed over, covered in blood, walking as slow as he could out of the room. I followed him, keeping my hand on his shoulder just incase he ended up fainting. We could hear Shane and Otis making their way to the house, Shane still screaming at him. Rick made his way outside, but I couldn't bare to look at Otis. He could be the nicest guy in the world, but I just couldn't do it.

I was in the hallway, and I leaned against the wall and just slid down, hitting the floor harder than I expected to. I put my head in my hands, wishing I believed in God so I could pray to somebody for this to be over. I heard a door open a few feet away from me, from the room Carl was in, but I didn't bother lifting my head. I felt heavy, like my body was pressed hard against the floor and would never move again. Maybe I'd become a statue, for tourists to look upon. Maybe they'd feel sorry for me because they don't feel the way I looked. I heard footsteps slowly coming towards me, they sounded careful and cautious as if I was fragile and would break upon hearing them. I guessed I had to at least try and take my head out of my hands. When my head was half way up, I got a glance at my hands. They were covered in blood, meaning my face was now covered in blood. Carl's blood. Oh god. I must've looked a mess to these people in their pretty dresses and white shirts.

I lifted my head up and my eyes found the small blonde girl with a hand towel in her hands. She was pretty, way too pretty for a world this fucked up. "I thought you might wanna clean yourself up" she said in the sweetest voice.

I looked down at the hand towel, not able to hold her gaze. "That bad?"

She laughed the smallest bit and handed me the hand towel. "The bathroom is upstairs on the right." she said, giving me one last smile before disappearing behind a door.

Climbing the stairs was more of a chore than I expected, my stone legs dragging themselves. I found the bathroom pretty easily, closing the door behind me. The man in the mirror directly in front of me scared me. His hair was a mess, sticking out all over the place. Blood covered my face, and my plain white tee was drenched with a mixture of blood and sweat and smelled so bad I just had to take it off. My stomach had only a little blood on it, the sweat shining on my forthcoming abs. I wet the hand towel under the faucet and started dabbing my face. I ended up putting my whole head under the water so I could get all of the dirt out of my hair as well. I washed the blood off my stomach and arms and scrubbed until my skin turned pink. I used the bar of soap that was on the side of the sink. I don't have many chances to smell nice to I might as well take it when I can. I really looked in the mirror this time, and the intensity in my green-grey eyes scared me. I looked like a man who was going through a mid-life crisis even though I was only 17. My hair looked better, cleaner. I ran my fingers through it and it flopped to the side. I looked a lot better than I had 10 minutes ago.

Luckily, I still had my plaid shirt around my waist and it wasn't too dirty, so I put it on, doing the top button up. It may be the end of the world, but I still want to look smart. I also rolled the sleeves up to my elbows, didn't want to have a heat stroke.

I made my way downstairs, each step creaking in pain. Rick wasn't outside, so I entered the door that the blonde girl went through and found Rick and Shane with Hershel's people gathered around Carl.

"...It did not go clean through, it broke into pieces. I'm countin' six" Hershel finished off.

Rick's face was the same as when I left him. "Lori doesn't know" he said to me when I walked in. I walked past the small blonde girl and Otis to get to Rick. "My wife doesn't know" he started sobbing, and me and Shane were trying to calm him down.

* * *

Rick, Shane and I were sitting in the living room when the short brown haired girl came in asking for Rick. We all shot up and darted for the bedroom Carl was in. "He needs blood"

"You" Hershel looked at me "hold him down"

I walked over to Carl who was sobbing out for his dad. I held him down by his chest and arms as hard as I could without hurting him. Hershel was using some type of pliers to pull out the pieces of bullet stuck inside. Carl started screaming out in pain and it was so hard to bear, I wanted to walk out right then.

"Stop, you're killing him!" Rick shouted at Hershel, the older woman with blonde hair held him back.

"Rick, do you want him to live?" Hershel half shouted back at him.

I closed my eyes as hard as I could, trying to hold this screaming boy down. "He needs blood!" the girl repeated.

"Do it, god damn it!" I shouted through clenched teeth, my eyes still closed.

All of a sudden, there was no resistance. I finally opened up my eyes and Carl's body was pale and limp again. I put my hand on his head and said "Hey" so quietly I wasn't even sure if I actually said it.

I looked at Rick, and then Hershel and then Rick again. "He just passed out" Hershel said, steadying mine and Rick's nerves. The older woman was getting Rick ready for a blood transfusion.

Hershel pulled something out of Carl's side and said "One down", putting it in a bowl "five to go"

I ended up on the porch, away from the others. Was it bad that I was sick of trying to console Rick when I couldn't even console myself? Don't get me wrong, I knew Carl was going to make it, but the path to get there was a lot to take in and I just needed to collect myself. I was sitting on a step with my head rested on the banister when I heard the front door open and close. I looked to my right and the small blonde girl sat next to me on the same step.

"Hey" she said, giving me a slight smile.

"Hey" I replied, automatically smiling back at her.

"I don't think I caught your name"

"It's Adam. What's yours?"

"Beth. Beth Greene" Her voice really was the sweetest I'd ever heard.

"Nice name" I said with a smile playing on my lips.

She smiled shyly and looked away. "So who is that boy to you?" she said, looking at me again with a different look in her eyes.

"Carl?" I frowned and looked at my hands "Just a kid, a friend"

"He'll get through it ya'know. Daddy'll save him"

"Yeah, he's a tough kid. He'll pull through"

Everyone came out then, Shane and Otis were walking towards the blue truck parked a few feet away. "What's going on?" I asked Rick.

He explained about Hershel needing a respirator and some other supplies that could be at the nearest high school, so Shane and Otis have volunteered to go. "I'll go, too" I said when he was finished.

"No, I want you here just in case Hershel needs an extra hand" he replied. I wouldn't use the word relieved, but I'd rather not go anywhere with a stranger and Shane anyway.

As they drove away, I sat back on the porch. I wanted to go out and look for Sophia, but I should probably wait for the others to get here so we'd cover more ground. I felt weak, but I didn't know in which way. Was I tired, or had it just been one of the longest days of my life? It feels like I've been awake for weeks.

I must've fell asleep with my head rested against the banister because when I opened my eyes, Lori and Maggie were bounding towards the house on a horse. Hershel and Rick were already on the porch a few feet away from me and Rick started walking towards them when they were close enough. Lori got off the horse as soon as she could and started sobbing when she saw the blood on Rick's clothes. She looked like she was about to drop, but Rick grabbed her, and the embrace was almost painful to watch. She grabbed Rick back, and they nearly ran inside the house together. I got up and stood next to Hershel realizing they're going to need to be alone.

"I don't know if we can thank you enough for what you've done for us" I said, squinting in the sun.

"Sharing my hospitality and doing all I can is the least I can do, your people seem to need all the help you can get" He said, locking his eyes on mine.

"You can say that again. We're just lucky you were here. If you ever need help with anything around the farm or anything, I'm your guy" I said, smiling politely. He smiled back and nodded, then made his way inside.

* * *

It must've been about 9pm, we were all in Carl's room not doing anything other than watch him grasp onto the little life that he has. We didn't talk or look at each other, we just sat and watched him. He was doing something miraculous, something I or even Rick couldn't do. As much as I loved sitting here, possibly seeing the last of Carl's life, I couldn't keep my eyes open. We've all had such a long day, Rick should be in bed too, after two transfusions he wasn't looking all that great. He was pale, his eyes bagging and he couldn't stand up for more than a minute. My eyelids had finally reunited like old friends when I heard a quiet "hey" from a familiar voice. My eyes protested when I forced them open enough to see Glenn and T-Dog standing in the doorway on my right. T-Dog looked just like Rick did, I could see that his arm was bandaged and bloody. Glenn's face was full of remorse, not taking his eyes off Carl. It must be a lot to take in when you haven't dealt with it all day.

"Hey" Rick replied, barely looking at him.

"We're here, okay?" I've never seen Glenn this awkward, that's saying something.

"Thank you" Lori replied this time.

"Whatever you need" T-Dog said.

This conversation was painful to listen to, if my body hadn't already melded with the chair I'm sitting in, I would've ran out by now. But they both slowly walked out of the room, probably overwhelmed by the sudden change of mood between our group.

Hershel started talking but I couldn't make out the words he was saying. All I could hear was a screech so loud that I couldn't hear anything else. It was paralyzing my whole body, I couldn't move. I looked around me, I was in the middle of a street that I didn't recognize, it was dark. There were no walkers, but she was right there in front of me. Her blue eyes were burning holes into mine, and there was blood. So much blood. I had to go to her, I had to stop the pain that was clouding her eyes. But the screech wouldn't let me. I was screaming at myself, I was screaming at her, I was screaming at the screech, I was screaming at Hershel. My whole body was drenched, I suspected it started raining while I was out but I was still in Carl's room. I looked at my hands, and I was happy to find that I wasn't paralyzed anymore and that the screech had gone. I looked up at Hershel who was hunched over me with his hand on my shoulder.

"Night terrors are something you will never get used to" he said as he removed his hand from my shoulder and made his way over to Carl's bedside.

"Night terrors are something people like me have to get used to"

"Are they frequent?" he asked has he put on his stethoscope to listen to Carl's heart.

"If you call every time I'm lucky enough to sleep, then yeah" I felt a little annoyed, not with Hershel, but with that screech that left ringing in my ears.

"It sounds to me that whatever you went through before you got here has brought on your insomnia, and whatever you regret has brought on your night terrors. They have pills for what you're going through, you just have to know where to look" he said as he looked at me sympathetically.

I didn't have time to dwell on what he just said before Carl started coughing, they were the weakest little coughs I'd ever heard, but he was conscious. Rick and Lori must've been right outside of the door because they jumped straight in the room and next to Carl's side. The panic in Carl's eyes made me panic, his whole body was rigid and he was crazily looking around the whole room. "Where are we?" he asked as his eyes moved back and forth from his parent's faces.

"That's Hershel" Rick looked at Hershel with a smile on his face "we're in his house. You had an accident, alright?" the tone in his voice could make anyone calm.

"It hurts. A lot" Carl said as he looked down at his body.

Rick started crying, Lori just said "Oh baby, I know"

"You should've seen it, the deer" Carl said as he smiled up at his mother "It was so pretty, mom. So close" I've never seen a boy who was in so much pain look so excited. "I've never been-" he cut off all of a sudden, and his eyes went empty, seeing nothing, rolling to the back of his head.

"Carl?"

"What's happening?"

Carl's body started spasming, and Rick and Lori went into panic mode. I didn't really hear anything after I heard Hershel use the word 'seizure'.

Hershel let it pass, and after a short time, the spasms stopped. My face was wet, and I wasn't sure if it was tears or sweat.

"His brain isn't getting enough blood" Hershel told Rick and Lori as they sat down next to Carl, looking at Hershel hopefully "His pressure is bottoming and he needs another transfusion".

"Okay, I'm ready"

"If I take any more out of you, your body could shut down and you could go into a coma"

"You're wastin' time" Rick replied with a clenched jaw.

Hershel was getting Rick ready for another transfusion, and I decided to leave the room. I closed the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen where Patricia and Maggie were treating T-Dog's arm while Glenn stood in the doorway.

"Hey man" Glenn said as he clasped his hand on my back "you okay? You don't look too good"

"Just one hell of a day"

"You can say that again" T-Dog replied between grunts of pain.

Glenn left the room and I heard the front door shut behind him. Maggie followed him since he seemed upset. I sat down next to Patricia and decided to help out, see if she can teach me anything. First aid is very important in the new world we live in after all.

I was watching Patricia bandaging T-Dog when I heard a car pull up out front. I got up from my chair and ran through the front door to Shane and the truck outside. Everyone else followed me, and Shane had a bunch of equipment hanging from his back. I took some from him as he asked about Carl and we all made our way to him. The faster we get this surgery done, the more of a chance he gets. I didn't realize the guy who shot Carl was missing until Hershel asked Shane where he was. I looked back and saw Shane shake his head no. We all stood there for about 5 seconds looking at each other. We quickly snapped out of it and went to Carl. I put all the equipment I had down on the table and Hershel quickly got to work. I left the room, I felt like I was just in the way. I saw Beth in the living room crying into her boyfriend's chest. I lingered in the doorway awkwardly as I said "I'm sorry about Otis"

Beth lifted her head and looked at me for a few seconds before giving me a broken smile. "Thanks"

I kind of bowed my head and left the room. I had no where to go, no one to sit with to wait this mess out. So I did what I did when I first came here. I slid down the wall in the hallway, and put my head in my hands. After a while, Hershel and the others were making their way outside, so I followed them hoping to hear some news on Carl. When we got outside, Rick, Lori and Shane all got up from sitting and waited for him to speak. "He seems to have stabilized" the relieved gasps were a welcomed sound. It's nice to see people smiling. Rick pulled Hershel into a hug, not knowing how to express his feelings.

"I don't have words" Lori said between happy sobs.

"I don't either. How do I tell Patricia about Otis?"

"You go to Carl, I'll go with Hershel" Rick said to Lori.

Everyone went inside, and I followed. Me, Glenn, Maggie, T-Dog, Jimmy and Beth went into the living room. I sat in an arm chair, further from the others and just listened. I could hear people happily chatting. I could hear Beth whispering in Jimmy's ear. I could hear Lori talking to an unconscious Carl in the next room. I could heard Patricia sobbing in the kitchen. I could hear it all as everything went black and the screeching came back.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is a bit of a filler, I'm already working on the next chapter though. Let me know what you guys think though so far, please.**

* * *

The day was gloomy, the clouds in the sky were threatening to drown us and the mist in the distance was ready to blind us. The day ahead was even gloomier. Hershel's people were having a funeral for Otis and we're all invited. I got woken up by Maggie pretty early this morning because they needed help moving rocks for Otis's grave. I was happy to help, even though what he did nearly killed Carl, he died trying to redeem himself. In my books, he already did.

Maggie, Glenn, Shane, Jimmy, Beth and I were putting the rocks we found in a wheelbarrow for later. Even though it looked like a horrible day, it was still hot. Jimmy let me borrow one of his plain white t-shirts. It was nice of him, but it was pretty tight on me. Hershel gave Shane some of Otis's clothes as well. He also shaved his head the previous night so he looks crazier than usual.

Beth and her boyfriend, Jimmy were laughing together at something I missed, and I was surprised by how happy they were together. I didn't think relationships would function in a world like this, but they have proven me wrong. I hope he keeps her happy and safe, because a girl like Beth is the kind of girl you don't want to stop smiling.

The sound of a motorcycle pulled me out of my thoughts and when I looked up, I saw the R.V, one of our cars and Daryl on his motorcycle. I couldn't help but smile, I felt like I hadn't seen these guys in years. We all started walking towards the porch, knowing we'll all meet up there.

"How is he?" Dale asked as soon as everyone was facing each other.

"He'll pull through" Lori replied with a smile on her face "thanks to Hershel and his people" she looked behind her to the farm owners.

"And Shane. We would've lost Carl if it weren't for him" Rick admitted.

Shane looked up from the ground with a look on his face that I couldn't make out.

Dale hugged Rick and Carol hugged Lori, so I think everyone felt the need to comfort each other. I wrapped my arms around Andrea and slightly squeezed, knowing she needed it a little more than the others. I grabbed Carol when Lori was finished with her and hugged her as hard as I could without hurting her. She did the same with me, giving me a smile when we were finished. The whole time, Daryl was stood next to his motorcycle watching everybody, so I thought I'd try my luck. "Don't even think about it" he said when he saw me walking towards him.

I chuckled and said "Oh c'mon man, just tell me you love me"

He laughed with me and he patted my back "Glad you're alive, kid". That was the most affectionate Daryl could probably get.

It was time for Otis's funeral, and I helped building the rocks onto each other for his grave. Everyone started to gather around when we were nearly finished. When there were only a few rocks left, we all stood around and let Beth carefully place one on top. As she was walking back to Jimmy, our eyes met and I gave her a supportive smile.

Hershel started on his speech and I bowed my head in silence with my hands behind my back. I looked at Shane and he looked like he was in some sort of trance. Hershel called his name and he snapped out of it, looking worried. He asked him to speak, but Shane just said "I'm not good at it".

"You were that last one with him" Patricia said with tears streaming down her face "share his final moments"

Shane looked terrified being put on the spot, be he did as he was asked. "We were about done. Almost out of ammo. We were down to pistols by then. I was limping, it was bad, ankle all swollen up. 'We've got to save the boy'. See, that's what he said. He gave me his back pack, he shoved me ahead. 'Run' he said. 'I'll take the rear, I'll cover you' he said. And when I looked back..." he was looking at Patricia who was in the middle of a sob, but was engrossed in his story. He made his way to put the last rock on top of the pile "If not for Otis, I'd have never made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his". Patricia nodded in agreement and went back to her sobbing. We were all a bit dumbfounded at what we just heard. Rick and the others were the first to file out, so I followed. I looked at Beth one last time to see that her and Maggie were both comforting Patricia and I smiled to myself.

* * *

"How long has this girl been lost?" Hershel asked in his usual, monotone voice. Andrea, Shane, Daryl, Hershel, Rick and I were gathered around one of our trucks.

"This'll be day 3" Rick answered.

Maggie came over with a map, unraveling it on the bonnet of the truck. "County survey map. Shows terrain and elevations" She announced.

We all took a look and Rick said "This is perfect, we can finally get this whole thing organised. We'll grid the whole area, start searchin' in teams". I think we were all excited to go back out there, especially Rick, Shane and I.

"Not you, not today. You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out" Hershel told Rick, then he looked at Shane "And your ankle, push it now, you'll be laid up a month, no good to anybody" He was right, of course.

"Looks like it's just us. We should head back to the creek, work our way back from there" I said to Daryl.

He nodded in agreement. It felt good making plans with Daryl again.

"I can still be useful" Shane demanded "I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back"

"Alright, tomorrow then" Rick commanded, looking deflated. "We'll start doin' this right"

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives, they need the gun training we've been promising them" Shane expressed.

"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property" Hershel interjected. "We've made it so far without turning this into an armed camp"

"All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here-" Shane started to argue.

"We're guests here. This is your property and we will respect that" He said, looking at Shane when he said the last part. He then took his gun out of his holster and put it on the car bonnet. Shane did the same, looking like a child who had his candy taken from him.

"First things first: set camp, find Sophia" Rick carried on.

"I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody's got to. What happens if we find her and she's bit? I think we should all be clear on how we handle that" Shane grunted, still pissed because of the gun thing.

"Oh, you just hate to ask, don't you? Why can't you think about anything apart from everybody dyin'?" I exclaimed.

"How about you respect your fuckin' elders? We gotta be responsible for shit like this" He retaliated.

"We have to do what has to be done" Rick said a little too loudly.

"What? You can't do that" I protested.

"This is why we don't allow kids to do the hard work" Shane shot a dirty look my way.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie asked.

"The truth" Andrea answered.

I could see Hershel shaking his head, looking at Rick in the corner of my eye. "I'll gather and secure all the weapons. Make sure no one's carrying 'till we're at a practice range off site. I do request one rifleman on lookout" Shane was enjoying this power the motherfucker. "Dale's got experience"

Rick was looking at Hershel, who looked like he wouldn't give in. "Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun" He convinced.

Hershel just slowly nodded his head. "Thank you" Rick half yelled at him.

I took my hunting rifle off of my back and threw it at Shane, who caught it and smirked.

I spotted Dale and T-Dog working at the well so I decided to make my way over. T-Dog was pumping it while Dale was checking the thing out. "You're gonna have to get in line" T-Dog said when I was close enough.

"It better be some good fuckin' water"

T-Dog was about to drink some out of the ladle when Dale came over and knocked it out of his hands. "I wouldn't drink that if I were you"

I took a look inside and of course, there was a floater inside. It was a blue-yellow colour, scratching at the walls of the well in hopes to get me. It's eyes were swollen so much that it wasn't able to see, and the rest of its body was just as bloated. It kind of just looks like a big sumo-wrestling baby. I kept that to myself because people thought I was too immature as it is.

T-Dog went and got Shane, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea and Lori while me and Dale stayed to keep an eye on the floater. We all crowded around the well to take a look inside. I had already taken the wood off so we could properly see. The floater was getting more and more agitated at the sight of so much food out of its reach. "Looks like we got us a swimmer" Dale said, inspecting it with a flash light.

"I came across one like that in a lake once, it did more floating than swimming" I observed.

"How long do you think it's been down there?" Glenn asked.

"Long enough to grow gills. We can't leave it in there, God knows what it's doing to the water" Andrea replied.

"We got to get it out, easy. Put a bullet in its head" Shane spoke.

"Is that your answer to everything? Bullets and killing?" I asked Shane, irritated. "Spilling its brains out will contaminate the water if it already isn't contaminated. How about you think before you shoot?"

"You're right" it sounded like it was painful for Shane to agree with me "can't risk it"

"So it has to come out alive?" T-Dog asked.

"So to speak" Shane butted in.

"How do we do that?" Glenn asked, looking to everyone for ideas.

We found pretty thick rope to tie a piece of ham onto and Dale and Shane lowered it down close to the floater. It didn't even look at it. "He's not goin' for it" Dale said.

"Cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it" T-Dog commented.

"We need live bait" Andrea announced.

Everyone already started looking at Glenn, who was looking terrified. "I'll do it. Glenn ain't gotta have all the shitty jobs" The relief on Glenn's face made this worth it.

Shane was tying the rope around me to act as a harness so he can pull me up. "I'm not sure if I trust you enough for this" I said to him, already panicking.

"That ain't something you say to the person whose gonna be carrying your weight" He chuckled. "We're gonna get you out of there in one piece, bud"

"Make sure it's not a half dead, bitten piece" I said as I put the other rope that I'll use to wrap around the floater around my arm.

Shane and the others wrapped the rope around a pole not too far away so it would be easier for them to carry me. "Nice and slow, please"

"You people are crazy" Maggie said.

"You wanna get it out of your well or not?"

"Give us an eye there, Maggie" Dale said. Maggie stopped right in front of me, ready to be everyone's eyes. We made eye contact and she gave me the best smile she could probably muster. I sighed, and lowered myself into the well.

Letting go of the pole at the top was the hardest part. Now I wasn't in control of my body and how fast it would go, a psychopath was. I held onto the rope above my head as hard as I could, I knew I'd come out here with either bite marks or rope burns. I looked down and the floater must've know I was coming towards it, it was waiting.

"Doin' okay?" Maggie asked.

"I've never felt so alive" I said sarcastically.

I was about half way down, so I took the rope from around my arm to get ready to catch the floater. "Little lower" Maggie called out to the others above me. "Little more"

I was right above the floater now and it was reaching out to me. I heard a loud thud above ground and suddenly I was practically cooked and salted for this thing's meal. I shouted out in surprise and panic. "Get me the fuck outta here! What the fuck, oh my god"

My feet were reacting before the rest of my body, kicking over and over at the floater right below me. I could hear shouts and struggles above me. "Oh my god, no. Get me out!" I called out again.

I kept kicking and kicking until I couldn't reach it, and I realised I was slowly being pulled up. I was still shouting for them to pull me up even though I knew they already were. I was holding onto the rope as hard as I could, feeling the burns already forming over my body.

When I was close enough, I grabbed onto the bar at the top of the well and pulled myself out as fast as I could. Shane pulled me the rest of the way and practically threw me on the ground. I just lay there, wanting to kiss the solidness of it. Everyone was breathing hard, especially me.

"Back to the drawing board" Dale said, disappointed.

I got up from the ground and looked at Dale and started laughing. "Says you". I passed him the rope that I managed somehow to get around the thing I was nearly a meal for. Everyone looked just as dumbfounded as I felt. "Don't ask me how I did it, because I have no idea"

We were all pulling as hard as we could to get the floater to the surface. It sounded like it was screaming in protest, flailing its arms about wildly. It's head emerged, exiting the well, but it's waist got stuck on the rim. "Almost there, you gotta pull it y'all!" T-Dog encouraged.

"It's stuck" I yelled in exhaustion.

"C'mon!"

We were all gasping, pulling as hard as we could when it got easier to pull all of a sudden, and we all fell backwards. The floater's upper body became disconnected from its lower body, the string of its guts ripping away from each other. It's lower body fell back into the well with its guts spewing in it. It's upper half was still reaching out for us, still hoping to eat.

"Nearly getting eaten in the bottom of a well for nothin'" I said with a frown on my face, still on the floor with my arms resting on my knees.

"We could seal off this well" Dale suggested.

"Might be a good idea" Shane said, mirroring my expression.

"So what do we do about-" Andrea was cut off by T-Dog, who was beating the shit out of the floater's head with a pipe.

I think Maggie started crying, because she walked away covering her face.

"Good thing we didn't do anything stupid, like shoot it" T-Dog said, out of breath from the sudden outburst.

* * *

I made my way towards where we had made camp near some of the trees to the right of the Greene house. Carol was cooking some canned beans over a camp fire when I sat next to her. She looked at me and smiled, but didn't say anything. We just sat there, watching the beans cook inside the pot. I could tell she wasn't in the slightest okay, I just wanted to heal her hurt and make it all better. I put my arm around her, realising there isn't much else I can do. I practically felt her snap next to me, she started sobbing into my shoulder and I put both arms around her. Right then, it felt like we were holding onto each other for dear life, never wanting to part. "I can't reassure you, I don't know if anything will ever be okay again, but I'm going to do my damn best to make sure you have a shot of happiness, Carol" I whispered into her ear. I wasn't sure if she heard me, she didn't respond for a while.

She pulled out off the hug and looked me in the eyes, touching my face. "Thank you, Adam"

I kissed her forehead and made us both a serving of beans. We sat there in silence while we ate, enjoying filling our stomachs. Daryl, Glenn, Dale, Andrea, T-Dog and Shane joined us. The camp got a lot louder then. It was like when you go camping with family, and everyone's getting drunk on the overwhelming feeling of home. Home wasn't a house full of possessions, it was wherever you and your family were. I'm home.


	4. Chapter 4

_"What's the worst that could happen?" Travis asked me, trying to convince me to skip class._

_"We could get into trouble, man. I just want to survive high school" I replied._

_"Whatever, you work too hard sometimes, Adam. You gotta chill"_

_"You won't be saying that in 5 years when I'm your boss" I smirked at him._

_"You're an asshole" He grunted back._

_We started walking to our English class, my favourite class with my favourite teacher. As we were about to enter, blood curdling screams started to echo through the empty hallways. Me and Travis stopped in our tracks, looking up and down the hallways for the source of the sound._

_"Just sit down, it was probably some first year" Mr. Figgs told us._

_Something didn't feel right, but we did as we were told anyway. I sat in my usual seat, behind some brainless jock called Brian._

_Mr. Figgs went on about Great Gatsby, but I was just staring out of the window. Another scream echoed then, followed by a lot more. Mr. Figgs went to the doorway to see what was going on when a jock came out of no where and jumped on Mr. Figgs, sending him flying to the ground. Mr. Figgs tried to fight him off of him, but it was no use. The jock dived for his neck and ripped it open with his teeth, sending blood squirting all over the place. The whole class went in uproar as Mr. Figg's body went limp and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as the jock carried on chewing at his neck. What the fuck was happening?_

_Someone else came in then, but their eyes were unseeing and they were dragging their legs. It's face looked as if it had been decaying and blood dripped from it's mouth. It went after Brian, who was trying to get out of the door. It got him pinned up against the wall and his screams were deafening as it gnawed on his chest._

_Travis managed to get a window open wide enough for us to get out of, luckily we were on ground floor. Travis went first, with me on his heels. Everyone else followed single file, but the last few didn't make it. More of those lifeless things pinned them up against the windows and blood covered the place. We left them and their screams behind._

_I looked all around me, and everything seemed to go in slow motion. The girl who played the cello in band was eating the kid that carried his mac around with him. There was a lot of students flooding out of the entrance, I knew a lot of the faces of both alive and what looked to be dead._

_Logan._

_"I need to find Logan. Shit. I need to go home" I started panicking, hoping he was okay and this wasn't happening everywhere._

_"I need to go and find my mom..." Travis said, looking in the distance probably thinking the same as I was._

_"We should split up, you wanna meet by the church once we find our families?" I asked him._

_"Yeah...Yeah, lets meet at..." he looked at his watch "5, that gives us 3 hours"_

_"Be safe, and be careful. Don't let whatever these things are get you, okay?"_

_"Yeah, you too. See ya" he jogged off into the opposite direction that I did._

_As I was running home, these things were everywhere and I started panicking even more. What if they already got him? What if he was one of them? I slowed down the a power walk, getting out of breath when I felt a weight drop me to the floor. One of those things were on top of me. I was pushing my arm against its neck so it's never-resting teeth wouldn't make contact with my face. This thing looked angry for my blood, and was stronger than you can imagine. I was just about to let go, not being able to hold on anymore when a loud bang released blood all over my face, and when I opened my eyes, my face was dry and my tent was at boiling temperature._

Fuck. I hate those dreams. I sat up and rubbed my face, I would give anything for a shower right now. I exited my tent and joined Glenn and T-Dog near their tents.

"You okay, man?" Glenn asked when he saw my face.

"Just need a shower" I didn't exactly lie.

"I smell like how that floater looked yesterday" T-Dog said with a blank expression.

I laughed properly for the first time in days.

"So what's going on with you and Maggie?" I asked Glenn with a mischievous smile.

His face flushed red and all he could spit out was "Nothing"

"Don't bullshit, I saw your face when you two got back from your run"

"You couldn't make it more obvious if you tried, man" T-Dog and I chuckled.

Glenn started laughing with us after a while, his face crimson the whole time.

"Mornin' guys, let's get goin'. We've got a lot of ground to cover" Rick said as he walked past the three of us.

"Yes, sir" I said sarcastically as we all got up to follow him.

"Alright, everybody's gettin' new search grids today" he told us once we were all around the same car bonnet as yesterday. "If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far"

"I'd like to help" Jimmy interrupted. I almost didn't notice him without his cowboy hat on. "I know the area pretty well, and stuff"

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick asked.

"Yeah...Yeah. He said I should ask you" He replied a little too quickly.

"Alright then, thanks" Jimmy looked at me and I gave him a slight nod.

"Nothin' about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me, anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse" Shane said, pessimistic as usual.

"Anybody includes her, right?" Andrea commented.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high" Daryl argued.

"It's a good lead"

"Maybe we'll pick up her trail again"

"No maybe about it, I'm gonna borrow a horse" I laughed "head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's-eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there, I'll spot her" Daryl finished, pointing at the map.

"Make sure you keep your eye of for your chupacabra as well" I suggested with a smirk on my face.

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You never heard this?" Dale asked. "Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra"

Jimmy laughed then, making Daryl get defensive. "What are you brayin' at, jackass?"

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?" Jimmy judged.

"You belive in dead people walkin' around?"

Jimmy looked around and saw the rest of us packing our weapons for the search and was quick to grab my hunting rifle that I left on the bonnet. My hand reacted before my brain did, slamming it back down with a loud bang, startling Jimmy.

Rick put his hand on Jimmy's chest, making him take a step back. "Hey, hey. You ever fire one before?"

"Well, if I'm going out I want one" He seemed okay, but he was immature and suicidal. I don't care that we're the same age, I was a lot more mature than him.

"I really want a pizza, but it ain't happenin'" I grunted as I grabbed my hunting rifle and walked away.

* * *

"You okay, man?" T-Dog asked me as I pinned a blue piece of cloth to a tree to show our searched area.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just made myself feel sad by thinking about pizza" I replied.

"What do you guys think of Hershel's family?" T-Dog asked me and Andrea.

"They're stupid, they don't know what's going on outside of their picket fence and won't survive unless we're around" Andrea spat.

"Maybe, but they're pretty cool for helping us. Plus, Hershel made some hot daughters" I joked.

"Maggie and Glenn are acting like teenagers" T-Dog laughed. "You thinking about going for the other one?"

"Beth? Nah, she's got a boyfriend" I said with a frown.

"Not for long if that boy carries on, he has no common sense" Andrea didn't seem in the best mood right now.

"He's stupid, but harmless. I can't believe we're the same age"

"We better get back" Andrea said when she finished nailing the last piece of blue cloth to the tree.

When we got back, Andrea sat herself up on top of the R.V. and I noticed Lori and Carol weren't around, they must have already started dinner so I made my way towards the house. Once inside, the mouth-watering smell dragged me towards the kitchen where I found Lori, Carol, Patricia and Beth preparing dinner.

"Get out" Carol said once she caught sight of me. Lori, Patricia and Beth were laughing.

"Do I have to beg for a taster?" I pleaded, giving her my best sad eyes.

"One piece of chicken, then you get the hell out of here" Carol compromised.

"I love you" I said as I kissed her cheek and grabbed two pieces of chicken and darted out of there.

Once back at the R.V., Andrea shouted "Walker!" and I quickly checked that my knife was still in its holster, and ran in the direction she was looking. Glenn, Rick, Shane and T-Dog were on my heels. We were all breathing hard once we were a few feet from the walker and Rick pulled his gun out and aimed it at it.

I was speechless for a couple of seconds, but I quickly said "Put your god damn gun down, it's Daryl" and started laughing a little.

"That's the third time you've pointed that thing at my head. You gonna pull the trigger or what?" Daryl grunted.

Rick put his gun down, but a bullet still hit Daryl and sent him flying backwards. I ran for him, followed by Rick. Rick started screaming 'no' and who I presume was Andrea, who was probably holding her sniper on top of the R.V.

When I looked, the bullet grazed the side of his head but still left a pretty good gash. We tried to drag him up, but it was blatant that he was feeling weak. "I was kidding" Daryl said in an annoyed voice. He had one arm around Rick and the other around me.

We started walking back with Daryl hanging off us when Dale and Andrea were running up to us. "Oh my god, is he dead?" Andrea asked hysterically.

"Unconscious, you just grazed him" Rick replied calmly.

"But look at him" Glenn said as he pointed at Daryl chest "What the hell happened? He's wearing ears"

Rick ripped the weird ear necklace from around Daryl's neck and pocketed it "Let's keep that to ourselves"

"Guys" T-Dog called out, making us all turn to face him "isn't this Sophia's?" He held up a dirty looking doll, but it was defiantly familiar.

* * *

"I found it washed up on the creek bed right there" Daryl said pointing to the map we put next to him on his sick-bed. He woke up not long after we put him on the bed, he's a tough son of a bitch. Hershel went to tending him right away. "She must have dropped it crossin' there somewhere"

"Cuts the grid almost in half" Rick estimated.

"Yeah, you're welcome" Daryl replied sarcastically.

"How's he lookin'?" Rick asked with a concerned look on his face.

"I had no idea we'd be going through the antibiotics so quickly" Hershel said, obviously annoyed. "Any idea what happened to my horse?" He looked at Daryl with a frustrated look on his face.

"Yeah, the one that almost killed me? If it's smart, it left the country"

"We call that one Nelly, as in 'Nervous Nelly'. I could have told you she'd throw you if you'd bothered to ask" Hershel scolded. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long" He told Rick.

When dinner was ready, I placed myself between Glenn and Beth with Jimmy and Maggie on the other sides of them. We were put on the 'kids' table, which I wasn't too happy about. But I didn't say anything, because Glenn was in his early twenties so he must be as pissed as I was. The food was really good, but anything edible is really good when you've been hungry every day for months. I tried to keep my eating at a pace since I was sitting next to Beth, I wasn't trying to impress her but I wanted her to know what I wasn't a savage. Our hands would brush against each other sometimes while we were eating, I've never seen someone pull their hand back so fast.

I looked at the big people's table, and they all looked just as awkward as we did. No one knew where to rest their eyes while they ate.

Me and Glenn finished first, and he turned to the big people table and asked "Does anybody know how to play guitar?" everyone stopped eating to look at him. "Dale found a cool one" the clinking of knives and forks on plates started again and Glenn laughed stating "Somebody's gotta know how to play"

I did, but I didn't plan on announcing it.

"Otis did" Patricia said as she pushed her food around with her fork.

"Yes, and he was very good, too" Hershel said, probably for Patricia's sake.

Everyone resumed eating again and Glenn faced back to our table, defeated. I had nothing to do other than sit here and watch people eat. But I noticed Glenn reading a piece of paper underneath the table, sharing glances with Maggie. I started to laugh when he started writing on it, earning me a kick from either Maggie or Glenn, I don't know who it was but I made me jump out in pain.

When everybody was finished, I decided to help Maggie and Beth clean up. The three of us collected the dirty plates and silverware from the tables and put them next to the sink in the kitchen. Beth started washing them, and I noticed Maggie walked a few feet away to look at something she took out of her pocket. "Go ahead, I got this" I said quiet enough for only Maggie to hear.

She looked startled, but she smiled and said "Thank you" and left the room.

I got a clean hand towel from the draw and started to dry the clean plates Beth had left for me. I didn't know where anything went in their kitchen so I just put them next to me.

"How did you end up with these people, then?" Beth broke the silence, looking at me.

"That's one hell of a long story" I chuckled, avoiding her eye contact, afraid I'd get lost in a trance if I looked for too long.

"We've got time, and I bet it's a great story" She smiled.

"Well, I live in a small town not too far from Atlanta with my older brother. My parents had already died before this happened, so I'm glad they didn't have to see the way the world is now. My brother was my best friend, he taught me everything I know, but he was a fucker. He probably got arrested by Rick a couple of times" I laughed, looking at my feet. "He didn't make it" I could feel the lump in my throat forming, so I swallowed it and carried on. "I made my way to Atlanta to find someone, a friend of mine. And I did, believe it or not. But it didn't last very long, she got bit. Glenn found me out on the street and took me back to camp" I finished. I didn't realise that I was crying, so I quickly wiped my face and looked at her.

Her eyes were full of horror, not taking them off me and I remembered she hadn't heard anything like this. They've been hidden away from all the horror. "I'm so sorry..."

"Me too" I replied. "C'mon, let's get this finished" I said as I got back to drying the dishes.


	5. Chapter 5

The sun came down on me hard this morning, making me sweat more as I helped Dale and T-Dog put up the shelter attached to the R.V. I had my white tee on, rolling the already short sleeves up as far as they would go.

Glenn came over and gave us some fruit, saying hey to T-Dog and I.

"Sup?" T-Dog nonchalantly replied.

"Nothing" Glen said, looking at both me and Dale nervously, and to T-Dog again "nothing's up, why?"

He picked up his fruit basket and left when we just stared at him and didn't say anything. He was the worst liar in the history of liars, I'd have to ask him about that later.

Shane came up to me just after we finished putting the shelter up, slapping my back a little too hard for my liking. We joined Rick and Jimmy at the usual car bonnet.

"The creek flows south, past that farmhouse Daryl found" Rick started when we were close enough. "Maybe Sophia dropped the doll there, the current brought it downstream"

"So what, you think she took this road here and then she went north?" Shane asked Rick. I didn't really know why they brought me here.

"Yeah, what's up that way?" He asked Jimmy.

"A housing development. It went in maybe 10 years ago" Jimmy replied, looking a little worried to have an input.

"Take a run up there after gun practice. I'll hold down the fort here, but take back up. After what went down with Daryl, I don't want anyone goin' out alone. We stay in pairs"

"I could tag along if you want, put aside our disagreements for a couple of hours" I said to Shane.

"I'll take suggestions on a partner" He said, looking at the basket Glenn was holding as he made his way to us.

"See how you do on the range and take your pick. We already know how Good Adam is, he could teach, too" Rick replied as he took a peach.

"Yeah, we'll see" I didn't really have the patience to teach.

Glenn was staring at Rick for a little too long when Shane said "Binoculars" snapping him out of it. He swooped the pair of binoculars from his shoulder and gave them to Shane. "Okay, bye" he said and took off. He was acting really weird today.

When I turned around, Patricia and Beth were walking towards us and I thought I was going to throw up, but I realised I just had butterflies. I hadn't spoken to Beth since our last talk, and I felt a little embarrassed for crying.

"We'd like to join you for gun trainin' today" Beth directed at Rick.

"Hershel's been very clear, I can't involve any of you in what we do without his okay"

"He doesn't like it, but he consented" Beth insisted.

Patricia spoke up now. "Otis was the only one who knew guns. Now that he's gone, we gotta learn to protect ourselves. Her father saw the sense in that"

"No offense, but I'll ask Hershel myself"

With that, they walked away with no looking back. I felt deflated, she didn't even look at me. But I was so going to teach her how to shoot later.

* * *

I saw Beth, Patricia and Jimmy get in their blue truck, and with a frown on my face I got into another car, sitting next to Carol and Andrea. The journey wasn't long, maybe around 10 minutes. When we got out, we all got straight to business, Shane went over the rules of gun safety and I handed out the hand guns.

The ringing of bullets flying and finding bottles filled the air as I walked up and down the line of armatures shooting. I stopped at Jimmy, as well as T-Dog. He was holding his gun sideward, what a fucking idiot.

"Hey, come on man. Don't give me that gangsta shit" T-Dog told him rather too nonchalantly.

"You'll get yourself killed shootin' like that" I told him with a death stare. He looked at us both nervously, quietly correcting his tilt. He took aim once again, shooting the bottle perfectly.

He looked back at me excitedly, I nodded encouraging him, and walked away.

Rick was helping Carl shoot, and the latter would get excited with each bullet he shot. Beth was a few feet away, looking confused about why her gun wouldn't shoot. She tilted her gun towards her face and I quickly said "Woah, careful Clint Eastwood" placing my hand on her's to point the gun somewhere else. I then took it off her, reloaded it and handed it back to her "Try it now".

She pointed her gun towards the many bottles in front of her and pulled the trigger. The bullet zoomed past the obstacles, and she lowered the gun with a frown on her face.

"You ain't aiming, here" I stepped behind her and lifted her arms up once again with my hands. I held her arms steady as I got her to aim at one of the bottles. I was way too aware of her back pressed up against my body to be concentrating on anything else, but the sound of a bullet finding a bottle brought me back to reality. She excitedly turned around to me and I laughed.

"Thank you" She smiled, nudging me with her elbow.

"Just remember to aim" I smiled back, deciding I better check on the others.

Once everyone had a better aim, we all headed back to get something to eat. Beth, Jimmy and Patricia went back into the house as we all sat around the campfire. Lori and Carol cooked some left over meat and eggs and we sat quietly and ate it. I was watching Andrea sharpen her knife as I shoveled my dinner in my mouth. Daryl was finally out his tent, so I flicked the smallest piece of egg at him, not wanting to waste it. It landed on his shirt, and he didn't even scowl at me, he just nodded at me and shoved it into his mouth.

"Um, guys" Glenn got our attention. He was standing around nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "So... the barns full of walkers" he forced out, looking around at us.

My heart nearly sank out my ass and my mouth froze in the middle of chewing. I forced the food down my throat and I blurted out "Are you fuckin' serious?"

We all got up then, needing to go and have a look for ourselves. When we got to the barn, we all kind of stood there, staring at it not knowing what to do. Shane looked through a crack, his face after confirmed there was defiantly walkers in there. "You cannot tell me you're alright with this" he directed to Rick as he walked back to us.

"No I'm not" Rick spat back at him "but we're guests here. This isn't our land"

"This is our lives!" Shane yelled.

"Shut the fuck up, Shane" I half whispered to him.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug" Andrea frowned.

"It ain't right, not remotely" T-Dog said.

"Okay, we've either gotta go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now, we've been talking about Fort Benning for a long time-" Rick cut Shane off.

"We can't go"

"Why, Rick? Why?" Shane demanded.

"Cause my daughter is still out there" Carol's face was full of emotion.

Shane started nervously laughing "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility-"

"We're not leaving Sophia behind" Rick angrily cut him off again.

"I'm close to finding this girl, I just found her damn doll two days ago" Daryl angrily intervened.

Shane started laughing again "You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did, you found a doll" He put exclamation on the last word.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about" Daryl was furious with him now and I put my hand on his chest to keep him back, now wasn't the time for a fight, we were standing beside a barn full of walkers.

"I'm just sayin' what needs to be said"

Everyone was talking over each other than, Rick was trying to calm the situation. But then Shane managed to get his voice over everyone else's "Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you comin' all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction"

Daryl flew for Shane then, and I had to grab him and pull him back. Rick and Glenn were in between them. "Back off" Rick shouted to Shane who was trying his hardest to hit Daryl. Lori pushed him a little, too and Shane looked her dead in the eye, pointed at her and said "Keep your hands off me" before walking away.

"Let me talk to Hershel, let me figure it out" Rick called back at him.

"What are you gonna figure out?!" Shane yelled at him as he turned around and started fast walking towards him. Lori put her hand on his chest again to keep him back.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it" Rick's face was furious but his voice was calm. "This is his land"

"Hershel sees those things in there as people- sick people- his wife, his stepson" Dale intervened.

"You knew?" Rick frowned at him.

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel"

"And you waited the night?" Shane yelled at him.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting until this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one"

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or not" Shane yelled once again.

Then the barn doors started moving. The walkers inside were ruthlessly banging against it to get to their dinner. We all started moving away then, not wanting to be near it when they tear it down.

The barn was visible from camp, so we all kept nervously look to it. Shane had Andrea help him take turns in watching it, he asked me but I said no, I don't wanna be involved in his antics.

The whole barn situation was wearing me out, and I needed to do something. I started to gather some logs and got our axe from the R.V. Firewood was burning low so I thought I'd keep my hands busy so we didn't run out. Each swing made me pour with more and more sweat, and my white tee was clinging to me.

After a while, I saw Beth emerge from the house in the corner of my eye, and I filled up with hope that she'd come and say hi. I didn't take my eyes off her, still swinging the axe. She was making her way towards me, and I thought I better keep it cool. So I stopped watching her and chopped wood even harder.

"Hey" She finally said when she wasn't far away.

"Hey" I gave her a big smile, not on purpose, it just kind of came out. "What's up?"

"I just needed to get out of the house" She was looking at the ground, frowning.

"I was planning on doin' a small look for Sophia if you wanna join?" I wasn't, but we haven't had a chance to talk alone for what feels like forever.

She gave me a small smile, saying "Yeah, sure"

She came into the R.V. with me, watching me look for my gun. We made our way into the forest in silence. As soon as the trees were around us, I thought I better get this question out-of-the-way. "Is your dad gonna be okay with this?"

She shrugged "Maybe not, but I really don't care right now"

I laughed "You're finally in your rebellious teenager phase, then"

She laughed, too. "Maybe"

We were silent then. I kept my eyes open for Sophia, but Beth's presence was a little distracting. She looked like she was thinking, she wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings or that she was walking next to me. She looked so beautiful, though.

Rustling made me jump to reality and my hand flew straight to the knife at my hip as my eyes darted from bush to bush. I heard the obvious sound of a walker to my right, and there it was, 5 feet away from Beth who was frozen in place. It was reaching out to her, so I quickly got in between them. It got hold of me and dropped me to the floor. My knife was at my right near my head, but I couldn't get it with the walker pushing its full force onto me.

"Beth, the knife" I called to her. But she didn't reply. I looked up and she wasn't too far away, but her face looked to be in shock. Fuck.

I started pushing as hard as I could, and I finally got the walker on its back. I didn't have the time to grab my knife, so I got on top of it, pinning its arms to the ground with my knees. I started pounding its head in with my fist over and over. It's head started to cave in, not leaving a very nice sight. One last punch, and the walker's skull crumbled, spraying blood everywhere. I looked at my knuckle, and it had bits of brain over it so I tried to shake it off.

I stood up, breathing hard, and turned around to face Beth. Tears streamed down her face, while blood streamed down mine. She didn't take her eyes off me, her mouth ajar.

"Beth" I started walking towards her, but with every step I took forward, she took backwards.

"You killed him" her voice was barely audible she was that quiet.

"It was a walker, Beth. It was already dead" I tried to explain.

"He was sick" she was looking at me like I was a monster and it was killing me, I just wanted to see her smile again.

"Beth you can't believe that, it just tried to kill both of us. They're not people, anymore"

"There's gonna be a cure, Adam"

"There ain't no damn cure!" I yelled, losing my temper.

She was taken aback, but she stood her ground. "You still can't go around killing people, that makes you the monster, not them!"

"If they're so sick, then why did my own friend try to fuckin' eat me? Why was her face fallin' off as she pinned me to the ground not seeing me, but seein' dinner?!" I shouted at her.

She was quiet then, staring at me. I shook my head and started to walk away. But I remembered what just happened and stopped myself. "C'mon"

She walked to my side and we walked back in silence. When we got back, I left Beth's side and walked as fast as I could back to camp. Carol said something about my face covered in blood but I just shook my head and entered my tent, zipping it up behind me. I hadn't even showered, but I didn't care. How could Beth be so naïve? She was awesome but I couldn't stand to see her right now. I couldn't stand to see anyone right now. I took off my blood ridden t-shirt and jeans and lay down, deciding a dream would probably be easier than right now.


	6. Chapter 6

The screech was leading me now, taking me somewhere. I followed it through the darkness of the night, past unlit street lamps down a road I know from my dreams. It spoke to me, and I followed. It was hot, but I was so cold. I walked past walkers, but they didn't see me. I was approaching to someone lying on the ground, the screech told me to venture forward. Two nearby street lamps illuminated her. The light bounced off the puddle of blood forming around her body. I looked at her face, she was so beautiful even when she was dying. I wanted to go to her, I wanted to help her, I tried to run to her but the screech wouldn't let me. I was paralysed again. Her eyes were begging, and I could feel my insides breaking. But her face started to change, it wasn't her anymore. Suddenly, Beth was looking up at me covered in blood. I grabbed the knife that was next to me and sat right up, my eyes searching for whatever startled me. I found Glenn in the doorway of my tent with a terrified look on his face.

I sighed and rubbed my face, relieved I wasn't asleep anymore. "What's up?" I didn't bother to look up.

"Just thought you might wanna be woken up by now, I could hear you tossing and turning all the way over from my tent" He held his usual worried expression.

I frowned at my hands. "I appreciate it, just wish I didn't have to sleep" I started putting my t-shirt on.

"I worry about you, man"

"I know, just not right now, Glenn. Maybe later"

He nodded at that and left to let me get ready to come out.

I joined the others who were sitting around the campfire that wasn't lit or by their tents. Carol was sat by herself, so I joined her. Everyone kept looking at me, so that means I must've been screaming in my sleep again.

Carol pushed a basket of peaches towards me when I sat down, and I gladly took one. "Beth bought them around this morning" she told me, smiling.

I looked at the basket and frowned "How nice of her" I tried to sound normal, but it came out monotone.

"What happened between you two yesterday? You pretty much ran away from her" I could tell she wasn't asking out of curiosity.

I sighed, I couldn't keep anything from Carol, she was like my mom. "We had a little argument. She thinks walkers are people, and I got mad. I don't know what's wrong with me"

"Nothings wrong with you" she put her hand on my shoulder, smiling "but you have to respect other people's views. Maybe she only believes that because its the only thing that makes everything seem okay"

"I guess. But I just don't want anything bad to happen to her just because her dad put a bunch of walkers in their barn"

She looked at me for a while, and then asked me "Do you like this girl?"

I stared at her, I was offended that she asked that question but I realised it's so true that it hurts. "Yes, ma'am"

"Then don't be mad at her for this. I know what happened with your 'friend' was bad, but this isn't her fault"

"You're so full of wisdom" I laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

Before I knew it, I was standing on the porch looking at their front door. I felt rude even thinking about walking in and I'd feel stupid for knocking. She must've caught on though, because she came out before I could over think things.

"I wanted to apologize to you" I kind of blurted out before she could say anything.

"No, I should apologize. I didn't know about your friend, I'm so sorry" She pulled me into a tight hug and I felt like I could never let go of her ever again.

"I took my anger out on you, I'm sorry" I mumbled into her hair.

I took her hand and we sat down together and just talked. It felt like we were there forever, and I never wanted it to end. We talked about nothing and everything at the same time. Glenn and Maggie eventually joined us, and it was the first time I genuinely enjoyed myself since the world went to shit. Carl came over and we decided to have a tournament of slaps. Carl won, but I think we all had a secret motive that we've never spoken about to let him enjoy winning.

T-Dog and Andrea came over then, T-Dog asked me and Glenn "Do you guys know what's going on?"

"Where is everyone?" Andrea asked us.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn wondered.

"He went off with Hershel, we were supposed to leave a couple of hours ago"

"Yeah, you were. What the hell?" Daryl and Carol joined us.

"Rick told us he was going out"

"Dammit, isn't anybody takin' this seriously? We got us a damn trail" He was obviously pissed off, and with good reason. I shouldn't be sitting here talking my ass off, I should be looking for Carol's little girl. "Here we go" he said as he spotted Shane carrying the bag of guns walking towards us.

Everyone was getting nervous seeing Shane with all those guns. I stood up, pointing to the duffel bag on his bag. "What's all this?"

"You with me, man?" He asked Daryl, handing him a gun. I guessed he said 'yeah' because he happily took it.

"It's time to grow up. You already got your's?" He asked Andrea.

"Yeah... where's Dale?"

"He's on his way"

"I thought we couldn't carry" T-Dog grabbed a gun.

"We can and we have to" he raised his voice now, making sure we could all hear him. "Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't. How about you, man?" he walked up to Glenn, holding out a gun. "You gonna protect your's?"

He looked at Maggie and looked at the gun, grabbing it but looking furious with himself.

"What about you, big man?" He held out a gun for me, too. I didn't know what to do, I looked at Glenn and he slightly nodded, so I snatched it out of his hands.

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight" Maggie told him.

"We have to stay, Shane" Carl sounded older than he was.

"What is this?" Lori came out of no where.

"We ain't going anywhere, okay?" He assured Carl. "Now look, Hershel, he's just gotta understand. Okay? Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia, am I right?" He said as he got on one knee and handed Carl a hand gun. "You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes, you know how. Go on, take the gun"

Lori quickly stood in between the two, making sure Carl doesn't take it. "Rick said no guns, this is not your call. This is not your decision to make" She spat at him.

"Oh shit" T-Dog was looking at something in the distance, and all of our eyes followed. Rick, Hershel and Jimmy had walkers in some kind of leash. This explains how Hershel got all of those walkers in the barn.

"What is that?" Shane asked no one and began sprinting towards them. I did the same, along with everyone else. "What the hell are you doin'?" Shane yelled at Rick when he was close enough.

"Shane, just back off" Rick told him as he was struggling to control the walker on the leash.

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel shouted to Rick.

"Are you kiddin' me? You see what they're holdin' on to?!" Shane asked the rest of us.

"I see who I'm holdin' on to"

"Nah man, you don't"

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk"

Shane started to pace as he yelled. "What do you wanna talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us!" With every word that Shane yelled, the walkers became more and more agitated.

"Shane, shut up!"

"Hey, Hershel man, let me ask you somethin'. Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane asked as he pulled out his hand gun and shot the walker that Hershel was holding three times in the chest. This just made the walkers even more agitated.

"Stop it!" Rick was shaking with anger.

"That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still comin'?" He shot at the walker two more times "That's its heart, it's lungs. Why is it still comin'?!" He shot at it another three times.

"Shane, enough!"

"Yeah, you're right man. That is enough" He was about five feet away from the bullet ridden walker when he shot it in the head. The sudden deadweight on Hershel's leash nearly pulled him down.

Hershel was on his knees, and you could see in his eyes that he was a broken man. Everybody but Shane and Rick were silent.

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" he yelled the last part as he looked at Carol. "Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough! Rick, it ain't like it was before. Now, if you wanna live, if you wanna survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now!" With that, he sprinted towards the barn doors, and everybody started shouting but I couldn't hear them, I was too busy concentrating on the hell that's about to be bought down on us. Shane was beating the shit out of the barn doors with a pickaxe, and he busted the lock off. He threw the plank away and made sure they were angry enough to come out by banging on the door a few times. He got back, and readied his gun. Andrea and T-Dog were quick to join him. And then Daryl with his shot-gun. Maggie told Glenn to go, so he did. I followed him with my hunting rifle. I shot one in the head, a boy. And all I could think about was how much this is killing the Greene family behind us. But I had no choice but to help my family right now. Every bullet found flesh to pierce, every bullet found a part of the Greene family's past. The gun shots died down, and the last walker finally hit the floor. There must've been about 20 bodies on the floor, and I felt like I was the world's biggest asshole. We all just stood there and took a look at the mess we just created. I looked behind me, and all I could see was Beth breaking down, sobbing. I realised one of these bodies on the floor was her mother. Fuck. Jimmy was holding her, but she was shaking hard. I couldn't look at her anymore, so my eyes went back to the bodies.

The sound of a small ragged breath told us that we wasn't finished. We all raised our guns and waited for it to emerge. A little girl came out, examining her dinner. We all dropped our guns out of shock, that everything was for nothing when Sophia was coming towards us.

I heard Carol starting to sob behind me but I couldn't look. I couldn't take my eyes off her daughter. She must've tried to run to her, but Daryl grabbed her and stopped her. She was sobbing her daughter's name.

I dropped to my knees out of defeat. I couldn't believe this was happening. Maybe it was a night terror, maybe life was one big night terror. Sophia's rotting body was tripping over the bodies on the floor, still trying to reach us. The grunts she was making, they sounded like her voice, but it wasn't her anymore.

Rick stood in front of all of us, his gun pointed at Sophia's head. But he hesitated. She was nearly on him, but he did it. I didn't hear the gunshot, the only thing I could hear was Carol's sobbing and pleading. Daryl was dragging her up "Don't look" he kept saying to her. He took her away, but my eyes didn't follow them. My eyes were fixed on Sophia's lifeless body among the rest.

With Carol gone, the only thing I could hear now was Beth's quiet sobs. There wasn't anything I could say to her to make it not hurt. She nearly ran to the corpses littering the floor, Rick tried to stop her but it didn't even look like she saw him. She found what she was looking for quick enough, and she pushed the other bodies off of her mother. But when she rolled her over, it attacked her, trying to grab her pig tails. I was the first by her side, I must've moved quick since I was on my knees, but things were bad enough already, I wasn't going to let anything happen to Beth. I pulled Beth away from the walker she calls 'mom', with a little help from others. T-Dog started stamping on the walker's head, but it didn't work. Andrea came over with the pitchfork and ended the walker's agitation.

Beth was shaking uncontrollably in my arms, and I told her to go to her dad. The two held onto each other for dear life. We started walking towards the house, all feeling deflated. But Shane disturbed us. "We've been out, we've been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along?"

"Leave us alone" Maggie told him off.

"It ain't the time, Shane" I told him as Rick tried to stop him.

"You knew, and you kept it from us" He pointed at Hershel.

"I didn't know"

"That's bullshit, I think y'all knew"

"We didn't know" Maggie told him again.

"Why was she there?" Shane demanded to know.

Hershel stopped walking now they were outside the house, the rest of the Greenes went onto the porch. "Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed"

"You expect me to believe that? Do I look like an idiot?"

"I don't care what you believe!"

"Everybody just calm down" Rick was trying to defuse the situation.

"Get him off my land!"

Shane was getting in Hershel's face "Let me tell you something-"

Maggie cut him off with a slap to the face. "Don't touch him! Haven't you done enough?"

With that, the Greenes entered the house. Before Hershel closed the door, he said "I mean it, off my land"

Glenn joined Maggie inside and Rick and Shane obviously needed to talk, so I made my way to the others back at the camp. Carol was in the R.V. with Daryl, but the others were sitting silently around the campfire. Carl was quietly sobbing in his mother's arms.

I opened the R.V. door, and Carol was on the sofa sobbing into a pillow. Daryl was standing around awkwardly. "Give us a minute?"

He nodded and shut the door behind him. I sat next to Carol and gently rubbed her back. I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything. She didn't need words, she just needed to know that I was here for her. She eventually sat up, still sobbing, and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel her tears dropping on my shoulder, but I didn't care. I held her as tight as I could, and I sobbed with her.

It felt like we were there for hours, we didn't talk, we just held each other. But I had to stop and stand up. "What are you doing?" she asked me, her voice breaking.

"Something that's got to be done"

She nodded, she knew what I was talking about. Daryl went back into the R.V. when I came out. Everyone was gone by now, so I met them at the barn. Rick, Jimmy and Shane were there, too. "Want us to start buryin' 'em?" I heard T-Dog ask Rick when I approached them. I saw that someone had covered Sophia's body with a blanket.

"We need a service, Carol would want that" Andrea sighed.

"Let's dig a grave for Sophia. And Annette and Shawn" Lori said.

"And the other's? That's a hell a lot of digging" Jimmy said.

"We bury the one's we love, and burn the rest" Andrea let him know.

"Let's get to work"

Shane went to get the truck, so I followed everyone to dig a grave. I didn't want to talk to anyone, or have any kind of communication. I just needed to do something.

Andrea had Annette's, T-Dog had Shawn's and I had Sophia's. Jimmy was trying to help me but he was just pissing me off even more, I just wanted to be alone. I was working myself as hard as I could digging Sophia's grave. It had to be perfect. Her lifeless body was lying next to me, and I couldn't stop looking at it while I dug. There was so much life in that body, so much happiness, fear, innocence. Now it's all gone.

Shane brought the truck over and was helping Andrea dig. We were all silent until I heard T-Dog say "That's it"

I looked over and him and Andrea were standing above their graves, finished digging. I carried on, this one had to be perfect for Carol. "Adam, that's fine" I heard Lori say but I ignored her, it had to be perfect. I felt a hand on my back and I froze mid-dig. "It's okay" Lori told me.

"It has to be perfect" My voice broke, betraying me.

"C'mon" She held a hand out to me and I took it. I stood over Sophia's grave and tears escapes from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away.

* * *

Carol didn't come to the funeral. Hershel and his family were on one side mourning Annette and Shawn, and we were on the other side, mourning Sophia. No one spoke, there was no speeches. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the tree we buried them under. I'd only ever been to one funeral before all this happened, my parents'. But now, there's too many.

We decided to get it over and done with, we had to get rid of the rest of the mess outside the barn. I helped T-Dog and Andrea lift the bodies and load them onto the truck. They were heavy, but I was strong. Andrea and T-Dog helped each other with each walker they picked up but I only helped myself, avoiding conversation. "A few more trips" Rick came out of no where.

"We got lucky, if that barn had any more, we would've been overrun" Andrea said.

"Good thing Shane did what he did, when he did" I stopped what I was doing and looked at T-Dog, disgusted.

"You can't tell me this was right" Dale told him.

I blocked them out, carrying on with my heavy lifting. I wasn't in the mood for any of their dramatic shit and I felt like a ticking bomb. When they'd stopped talking and I'd stopped loaded, T-Dog got in the car and Andrea sat in the back with the corpses. I let them drive off without me because T-Dog was acting like an asshole.

I needed Beth. Not to talk to her, not to hug her. I just want to make sure she's okay. So I made my way to the house, I just walked straight in, too emotional to care right now. I found Glenn and Maggie in the dining room, but Beth was in the kitchen behind them so I didn't stop and say hello before I went to her.

I didn't say anything when I stood next to her, I just stared at her while she cleaned the dishes like a crazy person. I finally managed to force "Beth?" out of my throat, but she didn't reply. She didn't even look at me. She looked pale and worn down. I didn't know why I was here, standing beside her. I'm an idiot. But suddenly, Beth's body went limp and she fell to the ground. "Beth!" I shouted. I ran to her side, Maggie and Glenn following me. Maggie told me to take her to her bedroom, so I picked her up and held her in my arms as I walked up the stairs and into her room. I lay her on the bed, and Maggie sat next to her.

"Sweety, can you hear me?" Maggie was trying to get her to talk, her eyes were open but she was unresponsive. Lori came in, taking a look at Beth. "What's wrong with her?" Maggie asked her.

"She might be in shock. Where's Hershel?"

"We can't find him anywhere" Glenn replied.

Maggie and Glenn left me alone with Beth to go with Rick to investigate Hershel's room so they can find where he is. I was glad to be alone with Beth, she's the only person I could stand to be around right now. But I didn't know what was wrong with her or how to help her. I just sat next to her, held her hand and looked into her unseeing eyes. "I'm so sorry about what happened, Beth" I kissed her forehead and sat in silence.

Patricia and Jimmy eventually came up, and Maggie finally joined us. Patricia was making sure her heart rate was normal, and Jimmy was just standing around awkwardly, same as me. Maggie kept trying to get her to respond but she kept failing. Andrea kept popping in and out, clearly worried. She asked me how she was and I just shrugged.

It got dark real fast, and Patricia was cooking us dinner. I didn't want to join them, but Andrea practically dragged me downstairs by my ear. I sat next to Carl, not looking at anyone.

"They should've been back by now" Andrea said to Shane. I realised she was talking about Rick and Glenn, who went to find Hershel.

"Yeah. They just got hold up somewhere. We'll head out first thing in the mornin'"

Carol and Patricia were dishing out food. Carol had a blank expression on her face the whole time.

"Carl, I want you to keep your head up, okay? Your old man, he's the toughest son of a-"

"No cussing in the house" Patricia cut Shane off, giving him a deathstare.

Shane's face was full of amusement when he apologized to her.

"Lori, dinner" Carol raised her voice.

"She's not in there" Maggie let her know.

"Where is she?" Dale asked.

Everyone was looking to each other for answers but it didn't seem like anyone knew. "Carl, when was the last time you saw your mom?" Shane asked him.

"This afternoon"

"She was worried about Rick, asked me to look in on Carl" Andrea's face was full of worry.

"She went after them?" Dale's face was full of horror.

"She didn't say that"

"Nobody panic, she's gonna be around here somewhere" with that, everyone got up to look for her, but I stayed where I was.

"You gotta get some rest, Adam" Carol put her hand on my shoulder as I sat alone at the table.

"You do, too" I looked at her.

She held her hand out for me and I took it, she leaded me out of the house. When we got back to the camp, everyone was panicking about Lori being missing, no one found her.

"Where is she?" Carl asked no one and everyone.

"She asked Daryl to go into town, she must've gone herself" Carol informed.

Carl started to cry and ran off. Shane got straight into the car and sped off to find her. No one knew what to do with themselves, including me. I didn't want to sleep, and I wasn't tired. So I sat myself atop the R.V.

It was quiet, and I didn't let myself think. My mind was blank, all I did was watch. I watched the trees blowing in the wind, birds flying in the distance. It was too dark to see anything else, but the headlights on Shane's car were clear as day. Shane and Lori stepped out of the car when they stopped, Lori looked injured, holding a cloth to her head.

"Oh my god, are you alright?" Andrea ran to her. "What happened?"

"I was in an accident, I'm fine, I really am. Where's Rick?" when everyone fell silent, she asked "They're not back?" she then looked to Shane demanding to know "Where are they?"

"I had to get you back here"

"You asshole" She then started to push him.

"I will go after them and I will find them. But first things first I gotta look after you, I gotta make sure the baby's alright, okay?"

"You're having a baby?" Carl came back now, demanding to know. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lori didn't say anything to him. They took her away to make sure she's okay, though. Carl followed her, demanding answers.

I was looking out all night for Rick, Glenn and Hershel to turn up but they never did. I didn't sleep, I still wasn't tired. I just wanted to know how Beth was. So I got down from my R.V. and made my way to the house. Again, I didn't bother knocking, I just went straight upstairs to Beth's room. I lingered in the doorway. "How is she?" I asked Maggie and Patricia. Beth's eyes were still open, still unseeing.

"Dehydrated. I'll set up an I.V., best I can do without Hershel" Patricia left the room.

Maggie moved up to Beth and held her hand. I sat myself on the other side of the bed, watching the two.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked her, not knowing what to do with myself.

"No, I just wished my dad was here" I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She had to watch that mess with the barn, Beth collapsed, and her dad's missing.

"She'll pull through, Maggie. She's a fighter" I tried to smile but it probably looked creepy.

She started smiling as she was looking at Beth, remembering something. "You know, my first summer back from college, I drove home, dumped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride. My family comes back from church and Beth grabs my things and starts unpacking my stuff up stairs" we both laughed "and this one here starts rifling through my backpack. She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside. She didn't even know I was on the pill. She was so freaked out by the idea of me, and boys and sex, she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond. And I ride up, I see this, I'm screamin'. She's crying and Shawn runs out, thinks one of us is drownin'. Soon as he figures out what's going on, the jerk busts out laughing so loud that my horse rears up and gets mud all over the three of us" she was laughing the whole time she was talking and I couldn't wipe the smile on my face. "My dad comes out "what the heck's goin' on out here?!" And she turns around, bats her eyelids and says "we're just swimmin', daddy". In her Sunday dress, all covered in snot and mud" She was still smiling, but crying a little.

I was looking at Beth then, imagining her younger and even more innocent than she already was. "I know you like her" I looked up and Maggie was staring at me.

I didn't know what to say, but I defiantly couldn't deny it. "Is it that obvious?"

"She loves Jimmy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I try to stay away, but I keep getting reeled in. I just want her to be safe"

She smiled at me then "You're a good guy, Adam"

"I'm funny, too" She laughed and I got up and left.

Everyone was prepping to go out and find Rick, Glenn and Hershel. I grabbed my hunting rifle from the bag and hung it on my back. My two knives were already in their holster on my hip and Daryl gave me a spare hand gun just in case. The sound of a not too distant car engine made us all stop in our tracks, I looked behind me and the car Rick and Glenn left in was coming up the road. They stopped right outside the house and everyone was already filing out. We jogged up to them.

Once they were out, Carl ran up to Rick and hugged him. Maggie ran past her farther to hug Glenn. "Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery" Hershel said as he was walking onto the porch.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog was pointing at the guy in the back of the car. He had a blindfold wrapped around his head and he was unconscious.

"That's Randall" Glenn told us.

"We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out, if he lived that long" Rick sat us all down in the dining room.

"It's gotten bad in town" Glenn told us quietly.

"What do we do with him?" Andrea was frowning.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week" Hershel informed us as he entered the room.

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way"

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked.

"He'll have a fighting chance"

"Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are" Shane doubted Rick once again.

"He was blindfolded the whole way here, he's not a threat"

"Not a threat. How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come lookin' for him"

"They left him for dead, no one is looking" Rick was getting angry now, raising his voice.

"We should still post a guard" T-Dog suggested.

"He's out cold right now, will be for hours" Hershel told them.

"You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy" Shane scoffed, leaving the room. "Look at this folks, we back in fantasy land"

"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet" Shane turned around to look at Hershel. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all. This is my farm. Now I wanted you gone, Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour, keep your mouth shut" Hershel warned him.

Shane did as he was told, leaving the house. Everyone else followed single file, apart from the Greene family, Glenn and I. I went to see Beth. Hershel was already in there, listening to her heartbeat. "Have you slept, son?" he didn't look at me when I sat in the chair across the room.

"No, sir"

"You look awful. Night terrors still botherin' ya?"

"They're gettin' worse" I frowned.

"I know you've taken a fancy to my daughter. I ain't gonna lecture you about it right now, but if you get some sleep we'll talk in the mornin'. Sleep there" He ordered me and left the room.

I took a deep sigh and looked at Beth. I wanted to bad to climb into bed with her, but I stayed where I was. I still didn't feel tired, but when I closed my eyes I was back in that same street as I am every night.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is a bit of a short and sweet chapter, but the next one will be a lot longer. Enjoy!**

_"These things are everywhere, we gotta get back to the house. Now!" He nearly shouted at me, helping me off the ground._

_Blood and sweat were dripping from my face but I was too in shock to care. Lifeless bodies were walking around eating people. People I knew, people I didn't know. "Logan, what's happening?"_

_He sighed, never taking his eyes off the road before us. "I don't know little brother, but it ain't good. We gotta get back"_

_We walked as fast as we could. He was half a foot taller than I was, so I sometimes had to jog to keep up. I didn't see any of those things around, just people in a rush. Packing their things in their cars and driving away as fast as they could. When we got to our front yard, Mr. Anderson was waiting for us. "Mr. Anderson?" Logan asked, stopping where he was._

_Mr. Anderson turned around, looking at us with those pale eyes that used to be brown. His eye glasses were hanging from his face, and his white shirt underneath his cardigan was bloodstained. He grunted at us in reply, pursuing us. Logan didn't think once before pulling out his gun and shooting him in the head. Mr. Anderson dropped to the ground, his eye glasses finally flying off his face._

_"Logan, what the fuck?!" I blurted out in shock._

_"Adam, that wasn't Mr. Anderson. It was something else, something dead" He grabbed the collar of my plaid shirt and made me walk to our front door. He double locked it behind him._

_"We need to call the police" I didn't know what to do anymore._

_"The police are out there, little brother. The police are half of those things out there. There's nothin' we can do except see how this plays out" He started to push the hall drawers in front of the front door._

_I decided to make myself of use and dragged my body to the back door, making sure it was locked. "The fridge" He was behind me, already unplugging the fridge from the wall. We leaned the fridge forward onto my back and dragged it toward the door. The weight was damn near unbearable, I thought my back might cave in, but we somehow made it to the door. With that done, we made sure all the curtains and blinds were closed and we didn't put on any lights. We just sat in the living room in silence._

_"I was supposed to meet Travis at 5" I told him, cringing at the thought of something happening to Travis._

_"You can't go out there, it's too dangerous" he calmly told me._

_"But what if he goes there to meet me? What if something happens to him while he's waiting for me and I don't show up?" I was getting angry now, I needed to make sure Travis was okay._

_"You ain't going, end of story" He defiantly wouldn't let me go even if I tried. "Plus, he's probably dead by now" He said in a monotone voice as he put his feet up on the sofa._

_My mouth was left ajar at what he just said to me. Did he even care that the world was being torn to shreds by flesh-eating dead people? I got up, making sure he knew I was mad at him and went into my bedroom. The slamming of a door made me jerk up, looking for my knife._

"Adam?" Maggie had unzipped my tent, she had a worried look on her face.

"Maggie? What's going on?" I said, rubbing my eyes.

"It's Beth"

I stared at her in a sudden panic and she left so I could put some clothes on. I grabbed my khaki shorts, but realised all of my t-shirts we being cleaned by Carol.

"Lose your shirt?" Maggie asked when I exited the tent shirtless. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my white tee from the washing line by the campfire. I threw it over my head and we started to walk towards the house.

"So what's going on?" I asked her, my panic coming back.

"She wants to die. I thought you might be able to talk her into staying with us" She said bluntly.

I was a little lost for words with what I just heard. Holy shit. "She wants to die?" She nodded and I looked towards the house as we walked. "When did she wake up?"

"This mornin'. Ever since, she's been a little emotionless. She stole a knife, too. I just want you to make her see what she has to live for. Please" She was begging me I realised.

"I'll do what I can" I frowned.

We headed straight upstairs to Beth's bedroom, she entered first and I followed. She didn't look at me at first, but those big eyes found me eventually. She didn't look sad, but she didn't look happy. She didn't look like she felt anything, and I felt cold looking at her. "I'll get you more water" Maggie picked up the glass that was on Beth's bedside table, giving me a worried look before she closed the door behind her.

"Hey, Pidge" I sat down next to her, trying to act normal.

She didn't say anything back, she just looked down at her hands in her lap. I watched her fidgeting her fingers for a long time, but I remembered why Maggie wanted me here, so I lay down on the bed with her sitting next to me. She still didn't look at me, so I grabbed her hand and started fidgeting with it myself. Now she was watching my hands play with her's, she didn't protest. "I tried to do it, once" I told her nonchalantly.

She was looking at my face no, for the first time since I lay down. "Do what?"

"Kill myself. I just couldn't pull the trigger" I said matter-of-factly, still playing with her fingers.

Her eyes didn't change, they didn't show horror or shock like they usually do. She just sighed and pulled her hand out of mine.

"It's a cruel world, Beth, I get it. But I think you should stick around to see how this plays out, ya know?"

"You ain't very good at this" Her voice was so monotone it hurt.

"I'm not tryin' to be. I'm just tellin' you what I think. I think you're awesome, and I can see us bein' pretty good friends. But we can't do that if you're dead. So all I'm sayin' is to just think about it, cause it's pretty permanent" I moved close to her and put my arm around her shoulders. "Okay?"

She didn't say anything, but she looked into my eyes, so I was defiantly not invisible right now. I kissed her forehead and slid off the bed, before I closed the door behind me, I looked back at her but she was looking out the window. I went downstairs to find Maggie and she was sitting at the table waiting for me. She stood up when she saw me approaching her. "How was it?"

"I don't know, I could barely get her to talk. She's got it bad" I looked down, frowning.

She signed, walking into the kitchen. She filled up a glass with water, adding ice from the freezer. "You want anything?"

"Could I have some water, please?"

When she gave me the water, I downed half of it. It felt like heaven was sliding down my throat. There's nothing a cold glass of water can't cure. Maggie went back upstairs to take Beth the glass of water she promised her ages ago while I stayed in the kitchen enjoying mine. But Maggie's cries for 'Beth' and banging made me run upstairs as fast as I could. I found her in Beth's room, banding her fist on Beth's bathroom door. "I heard glass" She told me in a panic when she spotted me. "Don't do this, Beth" Maggie warned her, trying to get the door open. Beth's cries on the other side of the door were killing me and I'd do anything to stop them.

"You got any keys?"

"I don't know, I couldn't find any"

I had to figure out how to get that door open, so I had a quick look around for something heavy to bust it open with but it'd be too late by the time I find something. "Maggie, come out the way" I said as I walked to the door. "Beth, move away from the door" I raised my voice loud enough for her to hear. She was still crying, not acknowledging that we were trying to get to her.

I kicked near the door handle as hard as I could, it hurt but I ignored it. I kicked again, and the wood cracked in pain. I kicked again and the door swung open. Beth was facing the other way, and we froze. She was still crying, but she finally stopped ignoring us by turning around, revealing her blood soaked arm. "I'm sorry" She was looking at Maggie.

Maggie ran to her, applying pressure to her arm to stop the blood. "It's okay" Maggie was crying now, holding her sister. She took her to the bed, sitting her down. "Adam, take over, I gotta find dad"

I quickly replace Maggie, holding Beth's arm as I sat next to her. Maggie ran out the room, and Beth wouldn't stop crying. She put her head against my chest and sobbed into it. I rested my head on top of her's, telling her that it's okay over and over. Hershel finally burst into the room, making both Beth and I jump. He took her from me and began treating the wound, but I didn't move. I just watched her shy away from her father's disappointed glances. "You can leave, now" I presumed he was speaking to me, remembering that they're not my family. I did as I was told, but once again, I couldn't leave without looking at Beth once more. When I looked back, she was watching me leave. She'd stopped crying, and the desperate look on her face made it harder to leave, but I closed the door behind me.

I knew Jimmy would be in the stables, so my legs took me in that direction. "Adam" Maggie stopped me when I was about halfway there, running to catch up with me. "What're you doin'?" Her face was full of accusation, she already knew what I was doing.

"He should've been there, Maggie, not me" I was so angry but I didn't know at what or who.

"He couldn't have been there cause Beth didn't want him to be" she informed me.

"What?" I screwed up my face in confusion.

"She didn't want him there. Sometimes, he's just so immature. And he doesn't know what to say, he'd probably make it worse and she knows that. So I got dad to give him more chores to do to keep him away as much as possible"

I wanted to ask her why I was allowed to see her, but I didn't want her to think I was full of myself. She read my mind anyway "I came and got you this mornin' cause I knew you could calm her down, you have a way with words. And I was right. Whatever you said to her in that bathroom stopped her from cuttin' too deep. She told me herself. My family is eternally grateful, I don't know how to thank you" She wrapped her arms around my waist, I was half a foot taller than she was, and I was frozen in place at first. My arms eventually found their place around her back.

"Pizza would be good" she laughed at she pulled away and made her way back to the house.

I looked back at Jimmy who was oblivious to what had just happened 50 feet away from him. I went in the other direction and found myself back at camp. Carol and Lori froze when they saw me, their eyes widening. They were hanging up clean clothes on the home-made clothes line. I looked down and my hands were covered in dry blood, and my white tee was half red. "What happened?" Lori asked me, her voice fully of worry.

"Beth. She'll be okay, though" I was too busy looking at my hands to concentrate on them. This was Beth's blood, shit.

"Let's get you cleaned up" Carol grabbed my hand and took me to the nearest well. She sat my down and pumped some water into the bucket, pulling a sponge out of her pocket.

"Do you just carry that thing around?" I sarcastically asked her as she wet the sponge and started dabbing my hands.

"Comes in handy, don't it" She smiled at me. "So you gonna tell me what happened?" her eyes were replaced with worry, now.

I sighed, not wanting to talk about it already. But Carol was my apocalypse mom and I didn't want to keep anything from her. So I told her everything. How emotionless Beth was, what I said to her, how I had to kick down the bathroom door, Beth's panicked face, and what Maggie said to me after. She was silent as I spoke to her, but as soon as I finished, she finally spoke up. "Sounds like you saved a girl's life today" she gave me an encouraging smile.

"Maybe, but it scared the shit out of me" She shot the scariest look at me and I quickly sucked my words back in. "I mean poop"


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I said I'd make this one long, but the next one's going to be packed so I'll get on it right away. Thanks for reading, guys.**

Rick and Shane ended up not leaving the kid Randall alone 18 miles out, he knew Maggie and where she lived. They brought him back here and tied him up in the barn. Daryl was on him way back from 'interrogating' him. "Boy there's got a gang, 30 men" his crossbow was slung across his back and I took note that his knuckle was bloodied. "They have heavy artillery and they ain't lookin' to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna- They're gonna wish they were" He was frowning at us, squinting in the sun.

"What did you do?" Carol practically accused him.

"Had a little chat" Daryl lied.

"No one goes near this guy" Rick ordered everyone.

"Rick, what are you gonna do?" Lori asked him.

"We have no choice. He's a threat" he looked around at everyone and carried on "we have to eliminate the threat"

"You're just gonna kill him?" Dale seemed astounded.

I had to speak up. No matter how much I admired Rick, he was wrong for this and always will be. "You're talking about him like he's not even a person, you can't do this, Rick" I was so angry with him I had to clench my jaw to stop myself from yelling.

"It's settled, I'll do it today" Rick ignored us and walked away, with Dale on his heels.

As everyone started disperse, I saw there unbelieving of what I just heard. I looked up and Lori was looking at me, I knew she felt the same way I did but she was his wife so it was harder to speak out.

"How could you do that?" I asked Daryl. I didn't realise I'd started looking for him until he was sitting in front of me.

"Do what, sunshine?" He didn't look at me, he just carried on shoving the tin of beans in his face.

"You beat the shit out of that kid, I ain't stupid"

"So what if I did?"

"You can't do shit like that, man"

He put his beans aside now, standing up so we were face to face. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"Just because we found out Sophia's dead doesn't mean you can do whatever you want" I said through clenched teeth.

He got in my face now, pushing me back with his chest. "You wanna say that again?" His voice was low and intimidating.

"Stop bein' an asshole" I stood my ground.

Next thing I knew, I was knocked back by Daryl's fist colliding with my eye. It didn't hurt, but I'm pretty sure I saw stars for a second. I didn't hesitate to jump straight at him, but someone caught me mid-run, pulling me away from Daryl. T-Dog was pushing Daryl away from me, and I couldn't see anyone but Daryl through the red fog. I realised Glenn was trying his hardest to pull me back, which he was nearly failing at. I was bigger than him, I'm surprised he could hold me. "C'mon man, it's not worth it" Glenn told me loudly through strains.

I stopped resisting and let him take me away from camp, more towards the house. "You wanna get killed by Daryl Dixon?!" He yelled at me as he panted.

"Fucker can try it" I growled.

His eyes drifted over my right shoulder towards the house, and when I looked behind me, Maggie was storming towards us. I looked back at Glenn and his eyes were full of panic, but I think they did that whenever he saw her.

"What was just goin' on?" She demanded when she reached us. I could see why Glenn was scared of her but I tried to not let it show. "Who was fightin'?"

"Daryl and Adam" Glenn blurted almost immediately.

She looked relieved, she probably thought Glenn might've been in the middle of it. "How's Beth?" I changed the subject.

"She's okay. She's a little out of it, but she's okay" she smiled a little. "Wanna go see her?"

"You ain't gotta ask" I smiled and we started walking towards the house.

"I guess I'm coming, too" Glenn caught up.

Hershel was already sitting by Beth's side, talking. They both looked up when we came into the room. Hershel nodded at me and left us to it, Glenn followed him. I sat in Hershel's seat and Maggie sat next to Beth on the bed, feeling her head. Beth's eyes were different from what they were like yesterday. They actually saw you, and cared that you were there.

"You thirsty?" Maggie asked her, and Beth nodded, smiling. Maggie laughed and left the room.

Beth sat right up, leaning on the wall behind her. "Thank you for yesterday" her big blue eyes rested on mine.

"I got to hold your hand so I'm the real winner here" she laughed. "I'm just glad you're smiling again" I sighed out of relief. I feel like I've held my breath ever since Beth collapsed.

Maggie came back up with a glass of orange juice, handing it to Beth who happily sipped on it. "So what happened to your face?" Beth asked, putting her orange juice on her bed side table.

Then I realised my face hurt. I touched just beneath my left eye and there was a small cut and stung as I touched it. "Daryl sucker punched me" I winced at the pain.

"Why?" Maggie asked, they were both frowning.

"Because he beat the shit out of Randall for no reason, and I was the only one to confront him about it and he didn't like it. They're gonna execute Randall tonight" I joined them in the frowning party.

"They can't do that" Beth innocently insisted.

"Apparently that ain't a popular opinion" I told her.

"Rick's just doing what he thinks is right" Maggie sighed.

"I'll try to talk him out of it, I guess. But I'm gonna go and talk to Randall. Don't tell Glenn, you know how he is with secrets" Maggie laughed and rolled her eyes.

I said my goodbyes and left the house, making my way to Randall. I didn't see anyone on the way there, so I didn't have to explain what I was doing. But when I got there, Andrea was standing right outside the door and watching. "What're you doin'?" I asked her when I was close enough.

"Dale got me guarding the kid just in case somebody decided to off him" She informed me.

"Somebody as in Shane?"

"Why does everybody think Shane is the bad guy?" she was a little pissed with me for that comment.

"I just know what Dale's like" I lied, I didn't need someone else punching me.

She nodded. "So what're you doing?"

"I gotta talk to him" I told the truth.

"Rick said no one's to go in there"

"Yeah, well, I really don't care what Rick has to say right now. He's planning on executing someone for no reason, it's not cool" she was about to protest but I spoke again before she could. "I know you don't feel the same way, but please, just let me do this"

She stared at me and moved out of the way. "Don't let him grab you"

I closed the door behind me, and finally got a good look of this 'kid' everyone's been talking about. He was a lot smaller than I was, despite being a couple of years older. It looked as if I'd walked in on him trying to break out of his chains, because his face was full of worry. "Don't bother tryin' to escape, that will be immediate death for you" I warned him.

"You here to beat the shit outta me, too?" He seemed more scared than angry.

"No. And I'm sorry that happened to you"

He seemed to slowly believe me, his face began to relax. "You got any water?"

I ran my hands over my pockets and found my pocket flask in the back pocket of my jeans. I opened it for him, he opened his mouth and I poured the water for him. He drank greedily, spilling it now and then, but he defiantly looked like he needed it. He was gasping for air when my flask went dry, water dripping off his face. "Thank you, man" he said through gasps.

I went to the other side of the room and leaned up against the wall. He was watching me, probably still waiting for me to start beating on him. When that didn't happen, he started talking again "They're gonna kill me, ain't they?"

I looked at the ground for a long time, and when I looked back at him, his desperate face was begging me to say no. "Yeah" Randall fell silent for the first time. "I'm gonna try to not let it happen though" I reassured him.

"Why?"

"Because if we let this happen to you, we'll end up the monsters" With that, I left. Andrea was still on watch, giving me a nod as I closed the door behind me.

It was finally time for our little meeting, and we were all gathered around Hershel's living room. No one said anything for a long time, no one probably knew how to start.

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote?" Glenn asked everyone.

"Does it have to be unanimous? How about majority rules?" Andrea chipped in.

"Let's just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options" Rick ordered.

"The way I see it, there's only one way to move forward" Shane didn't seem to be able to feel guilt.

"Killing him, right? I mean, why even bother to vote? It's clear which way the winds blowin'" Dale felt the same way I did.

"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know" Rick told the group.

"Well I can tell you it's a small group. Maybe just me and Glenn"

Glenn looked at Dale then, guilt practically dripping from his face. "Look, I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time but this-"

"They're got you scared!" Dale cut him off.

"He's not one of us. And we've lost too many people already"

Dale was silent for a moment, looking around at the group. "How about you, do you agree with this?" He asked Maggie.

"Couldn't we continue keepin' him prisoner?" She asked Rick.

"Just another mouth to feed" Daryl said quietly behind Rick.

"It may be a lean winter" Hershel spoke.

"We could ration better" Lori suggested.

"Well, he could be an asset. Give him a chance to prove himself" Dale seemed desperate.

"Put him to work?"

"We're not letting him walk around"

"We could put an escort on him"

"And who wants to volunteer for that duty?"

"I will" I spoke for the first time.

"I don't think any of us should be walkin' around with this guy" Rick was getting a little heated.

"He's right, I wouldn't feel safe unless he's tied up" Lori backed Rick up.

"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles"

I started to block them out as they argued whether or not it was their choice to keep this human being alive. But I came back when Shane mentioned about snapping his neck.

"I thought about that, shooting might be more humane" I frowned at Rick, none of this was humane.

"What about the body?"

"You're talkin' about a person, you know that, right?" I finally burst out, looking around at their faces. They seemed shocked that I'd finally spoken out. "A person that hasn't done anything to us. Rick, you saved this guy's life, right? Why did you do that when you knew it'd come down this?" No one spoke, so I carried on. "If you're gonna kill him, you can leave me the fuck out of it cause I don't feel like bein' a monster today" I stormed out of the house, not looking back as I walked back to camp.

Nighttime was nearly on us, and I hadn't spoken a word to Daryl since this morning. It wasn't unusual for us to fall out but we've never hit each other like that before. I'd been sharpening my knives ever since I got back. Everyone found their way back eventually but no one sat with me or tried to talk to me. I was glad for that, though. I'm angry with them all aside from Dale, I would've said something stupid.

I saw Daryl, Rick and Shane huddle together on the outskirts of camp, their voices were lowered. Then they made their way to the small barn where Randall was kept, probably to bring him out for execution. "I guess it's really happening then" Carol had joined me by the campfire, feeding it more wood.

I didn't say anything, I just got back to sharpening my not-so-blunt knife. She looked at me for a while, and then went on to say "You're really upset about this, aren't you?" I nodded and she gave me a sympathetic smile.

Me and Carol sat in silence watching the wood crackle in the fire. I was still nonchalantly sharpening my knife, but the knife breaking the skin on my hand taught me a lesson. I threw the knife on the ground out of frustration and took a look at my hand. It wasn't too bad, there was quiet a bit of blood but I've had worse. The only thing is that it could get infected, I might have to go and see Hershel later.

Rick came back before I knew it with Carl at his side, but Daryl and Shane were nowhere to be seen. The group emerged from their tents and stopped what they were doing, waiting for confirmation from Rick. "We're keepin' him in custody. For now" after that, everyone went back to what they were doing.

"I'm gonna find Dale" Andrea smiled and walked off.

After talking, Rick and Lori sat down across the campfire from me, and I could feel Rick's eyes on me but I couldn't bring myself to look up. "Adam?" he called over the fire. I finally looked at him and his face was stone. "You good?"

I didn't get to answer him before screams echoed through the trees. Everyone stood up, looking around. Rick went off running to find the source, and I grabbed my hunting rifle and sprinted after him. Other's joined us and I heard Andrea scream Dale's name. That's when I saw Dale lying on the ground with a topless walker on top of him. He was struggling, his arms shaking underneath the weight of the walker pushing full force trying to take a bite. We all ran faster, the light of flashlight was shaky in the darkness. Dale's grunting turned into screams of pain, and I knew it was going to be over for him. I didn't let the wave of sadness make me hesitate, adrenalin took over and I was the first one to reach Dale, tackling the walker head on. I beat its head in with the but of my rifle, remembering that I left my knife on the ground. I then ran to Dale to see what damage had been done, and I nearly threw up right there. The walker had torn his stomach wide apart, and his insides were pooled with blood. Dale didn't say anything, he was probably in shock. "Hang in there, buddy" I told him as Rick and the others finally reached us.

"Alright, just listen to my voice" Rick examined Dale as he spoke with his hand on his face. He then stood up, telling someone to get Hershel, but I sat on the ground next to Dale. Andrea sat down next to him, now.

"Hand on, Dale" she told him, her voice was full of emotion. Everyone was talking at once and it was hard to listen, Rick was still shouting for Hershel. Dale's eyes were wide open as he looked up at Andrea. He looked at no one else.

"What happened?!" Hershel finally made his way over, kneeling over Dale's broken body.

"Can we move him?" Rick asked.

"He won't make the trip"

"We gotta do the operation here, Glenn get back to the house!"

"Rick" Hershel shook his head, confirming that there was nothing we could do. Rick started freaking out then, shouting at himself.

Everyone started crying, Andrea had started a long time ago. I couldn't stop shaking, and when I wiped the tears from my face, I must've smeared blood across it, realising my hand was still bleeding. Rick knelt to look at Dale who wasn't dealing with the pain face well. His face was scrunched up and he kept grunting. "He's suffering" Andrea told no one in between sobs. "Do something!"

Rick stood up and pulled out his hand gun. As he pointed it at Dale's head, his face was less sure than his trigger finger. I stood up and placed myself next to him. I slowly took the gun from his grip, and he looked relieved. I pointed the gun at Dale's head when I kneeled down next to him. His eyes were wide open as he stared at me, and he pushed his head up so the gun was touching his forehead. "Thank you for everything, Dale" I wanted the last words for him to hear to be thankful. Then, without hesitating, I pulled the trigger.


	9. Chapter 9

**So here we are, the end of season 2. I can't wait to get to season 3! I'm mainly writing this for myself, because I felt Beth deserved a lot more than what she got. But I'm so glad other people are reading it and actually liking it, so thank you to those who do. Suggestions are appreciated.**

"Dale could get under your skin" Rick started Dale's funeral off with a speech. "He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another" Andrea was sniffling next to me, I put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. "I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us, the truth. Wh we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feelin' sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives. Our safety, our future. We're not broken, we're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. This is how we honor Dale"

The group started to disperse, and Andrea was one of the first to leave. I watched her go, and then I looked at my hands. I couldn't believe I had enough courage to stop Dale's misery and pain. I felt a hand on my shoulder and Beth was standing next to me with Jimmy right behind her. "Hey" She gave me a small smile.

"Hey" I smiled back, giving her a small hug.

"You doin' okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just can't believe I was the one to..." I couldn't think of the right words to use. "...do it"

She gave me a sympathetic smile as she rubbed my arm out of comfort. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" I gave her a small smile as she walked away, nodding at Jimmy as he followed her.

I made my way back to camp, swear began dripping down my face. I buttoned my plaid shirt up to the top so I could look as smart as possible for Dale's funeral but I began regretting it. I undid the first two buttons and rolled up my sleeves.

"That fence isn't going to keep anything out" I told Rick as I stood next to him. He was stood on the outskirts of our camp, examining Hershel's land.

"Lori wanted me to ask Hershel if we can move into the house before last night happened" he laughed once. "Thank you for taking the gun off me" he looked at me.

I nodded. We looked off into the distance together in silence. "I admire you, Rick. I really do. I always looked up to my brother as I grew up, but now I guess it's you. But the decision you made yesterday was wrong, even if you didn't go through with it. Dale was right, this group is falling apart and you gotta fix it"

He started laughing "No pressure, right?" he nudged me with his elbow.

"No pressure" I said through laughs.

I found Carol and Lori taking down clean clothes from the line, when she saw me she took down my grey tee and threw it at me. "I can see the sweat trail you're leaving" Lori started to laughed and I faked a horrified look as I tried not to laugh myself. I started undoing the buttons on my shirt as I looked around at the camp. Rick was talking to Hershel and Beth and Maggie stood behind them. I thought I'd go and say hi.

"What's going on?" I asked Beth and Maggie.

"Looks like we're gonna be living together" Maggie laughed.

I finally undid all the buttons on my shirt and took it off. The breeze caressed my chest like an old lover. I didn't want to put my grey tee on but I didn't want to be rude around the girls so I pulled it over my head. "You really didn't want to put that shirt on, did you?" Beth laughed at me.

I laughed with her "I really didn't, no" I tied my shirt around my waist tight so it wouldn't fall off.

"It'll be tight, 14 people in one house" I heard Rick say.

"Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up-" Hershel was cut off by Maggie.

"With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing the damn dinner bell"

"She's right, we should've move you in a while ago"

"Right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors, facing out toward the road" Rick raised his voice as he ordered the group. "We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight lines both sides of the property"

I began helping Hershel load the truck with our camp's supplies. Tents, chairs, food, everything was going into the back of the truck. We didn't have a lot of stuff so it didn't take long. I grabbed as many backpacks as I could when everything was on the truck as we all made our way towards the house. The backpacks were heavier than I thought they would be, but I didn't want to look weak as I was walking next to Beth so I tried to make it look effortless as possible, even though she wasn't looking my way. She was too busy laughing at something Jimmy had said, and I kicked the jealous me in the gut, reminding myself that she's in love with someone else.

We carried our things into the livingroom and dining room where most of us would be sleeping. Glenn, Rick, Carl and Lori were the lucky one's, they got the V.I.P invitations to sleep upstairs. The rest of us had to cramp together like a new-born cat litter. The men were sleeping in the dining room while the women had the living room. The cushioned carpet in the living room made me sick with envy as I stared at the rock hard flooring in the dining room.

Once everything was settled, Rick and Hershel had us securing the place. They rounded up some spare wood so Jimmy, Beth and I could board up the windows of the house. We worked mainly in silence, them two shared banter every now and again but I didn't make the effort to join. I wasn't feeling all that great and I didn't know why. I just wanted to lay down on the grass forever.

I needed to stop whatever feelings I had for Beth. I won't be able to live under the same roof with Jimmy or Beth if I carry on like this. Every time I see them together, which is nearly all the time, I start to get frustrated. I liked Jimmy and I wanted Beth to be happy, but if the time came, I don't think Jimmy would be able to keep her safe and that really worries me. I looked over at Beth for a reason unknown and her concentration face as she nailed a board to the window made me feel giddy and stupid. She must've sensed I was looking at her because she turned her head and look at me, smiling when she realised I was already staring at her. She had no idea. I suddenly snapped back into reality when Jimmy hit a nail with his hammer between us, he was totally oblivious.

"Adam" I looked behind me and Rick wasn't too far from the house. "We need you"

I immediately stopped what I was doing, joining Rick on his walk to the second barn where Randall was kept. "What's up, sheriff?" I asked him.

"Randall's gone, we're gonna have to investigate"

"Oh shit, how?"

"That's what we're gonna find out"

When we got there, Andrea, T-Dog and Daryl were already looking around. I joined in the frantic search around the barn, there were no inside escape routes and his handcuffs were still intact. This whole situation smell fishy. Someone must've spotting us looking around the barn in a hurry, because everyone rushed down asking us what was going on.

"Cuffs are still hooked, must've slipped them" Rick filled the others in.

"Is that possible?" Carol asked.

"They had blood on them, blood is an easy lubricant" I told her.

"Rick!" Shane shouted suddenly as he emerged from the trees. His face was covered in blood and his nose was clearly broke, he angrily strutted his was over to us. "He's armed! He's got my gun!"

"You okay?" Carl sounded worried.

"I'm fine, little bastard snuck up on me clocked me in the face!"

"Alright, Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, Adam, come with us" Rick was rushing around.

"Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it? To just let him go?" Carol was worrying.

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun" Rick's voice was bursting with rage.

"Don't go out there, y'all know what can happen"

I couldn't let her worry any longer, she was making my heart ache. "We're going to be okay, I promise" I told her in the most gentle voice I could muster. Her eyes got all watery but I couldn't stay to calm her down, so I just kissed her forehead and joined Rick.

"Get everybody back in the house" Rick called behind him as we rushed into the woods. "Lock all the doors, and stay put!"

"I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out. I'm not sure how long" Shane pointed.

"He couldn't have gotten far, he's hobbled, exhausted"

"And armed" Glenn finished Rick's sentence off.

"So are we. Can you track him?" Rick asked Daryl.

"Nah, I don't see nothin'"

"Hey look, there ain't no use in trackin' him, okay? He went that way. We need to pair up. We spread out, we just chase him down, that's it" Shane's words were rushing out of his mouth.

"How did he even get a jump on you, anyway? I'm bigger than him and I wouldn't get many hits in" I was growing even more suspicious with every word that poured out of his mouth.

"I say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?"

"Alright, knock it off" Rick calmed us, he knows how far we can go. "You three start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane'll take the left. And remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other" We went our separate ways, but I looked back for reassurance and Rick nodded at me. I didn't trust Shane.

It got real dark real fast. We were looking for around 20 minutes before we needed a torch just to see where we were going.

"We ain't seein' shit out here" I began to get frustrated.

Daryl stopped, so me and Glenn followed, looking around. The sound of a tree branch made my head dart in the direction so fast that my neck clicked. I think I was just on edge though, and me and Glenn followed Daryl when he carried on.

"Do you guys trust Shane?" the suspicion was festering inside of me and I couldn't bear it.

"He gets the job done" Glenn shrugged.

Daryl didn't answer, he only shushed us and carried on.

After a while, Daryl finally began to speak. "There's two sets of tracks right here" he began to stop as he stared at the floor. "Shane must've followed him a lot longer than he said" He then moved his flashlight towards a nearby tree, examining it. "There's fresh blood on this tree" me and Glenn were looking around for any sign of Randall, something obviously went down right here. "There's more tracks. Looks like they're walking in tandem"

Glenn was looking behind him as he walked, bumping into my shoulder. "Sorry" he whispered, obviously spooked.

"There was a little dust-up right here" He shone the light on the ground, showing messed up leaves and broken twigs.

"What do you mean?" Glenn's voice showed his worry.

"I mean somethin' went down"

Glenn sighed. "This is getting weird"

"Hello trouble" Daryl said when the light found a piece of black material on the floor.

"Randall's blindfold?" I asked them as Glenn picked it up.

The snapping of branches behind us made us all jump and we immediately got behind separate trees. I was breathing hard as I panicked, and I tried to get a glimpse of what had cause it without being seen. I saw someone or something walking around. I pulled out my knife and looked at Daryl, he nodded and threw Glenn a knife. As it got closer, it was clear that it was a walker. We were all ready to pounce when it was right behind us, and we finally jumped from behind our trees. Glenn froze at the wrong possible time, it was standing in front of him about to fill up his stomach. It knocked him to the ground and Daryl tried to take a shot at it, it then went for him. I thought quickly, I tackled it to the ground and it struggled, so I quickly put what was left of Randall out of its misery.

We were all breathing hard, I stood up from the ground next to Daryl and Glenn. "Nice" Daryl patted my shoulder and went on to check Randall's new form.

"Got his neck broke" He said, moving the head around. He proceeded, lifting up his shirt and checking his legs. "Got no bites"

"None you can see" Glenn pointed out.

"Nah, I'm tellin' you, he died from this"

"How is that possible?"

"Shane always finds a way" I frowned. "We have to find Rick. Now"

They didn't object, and we all got up and ran through the woods not caring how dark it was.

Glenn and I were following Daryl back to the farm, and we were breathing hard. I felt like giving up the a gun shot echoed through the trees. We all panicked, running faster.

"I hope that wasn't Shane's gun" I said through heavy breaths.

The second gun shot echoed just as we got back onto the farm, we exchanged confused glances but we only slowed down slightly.

Everybody was gathered around in the living room as they waited for our return, but no sign of Rick or Shane.

"Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl asked them.

"No" Lori was the one to reply.

"We heard a shot"

"Maybe they found Randall"

"We found him"

"Is he back in the shed?" Patricia spoke up.

"He was a walker" Daryl told her bluntly.

"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel asked.

"The weird thing is he wasn't bit" Glenn told them gentler than Daryl would have.

"His neck was broke"

"So he fought back" Patricia still didn't believe us.

"The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him. No, they were together"

Lori didn't seem to care about the topic of discussion, she started to panic. "Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on Earth is going on?"

"You got it" Daryl already started to head out the door. I hastily followed him. Glenn and Andrea followed us out onto the porch as we got ready to go out again.

The distant sound of walkers made us stop in our tracks. Everybody else joined us on the porch as we watched the walkers emerge from the treeline behind the barn. There was too many, just like on the highway when we lost Sophia.

"Patricia, kill the lights" Hershel whispered.

"I'll get the guns" Andrea went back into the house with Patricia.

"Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?" The words came out of Glenn's mouth so fast I barely caught them.

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size would rip the house down" Daryl shared his thoughts.

"Carl's gone" Lori came storming out of the house breathless and in a panic. "He was upstairs, I can't find him anymore"

"Maybe he's hiding" Glenn suggested.

"He's supposed to be upstairs, I'm not leaving without my boy"

"We're not, we're gonna look again, we're gonna find him" Carol sounded a little hysterical, it must have brought up some old memories.

There were so many walkers, I couldn't take my eyes off of what was soon to be my probably demise. "What the hell do we do?"

Andrea came back with them guns, Maggie handed them out.

"I got the number, there's no use" Daryl told them.

"You should go if you want" Hershel suggested.

Daryl scoffed a little. "You gonna take 'em all on?"

"We have guns, we have cars" He said as he reloaded a shotgun.

"Kill as many as we can, and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm" Andrea agreed.

"You serious?" He looked back and forth between Andrea and Hershel.

"This is my farm, I'll die here"

"Alright, it's as good a night as any"

We all parted, getting into different vehicles. Jimmy was in the R.V., Maggie and Glenn were in one car and I was in the truck with Andrea and T-Dog while Daryl was on his motorcycle. We drove around, shooting as many walkers as possible. The barn lit up in flames, but we didn't know why. I was hoping Rick and Shane had turned up. The walkers were going for it, but not enough. I saw Jimmy park the R.V. next to the barn, and what must have been Rick and Carl jump on top of it. I had a brief moment of relief and carried on shooting walkers.

The women were leaving the house, so I ordered T-Dog to take us to them. I got out the car after Andrea, and Beth, Patricia and Lori were running towards us. A walker got hold of Patricia, sinking its teeth into her, and Beth wouldn't let go of her hand. More walkers began devouring Patricia and Beth was screaming. I sprinted towards them, Lori was pulling on Beth's other arm and she successfully got her off Patricia. I grabbed hold of a sobbing Beth and dragged her towards the truck. All of a sudden I heard Carol's cries of panic and my head snapped in the direction it came from. Carol was pinned up against a wall, about 10 walkers surrounding her and I started to panic. Andrea saw my face and said "I got it, you go" I nodded and pulled Beth into the truck, Lori sat next to T-Dog. I sat Beth in the middle and looked out of the window to see how Andrea and Carol were doing. Andrea was killing the surrounding walkers, keeping the attention off Carol. But one looked like it pinned her to the floor. After that, we didn't see much due to a walker banging on the window. Lori started screaming that they got her but I didn't believe her, I couldn't. Then T-Dog began to drive away.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Carol and Andrea are over there!" I shouted at him.

"They're gone, man, we gotta go!" He yelled back.

I couldn't believe what he was saying, but the sobbing girl who now had her arms wrapped around me stopped me from yelling back. I knew we needed to go.

"We gotta turn around" Lori said after a while of driving. Beth was still in my arms as she quietly sobbed into my chest.

"Straight back into that herd? Uh-uh, no" T-Dog replied.

"She's right, we gotta get to the highway" I agreed with Lori.

"Rick will go back to the place where we first broke down, Glenn too"

"We're headed east, get to the coast. We should've done that from the jump. Look, we've got a shot to get out of here in one piece" T-Dog seemed very annoyed.

"I gotta find Carl, he may have escaped with somebody"

"I hate to say it, but they're on their on. There's no way to even begin to start lookin'-"

"You're wrong" Lori cut him off.

"Look, we can't go back. I'm sorry, it's suicide"

"Is it really that easy for you to give up on your friends that fast?" I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"You can let me out then" Lori opened the car door and T-Dog began freaking out. "You turn around, or you let us out right now!"

"I should do it, you know! You're outta your damn minds" He yelled at us as he began to turn around and drive in the other direction.

As we were nearly on the highway, the sound of not-too-distant engines filled the air. Around the corner, a car and a motorcycle came into view and T-Dog sped up. Daryl and Carol were laughing as we was all aside each other as we entered the highway. I could tell who was in the car, Glenn and Maggie were defiantly in there though.

When we finally reached our destination, Rick, Carl and Hershel were already there, grabbing the girl's attentions. We got out of the car and everyone was running to each other and hugging. There was only one person I needed to hug right now and she was standing next to Daryl. Carol must have thought the same as me, because she made her way over to me and we hugged each other so tight neither of us could breathe.

"Where did you find everyone?" Rick as Daryl and me and Carol stopped embracing to listen.

"Well, those guys' tail lights were zigzagging all over the road, figured he had to be Asian drivin' like that"

I laughed out loud and Glenn scoffed, unable to wipe the smile off his face. "Good one"

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked Rick, back down to serious business.

"We're the only ones who made it so far" The sadness in Rick's voice was clear.

"Shane?" Lori asked. Rick shook his head. That was a blow to the group, the cheerful mood was replaced with sadness as we counted our losses.

"Andrea?" Glenn asked next.

"She saved me, then I lost her" Carol told us.

"We saw her go down"

"Patricia?" Hershel asked as he held on to Beth and Maggie.

"They got her too" Beth began to cry again. "Took her right in front of me. I was holdin' onto her, Daddy she just-" She was too upset to finish. "What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?" Fear replaced her sadness as she asked Maggie.

"He was in the R.V. It got overrun" Rick told her. She then began to sob again, clutching onto her father's side.

"You defiantly saw Andrea?" Carol asked again.

"There were walkers everywhere"

"But did you see her?"

"I'm gonna go back" I told the group.

"No" Rick ordered me.

"We can't just leave her"

"We don't even know if she's there"

"She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her" Rick told us bluntly.

"So we're not even gonna look for her?"

"We gotta keep movin'. There have been walkers crawlin' all over here"

"I say head east" T-Dog suggested, filling me with rage over what he was saying in the car.

"Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers" Daryl said as he picked up his crossbow and pointed it at a lone walker not too far away. "More assholes like this one. I got him" He released an arrow into its head and blood splattered the car behind it. It hit the floor with a thud.

Rick suggested once again that we all get in our cars and talk another place, so we did. Carol got on the back of Daryl's motorcycle again. Rick, Lori, Carl and T-Dog were on one car while I joined Hershel, Glenn, Maggie and Beth in the other.

Everything that happened in the last few hours hadn't sunk in yet, and I didn't let them. I couldn't break down while Beth was so fragile. I couldn't let her see that my world is collapsing just like her's is. She grabbed my hand all of a sudden, but she didn't look at me, she just kept her eyes forward as she rested her head on Maggie's shoulder. Maggie looked at me then, giving me a supportive smile. I looked down at our hands and entwined our fingers together, giving her a slight peck on her hand. I didn't do that for romantic reasons, I just wanted to let her know that I'm here for her.

Rick beeped his horn after what felt like forever, signaling us to pull over. We all exited our vehicles to see what was happening. "You out?" Daryl asked him.

"Running on fumes"

"We can't stay here" Maggie told him.

"We can't all fit in one car" Glenn chipped in.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the mornin'"

"Spend the night here?"

"I'm freezing" Carl told him as he shivered in his new big, red hoodie.

"We'll build a fire"

"I'll gather up some firewood" I assured them. "How you doin' on ammo?" I asked Rick.

"Not enough"

"We can't just sit here with our asses hangin' out" Maggie spoke.

"Watch your mouth" Hershel warned her which made me smile. "Everyone stop panicking, listen to Rick"

"Alright, we'll set up a perimeter. In the mornin', we'll find gas and some supplies, we'll keep pushin' on"

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try to scrounge up some gas" Maggie's rifle was at the ready.

"No, we stick together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car"

"Rick, we're stranded now" Glenn's face was full of worry once more.

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure, I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere, there's gotta be a place"

"Rick, look around. There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something"

"There's gotta be a place, not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it"

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that was safe" Maggie seemed weary.

"We won't make that mistake again" I was proud of how much Hershel had seen reason.

"We'll make camp tonight, over there" he pointed to nearby ruins. "Get on the road at the break of day"

"Does this feel right to you?" I heard Carol ask Daryl behind me.

"Yeah, what if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?" Beth stormed up to Rick.

"You know, I found Randall, right? He turned, but he wasn't bit" Daryl informed everybody.

"How's that possible?" Beth voice was sort of monotone.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori demanded.

"Shane killed Randall" I was sure of it.

"And then the herd got him?"

Rick took a while to himself as he looked around the group. "We're all infected"

"What?" the news didn't seem to sink in for anybody.

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it" I looked around, and Maggie was looked back at me. Her face was just as confused as mine.

"And you never said anything?" Carol was frustrated with Rick.

"Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?" It was Glenn turn to be angry.

"How could I have known for sure? You sure how crazy that mo-"

"That is not your call" Glenn cut him off. "Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone"

"Well I thought it best that people didn't know"

"You let Beth nearly died knowing what would happen after?" I was furious with him.

"I said I didn't know for sure"

"But you still had the idea in the back of your head, and you still let it happen!"

Carol put a hand on my chest, signaling me to calm down. Rick walked away with that, leaving us all to our thoughts. I didn't want to think, though, I wanted to do something practical. I got my axe from the boot of the car and went to where Rick had told us to camp. Everyone followed me, and I stood directly in the middle of the ruins. "We'll set up a fire here, I'm gonna go and get some firewood before it gets dark" I saw Carol was about to protest, but I stopped her worrying. "I won't go too far"

"I'm comin'" Beth caught up to me just as I got to the tree line.

"No, you're not" I told her.

"You could use someone watching your back" She held her hand out for my hand gun.

I stared at the eyes that always drew me in. "We can't use guns" I handed her my knife.

In silence, we walked on. I kept my promise to Carol, we didn't stray too far as we picked up as many logs as we could carry. It was already getting dark as we were walking back, and I started to worry the colder it got.

Everybody huddled around the fire together, it was one of the coldest nights we've had so far. I was lucky I tied my shirt around my waist before all this happened and I happily wrapped it around me. I was sat next to Beth who was cuddled up to her father. Glenn and Maggie were close by, too, holding hands. "We're not safe with him. Keeping somethin' like that from us. Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down" Carol whispered to Daryl through the silence of the night.

"No, Rick's done alright by me" He replied.

"You're his henchman, and I'm a burden. You deserve better"

"What do you want?" He demanded.

"A man of honor"

"Rick has honor"

Their conversation had everyone doubting, not long after Maggie spoke to Glenn. "I think we should take our chances"

"Don't be foolish. There's no fuel, no ammo" Hershel scorned her.

A nearby noise spooked the group out of their smaller worries. "What was that?" Beth asked.

"Could be anythin'" Daryl said as he stood up. I followed. "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum"

"Walker" Glenn's worry voice was back.

"We need to leave. I mean, what are we waiting for?" Carol was panicking again.

"It came from over there" Maggie told the group.

"Back from where we came" Beth told me. I was sick of the group constantly worrying, so I decided to go off in the direction it came from.

Rick stopped me. "The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles, no one's traveling on foot"

"Don't panic" I presumed Hershel was talking to Beth or Maggie behind me.

"I'm not" Maggie told him, I had presumed right. "I'm not sittin' here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move. Now" Maggie's voice was laced with panic.

"No one is goin' anywhere"

"Do something" Carol pleaded.

"I am doin' somethin'" Rick was furious and irrational. "I'm keepin' this group together, alive. I've been doin' that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this!" His voice was an angry whisper. "I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake! You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, lead me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me" Carl had begun sobbing in his mother's arms. "My hands are clean" I think he was trying to convince himself more than convince us. "Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm foolin' myself again. Why don't you go and find out for yourself? Send me a postcard" We left him to rant, no one retaliated. "Go on, there's the door. You can do better, let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight, you're stayin'. This isn't a democracy anymore" He didn't say anything else after that, he only stared at us and then walked off into the darkness to process everything that was just said.

The intensity was lingering above the group, and everybody just stood there for a minute unsure of what to do or say. "We should probably get some rest while we still can" No one protested, they all lay down together by the fire. Beth and Hershel lay next to each other while Glenn and Maggie lay in each other's arms next to them. Beth was shivering, and I immediately regretted pulling my shirt over her to cover her. I didn't mind though, because I'd rather her be warm than myself. I then lay down and rested my arm on my forehead, trying not to thing of everything that's happened. The blinding screeches might be better than this, so I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into a painful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Somehow, we all survived winter. It had been 7 months since we escaped the herd on Hershel's farm and we had gone in circles trying to survive. Now, we were onto our hundredth house to scavenge and T-Dog, Rick, Daryl and Carl were clearing out the house of lone walkers. Carl had become pretty useful over the months. We taught him how to shoot and took him out on quiet supply runs and he always proved himself useful. The rest of us waited outside, and we entered when Carl came and opened the door for us. I noticed Daryl came downstairs as he plucked what looked like an owl, at least we had some meat tonight. I helped Glenn move the walker bodies into the hall so we could rest in the living area tonight. We all sat down in the living area and assessed what we had. Maggie and Glenn shared their food, along with Hershel and Beth. Hershel and Beth didn't have anything for tonight, so I opened a granola bar I had saved and split it three ways, giving Hershel and Beth a piece. It was good to know that something was actually going into my stomach, but it did nothing for the ache. Carl came in with two cans in his hands. He rushed to get them open, sitting down and getting a can opener out from his bag. I realised they were cans of dog food, and me and Beth exchanged worried glances. The sound of Carl opening the can made Rick turn around and see what his son was bringing to the table. As he kneeled down in front of him, he realised what the can contained. He angrily snatched it out of Carl's hands and threw it up against the wall, making everyone stop what they were doing, including Daryl who was still plucking the owl.

The sound of T-Dog's "Pst" made us all snap out of it, there were already walkers outside. I grabbed my backpack and helped Beth up, and we all ran out of the back door. Luckily our vehicles were parked right outside the house, so we got inside them and drove off. I never got to drive, I never learnt in the real world but it shouldn't be too hard now, since there were no other cars.

We stopped about a mile down the road, we had to figure out where to go next. Maggie unraveled a map on the bonnet of the SUV and we gathered around. "We got no place left to go" T-Dog worried.

"When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off. We'll never make it south" Maggie warned.

"What would you say? That was about 150 head?" Daryl asked.

"That was last week, could be twice that by now" Glenn told him.

"This river could have delayed them. If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there" Hershel pointed at the map.

"Yeah, bit if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way" T-Dog was also point at the map.

"So we're blocked"

"Only thing to do is double back at 27 and swing towards Greenville" Rick joined.

"Yeah, we picked through that already. It's like we spent the winter goin' in circles"

"That's because we did" I told T-Dog.

"At Newnan, we'll push west, we haven't been through there yet. We can't keep goin' house to house. We need to find a place to hole up for a few weeks" Rick said as he looked at a now heavily pregnant Lori.

"Alright, we gotta fill up on water first, won't take long"

I headed over to Beth who was looking professional as she kept lookout. "You better go and give your water bottle to T-Dog" I told her.

"Hey, girly, we're goin' huntin'. You comin' or what?" Daryl raised his voice as he looked at me and Beth.

"What?" Beth's face was full of confusion.

I frowned and looked down at my boots. "He's talkin' to me" she laughed. "I'll catch you later" I gave her a little wave and followed Rick and Daryl into the woods.

After walking for a while, we found an old train track as we kept an eye out for potential food. We followed to train track so it would be easier to get back to the group. I didn't think it was the best idea to follow it after I slipped on the metal and landed on my ass, but I followed it anyway even after Daryl's hysterical laughter. After a few minutes, there was an opening to our right revealing what looked like a prison. The place was a fortress, the yard was the size of a football pitch and it had watch towers left, right and centre. The only problem was that it was covered with walkers. "That's a shame" Daryl said as we admired the view.

"It's got potential" I said as I looked at Rick. He looked like he was thinking hard.

We went back and told the others who seemed pretty excited at the thought of having somewhere to sleep with both eyes closed. We had nothing to lose right now.

We went down to the prison, taking the others, and took out the few walkers that were outside the gate. Rick cut part of the fence so we could slip through the first fence. The walkers in the yard got agitated on our arrival, slamming themselves up against the fence between us. We jogged down the first fence, leading us to the entrance to the yard. The gate had to be manually pulled back so we could enter. We all stood there to scope it out. "It's perfect" Rick said quietly to himself as he admired the prison. "If we can shut that gate, prevent more from fillin' the yard, we can pick out these walkers. We'll take the field by the night"

"So how do we shut the gate?" Hershel seemed unsure.

"I'll do it. You guys cover me" Glenn squinted in the sun.

"No, it's a suicide run" Maggie told him.

"I'm the fastest"

"You sure about that?" I smirked at him. "I'd be happy to do it"

"No. Glenn, Maggie, and Beth draw as many as you can over there" he pointed to the side of the fence "pop 'em through the fence. Daryl, Adam, go back to the other tower. Carol" his voice became gentle "you've become a pretty good shot, take your time, we don't have a lot of ammo to waste. Hershel, you and Carl take this tower" he pointed up to the tower next to them. "I'll run for the gate" I heard him quietly say before Daryl, Carol, and I jogged to the tower on the other side of the yard. We ran up the stairs inside the tower, reaching the top pretty fast. I pulled out my hunting rifle. It was a good shot, but I wished it was a sniper now. "Bet you wished your trademark weapon wasn't a crossbow right now, huh?"

Daryl laughed once "You're gonna be wishin' my foot wasn't up your skinny ass soon, boy"

I was taking down walker after walker. Any that were getting close to Rick as he made his way to the other gate, and any that weren't. They all needed to go either way.

"Sorry" Carol called down next to me.

"Did you just nearly shoot Rick?" I asked her nonchalantly.

"Yep" I laughed at her and carried on shooting.

Rick got to the gate and clamped it shut, but the walkers started to ignore Beth, Glenn and Maggie and go for Rick instead. He was pinned up against the gate, so we started shooting at the surrounding walkers trying not to hit Rick. Luckily the door right next to him lead into another tower, he got in and went straight up. I shot the ones that were trying to follow him who were banging on the door. "Light it up!" Daryl yelled to the others.

"Hell yeah, this is what I'm talkin' about!" I got a little too excited feeling like I was in a video game.

The bullets were flying, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one having a good time. It felt satisfactory for some reason. I saw one walker fall over another one, and as it got up, I felt the need to put it back down. I aimed for its head, but before I knew it, an arrow had already sent it back to the floor. "Asshole, you stole my kill" I spat at Daryl.

"Snooze you lose, brother"

Before I knew it, there was finally one left. Me and Daryl looked at each other and rushed our scope to our eyes, but Rick beat us to it.

I looked to Carol and she had a big smile on her face and it was infectious. We high-fived and made our way to the others. "Fantastic!" Carol burst out when we all got together, making our way into the yard.

"Nice shootin'"

"You okay?" Carol asked Lori as we passed her.

"Haven't felt this good in weeks" She laughed.

When we entered the yard, a sense of accomplishment fell over the whole group and it felt great. Something good finally happened.

"We haven't had this much space since we left the farm!" Carol excitedly ran around our new land.

We got a fire going pretty quick, and we all sat round it together. Daryl was standing on top of the bus that was outside the front gate keeping watch. Daryl had been hunting, so we had some meat on the go. Maggie was the one to cook today, and she was good. "Mmm, just like mom used to make" Glenn grunted with satisfaction.

Rick was scouting the perimeter. That guy never rested. "Tomorrow, we'll pull all the bodies together. Want to keep them away from that water. Now, if we can dig a canal under the fence, we'll have plenty of fresh water" T-Dog expressed his thoughts.

"The soil is good. We could plant some seed. Grow some tomatoes, cucumbers, soybeans" I was great to hear the hope in Hershel's voice. It was the first real piece of hope any of us had felt since Hershel's farm. "That's his third time around" Hershel pointed out, talking about Rick. "If there was any part of it compromised, he'd have found it by now"

"This will be a good place to have a baby" Beth excitedly told Lori, changing the subject. "Safe"

We sat in silence for a while, staring at the fire. Maggie and Glenn were laughing together as they cuddled, but I didn't mind. The feeling of home was overwhelming but I embraced it with open arms. "Bethy" Hershel broke the silence "sing Paddy Reilly for me. I haven't heard that, I think, since your mother was alive"

"Daddy, not that one please" Maggie gently suggested.

He thought for a moment. "How about Partin' Glass?" he asked Beth.

"No one wants to hear" she worried.

"Shoot, Pidge" I gave her a supportive smile.

"Okay" Worry still covered her face. Then she began singing. Her voice was so angelic, I couldn't stop looking at her. My mom used to sing this song to me every night when I was a child and my heart ached every time I thought of it. But my heart ached for different reasons as I was listening to it now. Maggie joined in singing, but I didn't see her. All I saw was Beth, it was like a beam of light shone through the clouds and onto her. Before I knew it, she was finished and I was a little saddened by it. "Beautiful" Hershel smiled.

"We better all turn in, I'll take watch over there. We got a big day tomorrow" Rick commanded.

"What do you mean?" Carl asked, his voice had lowered over the past few months.

"Look, I know we're all exhausted, this was a great win. But we gotta push just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners. Looks like this place fell pretty early. It could mean the supplies may be intact. They'd have an infirmary, a commissary"

"An armory?" Daryl was intrigued.

"That'd be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's offices would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine. This place could be a goldmine"

"We're dangerously low on ammo. We'll run out before we make a dent" Hershel reminded him.

"That's why we have to go in there. Hand to hand. After all we've been through, we can handle it. I know it"

"Fuckers won't know what's hit 'em" that earned me a few laughs, including Rick. He then got up to do his perimeter check again, with Lori following him.

Everyone lay down next to the fire, then, preparing for a good nights sleep. Everyone except for me. I didn't want a night terror to ruin my mood. I must've been looking into the fire for a while, because Daryl's and Hershel's snores echoed through our little camp. I noticed Beth was wriggling as she hugged herself tight, so I got up and took off my shirt, wearing my grey tee underneath it. I covered her in it, and she turned around to face me just as I was about to go back to my place by the fire. "Thought you might be cold" I gave her a small smile.

"What about you?" She asked as she hugged my shirt closer to her.

"Don't worry about me" I told her as I took a seat next to her.

She looked at me for a long time and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Come here" she lifted the shirt up, telling me to get under with her.

My eyes shot straight up to Hershel, but he was asleep. I looked back down to a now smiling Beth. I got under and wrapped my arm around her waist before she changed her mind. I put my arm out so she could rest her head on it. Our noses were touching, we were so close. Her body heat was overwhelming, and I was way too aware of my hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer. I could feel her small breathes on my lips. All I had to do was edge a little closer, and my lips would be on hers. But I didn't. I didn't want to ruin my chances of having this again. "Goodnight, Adam" she said, pulling me out of my thoughts. She kissed my cheek and turned over. I now edged closer so our bodies were flat against each other. The hand that I had wrapped around her rested on the grass just in front of her. But she grabbed it and entwined our fingers together. My palms were sweaty but she didn't seem to mind. I was the happiest I'd ever been, because I was holding Beth Greene and she was holding me back. I felt her body relax against me and her breathing evened out, she had fell asleep. I didn't plan on sleeping tonight but in this position, my eyelids were getting heavy and I wasn't planning on moving any time soon. And before I knew it, I was out cold.

Opening my eyes and seeing blonde hair in my face was a very good feeling. I slightly lifted my head to make sure it was her, and her breathing was still even, her hand was still loosely wrapped around mine. Then I realised I didn't wake up screaming, and my ears weren't ringing from the screech. I frowned as I stared at her. I like this girl so much that she literally cured my night terrors. I quietly laughed once out of astonishment. She started to stir in my arms, and her eyes were suddenly on mine. "Hey" I smiled down at her.

"Hey" She laughed as she hid her face.

"Adam" Rick snapped me out of the weird trance I was in. "Get ready, we're goin' in soon"

I looked down at Beth, pulled a funny face and let go of her and got up. Where she was pressed up against my body all night was cold and begging me to cuddle her again. She offered me my shirt again but I told her to keep it as it might get messy anyway. I picked up my hunting rifle and hung it off my back and put my knives in my holster. When we were all ready, we walked up to the gate and Rick swung it open. I pulled out my knife and stuck it into the closest walker's head, causing blood to splatter everywhere as it dropped to the floor. We didn't spread out too much, keeping close together we took our the walkers that crowded us. My adrenaline was pumping, and I was sticking my knife in every walker I set sight on. Suddenly, a walker was too my right but I would've been too slow to get it, I froze. I was covered in blood when I realised it had dropped to the floor. I looked down and an arrow was in the back of its head. "You can thank me later" Daryl told me and he pulled the arrow out and we carried on. T-Dog had found a riot shield, and I was pretty jealous about the amount of damage you could do with that thing. It got quiet real fast, the were no walkers left. Rick checked a nearby door, and when no walkers jumped out of it we carried on around the corner. There was another fence opening that was filled to the brim with walkers. We hid behind the wall as fast as we could, hoping they didn't spot us. Four walkers came from around the corner, but they were dressed in armoured riot gear. Daryl shot at one with his crossbow but the arrow just bounced off the helmet. They got close so we had to attack, the walkers that were packed together around the corner finally caught sight of us. We were struggling. My knife only left scratches on this thing's helmet, and everyone else was having the same problem. Rick fought his way to the gate, successfully closing it to stop more walkers from coming out. The riot walker pushed his whole body weight onto me, pinning me to the floor. My free hand pushed its head away from my face, and I suddenly saw an opening. I stuck my knife into its neck and felt it go up into its brain. I pushed the dead weight aside and got up, wiping blood from my face with my forearm. Glenn and T-Dog watched me, and proceeded to do the same with their walker.

Once we were finished, we were about to let the rest of our people in when Rick ordered "Stop"

"What? It looks secure" Glenn screwed up his face.

"Not from the look of that courtyard over there" Daryl pointed.

"And that ain't no prisoner" I pointed to a walker woman who was in a dress on the floor.

"So the interior could be overrun by walkers from outside the prison" T-Dog thought out loud.

"What if there's walls down? What are we gonna do? We can't rebuild this whole place"

"We can't risk a blind spot. We have to push in" Rick made his way through a nearby door and Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, T-Dog and I followed.

It was dark inside, not too dark to not see anything but the creepy kind of dark. There was a small guard tower directly in front of us and to our right was a cell block. There were tables and chairs in the middle of the room and the floor was dirty as hell. We split up to see if the room was secure, and I had my rifle at the ready. I looked at Rick and he pointed towards the guard tower, and he slowly went up the stairs trying to make as little noise as possible. The guard turned out to be really dead, and he brought a set of keys down.

He unlocked the cell block and we got our weapons to the ready. We checked every cell, making sure nothing jumped out at us. There were bodies, as if the guards shot them down. As Rick and Daryl were checking the upstairs cells, a loud bang followed by the screaming of a walker occurred. I looked up and there were two in separate cells trying to get to Daryl and Rick, unaware there was a cell door between them. They put them down and pulled them out of their cells.

They threw them down to us and the bodies hit the floor with a loud thud and quiet crunch. Maggie and Glenn had come back from getting the others and brought them into the cell block. "What do you think?" Rick asked them as they entered. T-Dog had the shitty job of dragging the bodies outside of the cell block.

"Home sweet home" Glenn said sarcastically.

"For the time being" Rick said. The others were taking in the room.

"Is it secure?" Carol asked.

"This cell block is"

"What about the rest of the prison?" Hershel piped up.

"In the mornin', we'll find the cafeteria and infirmary"

"We'll sleep in the cells?" Beth quietly asked.

"I found keys on some guards. Daryl has a set, too"

"I ain't sleepin' in no cage. I'll take the perch" Daryl grunted.

Everyone went off to pick a cell. I picked the one next to Glenn, I didn't know who picked the one next to me, but I planned on finding out, hoping it wasn't Hershel because of his snoring. I put down my backpack and weapons and made my way next door where I found Beth and Carl. "It's actually pretty comfortable" She told him.

He was checking out the top bunk, and he jumped when I said "You got a cell?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Just making sure Beth was safe" He said nervously and ran out of the cell.

"He's crushing hard"

She laughed at me and whispered "stop"

I could've told her that I was too, but I didn't. "I'm next door if you need me"

I made my way back inside my new cell and admired my new bed. I hadn't had a bed for a long time. I threw my shoes and pants off and lay down. I wasn't used to comfort anymore, it was weird but welcomed. I pulled my blanket up and lay on my stomach as I hugged my pillows. I let out a sigh of relief and let myself drift off.

_"So you're not even going to take me on a real date?" She scoffed at me as she sat on the edge of my bed._

_"Did you expect a candlelit dinner?" I laughed at her._

_"Why not? It's a lot more romantic than this" She took her shoes off and made herself comfortable on my bed._

_We decided on the first Harry Potter, so I put the DVD in and lay down next to her. She rested her head on my chest as I played with her hair._

_After about 20 minutes, her hand was traveling up and down my stomach and it was driving me crazy. "Please stop" I grabbed her hand, feeling the familiar swelling in my pants._

_She smiled mischievously in reply and carried on, lifting my shirt up this time. Her hand got lower and lower, I grabbed it again, but this time I kissed her hard. I pinned her against the bed with my pelvis, my hands traveling all over her body as we greedily made out. She lifted my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor. I undid the buttons on her blouse, revealing a plain black bra. I kissed her neck as I undid her pants, dragging them off. Her hand traveled down my boxers and I groaned out of pleasure. "Adam"_

_"Yeah" I said as I began kissing her breasts._

_"I love you"_

I shot right up, nearly hitting my head off the top bunk. "Shit" I whispered to myself, rubbing my face. Beth obviously hadn't 'cured' my night terrors. If anything, they're worse. I lay back down, staring at the material on the mattress above me. I couldn't believe I'd just dreamt that. I rolled onto my side as I let the emptiness take over.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry it's took longer than usual to upload this chapter, but Orange is the new black season 3 came out and then I went through the emotional trauma of the end of season 5 of Game of Thrones, so it's been a busy/emotional week. Here's chapter 11, though. Enjoy.**

"Not bad" Daryl admired our findings.

"Flashbangs, CS Triple-Chasers. Not sure how they're work on walkers but we'll take 'em" Rick thought out loud.

We hadn't been exploring the prison yet, but so far we found some batons, pistols, rifles, flashlights and also the riot gear we took from the walker corpses outside. Daryl held up one of the helmets that had slimy stuff dripping from it, disgust covering his face. "I ain't wearin' this shit"

"We could boil 'em" T-Dog suggested.

"Ain't enough firewood in the whole forest. No, besides, we made it this far without 'em, right?" Daryl was swinging around a baton.

"Hershel" Carol signaled for him to join her in her and Lori's cell.

"Everything all right?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about" she smiled slightly and her and Hershel left.

"You gotta quit bein' a pussy, it's just a bit of slimy shit and we could do with the extra protection" I said to Daryl once Hershel and Carol were gone.

"Don't come cryin' to me when that shits glued to your pretty face"

"You think I'm pretty?" I feigned a shocked expression.

"Shut up" he grunted.

I hauled the riot vest over my head and rested it on my shoulders, tying it by the sides after. It was pretty heavy, I knew it was going to kill my shoulders later. I put one of the new pistols in the vest, along with a couple of flashbangs and my knives and a flashlight. I wasn't leaving without my hunting rifle, either. I swung it over my shoulder and joined the others. Daryl wasn't wearing any of the new gear, just as I suspected.

"Let's go" Rick commanded, leading the pack out of the cell. Glenn, Daryl, Hershel, T-Dog, Maggie and I followed up. I heard the cell creak and shut behind me as we opened a nearby cell door and walked further into darkness. I pulled out my pistol and flashlight and expected for anything to jump out at me.

We were all nervous, the anticipation made me sweat bullets. As we walked down the hall, there were no groans, just the sound of dripping water and our footsteps. I wasn't sure where we were, when we turned around a corner there were rotting corpses on the floor outside of what looked like a cell. Blood splattered the floor and the walls and I felt like I was in a horror movie. If I was, I'd probably be the first to die. The sound of Glenn spraying an arrow on the wall in the direction we just came from made me jump.

We kept going around corners, lucky Glenn was keeping track because at this point I would literally end up anywhere. Suddenly, a thud came from around another corner nearby and we all crept towards it. We all peeked behind the wall and the walkers were on us right away. There could've been 10 or there could've been 50, we didn't stick around to find out. We ran back in the direction we came from, following Glenn's arrows. They were coming from all different directions on the way back and I couldn't tell if we were going the right way or not. Glenn and Maggie got cut off behind me and Glenn led them both through a door to the left and slammed it shut. I didn't have time to worry, walkers were on my ass.

Glenn and Maggie must've drew the attention of the walkers, none were following us anymore. We managed to take a breather to figure out what to do. "Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Rick looked to everyone.

"They got cut off, they made it through a door" I whispered.

"We have to go back" Hershel demanded.

"Which way?" Daryl asked me.

I was responsible, now. I had to lead everyone to the right place or we were all dead. I walked back towards the hallway where we lost Glenn and Maggie. Hershel was whispering Maggie's name over and over. Suddenly, he wasn't following anymore, he went down a different hallway so we rushed back to join him. As he stepped over a walker, it grabbed his leg and bit a chunk out of it, ripping out his ligaments. He fell forward as he screamed in pain and Rick shot the walker in the head. Glenn and Maggie ran around the corner and Maggie screamed out in horror at the sight of her father. Rick and Glenn picked up Hershel by putting his arms around their necks just as more walkers emerged from around the corner. Daryl started shooting his crossbow to save time and I did the same with my pistol. We went back the other way to find another herd of walkers gunning for us. We turned around and went through a hallway we hadn't been through before with the walkers right behind us. We stopped at some double doors that were locked with a padlock and T-Dog cut the thing off with a pair of pliers and we ran in setting Hershel on the floor. Me and Daryl shut the doors behind us and held them shut. The force of the walkers on the other side nearly pushed me over but I held my ground. T-Dog stuck the pair of pliers between the door handles to prevent them from opening it.

Rick rolled up Hershel's pants and revealed a gaping hole in his leg that was pouring of blood. He was crying out it pain and Rick unbuckled his belt. Wrapping it around just above his knee, Rick grabbed his hatchet "there's only one way to keep him alive" he told the group just before he brought it down on Hershel's leg, splitting it open. He was hacking away, trying to get the leg off, over and over with the hatchet. Hershel lost consciousness before he finished, and one last blow separated Hershel's leg from the rest of his body. "He's bleedin' out" Rick was right, there was a puddle of blood underneath Hershel. I heard Daryl quietly say "Duck" to Rick, who did as he was told. And then he stood up and pointed his crossbow across the room. We all looked and there were 5 men in prison jumpsuits standing behind the caged window of the cafeteria I realised we were in. "Holy shit" I heard one of them say.

The 5 men stood there staring at us. I got up and pointed my pistol at them, Daryl got closer, not moving his crossbow an inch. "Who the hell are you?" Daryl demanded.

"Who the hell are you?" One of them mimicked him.

"He's bleedin' out, we gotta go back. Come around here, put pressure on the knee. Hard, hard! Push!" Rick was yelling orders to the others behind me, but me and Daryl were concentrated on the men in front of us.

"Come on outta there, slow and stead" Daryl ordered. They walked around to the open door to their left and slowly emerged.

"What happened to him?" The hispanic guy with the long, dark hair asked us.

"He got bit" Daryl told them.

"Bit?" One of them asked, I didn't see who, I was too concentrated on the gun the hispanic guy was pulling out of his pants.

"Woah, easy now" Daryl tried to calm him down. He was pointing his gun at both me and Daryl. "Nobody needs to get hurt"

"Do you have medical supplies?" Glenn asked them as he walked past them and went into the room they came out of, not noticing or not caring about the gun this guy had.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" The big guy asked him.

Walkers were banging on the door. "Who the hell are you people, anyway?" The hispanic guy didn't move his gun from my chest ask he asked.

"Don't look like no rescue team" The scrawny guy with the heavy southern accent told his people.

Glenn came back out with a table with wheels and the others lifted Hershel and put him on it. "Get the door!" Rick shouted.

"Are you crazy?! Don't open that!" The small guy warned them.

"We can handle this"

T-Dog removed the pliers and a lone walker in riot gear came in, he killed it in seconds and everybody made their way out except the 5 men. Me and Daryl were last, not resting our trigger fingers. "Let's go" I quietly said to him and we dropped our weapons and caught up to the others.

There weren't too many walkers around, and we were making our way back quietly. Daryl stopped us, though, pointing at shadows on the walls behind us. The shadows belonged to people instead of walkers, though. They emerged around the corner, the hispanic guy still pointing his gun at us. "Go" Rick whispered. We got to the cell block and Rick shouted for Carl to open the door. I heard Beth scream at the sight of Hershel, and we pushed him inside to his cell. "He got bit" Rick explained.

"Oh my god, he's gonna turn!" Beth panicked.

"Did you cut it off?" Lori asked in a hurry.

"Yeah" he replied quietly.

"Maybe you got it in time"

"Ready?" Rick asked me. I held onto his hips and Rick had his shoulders. We hauled him onto the bed, and Carol went straight to the leg that is now a stump.

"Oh god, we need bandages"

"We used everything we had" Glenn informed her.

"Well get more. Anything"

"Carl, go get the towels from the back, right next to my bed" Lori told her son.

"Is he gonna die?" Beth quietly asked Lori, who put her hands on each side of her head to comfort her.

"No, no. He's gonna be okay" she pulled her into a hug and Beth started to sob. "He's gonna be okay" I put my hand on the small of Beth's back, moving it around in circles to keep her calm.

"You think you can stabilize him?" Rick asked Carol.

"I need to keep his leg elevated. Get some pillows!"

"He's already bled through the sheets" Maggie's face was scrunched up.

"We can burn the wound to clot the blood. I can start a fire" Glenn told them.

"No, please don't do this" Beth panicked.

"No, the shock could kill him. It's not gonna stop the arteries from bleeding. We need to just keep it dressed and let it heal on its own" Carol was dressing it now, elevating it with the pillows that Carl had brought back.

Suddenly, we could hear yelling coming from outside the cell block. "What was that?" Beth tensed up.

"Prisoners, survivors" Rick told them. They started panicking but Rick cut them off "it's alright, everybody stay put" and then he left with me following him. I drew my pistol and shut the cell block door behind me with Carl locking it.

Daryl had his crossbow pointed at the hispanic guy along with T-Dog. The guy's gun was pointed at T-Dog's head. They were yelling at each other and Rick stopped it. "Hey, everyone relax, there's no need for this"

He looked nervous as he spoke. "How many of you are in there?"

"Too many for you to handle" Rick warned him.

He looked at us all then. "You guys rob a bank or somethin'? Why don't you take him to a hospital?"

We all looked at each other, wondering how to play this out. "How long you been locked in that cafeteria?" Rick asked him.

"Goin' on like, 10 months" the muscle in his arm was tensing up.

"A riot broke out" the big guy spoke "never seen anything like it"

"Attica on speed, man" I didn't understand much of what the dude with the moustache was saying with his heavy Southern accent.

"Ever heard about dudes going cannibal, dying, coming back to life? Crazy" the little guy spoke with disbelief.

"One guard looked out for us, locked us up in the cafeteria. Told us to sit tight, threw me this piece, said he'd be right back"

"Yeah, and that was 292 days ago" the other big guy informed us.

"94 according to my calcula-"

"Shut up!" the hispanic guy cut off the southern guy.

"We been thinking the army or the national guard should be showing up any day now"

"There is no army" Rick let them know.

"What do you mean?"

"There's no government, no hospitals, no police. It's all gone"

"For real?"

"I'm serious"

They fell silent, they were thinking. The disappointment and disbelief washed over them, and I had them same feelings all over again. "What about my moms?" the big guy looked at the ground.

"And my kids? And my old lady?" the other big guy was frowning at us. "Yo, you got a cell phone or something that we can call our families?"

"You just don't get it, do you?" Daryl was getting annoyed.

"No phones, no computers. As far as we can see at least half of the population has been wiped out" Rick told them bluntly. The hispanic guy started to lower his gun, worry took over his face as his eyes were on the ground. "Probably more"

"Ain't no way" he snapped out of his trance, but didn't raise his gun again.

"Why don't you take a look?" I told them, I hadn't raised my gun, either. I figured two were enough.

When we took them outside, they shielded their eyes from the burning sun. "Damn the sun feels good" one of them said. They haven't been outside in nearly a year, I bet it felt good.

"Good lord, they're all dead" the southerner looked around at the bodies we left outside.

"Never thought I'd be so happy to see these fences" the hispanic guy said as they looked onwards.

"You never said - how the hell did you get in here in the first place?" The little guy asked.

"Cut a hole in that fence over there by that guard tower" Daryl pointed across the yard.

"That easy, huh?"

"It ain't like you got snipers aiming for your head" I was amused by how unexperienced they were in this new world.

"So, what is this, like, a disease?" the big guy asked Rick.

"Yeah, but we're all infected" he informed him.

"What do you mean infected? Like AIDS or somethin'?" the Southerner asked.

"If I was to kill you, shoot an arrow in your chest, you'd come back as one of these things" Daryl pointed to a body by their feet. "It's gonna happen to all of us"

"Ain't no way Robinhood casts responsible for killin' all these freaks" the hispanic guy doubted.

"Must be 50 bodies out here"

"Where'd you come from?" he wondered.

"Atlanta" Rick told him.

"Where you headed?"

"For now, no where"

"I guess you can take that area down there near the water. Should be comfortable"

"We're using that field for crops"

"We'll help you move your gear out" the guys said way too fast.

"That won't be necessary. We took out these walkers, this prison is ours" I could feel the tension grow more and more with every word being said.

"Slow down, cowboy"

"You snatched the locks off our doors" the little guy got closer to Rick, standing next to the hispanic guy.

"We'll give you new locks, if that's how you want it"

"This is our prison, we were here first" the hispanic guy smiled.

"Locked in a broom closet?" Rick wiped the smile off his face. "We took it, set you free. It's ours. We spilled blood" they were both getting pretty angry at this point.

"We're movin' back into our cell block"

"You'll have to get your own"

"It is mine. I still got personal artifacts in there, that's about as mine as it gets" he took out his gun again and I pull mine out and pointed it at him.

"Woah, maybe let's try to make this work out so everybody wins" the Southerner tried to make peace as he got in between the hispanic and Rick.

"I don't see that happening"

"Neither do I" Rick agreed.

"I ain't going back in that cafeteria for one more minute" his face was threatening.

"There are other cell blocks" the Southerner told him.

"There are other countries, too" I told him over my pistol.

He kept looked at me and Rick, he looked worried. "These four pussies can do all this, the least we can do is take out another cell block" he told his men.

"With what?" The big guy asked.

"Atlanta here will spot us some real weapons. Won't you, boss?"

Rick thought for a second. "How stocked is that cafeteria? It must have plenty of food. Five guys lasting almost a year?"

"It sure as hell don't look like anybody's been starving" the big guy gave Daryl a dirty look.

"There's only a little left"

"We'll take half" Rick told him. "In exchange, we'll help clear out a cell block"

"Didn't you hear him? There's only a little left" the small guy had a temper.

"Bet you got more food than you do choices. You pay, we'll play. We'll clear out a block for you, then you keep to it"

The hispanic guy was thinking, but I didn't know what about because he didn't have much choice. "Alright"

"Well, let's be clear" Rick got in his face as he spoke "If we see you out here anywhere near our people, if I so much as even catch a whiff of your scent, I will kill you"

"Deal" he spat back at him.

"Pantrys back here" They brought us back to the cafeteria so we could collect our share of the food.

"You never tried to break out of here?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, we tried to take the doors off. But if you make one peep in here, then those freaks'll be lined up outside the door growling, trying to get in. Windows got bars on there that he-man couldn't get through"

"Bigger than a 5x8" the Southerner thought out loud.

"You won't find me complaining. Doing 15. My left leg can barely fit on one of those bunks" the big guys said.

"Yeah, they don't call him Big Tiny for nothing" It was weird to finally know at least one of their names.

"You done jerking each other off? Sick of waiting back here" the hispanic guy waited in the doorway.

I saw Rick's hand move towards his gun as we followed him to the food.

"This is what you call a little bit of food?" Daryl asked.

"It goes fast. You can have a bag of corn, some tuna fish" There were boxes, jars, cans, all full. I felt like I was in heaven.

"We said half. That's the deal" Rick demanded. He turned around and looked at a door behind him "What's in there?"

"Don't open that" Big Tiny warned him a little too late, Rick slammed the door shut, choking on the air that just filled his lungs.

The guys started laughing. "You wanted to know"

"I can't wait for my own pot to piss in"

Me and Rick picked up as much as we could carry to take back to our cell block, leaving Daryl and T-Dog with the prisoners. The two boxes I was carrying were full of canned food and were extremely heavy, but the thought of a good dinner tonight motivated me.

"There's somethin' off about these guys, I'm tellin' you" I warned Rick on the way back.

He sighed "yeah, might be a problem"

"Hispanic dude doesn't like you"

"We're either gonna have to live with them or deal with them" I nodded in response.

"Foods has arrived" I said once Carl let me and Rick inside the cell block.

"What did you get?" Carl excitedly asked.

"Canned meat, canned vegetables, the whole package" I couldn't not be excited with him.

"There's a lot more where that came from" Rick told him.

Rick stopped to asked Glenn about Hershel but I carried on to take the food inside a cell that wasn't being used.

Daryl and T-Dog brought the prisoners just outside our cell block to prepare for the next cell block clear out, me and Rick joined them. We lay out all of our weapons aside from firearms and grenades. The prisoners looked them over, but the hispanic guy, who I learned was called Tomas looked to Rick as he picked up a crowbar. "Why do I need this, when I've got this" he said cockily, pulling out his gun from his pants.

"You don't fire guns, not unless your backs up against a wall" Daryl grunted at Tomas. "Noise attracts 'em, really riles 'em up"

"We'll go in two by two. Daryl will run point with Adam. I'll bring up the rear with you" Rick pointed the little guy called Andrew. "Stay tight, hold formation. No matter how close the walkers get. Anyone breaks ranks, we could all go down. Anyone runs off, they could get mistaken for a walker, end up with an axe to the head"

"And that's where you aim. These things only go down with a head shot" Daryl informed them.

Tomas laughed once. "Ain't gotta tell us how to take out a man"

"I can see that" I laughed once at him sarcastically. "Except they ain't men, so just aim for the brain" Tomas gave me a dirty look.

"Man, it's too damn dark in here" Oscar complained.

"Gotta hold it up high, out in front of you" Daryl taught him. "You're gonna hear 'em before you see 'em"

We were creeping down the hallway as quietly as possible when Axel loudly said "It's comin'"

We hushed him as two walkers emerged from around the corner. Daryl started counting to three on his fingers, signaling for us to attack on three. But he didn't even get to two when the prisoners ran at the walkers, yelling. They got one to the ground and started kicking it in the torso, not thinking about anything we told them. The others got another one, Big Tiny had it by the arms as Axel was shanking it in the stomach. I felt like I was watching a prison horror movie. It was painful to watch, so we put them out of their misery. I stabbed the one that Big Tiny had by the arms in the head, T-Dog stabbing the other.

We took them around another corner where more walkers were. Daryl lifted up his crossbow, aiming at the nearest one and released an arrow into its head. "It's gotta be the brain. Not the stomach, no the heart - the brain"

A walker was nearly on us, but Oscar brought down his crowbar and smashed its head open. Axel got another one by stabbing it in the face. "Stay in tight formation, no more prison riot crap" The walkers just kept coming, but with five more men we were taking them down fast and easy. Once we were done, we could still hear groaning and we noticed Big Tiny wasn't behind us. We found him around a corner fighting two walkers and Rick took one down, but Tomas shot three bullets into the other, causing Rick to give him an angry look.

Big Tiny was touching his arm and when he pulled it back, blood dripped from his hand. Rick got him to move his jumpsuit to take a look. The scratch was about the size of my hand on his shoulder-blade, it looked painful. "I'm telling you, I don't feel anything. It's just a scratch" Big Tiny defended himself.

"I'm sorry, man" Rick's face was full of guilt.

"I can keep fighting!" Big Tiny began to panic.

"You cut that old guy's leg off to save his life" Andrew defended him.

"Look at where the bite is"

"Guys, I'm fine! I'm fine" He told Rick. "Look at me, I'm not changing into one of those things"

"Look, man, there has to be something we can do. We could just lock him up" Oscar was defending him now.

"Quarantine him" Axel suggested.

"Why you just standing there? You gotta save him!" Andrew yelled.

"There's nothing we can do" Rick's voice was low and sharp.

"You son of a bitch" Andrew spat.

"I'm alri-" Big Tiny was cut off by a whack to the head. When he hit the floor, Tomas stood over him and started swinging his sharp weapon into Big Tiny's head over and over. Blood sprayed up Tomas and up the wall beside him. Tomas wasn't fucking right. Rick gave me a worried look and I shook my head. Once he was done, he stared Rick down as he panted, an evil glint in his eye, and then carried on towards cell block B.

We entered the laundry room, and Tomas was already waiting by the second door. By the sound of it, there were quiet a few walkers on the other side. Daryl threw the keys at Tomas's feet, and he stared at Daryl. "I ain't openin' that"

"Yes you are. Because you want this cell block" Rick demanded. "You're gonna open that door, just the one. Not both of them, because we need to control this"

Tomas sighed and picked up the keys. I noted the look her shared with Andrew before unlocking the door. He struggled for a moment and then turned to us, "You bitches ready?" then both doors swung open and the walkers poured in.

"I said one door!" Rick yelled at him.

"Shit happens!" He yelled back before taking down a walker.

I was busy on the far right, walkers were swarming in towards Daryl, T-Dog and I. We were taking down walker after walker while keeping an eye on Tomas who had just swung his machete around, nearly hitting Rick in the face. He then pushed a walker onto him, and Rick fell to the ground. I finished off the walker that was on me and ran to his aid, kicking it off him. I stamped on its head and face the hoard behind me again. Rick got up and we finished them off side by side, not going near Tomas.

Once we were finished, Rick squared up to Tomas a little. Tomas shrugged his shoulders "It was comin' at me, bro"

"Yeah, I get it" Rick laughed once sarcastically and my hand rested on my pistol. "Shit happens" Rick's face went serious as he stared down Tomas.

The tension grew as they stared each other down, and Andrew was standing by them holding his baseball bat. I saw the twitch in Rick's arm and I pulled out my pistol right away, just before Rick's machete landed in Tomas's head, causing his lifeless body to collapse to the floor. "No!" Andrew screamed as he swung his baseball bat at Rick who just dropkicked him in the chest, sending him flying to the floor. I pointed me pistol at Andrew who got up and ran out of the double doors with Rick on his heels. I turned my pistol to Oscar along with Daryl who shouted for them to get down on their knees.

"We don't have no affiliation to what just happened. Tell him, Oscar!" Axel near begged.

Oscar shook his head. "Stop talking, man"

Axel bowed his head and began to quietly cry. The rest of us didn't move an inch before Rick got back. He didn't take long and he didn't say anything about Andrew, so we presumed he was taken care of. Rick went over to Oscar, pulling out his gun and resting it between Oscar's eyes. "Look, we didn't have anything to do with that" Oscar's voice was calm and collected.

"You didn't know? You knew" Rick accused. "Daryl, let's end this now" Rick yelled as he pointed his gun at Axel's head.

Axel began to panic. "Sir, please listen to me! It was them that was bad. It wasn't us"

"Oh, that's convenient" Rick growled.

"You saw what he did to Tiny! He was my friend. Please, we ain't like that. I like my pharmaceuticals, but I'm not killer. Oscar here, he's a B and E, and he ain't very good at it neither. We ain't the violent guys, they were! Please I swear to God! I wanna live!" He begged as he cried.

Rick turned back to Oscar, who didn't flinch at the gun being pointed between his eyes. "What about you?"

"I ain't never pleaded for my life. And I ain't about to start now. So you do what you gotta do" Oscar didn't take his eyes off the gun.

Rick stared at him for a moment, and then his arm fell to his side. He signaled for us to get them back to their feet, Daryl had Oscar so I grabbed Axel by the arm as soft as I could as I hauled him to his feet.

There were no encounters with walkers on the rest of the walk to cell block B. When we went inside, the were bodies outside every cell, blood splatters coming from their heads. "I knew these guys" Axel looked down at the line of bodies "they were good men"

"Let's go" Rick began to leave.

"So you're just gonna leave us in here? Man, this is sick" Oscar frowned at Rick.

"We're locking down this cell block. From now on, this part of the prison is yours. Take it or leave it. That was the deal"

"You think this is sick? You don't wanna know what's outside" Daryl told them.

"Consider yourselves the lucky ones"

Rick and Daryl left with that, and before me and T-Dog left too, I wanted to say something to them. "Sorry about your friends. I know the feelin', we all do" T-Dog nodded in agreement.

"A word of advice - take those bodies outside and burn them" T-Dog advised. Then we left, closing the door behind us.

When we were finally back at our cell block, Carl and Glenn were standing outside Hershel's cell. "Hershel stopped breathing. Mom saved him" Carl excitedly told his father.

"It's true" Glenn confirmed.

Rick entered and I followed. I stood next to Beth who gave me a quick smile before turning her attention back to her father. I felt bad that I had been out all day instead of comforting her and calming her down. I rubbed her back a little, she must be feeling really shitty right now.

I looked down at Hershel, his breathing was ragged and slow and his face was pale. It sounded like he was about to speak and everyone tensed, Maggie shot right to his side and waited, but nothing came and everyone slumped. All of a sudden, though, his eyes slowly flickered open. "Daddy?" Maggie was crying.

"Daddy!" Beth smiled and went to his side. Rick undid the handcuffs and Hershel's Rick arm fell.

Hershel's eyes were searching, and when they found what they were looking for, he reached his right hand out. Rick grabbed it and he knelt down to his side. Beth and Maggie were crying and holding on to each other. Rick looked around the room and when his eyes were on mine, I nodded in support and he turned his attention back to Hershel who hadn't taken his eyes off him. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Lori suddenly left the room and Rick took notice. "Come here" Rick grabbed Beth's hand and put it in Hershel's, and then he followed Lori out of the cell.

We all stood there and watched Hershel hold his daughters, it was amazing. Hershel could have easily been dead or worse, but somehow he survived and he was awake. This was suddenly a good day.


	12. Chapter 12

_It had been a week since we locked ourselves inside our own home and we'd already ran out of food. No one knew we were in here, Logan said that we were safe for now. But it never lasts, we have to go out and find food. Logan was driving me crazy, we barely spoke to each other. He was so cold and blunt, he actually scared me._

_As we readied ourselves to leave, Logan looked at me as he slightly frowned. "You sure you're ready for this? It could get hot out there"_

_I frowned back at him "I ain't a kid anymore, Logan. Don't treat me like one"_

_"Whatever" he mumbled as he stuffed his pockets with the little ammunition he had. He made me carry his pocket knife for protection, but honestly, I didn't feel like it was necessary. What if this whole thing was blown out of proportion? People could be better by now, for all we know. But here Logan is, ready to shoot anyone._

_We moved the refrigerator from the way of the back door, figuring it's the easiest exit. After we jumped over our back yard fence, I decided to make conversation. "Do you think they'll sort this mess out?" Mr. Anderson's rotting corpse was still on our wasn't a good sign for my 'getting better' theory._

_"Do I think who will sort this mess out?" He had his hand gun out and ready._

_"The government. The military. Anybody" I hoped._

_"Nah, would've been sorted out by now"_

_He was never much of a talker, but these are new limits. I couldn't remember what he looked like when he smiled. "Can we check Travis's house?"_

_"No, too far"_

_I stopped walking. "Someone has to be alive, Logan. This can't be all there is. We need to find people"_

_He stopped a few feet ahead of me, gritting his teeth. "What we need is food, we can't risk it" then he carried on onto Mr. Anderson's driveway. Mr. Anderson lived alone, so nothing should jump out at us._

_I shut the door behind me when we both entered Mr. Anderson's house, and Logan went straight to the kitchen. I lingered for a moment, feeling guilty for breaking and entering, but he did try to kill us. I followed Logan to the kitchen and he was already filling his backpack with everything he could find. I joined him, the first cupboard was full of canned food, so I shoved them all into my backpack. The next was filled with stale and moldy bread, but the crackers were okay. "Do we bother with what's in the fridge?" I asked him._

_"No, whatevers in there is either out of date or will be"_

_When we were finished filling our backpacks, Logan was in a hurry to get back to the house. "We can't just lock ourselves inside forever" I told him._

_"Just c'mon" he grunted and we left the house._

_"Oh god" Logan whispered. There were a dozen walking dead people hanging around outside, and we were frozen._

_"What do we do?" I whispered back at him, I was panicking._

_But it was too late, they'd already noticed us. "Follow me" Logan began sprinting away from the house. I did as I was told, narrowly dodging a dead person's grasp. We ran as fast as we could down the street, my backpack was making all sorts of noises. When we were in the clear for a second, Logan stopped me and we both ditched our backpacks. They were causing too much noise, but we could starve along with being eaten alive now._

_"Where are we goin'?" I asked Logan through gasps for air as we ran._

_"Just shut up and follow me"_

_We slowed to a walk as I followed him around corners and through alleyways. There weren't many of those things around, so I was glad Logan didn't have to kill anyone else. He stopped all of a sudden and I followed his eyes to a convenience store. It's shutters haven't been pulled down, which could mean a lot of things. The bell rang when Logan opened the door and rang a second time as it closed behind me. We both began creeping, he had his gun out and I had my baseball bat hanging in my hands. I didn't have any intention of using it, I didn't want Logan to use his gun again either. I looked around, I've been here before. I used to always come here after school to buy candy. Logan was making his way behind the counter and I frowned at him. "The owners could still be here, you can't go behind there"_

_He scoffed at me. "You're such a wuss. We need food, I gotta make sure none of those things are in here" he made his way to the door behind the counter. I stuck around, feeling annoyed. He disappeared and I admired everything that was on the shelves._

_Logan started screaming in the room he disappeared in and I dropped the candy bar I was holding, sprinting towards him. In the room, one of those things had Logan pinned up against the wall. But I realised that wasn't all, it was ripping up the skin on the right side of his shoulder. His screams made my blood curdle, and the sudden rage inside me took over. I grabbed the dead guy by the collar and threw him to the other side of the room. It struggled as it tried to get back up so I put my foot on its chest, making sure it wouldn't surprise us again. As I looked in this thing's colourless eyes, I could tell that nothing remained from whoever it was before. No person would try to eat another person. I held my baseball bat tightly in my two hands and let my rage take over. The first blow to its head made a loud crack, breaking its skull. The second sprayed blood all over me, and the thing was clearly dead, but I just kept going. Hitting it in whatever was left of its head over and over until I was panting and sweaty. There were bits of brain everywhere, up the wall, on the floor, on me. I turned around and my brother had sunken to the ground, leaning up the wall watching me. I dropped my bat and kneeled beside him. "We can fix this"_

_He shook his head "Not this time, little brother"_

_A lump had developed in my throat as I processed what was actually happening. But it couldn't be happening. "You can't..." I stopped myself, too scared to talk. I was going to cry, but I hated being weak in front of Logan._

_"I was wrong, there are probably still people left, you just have to look for them. I didn't want to find anyone else because I don't trust anybody but you. You can't survive on your own, though. Go to Atlanta, there should be refugee camps by now. Find Marley"_

_I broke down at the sound of her name, I couldn't hold myself together anymore. "Logan, no, don't"_

_"It's too late for me, Adam. You have to go before it's too late for you, too" he put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. "Find her. She's the only one that will keep you sane now. And if she's dead..." his eyes glazed over a little "...then it's closure"_

_I still couldn't hold back my tears, and he picked up his gun from next to him. My face dropped. "What are you doin'?" I panicked._

_"I ain't turnin' into one of those things. I'll do it myself, but you have to take the gun from me after it's done" I shook my head "you have to, promise me" he demanded._

_I sighed a shaky sigh "I promise" I held his hand and he flinched at the affection, but he gripped my hand in response._

_He lifted the gun up to his temple and held it there for a second. "I love you, brother" I shut my eyes as hard as I could, gripping at my brother's hand. The bang made me jump, but I couldn't move. I felt paralysed for a second. I slowly opened my eyes, looking at my brother's lifeless hand in mine. I couldn't bring myself to look up, I just stared at his hand in mine. I didn't want to ever leave him. But he was gone now, I couldn't stay here. I let go of his hand and grabbed the gun, sticking it in my pocket. I looked back down at his hand, still not being able to see the probable mess that was on his shoulders. I put my hand back onto his for the last time "I love you too, brother" With that, I got up and left all that I knew._

My eyes shot open as soon as I realised where I was and where Logan was now. I couldn't handle the emotions I was feeling, I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to block out that part of my life forever but my subconsciousness won't let me. I rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes, I couldn't tell you what though because I was too busy concentrating on not thinking about anything. Leaving my cell, I bumped into Beth who had her head buried in a book that was now on the floor after bouncing off my chest. She gasped a little and I was quick to pick it up and give it back to her. She slightly smiled at me but the longer she looked at me, the more she frowned. "What's wrong?"

I looked at my feet and frowned. "Just night terrors again, it's nothin'"

"It clearly ain't nothin'"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me" I left her standing there, making my way outside. She followed me, though. She didn't say a word to me as I opened the front gate of the yard, it was a hot day and I just wanted to bury my face in the grass. I immediately sat down on the slight hill towards the right side of the yard and she sat next to me, still holding that book of hers. I couldn't tell what book it was.

"What do you dream about?" She asked me quietly after a while. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't get my words out. I sat there for a second, a little speechless. "I'm sorry, it's none of my business" She quickly retreated.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm just thinking of ways to tell you" She watched me think for a while, I couldn't take my eyes off my fidgeting hands. "I dream mostly about my past. I had a brother, and he..." I opened and closed my mouth, realising I've never said it out loud before. She nodded her head though, telling me that she knows what I was trying to say so I could avoid using the word. "Then there's Marley. I had a girlfriend before all of this happened. Her dreams paralyse me, when I wake up, I feel like I'm tied up underwater. I feel helpless and weak" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "They both haunt me and I can't control it"

She didn't take her eyes off me as she listened, and she thought for a moment when I had finished. "Does this happen every night?" She sounded like she couldn't believe it. Once I nodded my head, her face filled with pity. "I'm so sorry, Adam"

I gave her a small smile, not wanting us to sit in this uncomfortable sadness. "Don't be, it's only sleep, right?" I joked. "Besides, I should thank you. The first night we got here and we all slept right over there, in the middle of the yard, and we both slept under my shirt together, I had a dreamless sleep for the first time since the world went to shit. I'm not sure if it's because of you or not, but thank you. It was nice to have at least one peaceful nights sleep"

"Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me? We could've tested it by now" She told me off. "Are you tired?"

I shrugged "Always am"

"Let's test it, then" She crossed her legs and patted her lap, as if she was telling a dog to cuddle her. I lay my head on her lap, it was more comfortable than it looked. I looked up and she was looked down at me, smiling. I couldn't help but smile back up at her. The sun bounced off her golden hair the way it would an angel. She began playing with my hair, gently massaging my head in the process. I closed my eyes, concentrating on her fingers. It felt like she was in my head, my body, making all of my insides good again. I fell into a blissful sleep, happier than I'd felt in a long while.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter, I had a confidence knock but I'm hoping I'm back to normal now. Enjoy.**

"Okay, let's get the other car in. We'll park 'em in the west entry of the yard" Rick was giving out orders as we were all out in the yard. We were bringing the cars in and moving corpses, making us sweat even more under the burning sun.

"Good, our vehicles camped out there look like a giant "vacancy" sign"

"After that, we need to load up these corpses so we can burn 'em"

"Let me guess, am I on the 'movin' the dead people' job?" I asked sarcastically.

T-Dog laughed. "Gonna be a long day"

"Where's Glenn and Maggie? We could use some help" Carol asked when she joined us.

"Up in the guard tower" Daryl pointed to where they were.

"Guard tower? They were just up there last night" Rick was confused.

Daryl cupped his mouth. "Glenn! Maggie!"

There was no sign that they were in there at first, but I heard the sound of a door slightly click and Glenn popped his head out, shirtless and doing the button on his jeans. "Hey, what's up, guys?" He called down to us, pretending we don't know what's going on.

We started laughing. "You comin'?" Daryl shouted back up to him which made me laugh harder.

"W-what?" Glenn didn't know how to respond.

"You comin'?" Daryl repeated. "C'mon, we could use a hand"

"Yeah, we'll be right down" He went back inside to hopefully get dressed.

"At least someone's gettin' some" I laughed.

"What do you know about gettin' some? You're a baby" Daryl laughed at me.

"I ain't a baby, I'm 18 you fucker"

"Yeah, yeah"

"Hey, Rick" T-Dog called behind us.

We stopped and looked to where T-Dog was looking, Axel and Oscar were at the gate watching us, wiping the smile from Rick's face. "Come with me" he said under his breath as he stormed over to them. I placed my hand on my gun in its holster and followed.

"That's close enough" Rick told them. We met them at the gate to the yard. "We had an agreement"

"Please, mister. We know that. We made a deal" Axel squinted in the sunlight, nervously crossing his arms. Glenn and Maggie had come down behind them now. "But you gotta understand. We can't live in that place another minute, you follow me? All the bodies. People we knew. Blood, brains everywhere. There's ghosts"

"Why don't you move the bodies out?" Daryl sounded fed up.

"You should be burning them" T-Dog told them.

"We tried, we did" Axel defended themselves.

"The fence is down the far side of the prison. Every time we dragged a body out, those things just lined up" Oscar spoke for the first time. "So hump in a body and just running back inside"

"Look, we had nothin' to do with Thomas and Andrew, nothin'. You tryin' to prove a point? You proved it, bro. We'll do whatever it takes to be a part of your group, just please, please, don't make us live in that place" Axel's face was full of pure desperation, and Oscar wasn't telling him to shut up so I figured he was desperate, too.

Rick didn't hesitate before he spoke. "Our deal is not negotiable. You either live in your cell block, or you leave"

"I told you this was a waste of time" Oscar told Axel. He turned his attention back to Rick. "They ain't no different from the pricks who shot up our boys. You know how many friends' corpses we had to drag out this week? Just threw 'em out, like-" he stopped himself and sighed. "These were good guys. Good guys who had our backs against the really bad dudes in the joint, like Thomas and Andrew. We've all made mistakes to get in here, chief. And I ain't gonna pretend to be a saint, but believe me, we've paid our due. Enough that we would rather hit that road than to go back into that shithole"

They both stared at each other and then Rick looked behind him at Daryl, who shook his head.

"This ain't right and you know it" I told Rick as Daryl locked Axel and Oscar out of the yard and in the middle gate.

"Are you serious? You want them living in a cell next to you? They'll just be waitin' for a chance to grab our weapons" Rick told me. "You want to go back to sleepin' with one eye open?"

"I never stopped" T-Dog defended me. "Bring them into the fold"

"If we send them off packing, we might as well execute them ourselves" It was like the Randall situation all over again.

"I don't know, Axel seems a little unstable" Glenn worried.

"After all we've been through? We fought so hard for all of this, what if they decide to take it? It's just been us for so long" Carol was worrying, too.

"I get it, the unknown is scary, but they're just as scared as we are, we're all in this together" I frowned at them all.

"I don't- it feels weird all of a sudden to have these people around" It was Maggie's turn to disagree.

"You brought us in" T-Dog told her.

"Yeah, but you turned up with a shot boy in your arms, you didn't give us a choice"

"They can't even kill walkers" Glenn shrugged his shoulders.

"They're convicts, bottom line"

"Those two might actually have less blood on their hands than we do" T-Dog frowned.

"I get guys like this, hell I grew up with 'em. They're degenerates, but they ain't psychos. I could have been with them just as easy as I'm out here with you, guys" Daryl told us.

"So are you with us?" T-Dog asked him.

"Hell, no. Let 'em take their chances out on the road, just like we did"

"When I was a rookie, I arrested this kid. Wanted for stabbin' his girlfriend. The kid blubbered like a baby durin' the interrogation, durin' the trial- suckered the jury. He was acquitted due to insufficient evidence, and 2 weeks later shot another girl. We've been through too much. Our deal with them stands" They all walked away after that, leaving T-Dog and I, defeated. We couldn't argue, though. He was half right. But it was still wrong to throw away someone's life.

"Move the cars to the upper yard, point them facing out. They'll be out-of-the-way but ready to go if we ever need to bail" Rick barked his orders, handing the keys to Glenn. Me and T-Dog had already rounded up the body with help from a truck. I stunk of walkers from carrying them over my shoulder but it felt good to do a hard day's work. He turn to T-Dog and I "We'll get the prisoners. A week's worth of supplies for the road"

"It might not last a week" T-Dog sighed.

"It's their choice"

"Did they have one to begin with?" I called Rick out.

"Hey" Rick stopped. "Whose blood would you rather have on your hands? Maggie's, Glenn's? Or their's?"

"Why can't it be neither?" I asked him and left him to think about it.

Since I couldn't drive and they refused to teach me, I made my way inside. I was still mad at Rick, but the sight of Hershel up on his feet, holding his crutches with Lori and Beth at either side put a smile on my face. "Where are you goin'?" I laughed.

"Goin' for a stroll, care to join us?" He asked me, he was full of cheer and it was infectious.

"I would love to" I smiled.

We made our way to the yard, and Hershel was surprisingly steady considering he was newly amputated. When we got to the steps outside of the cell block C entrance, I went down them in front of him, with my hand held out onto his chest steps. "Concentrate on each step, I'll catch you if you lose your balance" I encouraged him.

"Take your time" Beth did the same.

He lost balance, then, but he quickly regained it.

"You cleared all those bodies out?" Hershel asked me.

"Yeah, T-Dog and I dumped 'em out in the yard"

"It's starting to look like a place we can really live in" He admired the view as we walked, slowly, towards the yard.

We could see Daryl, Glenn and Rick down by the tear in the fence bringing in some firewood. They all stopped and watched us. "All right, Hershel!" Glenn cheered across the prison, it looked like Daryl told him off though.

"You're doin' great, daddy" Beth smiled.

"You ready to race, Hershel?" Carl asked him.

"You give me another day, I'll take you on"

"Winner gets to race me, 'cause we all know I'm the fastest" I boasted.

"The fastest eater, maybe" Carl joked, receiving a few chuckles.

We all just stood there and enjoyed the moment for a while, but it didn't last, it never does.

"Walkers!" Carl screamed and I spun around as fast as I could, Carl was right, there were walkers behind us and a shit load of them. I couldn't see where they were coming from, though.

"Take Hershel back to the cell block" I told Beth as I took out my gun and started shooting at the walkers.

She did as I told her to, and she took Hershel to the nearest entrance. As they got to the steps, a walker came behind Hershel and tried to gnaw on his leg, but the bullet that came flying from my gun stopped it. I ran after the two, remembering the situation. The inside could be just as crowded as it is out here.

We all entered the cage surrounding the door and Beth was about to open the entrance to the prison but I stopped her. "Don't, the inside could be just as bad and I can't kill all of them without the rest of us"

"We just wait, then?" Beth asked me.

"You two wait. I gotta go back out there and help"

"Adam, you can't, you could die" She frowned at me.

"I need to make sure Carol is okay" I got my hand gun out ready to leave the cage.

"Please, don't" She grabbed my hand and tangled our fingers together. I stopped what I was doing and turned around to look at her. Her eyes were begging me to stay. I looked up at Hershel for his reaction to her sudden affection and to my surprise, he nodded at me. I sighed, she was so hard to say no to. I put my gun back in its holster and looked out for and sign of Carol while I still gripped onto Beth's hand, never wanting to let go.

"There's Carol" I told Beth and Hershel. She was with T-Dog about to enter the prison. T-Dog was closing the gate but a walker got a hold of him and bit his shoulder. "Oh, shit" He still managed to close the gate, then he took Carol inside.

Rick, Daryl and Glenn finally opened the yard gate behind us and began killing walkers. "What the hell happened?!" Rick screamed up at us over the noise.

"The gate was open!" Beth called down to him.

"Where's Lori, Carl, everyone else?!"

"Maggie led Lori and Carl into the C block!" Hershel shouted.

"T got bit, he took Carol inside" I told him.

"Anyone else?"

"Couldn't tell"

"Stay put"

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, stay put"

My fingers were fidgeting in Beth's hand, I couldn't stand feeling useless. Then the alarm started blaring, it was so loud. Rick and Glenn were shooting the speakers but it was coming from all over the prison. "I need to go" I let go of Beth's hand.

"Adam-"

"I'll be okay, trust me" I gave her a small smile and left them in the cage.

Rick was talking to Axel and Oscar, so I joined them. "It has to be the backup generators" Oscar was explaining.

"Well, how do you turn those on?" Rick asked, he was angry.

"There's three that's connected to a diesel tank, okay? Each one controls a certain part of the prison. The hatch shut them all off when the prison was overrun"

"Can someone open up the main gates electronically with full power?"

"I only worked in there a few days, I guess it might be possible"

Rick grunted and grabbed Oscar by his collar "Come with us!" and then we were sprinting.

It didn't take us long until we found our way to C block, we didn't have to kill many walkers. But inside, there must have been about 10. They weren't hard to kill with all our man power and when we were finished, we frantically search every cell but no one was to be found. "There's no sign of Lori or any of them" Rick panicked.

"They must have been pushed back into the prison" Glenn told him.

"Somebody is playin' games!" Rick yelled out of anger. "We'll split up and look for the others, whoever gets to the generators first, shut 'em down!"

I followed Rick and Oscar, taking down walkers. I wasn't sure where we were even going but I followed and kept my mouth shut. We entered a room full of electronics and what seemed to be generators after a while and Oscar and I shut the door behind us and held it shut against the bunch of walkers trying to get in. Rick explored the room to find the generator. "How do you shut these down?!" He yelled.

Oscar looked at me "I got it" and then he let go to join Rick. I struggled, my feet were sliding on the floor to keep this damn door shut. But then I heard them being attacked, clanking and grunting. It was making me nervous and I nearly lost grip on the door. I heard a gun go off but the fighting continued. My palms were sweaty and I had to let go of the door, so I did and they came at me, I could tell how many they were. I was fast with my knife, as soon as it left one head it found another. I killed 3 and the slammed the door shut again. "Shoot him, we can take back this prison" I made my way to Rick and saw Oscar pointing Rick's gun at Rick while Andrew was stood behind him. I took out my pistol and pointed it at Oscars head and was about to pull the trigger when I saw him move his aim slightly and shoot, making Andrew fall to the ground. He aimed the gun a Rick for a second, but dropped it and handed it to him. I lowered my gun and Rick shut off the generator, causing the alarms to stop. "Let's go"

We made our way through the dark hallways with our flashlights our and guns ready to shoot. We heard some shuffling around the corner so we stopped and Oscar was about to swing his axe when Glenn and Axel jumped out. Glenn sighed out of relief and we all carried on down the hallway in silence.

When we turned around the corner, though, there were two walkers devouring a corpse on the floor. Rick shot them and we quickly made our way to what used to be T-Dog. His stomach was now a gaping hole that was spewing blood everywhere, his internal organs missing. We stood there for a second to let the grief overwhelm up while we were safe.I saw Daryl pick something up from the floor and I was at his side in a second, remembering Carol was with T-Dog last time I saw her. "It's Carl's scarf" I said out of disbelief as I took it from Daryl's hands. We haven't found a body, though, she wasn't dead. I tied the scarf around my belt and we carried on outside, running again.

Once we were outside, we ran back to Beth and Hershel. Beth smiled when she saw me but I could get myself to do the same. "You didn't find them?" Hershel asked.

"We thought maybe they came back out here" Glenn was out of breath.

"What about T, Carol?"

"They didn't make it" Daryl sounded remorseful.

"We didn't find Carol's body, she's still alive" I reminded them.

"The other's might be alive, we're goin' back. Daryl and Glenn, you come with me-" Rick was cut off by the sound of a baby. We all turned around and Carl and Maggie were coming from the C block entrance. Maggie held a baby in her arms, blood up to her forearms. She was crying, and Carl had his gun out. I knew what it meant, and I couldn't look at Rick. He began to walk over to them, dropping the axe he was holding without care. He shook his head out of disbelief, raising his eyebrows. "Where-where is she?" He asked Maggie. She began to cry harder, and he stormed past her. She tried to grab him but she didn't succeed. He stopped by Carl's side and then began to sob at the sight of his son. His sobs grew harder with each other, saying 'oh no' over and over again. Glenn comforted Maggie and Rick finally collapsed to the ground, holding his head. I felt a hand gently rub my back and I turned around to see Beth smiling sympathetically at me and I gave in. I pulled her into a hard embrace, not caring about anything but her comfort right now as I felt myself fly into a pit of grief.


	14. Chapter 14

"Let me see the baby" Hershel ordered, Carl took the baby from Maggie and made his way to Hershel. Behind them, Rick was still on his knees, no one was able to break him from the trance he entered after he found out Lori had died.

"What're we gonna feed it?" Daryl asked Hershel. "We got anythin' a baby can eat?"

Hershel examined the baby. "The good news is she looks healthy. But she needs formula. And soon, or she won't survive"

"Nope, no way. Not her. We ain't losin' no body else, I'm goin' on a run"

"I'll back you up" Maggie was fast to tell Daryl.

"I'll go, too" Glenn was second.

"Okay, think about where we're goin'" he told them, and then he pulled Beth aside and spoke quietly to her.

"Rick!" Maggie called out and I looked to see Rick grabbing his axe off the floor and rushing inside the C block entrance.

"C'mon, we're gonna lose the light!" Daryl complained.

Maggie and Glenn followed Daryl, all of them running for the car.

Glenn couldn't go as Daryl and Maggie took Daryl's bike instead, so he stayed outside digging graves. I would have helped him but I knew I was more useful elsewhere.

Hershel, Carl, Beth and I were inside the cell block C trying to care for the new addition to our fucked up family. Carl was already a great big brother, he hadn't left his sister's side since was born.

I was sitting on the step watching Carl hold the baby as she slept and Beth was cooing over her. I was uneasy with the fact that Carol was still missing and Glenn was already out there declaring her dead. I finally got up and armed myself with my two knives, hunting rifle and hand gun. Beth came in, and I stopped what I was doing to look at her.

"What are you doin'?" She asked me.

I sighed. "I'm goin' to find Carol"

"You can't go alone" Her worry was obvious and unnecessary.

"She's still alive, Beth. I gotta find her" I stormed past her but she stopped me again at the gate.

"You'll get yourself killed out there, at least wait 'til Daryl's back" I didn't look at her because I knew her eyes would be begging me, and I always gave in whenever I saw them.

"Just let me do this" I said through partially gritted teeth.

She then moved between me and the gate and faced me, forcing me to look her in the eye. "No"

My emotions got the better of me, then. Tears formed and fell, I gripped onto the bars each side of Beth for support as I broke down and felt nothing but pain in my chest. Beth seemed a little taken aback by my sudden outburst, but she soon wrapped her arms around my waist. I began to give up on standing, but she led me to her cell before I could reach the floor. She sat me down on her bunk and I leaned up against the wall, holding my head. She quickly and gently removed the guns and knives from my torso and then sat next to me, pulling me towards her. I didn't protest, I buried my face in her neck as she wrapped her arms around mine and I quietly cried into her. The thought of Carol's probable demise was overwhelming me, Beth was right about waiting for Daryl but I couldn't handle it. I gripped onto her back and held her as tight as I could.

It felt like we were sitting there for hours, and when I had finally pulled away from her, her eyes were red. I awkwardly coughed, suddenly embarrassed at the situation. "Sorry about that"

She laughed a little and put her hand on top of mine. "Don't be"

Another overwhelming feeling was taking over me, but I wasn't thinking about Carol anymore. I was thinking about how nice Beth's lips were when she smiled. I wanted to kiss her so much right now and I didn't understand why I wasn't. My heart started racing just thinking about it. I let my mind go blank for a second and my confidence got the better of me, I began to lean into her slowly. My heart was going wild and I stopped breathing, waiting for a reaction from her. Her eyes widened a little and I saw a sudden intake of breath, but she didn't say anything. I carried on leaning in and our noses were touching, we were so close I could almost imagine how her lips felt. My hand reached the side of her face and I readied myself to kiss her, wanting it to be perfect. I closed my eyes just as Carl called out that Maggie and Daryl were back. Beth and I looked at each other but didn't say anything. She was quick to leave me sitting on her bunk. I couldn't explain the feeling that was in the pit of my stomach right now, but I had to push it aside so I could help the others, so I joined them outside Beth's cell.

Beth and Maggie were going through the contents of the bag that Maggie and Daryl filled while they were out and Daryl was holding the baby. Glenn, Axel and Oscar came back from outside and Beth hurriedly gave Daryl the bottle. Daryl was trying to calm her down, talking gently as he but the bottle in her mouth. She immediately stopped crying and started to suck on the bottle greedily. Daryl laughed, he was clearly enjoying this. "She got a name yet?" he asked Carl.

Carl shook his head. "Not yet. I was thinking maybe Sophia. There's Carol, too" he sighed. "and Andrea, Amy, Jacqui, Patricia, or-" stopped himself, but then carried on to say it. "Lori. I don't know"

Daryl looked a little sympathetic but quickly turned his attention back to the baby. "You like that, huh? Little ass kicker" he then turned to look at us all. "Right?" we all laughed with him. "That's a good name, right? Little ass kicker, you like that, sweetheart?"

"She'll be kickin' your ass, soon" I laughed.

"Yeah, only 'cause I'll be the one teachin' her" he smiled down at her.

Everyone began to wind down, retreating to their own cells. We decided to give Rick some space for the night, he needed it. Beth was going to look after ass kicker tonight so I decided to give her some space, too. I regretted not kissing her as fast as I possibly could, but it wouldn't have felt right. I knew we both needed to take our time with it, so I couldn't dwell on it. In bed I thought of Carol. I thought of her lost, trying to make her way back to us. I thought of her trapped in a room with walkers trying to get inside the door. I saw the walkers succeeding and I saw her dead. I started to lose myself again but the look on Beth's face just as she realised I was trying to kiss her popped into my head. I got butterflies at the thought and I would give anything to try again. Her lips were the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep.

_Marley stood 5 feet away from the pool in my backyard and began ripping off her clothes, leaving her bra and panties. "What're you doin'?" I laughed._

_"Swimmin'" She gave me a grin and jumped in. She immediately gasped "It's so cold!" she swam to the edge of the pool and held her hand out, waiting for me to pull her out. I grabbed it and pulled, but I realised she was pulling, too. I tried to resist, but gravity betrayed me and I fell face first into the water. I was super cold and my clothes clung to me. She was laughing hysterically. "I wish you saw your face!"_

_I swam over to hear, ready to be mad at her but I ended up laughing with her, splashing her with water. "You're an asshole, somethings" I smiled at her._

_"And you're a nerd sometimes but you don't hear me complainin'"_

_"Yeah, I'm your nerd"_

_"Yeah, you are" Her eyes lit up the way they do when she gets a 'brilliant' idea. She swam over to me and clung onto me, so I had to support both of us as I tried to stay afloat. I looked up at her and her hands rested on my cheeks, and then she put her lips onto mine. The feeling was weird, I was kissing my best friend. But the butterflies in my stomach was telling me that I enjoyed it. I'd never kissed a girl before, and it's pretty hard to do when you're trying to stay above water. When her lips left mine, she didn't take her eyes off me, obviously waiting for a reaction._

_"What was that for?" I asked her._

_"I like you" She smiled._

This dream didn't make me panic or sit up really fast, panting. I half expected it, to be honest. I wiped the sweat from my brow and put on my shorts and plaid shirt. Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Hershel and Carl were sitting around a table eating breakfast when I walked out and Daryl, Oscar were either standing or sitting on the stairs. Glenn held out a bowl at my arrival and I took it from him. "Knew you'd be up soon"

I laughed. "Thanks, man" I joined Daryl on the stairs and stared at the back of Beth's head wondering what she was thinking. Did she resent me for trying to kiss her or did she want it as much as I did? I didn't know, I've been thinking about it too much. I don't know what I'd do if she resented me, though.

"Everybody okay?" Rick's voice echoed through the room and we all looked up to find him standing behind the gate as he opened it.

"Yeah, we are" Maggie was the one to answer.

Rick slowly walked towards the table, he had a kind of manic expression on his face that I'd never seen before and I worried about him a little. "What about you?" Hershel asked him.

"Cleared out the boiler block" Rick avoided the question.

"How many were there?" Daryl asked him.

"I don't know, a dozen, two dozen" His eyes were glazed over a little as he spoke. "I have to get back, just wanted to check on Carl" he patted his son's shoulder and started to leave.

"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies, you don't have to" Glenn stopped him.

"No, I do" He frowned. He then fast walked over to Daryl "Everybody have a gun and a knife?"

"Yeah, we're running low on ammo, though" Daryl didn't show any sign of wariness towards Rick.

"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon. We found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula" Glenn was out of his seat, now.

"We cleared out the generator room. Axel's there tryin' to fix it in case of an emergency. We're gonna sweep the lower levels, as well" Daryl informed Rick.

"Good" Rick nodded and then he was out of the gate before I could blink. Hershel tried calling out to him but he slammed the gate shut and left.

Daryl, Oscar, Carl and I were walking through a corridor, stepping over bodies when a nearby door was lightly being pushed open over and over again, there was a body in the way preventing it from opening fully. "Check it out, must've missed it last night" Oscar spoke.

"Probably just one or two of 'em. Don't look like they got much fight" Daryl observed as he pushed the door back a little. "They ain't goin' no where, we'll take care of 'em on the way back"

"Yeah, like that can't bite us in the ass later" I scoffed. Daryl decided to ignore me.

"You know, my mom, she liked her wine" Daryl began to tell Carl as they walked a little in front of me. Oscar was behind, searching. "She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia Slim's. I was playin' out with the kids in the neighborhood, I could do that with Merle gone. They had bikes, I didn't. We heard sirens gettin' louder. They jumped on their bikes, ran after it, you know, hopin' to see somethin' worth seein'" He was checking doors as he spoke. "I ran after 'em, but I couldn't keep up. I ran around the corner and saw my friends lookin' at me. Hell, I saw everybody lookin' at me. Firetrucks everywhere. People from the neighborhood. It was my house they were there for. It was my mom in bed burnt down to nothin'. That was the hard part. You know, she was just gone. Erased. Nothin' left of her. People said it was better that way, I don't know. Just made it seem like it wasn't real, you know?" I looked behind me at Oscar who shrugged his shoulders.

After a moment, Carl sighed. "I shot my mom. She was out, hadn't turned yet. I ended it. It was real" He looked Daryl in the eye as he spoke. "Sorry about your mom" he looked at his feet.

"I'm sorry about your's" Daryl sounded sincere.

We made it to another cell block, only finding a handful of walkers on the way. As we were walking past the cells, Oscar got excited. "Oh that's what I'm talkin' about" he hurried into a cell. We followed him out of curiosity.

"What the hell do you need slippers for?" Daryl asked Oscar, who was crouched on the floor hugging a pair of brown slippers.

"You know, the end of the day. Relaxin'" Daryl laughed slightly.

"Dibs on the next pair" I said as I exited the cell, nearly shitting myself when the sound of a walker came from no where. Luckily, everyone was quicker than me when it came to reflexes, and they made the walker fall to the floor in seconds.

"Must've been in the cell at the end, we checked everywhere else" Oscar thought out loud.

Daryl inspected the walker as it lay lifeless on the floor. He pulled something out of its neck causing blood to squirt out. Upon examination, he recognised it. "Carol's knife" he seemed confused as he said it, and he wiped it clean on the walker's jumpsuit.

I wasn't sure if I felt hope that she was still alive or worried that she could still be alive and unarmed.

I took Carl back to the cell block, after losing his mom and his dad going a little awry, I guessed it wasn't good for him to go walker hunting for a long period of time.

Beth gave me a big smile as we entered the cell block, making my stomach do laps. She was stirring something in a pot. Hershel wasn't far behind her, holding the baby in his arms. Carl sat next to Beth and I stood on the other side of her, trying to get a look of what was in the pot. Deciding looking wasn't enough, I tried to stick a finger in there but she was quick to swat my hand away. I felt like I was doing well at pretending I hadn't tried to kiss her. But yet, all I wanted was another shot.

Hearing footsteps, we all looked up to see Rick entering the cell block, closing the gate behind him. He didn't look at Carl, just went straight for the baby in Hershel's arms, his eyes a little glazed over. He seemed nervous as he met his baby for the first time, breathing heavy. He took her out of Hershel's arms and cradled her, looking deep into her eyes. He finally began to look human again as he began to smile. He kissed the top of her head as he cuddled her.

He slowly began to walk towards the gate, and we all followed out of curiosity. He led us outside, where the clouds draped over the prison like a blanket. "She looks like you" I heard him tell Carl and I smiled to myself. Suddenly his face changed though, as he looked off into the distance. He rushed to give the baby to Carl and walked into the yard towards a crowd of walkers leaning on the fence. I followed him, trying to see what he saw. I quickly caught on when I saw a black woman holding a red basket, she looked injured. I didn't understand how she was standing among the walkers with no issue. But they were beginning to notice her.


	15. Chapter 15

Putting down the red basket, the black woman who was practically on our doorstep unsheathed a samurai sword which rested on her back and began swinging it at the walkers surrounding her, decapitating most of them. She was struggling, though. The closer I got, the more blood I could see dripping down her leg. "Should we help her?" Carl asked his dad frantically. Rick began running to the front gate.

All of a sudden, the woman fell backwards, unmoving. Walkers swarmed her and Carl and I took out our guns as fast as we could, shooting the walkers that were crowding her. Rick unlocked the main gate and the three of us shot every walker close enough to do damage. Carl went after the red basket she was carrying and Rick kicked away the woman's sword. "Is she bit?" Hershel asked behind us.

"Gun shot" RIck informed him as he quickly looked over her. He then threw her over his shoulders and we practically ran inside.

"Carl, get a blanket. Beth, water and a towel" Rick ordered once we were inside. Carl lay down a blanket right outside the cell block and Rick lay her down on it. "She's not comin' in the cell blocks" Rick took the water from Beth and poured some on her chest, that's when she started to regain consciousness. She began to panic "It's alright, look at me" which she did "who are you?" Rick's voice was gentle. She looked to her right and jumped for her sword but Rick kicked it away and held her down. "We're not gonna hurt you. Unless you try something stupid first, alright?"

"Rick" Daryl came out of the cell block. "Who the hell's this?"

The woman sat up a little. "You wanna tell us your name?" It sounded more like a threat than a question.

When she didn't answer, Daryl spoke again. "Y'all come on in here"

Rick stood up. "Everythin' alright?"

"You're gonna wanna see this"

Daryl led us to a cell, and Rick went in first, stopping in his tracks at whatever was in there. I heard a woman's small laugh and then I saw Carol and Rick in a tight embrace. My heart leapt into my mouth and she began to cry when her eyes landed on mine. Once Rick let go of her, she wrapped her arms around my neck and I squeezed as tight as I could around her waist, needing to feel that she was actually real. She pulled away a little and I wiped the tears that were halfway down her face, smudging the dirt she was covered in. I kissed her forehead and let the others do the same. "Poor thing fought her way into a cell. Must have passed out, dehydrated" I heard Daryl tell Rick. Once she saw Beth and the baby in her arms, she gasped in excitement and turned to Rick who gave her one simple look and she knew that Lori was dead. She cried and held Rick's face in her arms. "I'm sorry" She told him. Rick had tears in his eyes and Carol took the baby from Beth, cooing over little ass kicker.

Not wanting to make her wait, we wasted no time in getting back to the injured woman outside the cell block. "We can tend to that wound for you, give you a little food and water, and then send you on your way" Rick told her. I could see his hand hovering over his holstered pistol. "But you're gonna have to tell us how you found us. And why you were carrying formula"

"The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl" I saw Hershel stir at that in the corner of my eye.

"What happened?"

"Were they attacked?" Hershel's voice was in a panic.

"They were taken"

"Taken? By who?" Rick demanded.

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me" Her voice was filled with hatred.

"Hey, these are our people. You better tell us what happened now!" Rick grabbed her leg, around where her gun shot wound was and she jumped up in a rage.

"Don't you ever touch me again!" She pointed in his face.

"You better start talkin'. You're gonna have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound" Daryl warned her over his crossbow.

Her eyes were wide and wild. "Find 'em yourself" she spat at him.

"She won't tell you anythin' if you're just gonna threaten her, Jesus" I was getting frustrated with Rick and Daryl's 'strategies'.

"Put it down" Rick whispered to Daryl. He walked around so they were stood facing each other. "You came here for a reason"

She looked uncomfortable, and she sighed to herself. "There's a town" she looked Rick in the eye. "Woodbury. About 75 survivors, I think they were taken there"

"A whole town?" Rick didn't seem to believe her.

"It's run by this guy who calls himself the Governor. Pretty boy, charming, Jim Jones type"

I laughed "He's sounds like such a tool"

"He got muscle?" Daryl asked, his crossbow still facing the floor.

"Paramilitary wannabes. They have armed sentries on every wall"

"You know a way in?" Rick asked her.

"The place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through"

Rick was still full of doubt. "How'd you know how to get here?"

"They mentioned a prison, said which direction it was in, said it was a straight shot" She told him very-matter-of-fact.

"This is Hershel, father of the girl who was taken. He'll take care of that" He nodded towards her leg and made his way back into the cell block.

Rick filled everyone in on the situation and then the arguments began. "How do you know we can trust her?" Oscar asked.

"This is Maggie and Glenn. Why are we even debatin'?" Beth fought.

"We ain't, I'll go after 'em" Daryl nodded.

"Well, this place sounds pretty secure, you can't go alone" Rick told him.

"I'm down, I think I owe Glenn that much" I stepped up.

"I'll go" Beth agreed.

Axel stepped forward. "Me too"

"I'm in" Oscar nodded.

"I got the flash bangs and I got the tear gas" Daryl told me as we were filling the trunk of the car. "Never know what you're gonna need"

"You got any idea what we're gonna be runnin' into?" I asked him, a little worried.

"Nah, could be a suicide mission for all I know. Might get 'em out easy enough, though"

"Are we gonna go in and kill people?"

"Probably. Why?" He frowned at me.

"I ain't ever killed a person before" I frowned back at him.

"It ain't hard. You don't have to come if you don't want to"

"No, I'm comin'. Just not sure I'll be able to pull the trigger"

"Whatever, just don't be deadweight" With that, he walked off.

I sighed, trying not to think of what might happen later. When I turned around, I saw Beth making her way towards me and my hand shot straight up to my hair to try to flatten it down. I shook my head at the sudden reflex; neither I nor her cared about how I looked. "Hey" She said, stopping in front of me. "You leavin' soon?"

"Yeah, nearly ready" I was really nervous all of a sudden.

She nodded and looked in the distance in thought. Then she took off her necklace and grabbed my hand, placing it in my palm. "Bring it back for me" She closed my fingers and gave me a shy smile. I let my hand flop to the side and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I was quick to grab her waist and it felt like I was holding on for dear life. She began to let go and I regretted doing the same, but before she let me go, she planted a soft kiss on my cheek, letting it linger for a little too long and then we were apart again. My face must have been a nervous wreck because she laughed at me as we stood there looking at each other. Rick and Daryl broke us out of the weird bubble that we were in, everyone was getting in the car I realised. I opened the backseat car door and closed it behind me when I sat down. Beth smiled at me through the window and then the car began to move, leaving Beth in the distance. I opened my now sweaty palm and found Beth's necklace inside. It was a heart pendent, something you'd expect Beth to wear, cute. I carefully placed it in my pocket and stared out the window, waiting to arrive at our destination.

After what seemed to be a half hour drive, Rick stopped the car at the side of the road and we all got out. "They have patrols, we're better off on foot" The woman - who I found out to be called Michonne - told us.

"How far? Night's comin'" Rick looked up and examined the sky.

"It's a mile, maybe two" We emptied out the trunk and made off into the woods, following Michonne.

After a little while of walking, me and Rick were behind the others and he decided to break the silence. "Daryl told me about your... concern"

"Trust me, I'm still capable. I just don't know if I can do it"

"Adam, I trust you" he looked serious. "But in this life, killin' is unavoidable. You gotta kill to survive. You gotta kill to save the people you love. It's hard, but so is livin'"

I thought about what he said for a moment. "I get it. But it's-" I could hear groans, more than a few groans and I'm pretty sure my stomach fell out my ass. "Rick"

Rick heard it too. "Down" He crouched low and everybody followed. Walkers came from north of the trees, a lot of them. "Get in formation, no gunfire" And then he unleashed himself onto the nearest walker. We all followed suit, I pulled out my knife and went to town on whatever walker was closest to me.

"There's too many of 'em" Daryl huffed. They emerged from the threes behind us, groans filled my ears until I could hear nothing more.

"This way" We all followed Rick through an opening, killing walkers that got in our way. "In there, c'mon" Rick pointed to a hut with the door boarded up. We ran to it and luckily, the door was still accessible and we entered, closing the door behind us. "Get down" Rick whispered. Suddenly, a smell hit me like a train. I couldn't put my finger on what it could have been, though.

"That smell, its loud" Daryl was covering his nose.

"That you, Daryl?" I laughed a little, trying to hold my nose and breathe at the same time.

"Shut up, man"

We went deeper into the hut, looking for the source of the smell. "What the hell is that?" Oscar asked.

"It's got to be a fox or what's left of one" Daryl shined his light all over the room when it finally fell on a dead dog lying on its bed. Poor thing. "Guess Lassie went home"

Walkers were banging on the front door now, trying to find their way in. We didn't have long. Rick signaled us to follow him and me and Daryl got our knives out again. Rick's light was shining on a bed, and when he pulled the blanket off, a big guy in a beanie looking like a homeless man jumped up, holding a rifle towards Rick's chest. "Who the hell are you?" he yelled in a heavy Southern accent.

"We don't mean any harm" Rick tried to calm the man.

"Get outta my house!"

"Okay, we will, but we can't right now" Rick explained.

"Now!"

"Shut him up" Michonne frantically whispered.

"Get out! Right now!"

"There are walkers outside"

He looked around at all of us in a panic. "I'll call the cops!" He warned.

"I am a cop. Now, I need you to lower the gun. Don't do anything rash. Let's just take this nice and slow, okay?"

He guy moved the gun up, right in Rick's face. "Show me your badge"

"It's in my pocket. I'm just gonna reach down, nice and slow" and the Rick pushed the guy's gun out of the way, putting him in a headlock. He bit Rick and started yelling, running for the door. Before he could open in, Michonne's sword was in and then out of his chest and he fell to the floor. Blood circled his lifeless body, staining the wooden floor. I couldn't believe that an innocent man was just killed right in front of my eye, but I had to pull myself together, we had to deal with getting away from the walkers right now.

"Remember the Alamo?" Daryl asked Rick.

Rick and Daryl picked up the man. "Help me with the door"

"Rick, what the fuck?" I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"He's dead. Check the back" Oscar ran to the back as I watched Rick and Daryl throw this man's body out of the door and into a crowd of angry walkers, slamming the door behind them. We ran out the back door single file, past the crowd of walkers who were too busy eating the man we just killed to notice us.

It was dark by the time we were sat outside the place Michonne claimed was called Woodbury. There were a few men on watch, one had a spotlight which would be hard to get past. The walls were maybe 20 feet high, making it impossible to jump. "What're we gonna do?" I asked Rick.

Before he could say anything, Michonne ran off on her own, Rick tried to stop her but she didn't listen. "No way we're gonna check in them buildings, not with all them guards there" Daryl watched the guards.

Suddenly, branches snapped behind us and we were quick to draw our weapons. Michonne came from no where, telling us to follow her. And with that, we made our way into Woodbury.


	16. Chapter 16

"This is where you were held?" Daryl asked Michonne as we entered what looked to be a storage room.

"I was questioned" She wasn't a woman of many words.

"Any idea where else they could be?" Rick asked her. Seeing flickering of lights from the other side of the curtain, I moved it aside a little and saw people walking by. Old people, young people, the kind you'd see walking around back when shit was normal.

"I thought you said there was a curfew" Daryl had joined me looking out the window.

"The streets are packed during the day. Those are stragglers"

"If anyone comes in here, we're sittin' ducks. We gotta move" Rick protested.

Rick took Daryl to one side as they whispered back and forth to each other, I had no interest in what they were saying, I just wanted to get Maggie and Glenn and go, this place felt wrong. I kept my hand in my pocket, fidgeting with Beth's necklace to calm my nerves. All of a sudden, there were two knocks and all of our heads snapped to the door. We ran behind cover, quickly but quietly. "I know you're in here" The stranger called out to us. "I saw you movin' from outside. You're not supposed to be in here and you know it"

When he was just about to see us, Rick jumped out and pinned him up against the wall, covering his mouth and holding his gun to his head with his other hand. "Shut up" He threatened. "Get on your knees and hands behind your back" Rick threw the stranger on the floor. Daryl tied his hands behind his back as Rick angrily asked him where our people were.

"I don't know" The man told him as he coward at Rick's every move.

Rick thought for a second. "Open your mouth" the man did as he was told and Rick gagged him with a handkerchief, Daryl brought down his gun, hitting the man hard and knocking him out cold.

"Well, at least you didn't kill him" I said sarcastically as they dragged the man out of view.

All of a sudden, gunfire echoed through the town and panicked screams were on the other side of the door. Rick opened the door and we filed out, I kept my hunting rifle close to my chest. There were people running, not taking notice of us. We followed where the gunshots came from, entering a nearby building. Our guns were ready as we walked down a hallway and Rick stopped at the end of it. I could hear talking, maybe soft crying which could have been Maggie. There was one familiar voice I couldn't put a name to, though. As the people were walking around the corner, Rick and Daryl threw a couple of smoke bombs and they began coughing hysterically. We ran around the corner and they were all on the floor holding their chests. Maggie and Glenn had bags over their heads and I grabbed Maggie's arm, lifting her onto her feet and taking the bag off her head. We ran around the corner and they began shooting at us, but it was too late, we were already out the door. I realised how injured Glenn was as we tried to run. Daryl and Rick were nearly carrying him. His whole face was swollen and he had blood down his bare chest. Maggie was wearing his tee and I didn't want to know why. "Inside, quick" Rick whispered as we entered the closest building. Glenn fell right to the floor as soon as we closed the door behind us and Maggie ran to his side. "How bad are you hurt?" Rick asked him.

"I'll be alright" Glenn winced, clutching his ribs.

"Where's that woman?" Maggie asked.

Rick frantically looked around the room and then out the window. "She was right behind us"

"Want me to look for her?" Daryl readied his crossbow.

"No, we gotta get them outta here. She's on her own"

"Daryl" Glenn half gasped, obviously struggling to keep focus. "This was Merle"

Daryl stopped in his tracks, staring at Glenn. Now I knew who that familiar voice belonged to. "You saw him?" Daryl asked out of disbelief.

"Face to face. Threw a walker at me. He was gonna execute us"

"Does he know I'm still with you?" Daryl's face was still full of shock.

Glenn nodded. "He does now. Rick, I'm sorry, I told him where the prison was"

"No need to apologise" Rick reassured him. "We have to get back, can you walk? We got a car a few miles out"

"I'm good" Glenn's face was scrunched up as Rick and I lifted him to his feet.

"If Merle's around, I need to see him" Daryl panicked as he realised we were leaving.

"Not now, we're in hostile territory" Rick gave him his death stare.

"He's my brother, maybe I can talk to him or somethin'" Daryl was practically begging Rick.

"Look what he did! No matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk. I need you, are you with me?"

Daryl nodded slowly. "Yeah"

"So what's the plan?" Oscar asked as he walked up to the door.

Rick was thinking for a moment when I realised I still have smoke bombs left. I weighed one in my hand, examining it. "Throw a couple out into the street? Feel our way out, easy"

Rick nodded with a slight frown on his face. "It won't be that easy, there's gonna be heavy resistance out there, guns will be pointed at us, so we have to point ours at them"

I frowned, I was waiting for this part to come. "Whatever, just lead the way" I opened the door slowly, not bothering to peek out. I threw out my two smoke bombs and we waited until the smoke was think before we headed out. Everyone's guns were ready, but my palms were sweaty and I couldn't keep a sure grip on mine. My hands were trembling and my legs felt like jelly as we ran down the pavement, not being able to see where we're going. Suddenly light was in my eyes and I heard someone shout before the shooting started. I saw the light coming from Rick's gun as he shot back at them. Screams of pain filled the town and I felt sick. I grabbed Glenn and Maggie and we ran across the street for cover behind a wall. The others followed us, bullets were whistling by my head and hitting the wall behind me.

Daryl began preparing his crossbow and reloading his gun. "You guys go ahead. I'm gonna lay down some cover fire"

"What if you get hit? We won't even know" I worried.

"It's too hairy to be so close together. Besides, I'll catch up. Always do" He got up a threw another smoke bomb and we got up and ran again, leaving Daryl behind. I took Maggie and Glenn to the school bus and Oscar and I were helping Glenn jump over onto the outside street when Oscar went down, falling off the front bonnet. Blood poured from his side and he was already dead. Rick finally joined us and we made it outside the gates, waiting for Daryl who was still inside.

Suddenly, Michonne emerged from the trees behind us covered in blood and looking weak. Rick angrily confronted her, pulling out his gun and aiming it at her head. "Where the hell were you? Put your hands up and turn around" She did as she was told and Rick took the sword from her back. I didn't bother pulling my gun out on her, she already had her chance to kill us.

"Where are the rest of your people?" She asked after sighing.

"They got Oscar and Daryl's missin', have you seen him?" Maggie's voice was full of haste.

She shook her head and Rick lowered his gun, looking furious with her. She noticed and turned her attention to him. "You'll need help to get them back to the prison or go back in there for Daryl. Either way, you need me" Her eyes were pleading, she was desperate.

"She's right, Rick" My voice sounded calmer than I felt.

Rick huffed and walked away.

We made our way back over the school bus undetected. They had their guard down and there were hardly any guards around. The streets were empty but the sound of shouting blew in the wind. With guns at the ready, we followed the sound to an open building. We sat behind cover and watched as Merle was kicking Daryl on the ground as the townspeople watched and cheered. Rage filled inside me but I knew there was nothing I could do. If I intervened they'd kill me, and I didn't want to kill anyone. They brought walkers out on leashes, bring them close enough to Daryl and Merle that they were trying to grab them. Merle helped Daryl up from the ground all of a sudden and the pair began fighting the walkers. Maggie took aim just as one nearly got Daryl and then the screaming began once again. She shot again but this time, she hit a young girl who fell straight to the ground. I threw my last smoke bomb as people were running around. I shot all the lights out and everyone became blind. Walkers were let off their leashes so I thought I'd make myself useful and shoot a couple. Daryl and Merle finally showed themselves and we grabbed them and made a run for it. Behind them, the man I believed to be the Governor was slowly making his way toward us, walking through the smoke and killing walkers without even looking, his eye trained on us. His other eye was bandaged and bloody. We ran out and the others were shooting behind us, but all of a sudden, blinding pain began shooting through my left shoulder and I must've fallen to the ground because I could see the sky. Maggie was hunched over me and screaming something but I couldn't hear anything. The only thing I could focus on was the pain and the feel of warm liquid beginning to cover my body. Daryl pulled me up from the ground and pushed me through what must've been the hole Merle made in the fence. Everything was spinning, I was moving faster than I'd liked. I just wanted to lay on the floor and give up, the pain was unbearable. And then all I could see was trees, people putting their faces in front of mine, checking on me. I looked down and my white tee was now fully red. That's when I blacked out.

Maggie was looking down at me when I opened my eyes, she looked worried. The vibrations of the car was making my shoulder hurt even more. My whole body felt wet with blood but I didn't bother to look down. "You're gonna be okay" I felt her hand push back my hair a little as she tried to calm me. "We're gonna go and get you to Beth, you just gotta stay with us"

Beth. My mind suddenly cleared for a second at the sound of her name. My good arm reached down to my pocket and fumbled before pulling out the necklace she gave me. I lifted it up so I could see it without moving my head and relaxed a little at the piece of Beth I had with me. Maggie smiled when she saw the necklace. "Yeah, we'll get you to her" I tried to smile back at her but pain took over again and I blacked out once more.

I opened my eyes to see the bottom of a mattress. I looked around frantically and the pain came back to me and I grunted. "Easy now" It was Hershel's voice calming me. I was back in my bunk and Hershel was wiping blood from his hands. I looked down at my bare chest which was covered in dry blood. My shoulder was bandaged up and had finally stopped bleeding and my arm was in a cast. The pain was making my vision blurry but it felt better than earlier. "You're lucky, the bullet went clean through. Beth helped me clean it and stitch it up" Hershel informed me. "Speakin' of, she's goin' to want to know you're awake" He grabbed his crutch and lifted himself up, leaving me to sweat in my bed.

She must've rushed to get to me as soon as Hershel told her because she was by my side in an instant. Her face was full of worry as she looked at my bloodied body but I couldn't help but smile at her. "Told you I'd be back" My laugh turned into a cough. She laughed and me and gave me a hug, making me winch at the pain in my shoulder.

"Sorry" She said nervously.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out her necklace and handing it out to her. "I believe this is your's"

She laughed again and put it back around her neck where it belonged. She stared at me for a while, and I was glad I was able to stare back at her. "I was so worried" She admitted, tears forming in her eyes.

"I know" I used my good hand to touch her cheek. "I ain't goin' anywhere, Pidge" She brought her head down and rested it on my chest and I kissed her hair, rubbing circles on her back. "At least I'm gonna have a badass scar, though" She laughed and hugged me around my waist this time. Her touch on my bare skin was driving me crazy, even when my body was broken and sore. I would have never been able to sleep with the pain I'm forced to endure, but somehow with Beth holding me, I drifted off.


	17. Chapter 17

The heat was becoming unbearable. I felt it throughout the night but I was too out of it to do anything about it. I opened my eyes, blinking away the sleepiness and found the source of the heat. What was unbearable was now a welcome sight, Beth was tucked into my right side, her arm draped over my chest. Her brow was slightly furrowed, she was obviously in some sort of deep dream. I rested my head back into my pillow, accepting the fact that I won't be moving an inch any time soon. You wouldn't think that Beth and I were a millisecond away from kissing. It still makes me mad to think about because I still don't know if Beth even wanted me to kiss her or if she was going to kiss me back. Or if she knew herself. I find my mind constantly going back to Marley and how much I loved her. On one hand, I didn't want to risk losing someone so close to me again. On the other, I didn't care. I felt guilty, though. Guilty because somewhere along the line, I fell in love with Beth Greene. Guilty because I should be feeling about Marley this way, not Beth.

Beth's stirs pulled me out of my thoughts and I look down to find her rubbing her eyes. "Hey" My voice was rough, I coughed hoping I'd sound a little healthier.

Beth looked up at me in surprise as if she'd forgotten I was here. Her eyes softened when her brain clicked though and she gave me a small smile. "Hey" She sat up and pushed loose strand of her hair back. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to know you had a bad dream"

She looked down at my shoulder and then back up to my face. "Don't worry about it"

I didn't want to pry. "So did you mean to sleep here or was it an accident?" I smirked at her, noticing she was still fully clothed from yesterday.

"As you can see, it was an accident" She directed at her clothes. "Speakin' of which, I gotta go and get dressed. You need anythin'?" She stood up, taking off her denim jacket.

"Nah, I'm good" She smiled and left my cell.

20 seconds of silence and staring up at the mattress above me was all it took for me to get fed up. I could hear the clatter of spoons against bowls outside my cell and my stomach groaned along to the sound. I breathed in and out heavily, mentally preparing myself for what came next. I sat up faster that I should have and pain rippled through my body, making me sweat more than I already was. I chewed on my bottom lip, not wanting to groan incase Beth came back in and forced me back into bed. I looked down at my shoulder to see it had bled recently, but not much. With my one good arm, I pushed my body so my feet were touching the ground. I winced at the pain, not being able to hold it in. I scooted forward and grabbed the top bunk, pulling myself up to a standing position. The pain was almost unbearable but I couldn't stay in bed any longer. I rested my forehead on the top bunk and waited to the pain wave to pass. I felt dizzy and I should probably get back into bed, but I really, really wanted some food. Once the wave passed, I remembered that all I was wearing was my shorts. I looked at a t-shirt next to bed that Carol must have washed and decided not to even attempt putting it on. It's not like they haven't all seen me shirtless. I gripped onto my cell bars and shuffled out.

Everyone was sitting around eating breakfast. Maggie sat with Glenn at the table, close together. Glenn's face was swollen and bruised, not looking all that great. Carl was sat on the steps holding ass kicker, or Judith Carl decided to name her. Carol and Beth, who now wore her loose, grey vest top, were finishing off breakfast in an oversized pot. Hershel was hobbling along the floor, making his way to the table. Daryl and Rick weren't around, though and I wasn't even sure if Michonne was still with us. I remember Merle being with us, too, but I wouldn't be surprised if Rick had killed him by now. I coughed, making my entry known. "I can't believe you guys let me nearly starve to death" Wide eyes looked back at me. Happy eyes, but shocked.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Beth stormed over to me. "You're supposed to be in bed" She seemed happy I was back to normal a little, but irritated nevertheless. She put my arm around her shoulders and supported my weight a little, holding me by the waist. Carol quickly made her way over to me before I sat down, being careful not to hug me too hard, kissing me on the cheek. Beth sat me down in front of Glenn who nodded at my arrival. Beth brought over a bowl of chicken noodle soup and it was gone before she sat next to me. I still felt dizzy so it was probably best not to have seconds yet.

I looked up at Glenn who seemed deep in thought. No one was in the highest spirits today. "Where's Daryl? I was expectin' some kind of asshole comment by now"

Glenn's eyes snapped out of their lazy haze and found mine, quickly averting to Carol for help. I frowned and looked at Carol who sighed and crossed her arms. "Daryl's gone"

I stared at her and then looked back at Glenn who was now looking at me again with an emotionless expression. "What do you mean he's gone?" I asked out of disbelief.

"Rick gave him and choice, he chose Merle" Glenn answered, his face mirroring disgust.

My mouth was ajar as I stared at Glenn, I couldn't believe it. I've known Daryl ever since I was rescued in Atlanta, he couldn't be gone. I opened my mouth again to talk but I realised I had nothing to say.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the group, it was as if I brought a dark cloud along with me from my cell and hung it over us. "Rick?"

Glenn seemed fed up. "We had some visitors when we got back. After we took care of you, we took care of them. Rick yelled at them to get out. We're lucky they weren't psychos, they did as they were told without problem. Ever since then, he's been outside the prison, we're not sure what he's looking for yet. But it's like he was after he found out..." He didn't finish his sentence, and didn't have to.

By the way he told me I knew he wasn't happy about it. From a moral point of view, I wasn't either but I hadn't even met them. Rick was becoming more and more unhinged, though. I could tell the group were really worrying now.

I stood up and wobbled a little but rebalanced myself immediately, reassuring Beth that I can make it back to my cell by myself. Once alone, I picked up my white tee and thought about how hard this would be. I unhooked my arm from the cast strapped around my neck to my regret. I fell backwards onto my bunk, the pain making my vision blurry. I shut my eyes as hard as I could, waiting for the wave of pain to pass. "What're you doin'?" Beth asked quietly as she sat next to me, placing her hand on my bare back. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"I can't just lie here, useless. I gotta get dressed" I said through half clenched teeth.

"Adam, you just got shot, you ain't goin' anywhere!" She was mad at me, that was clear.

"Beth, please..." the pain wouldn't let me speak, she was probably right. But I didn't care.

I heard her sigh, she grabbed the t-shirt from my grip and carefully removed the cast from around my neck. She slid the tee over my head and I threw my right arm through the sleeve, impatient for the forthcoming pain. Beth gently took my arm in her hand, getting the sleeve ready in the other. It didn't hurt as much because I wasn't using many muscles, but the striking pain in my chest was still unbearable. I tried not to let the heavy grunts escape my clenched teeth but I couldn't stop them. I was gripping onto the bar at the bottom of my bunk so hard I thought it would snap in half. All of a sudden, I felt warmth on my torso and I finally opened my eyes, finding that I was clothed. I let out a heavy breath, glad that was over. "Are you sure I can't bribe you to get into bed?" She had a mischievous smile spread across her face as she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder, waiting for my response.

I laughed at her sudden playful mood. "What'd you have in mind?"

"You get in bed and I'll stay with you for a whole week"

"A whole week?" I feigned astonishment.

"Yep" Her smile was infectious.

Did she want this as much as I did, or did she just really want me to get better? I wondered if she had any idea how much I was in love with her. I wondered if she felt the same, even a little. I sighed and looked into her big blue eyes. "That's temptin'" what an understatement. "I hate myself for sayin' no" She frowned a little, lifting her head from my shoulder. "No matter how hurt I am, this group needs me. Daryl's gone, Rick's chasing ghosts through the forest. I can't sit on the sidelines while we all fall apart"

"I get it" She said after a while. "But I really thought that was gonna work" I laughed at her. She helped me stand up and put my arm back on my cast, making it feel a little better. She smiled at me and took my hand in hers, leading me out of the cell. My heart became heavy at the touch and my whole body felt like it was on fire, I longed for more of Beth's touch. Why did I feel so helpless about it, though?

Glenn had drawn a map of the prison on the floor and him and Carl were examining it. "We secured this area" Glenn's voice was filled with worry.

"Tyreese thought he came through here" Carl pointed. Beth and I sat down with the others who watched.

Glenn sighed. "Means there's another breach" I didn't like the sound of another breach, how unsafe were we this time? "The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men" I've never seen Glenn look so hollow.

"Why are we even so sure he's goin' to attack? Maybe you scared him off" Beth said, her innocence made me smile a little and I squeezed her hand.

"He had a fish tank full of heads. Walkers and humans, trophies. He's comin'" Michonne pipped up from the corner. I was surprised to see she was still with us, she seemed more the lone wolf type.

"I take back my original statement of him soundin' like a tool. Psychopath is probably a better word" I tried to make light heart of things, but everyone's grim looks remained the same.

"We should hit him now" Glenn looked like he was thirsty for revenge. "He won't be expecting it, we'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head"

"We're not assassin's" Carol sarcastically stated.

"You know where his apartment is" He ignored Carol and spoke to Michonne. "You and I could end this tonight" he was practically begging her. "I'll do it myself"

Michonne didn't say anything, she only nodded. Hershel joined us and began speaking immediately. "He didn't know you were comin' last time and look what happened. Adam was almost killed, Daryl captured, and you and Maggie were almost executed"

"You can't stop me" Glenn told him in a kind of threatening tone.

"Rick would never allow this"

"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?"

"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori, too. The men that were here. It isn't worth any more killin'. What are we waitin' for? If he's really on his way, we should be outta here by now" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"And go where?" Glenn frowned.

"We lived on the road all winter"

"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours"

"Glenn's right, we can't go anywhere, we're not strong enough"

"We're not strong enough to stay, either" Hershel made his argument.

"Yeah, T-Dog, Lori and the rest died here. That's more the reason to stay. If we leave, they died for nothin'" I was getting angry now, I had no intention of leaving.

Hershel fell quiet and Glenn spoke once again. "Alright, we'll stay put and make a stand" Hershel didn't look happy but he had no argument left. Glenn went back to his map "Carl, you and I will go down to the tombs, we need to figure out where the breach is"

"You got it" Carl seemed happy to be needed.

Glenn opened his mouth, ready to speak again but I saw something click in his mind and he looked around at all of us. "Who's on watch?" He asked angrily. He then got up and stormed off.

Glenn and Carl were deep in the tombs, presumably clearing out walkers. I decided to stay put until they got back, I had to keep myself busy until then. The baby woke up recently so Beth is busy with her. Before I joined her though, I remembered I had something to do. In my cell, I picked up the piece of cloth that I had tied to the unused top bunk and held it, making my way to Carol's cell. She was tying her shoelaces, looking like she was ready to leave. "Hey" A smile spread across my face as soon as I entered, we hadn't really had the chance to speak since she came back from the dead and I'd missed her a lot.

She gave me a big smile in return. "Hi"

I sat down next to her. "We found this back when I thought you were... you know" I held out the scarf Daryl and I had found next to T-Dog's mangled body.

She took it and examined it, she laughed a little. "I thought I'd finally got rid of this thing" I laughed at her and shook my head. "I'm kidding, thank you" She gave me another smile, but her face slowly dropped as she looked at me, I didn't know why though. She held it back out to me "You should keep it, though"

I took it from her, glad to have a piece of her to keep even though she obviously doesn't like it. "I was hoping you'd say that, it really matches my eyes" We laughed together and she pulled me into a hug. We sighed into each other, I was just really relieved to have her back. She was probably relieved to be back.

I found Beth in her cell, trying to get Judith to quit crying. I laughed a little as I sat next to her, watching her struggle holding the screaming baby, trying to give her a bottle. "You can help, y'know" She gave me the dirtiest look she could muster, but even that was cute.

I put my good hand up in defense. "I got no idea what I'm doin', don't ask me"

Judith finally took to the bottle, becoming immediately quiet as she sucked on the teat. "It's easy" She gloated. "You wanna try?"

"Nah, I don't really do babies" I admitted.

"How can you not like babies? They're so cute" She whispered as Judith drank her milk.

"Yeah, when they ain't screamin'" Babies never really like me back either, but I don't really want to admit that.

"You'll warm up to her, I'll be makin' sure of that" She smiled the smile that made my heart ache.

I heard a gate open and then Glenn's voice, so I got up to follow it. Beth stayed to put Judith down to sleep. Glenn and Carl were caked in blood when I found them, they had obviously took out at least a dozen walkers while down there.

"We're wastin' time, the Governor's supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers" Hershel was obviously pissed off at whatever Glenn said before I joined them.

"For the last time, running isn't an option"

"Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here" Carol worried.

"What if one of them herds in passin' through? Or settled?" Axel finally spoke up.

"Can't handle that with just the few of us"

"We need to scout the far side of the prison, find out what's going on. I'll take a car, Maggie will help" Glenn in charge was weird. Maybe he could do it another time but right now, he was too blood thirsty. Glenn left us, probably to go and talk to Maggie.

Using my gun with only one hand proved to be harder than I thought it would be. I stood in the by the cells, practicing to reload my gun and aim. Using my left hand to help reload caused more pain that I needed, so I tried to avoid it as much as possible. My aiming didn't seem too shaky, but it could be a problem if I was forced to shoot. I realised a few people crowded Beth's cell, so I took and break, placing my gun and ammo on the table to go and join them. Carol was leaning on the cell door so I stood next to her and peered inside. Carl, Axel and Beth were cooing over the new baby girl in Beth's arms. Carol smiled to me and then back to them. Axel sat next to Beth, questioning her. "You got little sisters?"

"No" Beth told him, her attention on Judith.

"How old are you, anyway?" That got my blood boiling, I realised he was flirting with her.

"17" She replied. I made my way forward to intervene, ready to take his head off but Carol stopped me. She called Axel out of the cell to speak with him and I sat down next to Beth. Carl made his way out, too, looking uncomfortable. "You ain't gotta do that, you know"

This shocked me a little, I didn't think she'd noticed. I shrugged "I just wanna keep you away from creeps like that"

She shook her head and smiled. "I can look after myself"

"I know, but I can't help feeling protective over you. You're too good for a world like this"

She looked at me for the second time since I came into her cell. She looked confused "Is that really what you think?"

I slowly nodded. "You deserve a lot better than this, Beth" I was whispering now, I hoped she didn't hear it out of embarrassment. But she did. She didn't say anything, though, all she did was rest her forehead on my shoulder affectionately.

"You do too" I wouldn't have heard her had I not been concentrating on her whole being. I wished she wasn't holding Judith so I could tell her exactly how I felt, so I could kiss her and show her how much I needed her.

I went out to the front yard with Carl and Beth to practice shooting. Carl said he would help me and I don't really know why Beth tagged along. We stayed by the entrance to the yard, not bothering with walkers yet. Before we could start, though, Axel's head exploded onto Carol's face a few feet away from us and Beth grabbed my arm out of fear. Axel's body brought Carol down to the floor with it and the gunfire wouldn't stop after that. Carol shielded herself from the bullets by using Axel's now lifeless body. I couldn't help her at the moment because the bullets were trying to find us and I had to help Beth. I grabbed her hand and ran, taking cover behind a nearby crate. Carl followed us, always shooting behind him. There was a car down by the main gate of the prison, 4 or 5 men surrounded it, relentlessly shooting at us. Not as many bullets were flying past my ears behind the crate but Carol was still stuck behind Axel's body, bullets flying into his back. "Beth, here!" Maggie came running out of cell block C, handing a assault rifle to Beth. She tried to give me one but I said no, I wouldn't be able to hold it anyway.

"Asshole on the tower!" I shouted to her over the loud noise of bullets hitting metal. She nodded and took cover, I joined her on her left. "We gotta distract him, get him off Carol" She nodded once more and started shooting at him, I did the same. The guy on the tower had no choice but to stop shooting at Carol and take cover.

"Carol, go!" Maggie shouted to her. Carol got up and ran, joining Beth and Carl a few feet away from us. I ran for better cover to see the guys by the car and tried to aim my gun. My hands were shaky and I couldn't keep the gun still. Killing a person wasn't in my nature and never will be. I ducked behind cover and rested my forehead on the piece of wood in front of me, feeling like giving up, feeling useless. Maggie ran over to me and put her hand on my good arm as if to stop the shaking. Bullets flew past the top of my head but I didn't really care. I looked behind my and Beth was watching me, she nodded when our eyes met and I got a sudden wave of bravery. I held my gun in my hand, ready to begin shooting but all of a sudden, the shooting stopped. The breeze of bullets was no longer hitting my face, and it was too quiet. Maggie looked at me, confused. The sound of a car approaching made us stiffen up. Was Glenn coming back or was it someone else? A white and orange van came into view and at full speed it pushed its way into the prison, taking down both of the main gates, leaving the yard exposed. After nearly hitting Michonne, the van stopped in the middle of the yard, smoke rising from the over heated tires. Everyone watched as the van sat there, waiting for something. My anxiety grew with every second, my shaking uncontrollable. I saw that Hershel was still in the yard, maybe 30 feet from the van, lying on the floor and trying not to be seen. A kind of ramp dropped from the van's rear and hit the floor with a loud thud and I thought men with guns were going to come pouring out. But I realised it was worse as a couple of dozen walkers fell out, groaning filling the silence around us. Some had already noticed Hershel and the shooting began again as the person that was driving the van made their escape, making us unable to keep the walkers off Hershel. I heard Rick shout at Hershel from the other side of the gate but couldn't make out what he was saying over the sound of gunfire and groans. Maggie killed the guy in the tower and I was finally able to shoot at walkers. I was still useless, though. My shakes were making it hard to get headshots, I was hitting a lot of chests and making them angrier.

The Governor and his men rushed to get in their truck and drove off, passing another vehicle that I recognised, meaning Glenn was back. Beth and the others rushed to get the yard gate open to get Hershel and Michonne inside. I followed, hoping I was a better aim the closer I got. Michonne was slicing off heads as she passed, trying hard to get to Hershel. Glenn parked right beside him and got him and Michonne in the truck and away from the walkers, bringing them to us. Carl shut the gate behind them and Maggie and Beth rushed to their father. I put my gun in my back pocket as I looked down at the mess the Governor had made. How could one asshole do all of this? The yard was filled with walkers and with both gates down, it would get a lot worse than this. I sighed out of exasperation, realised half of the work we put into this place was now useless with the yard down, we were a lot less safe now. Beth came up beside me, looking onto the mess as well. She took my unsteady hands in hers and squeezed, I began to calm down immediately. And then I wondered. If it came down to it, could I kill the Governor? I hoped so.


	18. Chapter 18

**Just fyi, Shumpert got his head chopped off by Michonne instead of Crowley because Crowley seems like a real nasty character so it'll fit in with my story. Also, under a week until season 6, I'm so damn excited like omg**

Daryl was back. But he had brought Merle with him, who Rick locked in the common room. The first time I met Merle, maybe an hour after I was rescued back in Atlanta, we got into a fight. I was young, immature and angry at the world and he was a dick, we didn't mix well. We didn't really talk after that, only quiet insults. It was worth having him around if it meant Daryl was back, though.

We regrouped in cell block C, glad no one was hurt aside from Axel. Everyone was scared now, though. With the impending threat of the Governor, they wanted to try their luck on the road. "We're not leavin'" Rick told the group.

"We can't stay here" Hershel voiced his never-changing opinion. I sat on the stairs, resting my head on the bannister and waited for the arguing to stop.

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running" Glenn fought Rick's battle.

"No, better to live like rats" I opened my eyes at Merle's comment. He was stood at the gate, watching us.

"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him, he didn't sound like he was waiting for a serious answer, though.

"Yeah, shoulda slid outta here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we?" Merle replied. "I'm sure he's got scouts on every road outta this place by now"

"We ain't scared of that prick" Daryl told his brother.

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringin' the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to" I hated to admit it, but Merle was making sense.

"Let's put him in the other cell block" Maggie was obviously unnerved.

"No, he's got a point" Daryl defended Merle.

"I said we should leave" Hershel said, out of no where. "Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here" He was angry, now. Rick began to walk away but Hershel stopped him. "Get back here!" He screamed after him. Rick stopped dead in his tracks but didn't turn around as Hershel stood behind him. "You're slippin', Rick. We've all seen it, we understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy and now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands, so get your head clear and do something" I've never seen Hershel so angry and harsh.

After that sudden outburst, I got up without saying a word to anyone and made my way to the yard to go on watch. Merle didn't look at me as I brushed past him, probably not recognising me.

I was on lookout behind the gates of the C block entrance that we boarded up enough not to be seen. I looked onward to the walker infested yard and breathe a shaky sigh, how the hell are we gonna sort this mess out? I picked up the sniper rifle that was leaning against the fence and leaned on end through a gap in the fence and the other on my shoulder, thankful I'll only be needing to use the scope. I watched the treelines for anything suspicious but all that was out there were walkers looking for dinner.

Beth didn't take long to follow me, although 20 minutes is a little slow for her. She stood next to me but I kept my eye on the scope, ignoring her for a reason I didn't know. I could feel her watching me and it made me nervous as hell. "Are you okay?" The worry in her voice was blatant enough for me to put the sniper down and look down at her.

I looked down at my feet and frowned. "Just a little restless, I guess"

She frowned back at me, realising something is wrong. "What is it?" Her voice was demanding and stern Beth kinda scared me.

I sighed, she always knew how to get everything out of me. "I couldn't protect you when I had to. With this damn shoulder, I could hardly shoot myself let alone something on the other side of the prison. I've never wanted to kill a person more than I did back then, because I could see how much they wanted to end the life I want to be apart of so much" The last part slipped out a little and my throat got tight but I couldn't stop there. I dropped my voice a little and carried on "Without you, I would be dead, Beth. I don't think you realise how important you are to me" I sighed again, out of relief and fear to what she would reply.

All she did was stare. By every second passing my ears became more and more numb to the sound of groaning and focused on the shaky breathing of Beth Greene. Her lips were slightly parted and I could tell she didn't know what to say. I closed my eyes, ready to embrace the impending rejection and I flinched when I heard a shuffle, meaning she was moving. But I realised there was no rejection when her lips gently met mine. Adrenaline suddenly cursed through my veins and my heart began to race at the warmth of her lips. Before I could even kiss her back she pulled away, though. I opened my eyes to see a slightly fearful Beth, she looked like she couldn't believe what she had just done.

"Beth-" I was ready to get it all out but she cut me off.

"I'm sorry" She then rushed back inside, leaving my lips tingling to themselves.

The last hour I didn't even bother to look up to see if we were being attacked or anything, I could only replay the feel of her lips on mine over and over again. I wish I had had longer so I could've shown her how I actually felt instead of just standing there like an idiot. I was just grateful she felt that way about me at all. But then I worried that she didn't feel that way about me at all. Maybe she ran off because she didn't even mean to kiss me. All I knew is that when our lips touched something happened to me and I needed more.

Maggie smiled at me as she shut the door behind her, rifle in hand. "You even keepin' watch?" She laughed, squinting in the sun.

I laughed back at her. "No, not really. My brain is runnin' wild right now" I admitted. I propped the sniper back into a gap in the fence and rested it on my shoulder again, back to watching the treelines. Maggie did the same with the binoculars around her neck after she rested her rifle on her back.

"Did somethin' happen with Beth earlier?" The question made me jump a little, cause the gun to nearly fall off my shoulder. I was all of a sudden nervous at how Beth had reacted when she got back in the cell block.

"What? Why?" I asked faster than I wanted to.

She looked me in the eye with a bit of a frown on her face, probably suspicious now. "When she came back in she started actin' weird" She went back to the binoculars as she waited for an answer.

"Beth kissed me" I blurted out, keeping my eye on the scope. I saw Maggie's head snap my way, she was just as shocked as I was. She never said anything, though and we both watched the treelines in silence.

"You see that?" She asked after a while.

I followed the treeline to the left and found a walker with something around its neck. As I looked closer, there was something behind it. Not a walker, but a person. A short woman with blonde hair.

"Andrea" Maggie informed me.

I put my rifle down and looked at her, taking the binoculars off of her. "Get Rick and the others" I then made my way out onto the courtyard when walkers began to groan at the sight of me. I looked down the binoculars to see that she was entering the yard through the busted entrance. She had a walker on a leash, just like the ones Hershel used back at the barn. This walker was fucked up, though. It's jaw was missing, along with both of its arms.

As I watched Andrea ascend up the yard, Rick and the others were quick to come out armed to the teeth. They got behind the nearest car and looked down their scopes. "Adam, get back here!" Rick ordered me.

"It's just Andrea, chill" I rolled my eyes.

"Clear" I heard Merle shout as I watched Andrea near the gates.

"Are you alone?" Rick called out to her.

"Open the gates" It was weird to hear Andrea's voice again after so long.

"Are you alone?" Rick asked her again, angrily this time.

"Open the damn gates!" I yelled at Rick who just looked at me and then threw Daryl the keys. The gate was opened and Andrea threw her pet walker to the side and ran in, Daryl closed it hard behind her.

"Hands up! Turn around!" Rick forced her up the gate and started frisking her. She didn't protest, but from her face this wasn't the greeting she had expected. This wasn't the greeting I wanted her to have. "I asked if you were alone" Rick said, his voice low and threatening as he ripped her backpack from her shoulders forcefully.

"I am" She answered out of disbelief.

After he was sure she had nothing on her, he grabbed her arm and began escorting her inside. "Welcome back" He said to her in a not too cheery tone.

Once inside, Andrea was immediately embraced by Carol. "After you saved me, we thought you were dead" Carol informed her.

Leaving the embrace, Andrea took a minute to survey the area. She looked around at each and every one of us, gasping at the sight of Hershel's none existent leg. "Where's Shane?" She asked. She looked confused when no one answered but it soon clicked. "And Lori?"

Rick looked down when she asked, not able to look in the eye. "She had a girl" Hershel answered for him. "She didn't survive"

"Neither did T-Dog" I was suddenly uncomfortable at the verbal visit to our everlasting graveyard.

"I'm so sorry" She had every right to be upset after hearing about old friends dying. "Rick" She began to make her way to him but he quickly stepped back, making it clear he didn't want her near him. "So you all live here?" She made small talk.

"Here and in the cell block" Glenn answered, Andrea looked relieved someone had answered at all.

"There? Can I go in?" She started to make her way to the cell block but Rick stepping in front of her, cutting her off.

"I won't allow that" I shook my head at that, he was being a pure dick.

"I'm not an enemy, Rick"

"We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up"

"He said you fired first" She stated, confused.

"Well he's lyin'"

"He killed an inmate who survived in here" Hershel reminded us all of Axel.

"And we liked him, he was one of us" I found it hard to believe Daryl liked anybody.

"Yeah, that Governor prick killed him, not Andrea. So stop with the fucking grief" I was sick of Andrea being treated worse than a stranger.

Andrea gave me a nod and carried on. "I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shootout" She defended herself.

"That was days ago" Glenn said accusingly.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could" She seemed confused. She looked around at everyone looking panicky before turning around to face Michonne angrily. "What have you told them?"

"Nothing" Michonne replied calmly as she leaned on the wall.

"I don't get it, I left Atlanta with you people, and now I'm the odd man out?" She seemed frustrated, now and I couldn't help but feel bad for her.

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us" Glenn was on a roll of accusations today.

"With his finger on the trigger" She pointed towards Merle who had a smug look wiped across his face. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" Glenn was quiet after the one. "Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here to bring us together. We have to work this out-"

"There's nothin' to work out" Rick cut her off. "We're gonna kill him" His face was scarily serious. "I don't know how or when, but we will"

"We can settle this" Andrea replied, always determined. "There is room at Woodbury for all of you"

Merle laughed at that. "You know better than that"

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?" Hershel piped up. "Did he say that?"

"No"

"Then why did you come here?" I hated this cold side of Rick.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified, they see you as killers. They're training to attack"

"I'll tell you what" Daryl sat at the table with his feet propped up, holding his crossbow. "Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye"

"We've taken too much shit for too long, he wants a war, he's got one" I didn't like this cold side of Glenn, either.

"Rick, if you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town" She turned around and addressed the rest of us with a pitiful look spread across her face. "Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore"

"You want to make this right? Get us inside" Rick demanded.

"No" I sighed at the ongoing fight.

"Then we got nothin' to talk about"

"There are innocent people!" They spoke at the same time.

With that, Rick stormed out, slamming the gate behind him.

The cries of Judith began echoing through the room after the loud noise and my mind immediately ran back to Beth and the kiss. My palms became sweaty again so I wiped them on my pants. I probably looked as nervous as I felt. I looked around to check on Andrea who was deep in conversation with Carol and noticed everyone slowly filing back into the cell block so I followed, on my way to find Beth. I stopped myself before we could see each other through the bars, realising that it was a bad idea. I quickly escaped from out of the open and into the safety of my cell, wiping my forehead.

I noticed the blood stain on my shoulder and wondered how long I had bled for. Realising I could ask Beth to help me at this weirdly awkward time, I decided to take matters into my own hands for once. I threw my cast off and sat down on the bed, pulling my arm through my tee and pushing it over my head. I was painful getting it off my arm but not as painful as it was. As I was taking the dirty dressing off, I could hear the sound of crutches approaching me. I looked up to see a smiling Hershel making his way to take a seat next to me. "You look like you've never done this before" He leant his crutches on the side of my bed and carried on with the job I was struggling with.

"That's because it's true" I laughed a little.

"Why didn't you just wait until Beth was available?" He asked as he focused on my shoulder.

I shrugged a little and practically hissed at the pain, realising I was a dumbass. "Independence" He laughed at me.

I looked down at the wound as Hershel cleaned it and it finally looked like it was starting to heal, but I must have knocked it in the gun fight which explains the blood. "You gotta start bein' more careful, son" Hershel gave me that stern look of his.

All I could do was put my head down and say "Yes sir"

As he was redressing my wound, he looked up at me with a serious look in his eye. "I know somethin' is goin' on with you and my daughter" I felt my face drop as I stared at the ground. Too scared to look at his face, I waited for what came next. "I would just like to let you know that you have my consent. You're a good man, Adam"

I met his gaze then, it felt like that was exactly what I needed to hear. "Thank you, sir" I replied, still nervous. "But I don't think there's much to consent to" I admitted sadly.

"I can assure you there is. But I consent you tryin', at least" He smiled at me once again, grabbed his crutches and hopped out of my cell. I felt like half of the weight had been lifted from my broken shoulders. The next half to relieve myself from was the Beth situation. I stood up and grabbed my plaid shirt just as Andrea stopped herself in the doorway of my cell. The sight of her brought a smile to my face, I had forgotten she was here for a moment.

She smiled back but it went away as fast as it came when her eyes dropped to my dressings. I quickly pulled on my shirt and began doing up the buttons. I didn't hurt as much to use my left arm anymore so I thought it'd be okay to lost the cast. "What happened there?"

"I got shot just as we were escapin' Woodbury. Looked like your average white dude with a bandana and a goatee"

She sighed and her eyes dropped to the floor. "Crowley" She told me.

"You know him?" I asked, surprised for a minute, forgetting she lives with the enemy.

She nodded and took a seat on my bunk. "I'm so sorry about that"

I frowned and shook my head "Don't" I told her as I sat down next to her. "It's not your fault, you didn't even know. Just please tell me this Crowley dude is an asshole"

She laughed a breathy laugh. "Yeah, he's defiantly an asshole"

"I'm really sorry people are bein' so cold, we ain't as trustin' as we used to be"

"I get it, you guys have your reasons" She almost looked sad as she said it. "I better get going" She stood up and I followed her, she pulled me into a tight hug and I almost didn't let her go.

"We're gonna see each other soon, right?"

She gave me a smile. "Of course"

I didn't leave my cell after Andrea left. It was either because of the way I felt like I really wouldn't see her again or because I wanted to give Beth her space. No one bothered me as I wallowed in self-pity, which was probably a bad thing since my mind was a self-destructive place right now. I lay on my back with my arm slung over in my face so if someone did happen to walk by, they didn't have to see the state I was in right now.

The room outside my cell was silent but I knew near enough everybody was out there. I could always hear footsteps or slight movements. My mind grew silent along with it when I heard Beth begin to sing. I didn't know what she was singing and I didn't care, it was beautiful and for some unknown reason, it made me feel hope. I propped myself up onto my elbow to see Beth and a couple of others sitting around a lantern on the floor, the couple I could see watched her as she sung with her angelic voice. I sighed and lay back down, hoping it would never end.

It did, though. I could hear shuffles and whispered good nights, meaning everyone was going to be asleep soon and so would I. I really didn't want to sleep though, knowing what my brain would have in store for me. "Adam?" My heart began to pound at the sound of her quiet voice already.

I quickly moved my arm once more to see Beth lingering in the doorway, looking more nervous than usual. "Hey"

"I didn't wanna wake you" Her voice was getting quieter with every word she spoke.

"It's cool, I wasn't asleep" I sat up, hoping she would join me on the bed.

"I thought we better... talk" She did as I hoped, sitting as far away from me as possible, though. My heart tightened at the words she spoke but I kept a brave face. "I'm sorry about earlier. For... kissin' you. And then runnin' away. I kinda spooked myself" She didn't take her eyes off of her fidgeting fingers. "I just got the sudden urge to do it. You said some really nice stuff and I just kinda... didn't think. You're such a good guy" She laughed a little as she said the last part.

I could tell she was waiting for a reaction, her eyes kept shifting to the corner of her eyes, not directly looking at me. But I was in shock, I had waited for this conversation all day but I could have never predicted this outcome. She was sorry for kissing me. She probably thought I hated her for it or something. Oh, Beth. "Uh... that's okay" was all I could muster, even though I was buzzing on the inside. Her face didn't change much, but I carried on before it did. "It wasn't much of a first kiss, anyway" I decided to take the smart ass route.

She finally met my eyes with confusion. "What?"

"Well, you kinda ran away before I could even kiss you back, Beth" I smirked.

Her confused frown faded as it was replaced with a grin that went from ear to ear. She hid her face in her hands out of embarrassment and I shuffled closer to her. "Sorry about that" She laughed, back to watching herself fidget with her hands.

"You should be" We laughed together. I watched her fidget for a while, finding a calm in it. Then I realised we'd been here before, after she tried to commit suicide on the barn. I frowned at the memory and shook it off, needing to be in the present. I rested my hand on both of her small ones and she stopped fidgeting and looked up at me with her big blue eyes. Her breathing became shaky, we were so close I could feel it on my lips. The way her eyes would dart between my eyes and my lips told me to just do it, so I began to lean in. Gently, I held her face in my hands, brushing her hair out-of-the-way in the process. As our lips touched, I could feel a slight tremble on hers but it soon stopped. As they parted I realised she wanted this, just like I did. The warmth of her lips sent a chill down my spine, I'd never wanted anything as much as I do right now. I felt her fingertips slowly creeping their way up my chest and onto my neck and it felt like if my heart started beating any faster, I would have a heart attack. She pulled away, leaving her hands where they were and we looked each other in the eye, laughing at each other, a little embarrassed. We let go of each other as we caught our breath, unsure of what to say.

"I should probably go to bed" She told me.

"Stay with me" I practically begged her. I'm so pathetic.

She laughed a little. "Sure"

We lay down together and I instantly wrapped my arms around her. She played with my fingers as we watched each other, a smile playing on her lips. "You're so beautiful" I didn't even mean to say it, it just kind of slipped out.

She grinned again. "Shh. Goodnight" She kissed the bridge of my nose and rolled over, allowing me to pull myself closer to her. The smell of her hair in my face was intoxicating, I would never be able to get enough.

"Night" I kissed the soft skin of her neck and relaxed beside her, excited for the morning.


	19. Chapter 19

**This is kinda a filler, it's mainly just cute. The next one will be big as fuck so enjoy.**

I opened my eyes to the sight of the dust floating in the sun shining on the wall next to me. I licked my chapped lips, I felt dehydrated already. Feeling an unusual ache in my right arm, the attempt to move it failed as a dead weight pinned it against my bed. I frowned and turned my head to face a heavily sleeping Beth Greene. I frown slowly faded as I watched her chest rise and fall, the soft breathing making the world seem to stand still. She was cuddled into my side, her head buried in my neck as her arm was draped over my stomach. Yesterday's events suddenly replayed in my mind and I became giddy at the sight of her. Those lips that she uses to create beautiful music, that she uses to express her hopeful optimism, they were on mine yesterday. I couldn't believe I was even lucky enough to associate with Beth, let alone be close enough to feel her heartbeat. I took her hand in mine and gently ran my thumb over her forehand, feeling her barely visible veins. I brought her hand up to my face and pressed my lips on the heavy scar that was left after she cut herself back at the barn. She began to stir so I let her hand rest around my neck. After a few seconds, her eyes slowly opened and she was blinking away the sleep. When her eyes met mine, they were full of confusion for a second before a smile played on her lips. "Hey" My voice was hoarse.

"Hi" She replied, stretching her fingers out but not making the effort to move her hand from my neck.

Not feeling the need to speak in this moment, I began playing with her fingers, not being able to stop myself from touching her. The smile from her lips never left, and I never wanted it to leave.

Carol clearing her throat at the doorway of my cell made us both jump. Beth quickly retreated her hand and a smirk crept up on Carol's face. "Beth, I could use some help with breakfast"

"Yeah, sure" Beth sat up and Carol left. She sat on the edge of the bed putting her shoes on and I sat up, worrying about the end of the moment and wondering if it would be like this all the time. I scooted behind her, draping my legs either side of her so she was sat between my legs as she tied her shoelaces. She froze a little as I wrapped my arms around her waist and leaned back into me a little.

"Don't go" I croaked, burying my face into her neck.

She started to giggle and wriggle out of my grip but I held her in place. Once she stopped wriggling she looked at me over her shoulder. "I gotta" there was a shine in her eye that I had never seen before.

I sighed out of defeat and rested my forehead on her shoulder. She leaned her head back on my shoulder and put her hands on top of mine, rubbing her thumb in circles. "Another time?" I asked.

She lifted her head to look at me so I did the same. She looked at me with a slight smile on her face and that weird shine in her eye and leant in for a kiss. I kissed her back, not wanting to make the same mistake I did the first time. It didn't last long, though. She had already got up and left the room by the time I had left my weird trance. I laughed a breathy laugh to myself, shaking my head out of disbelief that I was in this position with Beth Greene. I quickly put my boots on and left my cell, excited for the day before me.

Beth and Carol were preparing breakfast in the homemade kitchen while the others sat around. Rick and Daryl were gearing up by the table closest to the gate, talking quietly together. I joined them, pretending I'm not an emotional wreck right now. "What's goin' on?" I asked them.

"Got a meetin' with the Governor, Andrea musta convinced him to do some talkin'" Daryl replied.

Rick kept his head down, checking his ammo. "Need some help?" I asked him.

"You're not at your best, you gotta let that shoulder heal before you go out again" He didn't look up as he spoke.

I frowned. "You can't seriously think the Governor is actually gonna talk, right?"

"He damn well better" Daryl replied. Feeling like I didn't want to be spoken to, I left them and joined Glenn and Maggie at a table.

"Saw Beth go into your cell last night" Maggie said with a smirk on her face.

I felt my eyes go wide and I spun around on my seat to see if Beth was listening. When I saw that her and Carol were well into making breakfast talking among themselves, I turned back around to find the pair of them laughing. "Calm down, Adam"

I laughed with them, hiding my face out of embarrassment. "She slept in my bed, nothin' happened"

"Of course not, it's Beth" Maggie laughed. "But I think there was defiantly kissin' goin' on"

I could feel myself flush red and I rubbed my face slightly, wishing I had sat alone. "Aren't you supposed to be the over protective older sister? I expected to be tied to a chair or somethin' by now" I changed the subject.

"If I had it my way, you would be" Her and Glenn laughed together. "But you make her happy and I ain't gonna get in the way" A warmth ran through my body as she gave me an appreciative smile, I was in the good books of the Greene family. The only person I had to convince that I was good enough for Beth now was myself.

Beth joined us at the table, sitting beside me and the four of us ate our oatmeal in silence. "Dude, what happened to that baseball cap you always used to wear?" I thought out loud, breaking the silence. It came to me all of a sudden that I hadn't seen him wear it in forever.

He seemed shocked at the question but smiled all the less. "I think I kinda outgrew it"

"Like hell you have. I want the hat back!" I protested. "You could turn it backwards whenever shit goes down"

Glenn laughed. "This isn't Pokémon"

"Whatever man, could be cool" I said under my breath.

Watch duty could be really boring but somebody had to do it and right now that somebody was me. It felt good to finally be able to hold the rifle with both hands with little pain, I was getting back to my old self. With nothing suspicious in the tree lines, I concentrated on humming songs I used to sing along to. I found it so hard to remember the words, it had been a long time since I'd heard music at all. I made a mental note to write down some lyrics to help me remember later. "What was that?" Glenn's voice popped up behind me making me jump, I must've been humming quite loudly because I hadn't heard him open the door.

Collecting myself, I dropped the scope and we both watched the walkers roam the yard. "The Smiths"

He nodded but didn't say if he liked them or not. "I miss music" He sighed.

"Me too, bud" I suddenly felt sad, like I'd never hear music again. A lightbulb suddenly shone above my head though. "We got Beth, she's a walkin' jukebox"

He laughed at that. "_You've_ got Beth"

That made me smile. "I wouldn't say she's mine, more like I'm her's. I'm totally whipped" We laughed.

"I know how you feel. We totally have the Greene girls on lockdown, though"

"Hell yeah" We high-fived and made our way back inside.

Inside, Merle had placed all the guns and ammo on the table, looking like he was gearing up for a whole winter. A few feet away Maggie gave us a look to say that she protested but failed. "Hey, you're not going" Glenn told him as he closed the gate behind us.

"I don't need permission" He shot back at him as he filled his duffel bag.

"I can't let you"

"You can't stop me"

"If you're gonna live here with us it's gonna be on our terms" Maggie chimed in, looking fed up. "If Michonne can do it, why can't you?"

Merle was angry now. "Cause it's my brother out there, that's why. What's the matter with y'all?" He turned around and climbed the stairs to face Glenn and I, looking ready to fight his way past us.

"I'm not gonna let you put them in danger" Glenn's tone was threatening.

"Nut up already, boy. This guy cops a feel of your woman and you pussy out like this? Get out of my way"

"No"

Merle had enough and attempted to grab Glenn but he wasn't fast enough. Glenn attacked back, tackling him sending them both tumbling down the stairs. I ran after them and wrapped my arm around Merle's throat in attempt to get him off Glenn. He had the knife which was taped to his metal arm ready to tear into Glenn's face but Maggie and Michonne took hold of it. I squeezed my bicep harder and could hear him choking underneath me but he still wouldn't let up. The sound of a gunshot made us all stop dead in our tracks. Beth had a gun raised in the air as she watched the messy struggle on the floor that was us, her face unimpressed. Taking advantage of the moment, I dragged Merle from Glenn to the other side of the room by his neck. "Let me go!" He kept yelling at me and once I did, he didn't make a move for Glenn again.

Rick Daryl and Hershel got back and refused to tell us anything until we got back inside. They looked unharmed, like they hadn't even used their guns. I guess that was the good news, now to prepare myself for the bad news.

"So, I met this Governor. Sat with him for quite a while" Rick told us as soon as we were all crowded around in cell block C.

"Just the two of ya?" Merle asked, suspicious. Rick nodded and Merle shook his head. "Shoulda gone when we had the chance, bro" He said to Glenn when he passed him, leaving the room.

"He wants the prison. He wants us gone. Dead. He wants us dead. For what we did to Woodbury" I saw Merle stop to listen just before he got to the doorway. Rick's face was serious as he looked over to us all. None of us exchanged glances, we only watched Rick watch us. "We're goin' to war" That was the sentence I've been dreading this whole time. After dropping that bomb, Rick left the room, leaving us to our thoughts. I looked around the room and I could see panic on people's faces, although they didn't let it heard. Merle and Michonne looked mostly angry, but the rest mirrored the way I felt. One by one, the crowd dispersed and I followed Beth into her cell, feeling the need for comfort. I didn't like Beth's cell, it didn't reflect her as a person. It was as dark and dreary as mine. I don't know if she knew that I had followed her or not but she didn't seem surprised when she saw me. We sat down on her bunk together and leaned on the wall behind us, but it wasn't long before she was in my arms with her head rested on my shoulder.

She didn't say anything though as her arms gripped tightly around my waist. I frowned down at her, moving a strand of hair from her eyes. "What's wrong?"

I felt her sigh, her warm breath hitting my neck and sending chills up my spine. "I'm scared" I didn't know two words could worry me so much. "War means people will die. I don't want daddy to die. Or Maggie. Or you" She propped her chin on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. I could feel myself begin to melt into them but I stopped myself, now wasn't the time.

It scared me to think that the girl who stayed optimistic throughout the whole process of the apocalypse isn't feeling so optimistic right now. I realised I had to make her feel better, to be optimistic for her. "We ain't gonna die, I won't let him near us"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well I met this girl, so full of hope and joy that everythin' around her seemed to radiate, just like her. There were dead people walkin' around the place but for some reason, all I could feel was hope because of this girl I met. She was like an angel without wings, guiding me to the safe place. But only recently I realised that she is the safe place, and as long as she's around, the hope she gives me will be strong enough to stop anything"

She didn't say anything once I finished my little story, but from the smile she couldn't wipe off her face I guessed that she liked it. "I'm talkin' about you, by the way"

She laughed. "I got that" And then she looked down at my lips and didn't hesitate to level our faces and kiss me. The kiss was different from before, it was deep and passionate. I got lost in Beth and Beth got lost in me. I was just happy I was successful in making her feel better.


	20. Chapter 20

A bunch of the group were in the yard and laying down barbed wire to pop some enemy tires. I was pissed because they still didn't think I was ready to go against walkers but I felt as ready as I'd ever be. In a world like this, you don't have time to rest anymore. In my sulky state, I sat with Carol as she was looking after Judith. Seeing my face as I sat down with her, she smirked a little. "What's wrong with that pretty face of yours?"

I folded my arms in front of my chest tightly. "Nobody will let me do anythin', I feel like I'm bein' mothered"

She chuckled at me slightly. "Tell me about it" Judith suckled away at her bottle greedily and my eyebrows relaxed a little. She will always be a miracle. "So are you gonna tell me about Beth or do I have to squeeze it out of you?" The smirk never left her face.

I sighed, I tried not to smile back at her but failed. "There ain't much to tell. We kissed a few times but that's it" I bit my bottom lip, I felt like I was telling the whole group but I couldn't help it, I was excited. "She's totally into me, though" I beamed.

She chuckled again. "Is she now? Maybe I'll ask her" She chuckled once more and concentrated on Judith.

As she stood up with Judith in her arms, we heard a small grunt from up the stairs. "Ain't no way" I looked up to see Merle standing by the window and looking out. I didn't even know he was there.

"What?" Carol asked him as she put Judith down in her crib.

As Merle turned around to reply, the knife attached to his metal arm scraped off the wall. "Nothin'. We got any whisky? Hell, I'd even drink vodka"

"Go to hell, Merle" Carol said without even blinking and Merle and I laughed at the same time. Merle made his way to the stairs and sat on the top step when Carol asked him another question. "Are you with us?"

"Sure"

"I'm not talking about occupying the same space" She was reloading her gun, now. She looked like one of those housewives that go crazy and kill people. She gazed turned to Merle again. "Are you with us?"

"I'm here for my brother" It was strange, he wasn't acting angry or sarcastic.

"Well he's here for us. It's not time to do shots, it's time to pick a damn side"

He laughed again but it faded just as quick. "You ain't like you was back in the camp. A little mouse runnin' around, scared of her own shadow"

"It wasn't my shadow, it was my husband's" I looked at Carol and she didn't show any sign of remorse. I forgot somehow that she wasn't always a badass.

"Well you don't seem scared of nothin' anymore"

"I'm not"

"You're a later bloomer"

"Maybe you are, too" She went back to her gun but Merle didn't stop watching.

"You, pretty boy, I don't even remember you"

"Maybe you're gettin' old, Merle" I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe. Or maybe you ain't much to remember" He chuckled slightly. "You even got a place in this group, kid?"

I tensed my jaw, feeling the immature angry me from Atlanta coming back. I got up and let the room, but before I was out of earshot I heard Merle speak again. "Musta hit a nerve"

Beth was alone in her cell like I had hoped. She stood at the small table with her back to me and I stood in the doorway with my arms folded and watched her for a while. She was writing something down, frowning in concentration. She was the cutest thing I had the pleasure of setting my eyes on, all I wanted to do was touch her. I slowly crept towards her until I was directly behind her. She jumped when I wrapped my arms around her waist but leaned back into me when she realised who it was. "Whatcha doin'?" I breathed into her neck.

She shivered slightly before she answered. "Writin'. I've been sloppy on my journal lately"

"Can I read it?" I asked her in between the light kisses I planted on her shoulder.

She shook her head slightly. "It's private"

"Have you wrote about me?" I asked her, readjusting my hands so they rested on her stomach.

She put down her pen and rested her hands on top of mine. Her hair tickled my cheek and she nodded her head. She turned around then but didn't look me in the eye. Her eyes were elsewhere, trailing down my arms, my chest. I held her and watched her place her hand on top of my shoulder. Gently, she traced it down in search for the wound I acquired after being shot. Her fingers left burning trails the lower her hand got, and once she found the hole left in my shoulder I couldn't help but take in a sharp intake of breath at the slight pain caused at her gentle touch. She took notice of this and gave me an apologetic smile. Her lips touched my shoulder, over my white tee and lingered for a moment before she pulled me back. I couldn't feel any pain, just grateful her lips were on me. She then kissed the top of my shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me, her face was full of concentration again but there wasn't a frown to be found. Her lips touched my neck, right under my ear. She lingered the longest there and I felt like I was on fire. I wanted to grab her and kiss her right there and then but I restrained myself, waiting patiently to see where she was going with this. I think I stopped breathing 10 minutes ago. She was kissing my jaw line, now, and then onto my cheek. The closer she got to my lips the more nervous I got. After she was done with the corner of my mouth she looked at me for a while and I felt like I was being tortured. Finally, she leant in and I met her halfway with a desperate urgency. She met me with the same urgency and her hands were straight in my hair, tugging slightly. I gripped at her hips and pulled her as close as possible, wondering if even that was too far. But I realised it defiantly wasn't when I felt her tongue on my bottom lip a little. We opened our mouth at the same time and our tongues met each other greedily. I moved my hands upwards, only slightly, so I could feel the warm skin on her waist. Feeling impatient, I picked her up by her waist and sat her on the table behind her, hearing her journal fall to the ground. Her legs were wrapped around my waist tightly and I ran my hands down her outer thigh. She moaned quietly against my lips as I bit her lip, driving me crazy. Her hands were on my back now, roughly dragging her fingernails up and down my spine. I grunted out of pleasure against her lips now and I felt her smile. All of a sudden, I felt her body jolt towards the floor but I caught her and stood her up before she hit the ground. As we stood there, the table crashed to the ground and we watched it, unsure of what to say. "I'll fix that" I told her, and then we both started laughing uncontrollably at what just happened. The table breaking underneath her and the kissing that got way out of control. When she brushed the hair out of her eyes I caught sight of the time on her watch. "Shit, I gotta go on watch" I sighed, not wanting to leave her.

"How long you got?" She asked, disappointment in her eyes.

"3 or 4 hours"

She then took off her watch and placed it in my hand, closing it. "Come back in 3 or 4 hours, then" She gave me a smile before planting a soft kiss on my lips. Then, I dragged myself out of her cell.

Every time something happens between Beth and I, I have to go on watch directly after so I'm always too distracted to even watch. Beth's watch smelt like her and I wouldn't let it leave my hand but I was fed up of not doing my job so I put it in my pants pocket and looked through the scope, watching the tree lines as usual. But when I saw Merle and Michonne walking together behind the trees, I knew something was going on. They're doing something else and I wasn't even told about it this time. I huffed out of anger and threw the rifle to the floor, heading for my cell. No one batted an eyelid once they saw me and I was glad that Beth was in her cell, I'd be back in time to see her. I grabbed my hunting rifle and hung it on my back. With my pistol in my pocket and my knife hanging from my pants, I headed out.

I killed a dozen walkers on my way through the tombs. I never thought there would be this many but I had to make my way through quietly, Merle and Michonne wouldn't have gone out any other way. The anger helping with killing my way through, I didn't have any fear, only adrenaline and the need to hit something. The hole in the back of the prison wasn't hard to find, I climbed through it and the burning sun hit me hard. I hadn't been in the raw sun for a while but I kept going, climbing over the fallen fence. I jogged through the trees, killing another couple of walkers on my way there. The sound of chirping birds welcomed me back into the outside and I was grateful to the slight wind as my legs worked harder than they had for a while. As I ran through the trees, I finally found an opening to a road and quietly hoped that it was the same opening that Merle and Michonne had found. I fell back to a walk and stayed in the tree lines, looking for any sign of them. When there was none, I began jogging again, ignoring my aching lungs. Houses began coming into view but I didn't slow down. I pulled my gun out, ready for anything to jump out at me.

I finally found Merle and Michonne. They walked slowly up the road together, getting further and further away from the prison. Something was wrong, though. They were ignoring the houses. As I jogged closer, though, I realised Michonne's hands were bound in front of her and Merle had her sword. I gripped onto my pistol tighter as I approached the back of them, aiming it and Merle's head. "Merle, drop your weapons!" I called out to him.

The pair of them stopped in their tracks and slowly turned around. Merle began laughing maniacally, shaking his head slightly. Michonne didn't say anything to me, she only gave me and unreadable expression. "What're you gonna do, shoot me?" He asked as he laughed. "I remember you now, yeah. You're the pretty boy with the temper. You tried to hit me, but I got ya back good, didn't I?" He laughed again, but his face was menacing.

"Just drop 'em, man"

"You ain't gonna shoot me, kid. You ain't got the balls anymore" He was right, of course he was. I let my aim fall but didn't put it back in my pants. "That's right. Now c'mon, we got stuff to do" He turned around and grabbed Michonne by the arm, the pair walking ahead of me.

I frowned out of confusion and jogged up to them. "What're you doin', Merle?"

"Deliverin' a package to the Governor. Just so happens that if I pull this off, maybe it'll keep that prison of your's standing. Maybe all will be forgiven"

"That's a lot of maybes" Michonne replied, not sounding remotely pissed off that Merle was taking her to a slaughter-house.

"You gotta play the hand you're dealt" Merle replied, making his way to an old ruster "only got one" It only took him a little peek inside for him to see that he wouldn't get it on the road.

They carried on on foot up the road and I had no choice but to follow them. There was no way in hell I would be able to stop Merle, and I couldn't kill him, so it was probably best to see how this works out. Hopefully, I'll be able to save Michonne. He seemed to want me there, though, and that confused me like crazy because I felt practically useless right now.

Merle was trying another car when Michonne turned to me. "You can put that away, I'm not going anywhere" She should be full of venom but she was calmer than I'd ever seen her.

I looked down at the hard grip on my pistol and then met her eyes. "It's not for you" Her eyes mirrored confused for a split second but her face became unreadable once more. As Merle made his way over to us, angry with defeat, I quietly whispered to Michonne "You're gettin' back to that prison. You're family now" Her face didn't falter as Merle grabbed her arm and we set off again.

"Why ain't you back at the prison, kid?" Merle asked me after a little while.

"I saw you guys walkin' off, and I thought you were on some top-secret mission. Didn't exactly this it'd be... this" I told him truthfully. "And stop callin' me kid" I added.

Merle laughed his dumb laugh. "S'what you are, embrace it, kid"

I glared at him and kept my eyes forward. Feeling a small thud against my chest, though, I remembered Beth's watch. Pulling it out, I checked the time. I still had 2 and a half hours to get back to Beth. Although she and the others would probably know I'm missing by now. As much as I wanted to go back to make sure she didn't worry about me, I had to make sure nothing happened to Michonne. Merle looked at me in the corner of his eye. "Ya got somewhere to be, pretty boy?"

I shook my head. "Let's just do what we gotta do, Merle"

He looked at me with slight approval. "Alright"

We finally rounded onto a motel filled with cars and stuffy rooms. Merle held onto Michonne and they ran towards the nearest car but I stayed at a walk, my eyes searching for any sign of movement. Merle tied Michonne up to a post outside a room and broke into the car closest to her. He laid down in the front seat, hot wiring it I presumed. The car's engine didn't take long to roar to life, but the car alarm came immediately after. The noise was loud, if Merle wasn't busy right now I would've punched him. I made my way over to Michonne, who stood there unmoving watching her kidnapper struggle to turn off the car alarm. Just as I got to her, though, the familiar groan emerged from the trees and made their way towards us. We would've made a good team together, but even if one wasn't bound and the other one wasn't lying down inside a car, we would never have been able to take this many down at once. With my pistol already out, I pulled my knife out with the other hand, ready to take on what I needed to. Michonne called out to Merle but the only response was the frustrated curses as he carried on playing with wires. "Adam, get the wire!" Michonne began to panic and I ran over to set her free.

"Was this dude a boy scout or something? What the fuck" I gave up bothering to untie it. With my knife, I began cutting at it. It wasn't much use, though, a blade as small as mine wouldn't cut through a metal wire like this. A walker came out from a room beside us and I abandoned cutting while I took her out. I turned around to see Michonne drop kick a scarily close walker and stamp on its head, causing a gush of blood and rotten brains. She quickly nodded to me and I did the same, but the sound of the car alarm was replaced with more of Merle's struggling grunts. A walker was on top of him and with the car door in the way, I thought he was already being devoured. Merle being Merle, he surprised me as his metal arm was deep in the walker's neck as the both of them rose to their feet. Once up, Merle pulled out Michonne's sword and sliced the walker's face off. More walkers were nearly on us now so it was time to use some bullets. I shot at every closest walker, headshots each time, I was happy my aim was finally on point. Merle brought Michonne's sword down hard on the wire he used to tie her to the post, setting her free. "Let's go!" He shouted to me, breaking me out of my walker shooting trance. We all got in the car, I sat in the back as Merle got us out of there fast, leaving the walkers and the motel behind.

I breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed the back of my neck, happy to be on the road again. Michonne and Merle began bickering in the front seat and all I could think about was how I should have never left the prison, maybe I was still just a stupid kid. I'm an 18-year-old acting like a rebellious teenager, it was pathetic. "You said you killed 16 men since this thing started? You ever kill anyone before?" I overheard Michonne ask Merle.

"No" Merle simply replied.

"And how about before Woodbury? Before you met him?" Merle shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. "Huh. So he saved your life, cleaned you up, fed you a line of bullshit. Why would you kill somebody else for him?" He kept his eyes on the road, still looking uncomfortable. "You know, we can go back"

Merle chuckled at her. "Ain't happenin'"

"All of us" She explained. "We can just go back"

Merle's face dropped a little and he viciously shook his head before he spoke. "I can't go back, don't you understand that? I can't"

She frowned, her eyes never leaving his busy ones. "Why?" She asked him before he slammed his foot on the breaks, bringing us to an abrupt halt.

He leaned over to her and cut off the wire that bounded her hands together. "Go back with him" He nodded my way. "Get ready for what's next. I got somethin' I gotta do on my own" Michonne got out the car and Merle handed her back her sword. She didn't say a word as she stood there, looking down at him.

"I ain't goin' anywhere" I half regretted I had said it, but I knew I'd regret it more if I didn't.

He turned around to look at me for the first time since we got the car. "You ever know what you're gettin' yourself into, kid?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not really, but life is full of surprises" I told him sarcastically. Before she closed the door, I quickly maneuvered to the front seat and leaned towards her a little. "Tell Beth I'll be back soon" She nodded, shutting the door, letting Merle and I drive away.

Merle pulled into the closest building which just so happened to be a dive bar. It looked like the kind of place I'd find Merle if the world was normal. He began rummaging through the glove box when a smile spread across his face. He pulled out a small bottle of what looked to be whiskey. He desperately opened the bottle and poured a quarter of it down his neck before putting it down for air. "That's the good shit" He told no one, taking another sip before putting the cap back on. After another small rummage through the glove box, he pulled out a CD and put it in the stereo. I had no idea what he was up to as the hard rock music began to play through the speakers. Walkers around us began to notice us and slowly made their way. Merle turned the speakers up to the highest volume and began to drink again.

"What the hell are you doin'?!" I shouted over the music. Before I could turn it down, though, he grabbed my wrist.

"Trust me, kid, I got a plan!" He yelled back at me.

Walkers swarmed the car and I could no longer see out of a window. I breathed a shaky breath, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had joined some crazy suicide mission.

Merle finally pulled off as slow as possible and then stopped a few feet away so the walkers could catch up. I finally caught onto what he was doing but I still didn't like it. It was repeated, pull off, stop, pull off, stop, we were collecting walkers with the hard rock blasting.

After a while, we could drive a little faster because we had collected a good amount of walkers. Merle was drunk by this point, he didn't speak to me but I could see it in his face.

"We gotta jump out the car" He told me as if it wasn't a big deal.

"What?!" I heard him, but I really didn't want to jump out of a moving car.

He didn't look back at me before he opened his door and threw himself out. I cursed under my breath and opened my door with a shaky hand, seeing the moving ground below me and I pushed myself out. I realised the car wasn't moving that fast when I made a soft landing on the grass. I stood up and pulled my rifle off my back, following Merle who had already wandered off. We entered some sort of small warehouse cautiously, the Governor and his goons were around here somewhere. I followed Merle through the dark building until we stopped at some windows. Outside, we could see the Governor's goons running around and panicking at the noise the car was making. They began firing at the walkers that now surrounded them. Merle took that as an opportunity to start shooting at them, taking out the guy with the long hair first. I felt useless again all of a sudden and he took notice that I wasn't firing with him. He kicked me, barely taking his eye off his scope. "Pick up your damn gun and start shootin' people"

"I can't!" I gripped onto my rifle and hid under the window out of view.

"Sooner or later, kid, you're gonna have to. And it's gotta be sooner rather than later" He told me as he shot at the men before him. Before we could do anything, though, two men came in and began beating the shit out of Merle. I tackled one to the ground when I met the Governor for the first time. He looked angry as hell as he shouted for his goons to leave Merle to him. The goon who had finished beating Merle up grabbed me by the neck and dragged me out of the building and into the sunlight near a car. I struggled against his firm grip, but there was no getting out of it. Especially when someone else took an interest in me. Crowley began to stride toward me with a big ass gun in his arms, his face unreadable under his sunglasses.

"Well, well, well. Aren't you the kid I shot but got away?" He asked me as he crouched down to my level, removing his sunglasses. He had a slight smirk spread across his lips and I suddenly wanted to wipe it off.

"Where's Merle?" I struggled to get the words out as the goon tightened his bicep around my neck. As if on cue, a gunshot rang out from inside of the building and echoed inside my head. They leg go of my and I fell onto my knees. I didn't attempt to move or escape because I was already dead. It didn't matter what they did to me from here on out, they would kill me either way just like they killed Merle. I hung my head in defeat, I really didn't know what I got myself into this time.

Crowley stood up, laughing at me. "You look so pathetic right now" My knuckles turned white as my hands bawled into fists. This is it, all or nothing. I jumped up and went for Crowley, my fist connecting with his nose as hard as it could. Two goons grabbed hold of each arm, kicking my legs to make me kneel again. I looked up at Crowley who held his nose, blood pouring through his fingers. He grabbed his gun out of anger and brought it down, whacking my face with it. The last thing I saw was the Governor exit the building with blood all over him, and then everything went black.


	21. Chapter 21

**I wanted this chapter to be a lot longer than it is, but there wasn't much else I could put in it so I might make one last chapter from season 3, I'm not sure yet.**

* * *

_My heavy feet made loud thuds with each step I took walking down a road which I recognised. I took a look around myself to find that I was in Atlanta. It was a busy day, people walked past me, nearly bumping into my as they barked into their phones. No one bothered to see who they'd just tried to walk through, I felt invisible. In a strange way, I kinda liked it. I felt like I had no responsibilities again, the world hasn't gone to shit. I carried on making my way down the road even though I couldn't remember where I was going. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her lying down in the road, though. The people around me blurred into nothingness as I sprinted towards her, dropping to my knees next to her broken body._

_"Marley, what happened?!" I asked her in a panicked voice._

_Her eyes met mine but they didn't see me. They glared at me, glazed over. "I was stupid, thought I could take them all out by myself"_

_"We'll find help, okay? Just let me help you up" I told her, scooting my arms underneath her._

_"No! No..." I stopped, retreating my arms as I stared at her in shock. Why wouldn't she let me help her? "Adam, it's too late" She pulled up her t-shirt to show me her stomach and I nearly threw up at the sight. Something had eaten away at it, there were several bite marks along with whole chunks missing._

_I blinked away my tears as I gaped at her. "This isn't happening..." I whispered. I shook my head viciously, as if it would stop this madness._

_I froze as her hand pressed against my cheek, her thumb brushing against my lips slightly. "It'll be okay. You'll be okay" Tears fell down the side of her cheeks and onto the gravel underneath her. I was shaking uncontrollably as I took her face in my hands and leant in for one last kiss. She gasped onto my lips out of pain when we finished and I could taste my tears, but couldn't feel them. I didn't know what to do or what to say, I shouldn't be letting this happen. I felt like I wasn't in control of my body as my hand my its way to her stomach as if it would heal her. She gave me a small smile but I couldn't smile back. "You have to let me go"_

_I shook my head once more. "No, I can't" My voice broke but I didn't care. I could see her slipping away, her eyes were getting cloudier by the second._

_"I love you, Adam" She rested her hand on mine, watching me without watching me._

_"I will always love you" I choked on the words as I watched her eyes meet the sky. Her hand on mine suddenly felt heavy as a small, shaky breath escaped her lips. And that was it, Marley's life had suddenly escaped right through my fingers and I let it happen. I started to sob uncontrollably, grabbing her lifeless body and pulling it towards me, holding her tight like I should have done 30 seconds ago. I sobbed into her chest, not caring about being quiet. I felt like the world was falling around me, like I was the last person on Earth. But the crowd of people walking up and down the streets reminded me that the world still hasn't gone to shit, I wasn't the last person on Earth. Why didn't these people stop and help? It didn't even look like they saw me, like they were ignoring me. I held onto Marley tight, glaring at the ignorant bypassers. I wanted to kill them all. But I couldn't leave her. I looked down at her sleeping face and couldn't stop. She was so beautiful, even now. I looked back up, confused I could no longer hear the loud footsteps of the hundreds of people walking by to find they were no longer walking by. They had all stopped dead in their tracks and at the same time, their heads all snapped mine and Marley's way, locking their eyes onto us. I kept hold of Marley as fear crept onto me, wondering what was happening. At the same time, each and every one of them slowly began to make their way to us. Ready for the fight, I lay down Marley's beautiful, lifeless body onto the ground and waiting for them to get to me. They began to morph, though, and if I wasn't scared before, I defiantly was now. Suddenly, they were walking dead people, some missing limbs, some with guts dragging behind them, looking at me hungrily. I pulled out my pistol, suddenly not ready for the fight. I felt like giving up, like I should let them take over me. Because what was really the point anymore? A slight movement next to me caught my eye and I watched as Marley's corpse lifted itself from the ground, paler than before. Frozen, I watched her and waited. Nothing will be okay after this if I survived, so what was the point? I closed my burning eyes, ready to be with her again._

_The sound of a car engine made me rip my eyes open again and a gunshot sent Marley's body crumbling to the ground. I dropped to my knees, feeling like I was the one to get shot and looked over Marley's dead body one last time. I could hear the engine getting closer, and I looked up to see that a van had stopped right in front of me. A small Asian guy, a guy with a crossbow and a black guy burst out the van, killing the dead as they made their way to me. "Get off your ass, kid, we ain't got all day" The guy with the crossbow shouted to me, but I felt like I was already dead, or at least paralysed._

_"Hey, I'm sorry, but we gotta move" The Asian guy stood in front of me, offering his hand. It felt like time stood still as I stared at it. If I stayed here, I would get eaten alive. If I went with them, I'd lead a life of misery. It was a lose lose situation, but I decided to take my chances, Marley would kill me if I killed myself. Grabbing his hand, we bolted for the van without looking back._

* * *

A sharp pain in my stomach forced my eyes open from the heavy sleep I was in. The first thing I remembered was Crowley's face, and I looked up to find that I didn't have to remember as he was stood there, looking down at me with a sneer. "Wakey, wakey, sunshine" I pulled on my arms but they wouldn't budge and I looked to see that they were bound to the wall behind me, risen in the air. I was on my knees, which were sore and cramped from not moving and I suddenly wondered how long I'd been here for.

I noticed Crowley was examining something as he stood about 10 feet away from me. I frowned up at up, not ready for whatever shit he's going to throw at me. "Is this your girlfriend's?" He asked me, showing me that he was holding Beth's watch.

I gripped at the chains that held my wrists for support, I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply. He laughed quietly, and then threw the watch at the wall to my right, shattering it. He crouched so we were face to face. "Beth, right? Yeah, she's real pretty" That was all it took for me to break, I swung my head backwards and busted his nose with my forehead with so much force that he fell backwards and screamed out in pain. "Again, you fucker?!" His nose was bloody again, but he got up quickly, wiping his nose on his t-shirt. "Looks like you know how to play" He sneered, grabbing the baseball bat from the table beside him. Without warning, he swung it around, sending a white-pain through my skull forcing me to cry out in pain. I could feel blood trickling down my cheek but I wasn't sure where from, my whole face hurt. "Oh, before I forget, the Governor and our people are over at the prison right now. Your people will probably give up a fight, but they're still gonna die. Don't worry about Beth, though. The Governor's gonna bring her here for me, she'll be fine"

"Leave her out of it" My blood was boiling, I needed him to shut up.

"What? Don't you wanna see her again? I thought you'd be happy, man!" He feigned offense. "No matter, I was gonna have her instead. Think I'll fuck her right here" He pointed to the floor. "And then if you're lucky, I'll finally kill you" I've never been so angry. I wanted to hurt him, to end him. I could rip his face apart right now. "Anyway, back to play time. I'm sorry, man, but you gotta learn from bloodying up my nose like that" He wiped his nose on his sleeve and put the baseball bat back on the table, picking up something smaller instead. "Just remember; this is your fault" His tone was flat and serious. He stood directly in front of me, but not making the mistake of crouching this time. Instead, he dug his knife into my arm. Not deep enough to tug an artery, but deep enough to make me scream. He was carving into me, and I couldn't move my arm away from it. My skin shredded against the knife, leaving a burning sensation with every move it made. I didn't know what I was screaming but it filled the room and hurt my ears.

After what felt like forever, the knife left my skin but the pain didn't get much easier to bear. Figuring I'm too weak to try anything, he crouched in front of my again, grabbing my chin forcefully to look him in the eye. "Just a reminder of who you're fucking with" He moved my chin, forcing me to see the fresh, red 'C' he left on my forearm. Blood seeped from it like the tears that ran down my face. He let go of my face and I let it drop. I had already given up, I just wanted it to end. As he walked away, he chuckled. "God, you are such a downer! C'mon, we're just having some fun!"

"Fuck you" I wanted to say more, but what was the point?

"That's what I'm talking about!" He yelled excitedly, rushing towards me and punching me in the face, cutting the inside of my cheek causing me to spit blood at his feet. "Man, I feel like we're getting to know each other already" He chuckled again as hit lit a cigarette, filling the room with smoke. "You smoke, kid?" I shook my head, deciding to entertain him. "Good, shit like that could kill you" I could hear the smirk in his voice but couldn't bring myself to look at him. "So what's your deal, man? How come you didn't shoot at us back there with Merle?" After waiting for an answer that didn't come, he carried on. "What's the matter? Never killed anyone before? It ain't too bad once you get used to it. But you ain't gonna get used to it, I guess, you'll be dead in a few hours" He laughed.

"Why don't you just kill me now?"

He crouched in front of me with a smile spread across his face. "Well that wouldn't be very fun, would it?" He took a drag of his cigarette and blew it in my face, causing me to cough, making his smile grow wider. "Actually, maybe I'll quit smoking" And then slowly, he pressed the cherry on the cigarette into my upper chest. The more I moved away from it, the harder he'd press it into me. I could feel my skin melting away underneath it, I felt helpless. Throwing the bud away, he made his way to the table again, picking up a water bottle this time. "You thirsty, buddy?" I said nothing, forcing myself not to say yes, my throat was on fire along with the rest of my body. "You gotta be, here" He crouched in front of me again, offering me the bottle. "I know this sucks but I ain't that shitty, just open your mouth" To my regret, I did as I was told. Just as the bottle touched my lips, it was taken away again. I watched him as he emptied the bottle on the floor in front of me. I could feel the splash against my bare stomach, I swallowed as best as I could, my mouth suddenly got drier. "You make this way too easy" He smiled and shook his head, leaving me again.

My arms were sore from being held up for so long, a dull ache shooting through my shoulders. I could no longer feel my legs, which was probably a good thing. My eye was swollen to the point where I could no longer see out of it, but I ignored the pain. Emotionally, I was so numb I didn't even feel like a person anymore. I wondered what was going on back at the prison, I wondered if Rick and the others are still fighting. I wondered if they were already dead. I shook my head, they couldn't be, they're too tough. Tougher than I am. They'll get through this. They have to.

Looking down at my bare chest, blood draped itself all the way down, reaching the top of my pants in some places. In a dry place, a fresh, pink circle burned, ash resting around it. That was going to scar and I wanted to scar him for it. I didn't realise Crowley was watching me but he was, apparently. "Just think of them as new tats" He strode over to me, knife in hand again. "So this is my artwork" He admired the stitched up gun wound on my shoulder. "It's healing..." He sounded almost disappointed. "Can't have that, can we?" He flashed a sinister smile before plucking off the stitches one by one. I refused to scream for him again, keeping my face stone. It'll be over soon. With the stitches gone, he smiled again. "I gotcha good, huh?" I dreaded what he was going to do as he lifted the knife, teasing it against my skin as he made his way to the bullet wound. "I'm gonna warn you, this is defiantly going to hurt" And then he dug the knife into my wound and my determination not to scream flew out the window. I thrashed my arms around as much as possible, trying to get this knife out of me but the more I moved, the deeper it went. I stopped moving, realising I just need to deal with this and wait until it's over. Nothing stopped me from screaming in pain, though. I could feel the warm moisture of my blood rushing out, making its way all the way down my body. He twisted the knife around, like he was trying to dig something out. I feel dizzy from the pain, I couldn't keep my eyes open out of fear the I'd throw up and pass out. My whole left side throbbed and I saw Crowley's smirk through my clouded eyes. I thought he'd already done his worst to me, I underestimated him. I didn't think he would go this far. "You know what I just realised?" Crowley began laughing to himself again. "I've been searching for the bullet but it came out the other side" His laugh became loud and obnoxious, but I could barely hear him because I was on the verge of passing out. He grabbed my chin and I tried to look at him. "Don't you sleep of me now, buddy. We got a hell of a lot more games to play. I'm excited!"

"Go and play with yourself you prick" I spat blood in his face and hatred flashed in his eyes.

"Man, it's like you want to be punished" He wiped the blood off his knife onto my other shoulder, creating more cuts. But they were nothing compared to the pain I was already enduring. He held my head in place with his spare hand forcefully. It probably would've hurt if he hadn't just stabbed me. "Keep still or this will end up a lot worse than it will be" He held the knife in a stabbing position and began carving into my forehead. I didn't protest, I didn't care anymore. I was thinking about jolting my head so the knife would enter my skull when the door burst open, causing Crowley to jump away from me, knife dropped and forgotten about.

Rick's Python was aimed at Crowley's head, along with Daryl's crossbow. Michonne was behind them along with another black guy that I didn't recognise. "Get down on the ground, now!" Rick yelled at him and Crowley did as he was told. Daryl and Michonne made their way towards me in attempt to free me. As soon as they released the shackles, my arms dropped to my sides, they ached so much I never wanted to use them again. With each arm, they lifted me to my feet. But my legs weren't working properly because I sat on them for so long. But it didn't take too long to adjust, I couldn't get rid of the jelly legs but I was finally back on my feet. "I'll meet you outside" Rick told us.

"No" I protested. I had to do what needed to be done. I picked up Crowley's knife from the floor by where I was chained and crouched in front of him. He trembled when he realised the roles were reversed, panic taking over as he began weeping.

"Don't do this man, I'm sorry! Please..." I couldn't even feel sorry for him, he was pathetic.

"Fuck you, Crowley" I hissed at him as I drove the knife inside his stomach, feeling it pierce his abs. His eyes widened in horror and pain, they stayed on my eyes just like mine stayed on his as I pulled the knife further up, ripping it through his rib cage. He couldn't scream out in pain, he couldn't move. He let out a small whimper before his body fell limp against mine, his eyes drifting away. I pulled out the knife and threw his body to the ground. I probably should have felt something, like guilt. But I couldn't. I was still full of so much hatred I could do it all over again. I stood up and picked up all of the pieces left of Beth's watch and pocketed them. As I turned around, everybody's eyes were on me. Shock spread across their faces and it annoyed me. They still had no idea to what I had just had to go through. I just wanted to go home. "Can we go now?"

"You good?" Rick asked me. I wasn't sure if he was suspicious or worried.

I nodded, not wanting to talk about it and then we filed out. I grabbed my first before leaving but didn't put it on. I was still bleeding heavily.

I must've passed out on the way back to the prison because when I woke up I was in my cell, staring up at that same old mattress. It felt like I got hit by a truck, my whole body was sore, either with ache or pure pain. I tried to sit up but my body wouldn't let me. When I remembered Crowley carving into my forehead, My hand shot up to my forehead to find it bandaged with my right eye, along with my left forearm. I had to carry around his marks forever, I'm so glad I ended him. Looking to my right, I found Beth asleep in the corner of my room with my shirt cuddled up to her and even after what I just went through, I couldn't help but smile. She always knew how to cheer me up even when she didn't know she was. Especially when she didn't know she was. I wanted to get out of bed and join her on the floor but I couldn't even move my legs, let alone anything else. I sighed, already fed up of being in bed. Carol cleared her throat quietly as she entered my cell, taking a seat in the chair that was already placed next to my bed. "Hi" She smiled, grabbing my hand. She seemed weary, though. Something seemed a little off.

"Hey" My voice was croaky. "How long have I been out?"

"Two days, we were getting worried. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone put me in a blender and tried to drink me" She chuckled quietly. "How is everyone?"

"Better than you, that's for sure" She gave me a sympathetic smile. "If I asked you what happened, would you tell me?" She asked, she seemed scared of my reaction.

"Maybe, one day. Right now I just need to forget it for a little while" I frowned, I was going to get that question a lot.

"I understand" A comfortable silence fell between us and Beth's small breaths filled my ears. "Did you kill him?" She pointed towards my forearm.

I didn't regret it, in fact I'm glad I did it and I would do it again. But I wanted to tell Carol that I didn't. What if this changed her mind about me? But I could never lie to her. "Yeah" It came out as a whisper, I was nearly ashamed of it.

She nodded, her face never changed. "Good" I was shocked when she said it, but Carol's changed just like I have. We adapted to survive.

"Adam?" A small whisper came from the corner of my cell and I got butterflies in my stomach, scared of how she'd treat me.

"I'll leave you two" Carol said with a smirk on her face before leaving my cell.

Beth sat in the mysterious chair next to my bed and leaned over me. Her eyes were full of sleep but the worry in them was plain to see. "I'm okay, don't worry" I tried to reassure her.

"This doesn't look okay. Your shoulder..." Tears filled her eyes and my stomach dropped. I hated making her worry.

"I got through it once, I can do it again" I forced a smile but it didn't comfort her. I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing her fingers as my thumb rubbed against her knuckles. "I'll be okay, Beth"

She frowned a little out of discomfort at the sight of me and grabbed my hand, finding blood under my fingernails. "You looked like a walker when they dragged you in here" A tear fell down her cheek.

I rested my hand on her face, wiping away her tear. "I ain't dead yet. You gotta put up with me a little longer" I smiled a genuine smile. Her smile was small and fast to go away, but I was just happy I got a smile at all.

She leaned into my hand and closed her eyes. She seemed less worried, but something else was going on through her mind, I just couldn't tell what. "What did he do to you?" She whispered so quietly I hardly heard her. Her eyes trailed all over my damaged body, but finally glued onto my eyes.

I wasn't sure how I wanted to go about this. The truth would crush her, but I couldn't lie to her either. "A lot of bad stuff" I said carefully. "But you wanna know what kept me goin'?" She looked at me expectedly, the crease in her forehead never-ceasing. "You" She laughed a little, but it dropped as she went into thought, her eyes dropping to the floor. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this" She blurted out, shaking her head. "I just can't..." Tears began falling down her face again.

"What are you talking about?" I knew what she was talking about, but I needed confirmation.

"This, you and me. It can't happen" She was half sobbing, now and I felt like I was going to throw up.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I felt like the air was being taken out of the room and I was suffocating. "Why?" It came out so small and quietly, I felt even weaker than I did.

"People think I can't protect myself, and maybe they're right. But I can protect myself from this. I can't stay here while you're out bein' kidnapped and tortured near to death. I can't worry every time you leave the prison" She wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve. "I just can't, I'm sorry" She got up to leave but I grabbed her arm, ignoring the pain as I sat up a little.

"I love you, Beth" I whispered, my voice so desperate I couldn't recognize it. "I've loved you for I don't even know how long. And I'm gonna love you for a lot longer" I would've got on my hands and knees if I could have.

She turned around to face me, her mouth opening and closing like she didn't know what to say. "I know" Was what she came up with and I broke inside. "I'm sorry" She didn't look behind as she rushed out of my cell.


	22. Chapter 22

**Last episode of The Walking Dead has me mourning, fuck those guys. Anyway, I was thinking of doing a few chapters in between season 3 and season 4, what do you guys think?**

* * *

I stood at the foot of Andrea's corpse underneath a blanket. It took a few days of sleep and rest for Carol to finally give me the news and nobody stopped me from going outside, even though I'm still not in good shape at all. I frowned as I looked down at her feet sticking out the bottom of the blanket, confused as to how this could have happened. Turns out she was in the room right next to me the whole time at Woodbury. I wondered if she heard my pathetic screams. I wondered why I didn't hear her's. The heavy pounding on the grass behind me told me that someone had joined me, but I didn't care who it was, I already wanted them to go away.

"She went out fightin' like you'd expect her to" Rick informed me, but I didn't want to hear it.

I didn't look back at him before I spoke. "We should've protected her" My voice was quiet.

"We did all we could"

I turned around to face him now, anger boiling up inside of me. "No, Rick, we didn't. She came here lookin' for help and you treated her like she was a god damn stranger set out to hurt us"

Rick's face was blank as he stared back at me unflinching. He looked like he expected this conversation, maybe even wanted it. "She was on the wrong side -"

"She didn't have a choice what side she was on!" My angry voice echoed throughout the courtyard, the walkers in the yard becoming irritated at the sound of food. "She was part of us. She'll always be part of us"

"I know that now. I know it's too late, but I realised" I noticed he looked like he'd been fighting wars with himself. "Look... about what happened back at Woodbury -"

I cut him off again. "Don't. I don't wanna talk about it"

He looked like he was starting to get a little angry, now. "You _need_ to talk about it. You gotta trust us, that's how this works" He took a step closer to me as he spoke.

"Whatever, Rick" I sighed, pushing past him and headed back to my cell.

I was so bored. Being stuck inside my cell sucked, especially when Beth wasn't making her spontaneous visits. I hated how whenever she was stuck in the same room as me she couldn't even let her eyes fall on me, it was like we were less than strangers now and I couldn't cope with it. At least Carl came round to give me some of his comic books, I nearly hugged the kid.

Hershel's entrance made me put down a comic book to my regret. He sat down on the chair next to my bunk that hadn't moved since I got back from Woodbury. He held out his hand and dropped two pills into my palm. "Take these, they're antibiotics, they should help fight infection. We ain't got many but what we got might do the trick" He told me as he gave me a bottle of water to wash them down with. Forcing the pills to the back of my throat, I swallowed hard, trying not to bring them up as they forced their way into my stomach. I greedily drank out of the bottle, thankful Hershel was the caring type. "C'mon, let's get those bandages changed" I sat up slowly to avoid more pain and hung my legs off the bed so I was close enough to Hershel. He started unwrapping the bandage that was wrapped around my eye and forehead. I flinched when he had to rip it off a little at the end, it was slightly stuck to the carving Crowley didn't get to finish on my forehead. My eye was still swollen but I could finally see out of it. He helped me take my t-shirt off so he could get to the bandage around my chest, traces of blood slightly staining it. Since the blood was still wet, he only had to peel it off so there was no unnecessary pain. "I noticed Beth hasn't been in here for a while" He thought out loud as he began unwrapping the bandage on my arm.

"You're very observant" I shouldn't have been sarcastic with him but I couldn't help it, I was too angry.

"I am" He didn't seem phased by my attitude. He carefully ripped the bandage off my arm but I didn't look down at it, I didn't want to. "You should speak with her, who knows how long we have left, now"

"She doesn't want me, Hershel. Just drop it" I didn't like talking to Hershel this way but he was pushing me over something I really didn't want to talk about.

He opened his mouth to reply but Glenn came in holding a mirror with a grim look on his face. "Hey"

I shook my head at his entrance. "What's that?"

Him and Hershel exchanged worried glances and Glenn sighed. "You gotta take a look at some point, why not now?" He seemed like he was dreading my reaction.

And rightly so, I couldn't deal with this shit right now. "No. Get out" I told him roughly through gritted teeth.

"Son, you might feel better if you just -" Hershel began but I cut him off. I seemed to be doing that a lot today.

"Nothin' will make me feel better" I nearly yelled at him.

"Hey, look. I know how you feel, I really do. I hated everyone around me and I took it out on the person I care about the most. But I forced my self to deal with it, and you have to do that, too" Glenn's face held a serious expression and I felt my own face relax a little when he finished. If anyone could talk me into doing something right now, it would be Glenn. I held out my hands and he place the mirror in them carefully. It was a little heavy, Glenn must have unscrewed it from the wall in the bathroom. I held the mirror in my hands face down, suddenly nervous when I realised I hadn't seen my own face properly since Hershel's farm. I looked up at Hershel for a reason unknown and he nodded, telling me to get it done. I looked back down at the mirror and flipped it over, lifting it up so I could see myself properly. I looked different, older and stern. My brow constantly creased. My green-grey eyes held an intense gaze as I stared at my scarred face. The unfinished 'C' that Crowley left behind was half a semi-circle and I found myself flinching when my eyes traced the bloody scab on my forehead. My swollen eye had a gash underneath it, that would defiantly scar. A beard was forming, I rubbed my chin to feel the soft stubble. It wouldn't have looked too bad if my face wasn't such a mess. I ran a hand through my messy mousey brown hair and let it flop to the side, I would have worried that I needed a hair cut a week ago but I couldn't bring myself to give a fuck right now. I sighed and moved the mirror so I could see my chest. I ran my finger over the already healing cigarette burn and it was sensitive to the touch, I gritted my teeth, anger boiling up inside of me. My shoulder was a messy sight, too. What was once healing was now a bloody sight. The hole now had marks around it, making it larger. It didn't look like a gun shot wound anymore, more like I'd been stabbed over and over in the same spot. I grew angrier and I threw the mirror at the end of my bed, lifting my left forearm to have a look. The big 'C' in the middle stuck out like a sore thumb. Small amounts of blood seeped out of the tight scab and I clenched my fist, making it feel tighter. The anger became uncontrollable and I think Glenn caught on because he was taking a few steps towards me. He didn't grab me in time before I punched the mirror in front of me, though. The mirror shattered immediately at the force and blood began streaming down my fist, into my palm. Glenn grabbed my arm, he was stronger than I thought he was because I couldn't free myself. "Stop, you're bleeding!" I stopped as he told me to, and blood was traveling down my arm onto his hands and he let go of me.

Emotions crept up onto me and I couldn't control them. Sadness, anger, regret, I could feel everything at once and it draped over me like a blanket and I began to sob. I covered my face with my hands, the moisture on my face a mixture of tears and blood from my hand. Hershel and Glenn sat next to me and watched me meltdown, not saying anything. They probably thought it was best to let me get it out. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I felt broken. Crowley broke me and I hated him for it, grateful I had the guts to fuck up his guts.

The tears stopped coming and I let go of my face, rubbing the back of my neck, embarrassed at my sudden outburst. "I'm so fucked up right now" I whispered to no one and I saw Hershel shift in his seat out of the corner of my eye. Glenn was crouched next to my bed, watching me intently in case I decide to punch something else.

"Yeah, I can see that" Glenn said light-heartedly, a slight chuckle following. I smiled at him a little and shook my head. I really appreciated Glenn sometimes, he knew what to say to calm me down. "You just gotta pick yourself up, tell yourself it's gonna be okay even when you know it's not true"

I nodded, looking down at the deep cuts on my hand. I clenched and unclenched my fist, watching the blood ooze out. "I feel like I'm losin' myself" I told them honestly.

"C'mon, man. The only thing you're gonna be losing is your virginity with a beard like that" He chuckled again, and this time I laughed with him, not being able to hold it in.

"I'm not a virgin, you asshole" I wiped my face with my clean hand, which came out bloody.

Glenn pulled out a rag from his back pocket and brought my face towards him, wiping away the blood. "Seriously, though. If you carry on you're gonna end up like Hershel"

Hershel began laughing through his thick beard and I joined him. "You need the looks first" Hershel chimed in, making us laugh a little more.

Silence came over us as Hershel began reapplying my bandages, along with my hand. Glenn never moved as he watched us. He was either worried I was going to lash out again or he was simply enjoying the company. Probably both. I felt like I needed to say something to them, to tell them how much I appreciated their company right now but I couldn't get it out. I ended up forcing myself, though. "Thank you, guys. Seriously, I probably would've done worse than punch a mirror if you weren't here"

"Everyone needs a mirror to punch every once in a while. I'm always here if you need one, man" Glenn gave me a smile.

"And I guess I'm always here to stop you from gettin' an infection" I laughed at Hershel who smiled as he concentrated on putting a bandage around my head, deciding to leave my eye.

Glenn and Hershel caught me up on everything. How Rick and the others rescued a bus full of Woodbury residents who were now residing in cell block A. How the Governor killed all of his people on their way back to Woodbury, all apart from one survivor. How two of the people who accidentally wandered into the prison a while ago, who Rick apparently went crazy at and made them leave, were now here, a brother and sister. I had missed a lot, and I felt disconnected from the group ever since I got back. But maybe now that would change, maybe things wouldn't be as bad as I thought they would be, even if I don't have Beth anymore. I still have my family, and I cherished every minute with them now I knew what could happen. This could all be ripped away from us any second so we needed to appreciate it as much as possible while we could.

They left me after a while and a thought popped into my head. I got up, flinching at the pain but I carried on to the jeans that were lying on the floor. They were caked in dry blood, they stiffened when they dried so much that they could probably stand up by themselves. Putting my hand in the pocket, I pulled out Beth's watch. I brought it to my bed and rested it on the blanket before me, examining it. The straps were still intact with the case but the glass was shattered and the battery had fallen out the back. I was determined to fix it. It probably wouldn't fix Beth and I, but I needed to give it her back, no matter how long it took.

I joined the others for dinner in the cell block, figuring I've already gotten out of bed today so once more couldn't hurt. After a scold from Carol, I sat down by myself on the table furthest away from Beth, who was dishing out dinner into bowls. Carol brought a bowl over for me to save me getting up again and then she left me, scolding me once more before leaving. She was going to force me into bed once I was finished, I knew it. I noticed two people who I had never seen before were sitting on the table next to me talking quietly among themselves. They must have been the brother and sister I was told about. I couldn't remember their names. I was thankful dinner was mushroom soup, since I still had a gash on the inside of my cheek and didn't really feel like chewing. The first sip stung a little, but I forced it down figuring I need something inside me. Before I could look up again, the brother and sister sat down in front of me, looking a little anxious. I couldn't help but feel hostile as they sat down, my walls building up, but I was still eager to see what they wanted. "Hey, I'm Tyreese. This is my sister, Sasha" Sasha nodded, a slight smile on her lips.

"Adam" I replied, a little too dismissive.

Tyreese didn't let it phase him as he carried on, seemingly happy that he got a reply at all. "It's nice to finally meet you" Looking at him now, I realised he was there when Rick and the others found me with Crowley. He's already seen me at my worst and he still wanted to talk to me, that confused me the most.

"I guess we technically already met" I went back to my soup. I saw Sasha frown. I knew I was being rude, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to redeem myself so I didn't come off as a total asshole. "Nice hat" Genius, Adam.

He smiled, adjusting his roughened up beanie slightly. "Thanks. I'll find you one" I gave him a smile for the first time. I liked Sasha and Tyreese, even if the sister didn't talk much. They seemed pretty down to earth.

I saw Carol readying herself to storm over to me as I finished my soup so I stood up, readying myself to get back to my cell. "Right. I better go before Carol kicks my ass for bein' outta bed" I waved them off and they said their goodbyes as I shuffled back to my cell.

Something caught my eye as I passed Beth's cell, though and I stopped in my tracks. The shirt I had given her was laying in her bed, under the covers slightly, all crumpled up. She had been sleeping with it. A smile crept up on my face and I couldn't get rid of it. I shook my head out of disbelief. She may have been too scared to be together, but she couldn't deny the feelings.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry about the wait, Fallout 4 is literally taking over my life. This chapter is short and sweet, it's kind of a build up to the next chapter, though.**

* * *

I sat in the back of the pickup truck watching the road disappear as Glenn drove down the empty road. Michonne sat next to me silently, her fingers nonchalantly resting on the hilt of her sword. Daryl and Glenn's chatters were muffled by the glass that separated us, but I knew they were talking about the run. The four of us had been outside the prison more than inside for the last month. Mostly we were out looking for people, but Michonne was looking for the Governor. I didn't care what the runs consisted of, I just needed to be away from the prison and the people inside it. I figured being face to face with a horde of walkers was easier than being face to face with Beth. I didn't particularly talk to people much anymore. With all the new comers, I feel like I've retreated to the shadows, like I'm not part of the group anymore. People are literally kissing the original group's feet for saving them but I feel like I don't exist to them, no one sees me anymore.

"You think we'll find anyone today?" Michonne made my thoughts skid to a halt. I realised she'd been looking at me for a while. I shrugged, unable to stop my thoughts from effecting my mood. I didn't want to find anybody today, I didn't know what I wanted out of today. "What's wrong?" Her tone wasn't sympathetic like it usually would be when someone asks you what the matter is, it was more frustrated and strained.

I frowned at her, not fully making eye contact. "Nothin', I'm fine" It wasn't actually a lie since there wasn't anything wrong, I just felt like shit for no reason.

She sighed, her face relaxing a little. "I don't mean now, I mean this whole month" She looked at me, expecting an answer but I didn't give her one. When she realised that, she carried on. "I know what happened to you sucked, and Beth doesn't want to be with you or whatever, but you have to look at the bright side" It was my turn to look at her expectedly, waiting for her to give me a bright side. "You're alive" She smiled slightly, looking like she thought she'd solved all of my problems.

"Yeah, well maybe that ain't gonna be the case for much longer" The truck came to a slow stop and I turned around to find we were parked outside a supermarket. I made eye contact with Daryl through the glass and he cocked his head to the side, telling us to get out the truck.

"Found this place a couple of weeks back" Daryl told us as we overlooked the store. "It was pretty hot, looks like it ain't no more"

"Front doors busted, could be crawling with them inside" Michonne reminded him.

"Let's go and make sure it ain't, then" My tone was playful, I was excited. I pulled out my machete and walked ahead. I could imagine the worried glances they were giving each other behind me, I'd seen enough of those lately to predict them. But they followed me all the same, probably to make sure I don't get myself into trouble.

Once we got to the door, I tapped my machete on the metal base the held the broken windows loudly to attract the walkers inside. The familiar smell of rotting flesh filled my nose as two walkers came stumbling into my eyesight. I took them out before the others even got here and then we entered together.

Inside, a musky smell lingered and trash littered the floor. This place has obviously had it's fair share of looters. "This was pointless, this place is fuckin' empty, dude" I aimed my anger at Daryl since he suggested we check it out.

"Hey, I didn't say it was gonna be a god damn gold mine!" He shot back at me. "Why don't you go back to mopin' in your cell?" He laughed then, pushing past me. "Stop bein' a damn angsty teenager"

I was fuming now, and lately I had a hard time not showing it. I turned around and pushed him. "Go fuck yourself, Dixon. You don't know shit" He stumbled forward but collected himself fast, turning around to face me, anger oozing from him. He threw his crossbow on his back and swung for me but I stepped back just in time, I was quicker than he was. I was next to swing and when my fist connected with his cheekbone, I felt instantly better. He took me by surprise when he tackled me to the ground, though. He sat on top of me and landed his fist in my face but I didn't feel it, I was concentrating on getting him off of me. Glenn finally dragged him away and Michonne helped me to my feet, pushing me to the other side of the room. I could hear Glenn and Daryl shouting at each other but I didn't bother to look.

"You need to calm down" Her voice was low, as if she was telling me a secret. I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair, breathing heavy as I tried to calm myself down. Daryl and I had fought a lot since we first met but this time was different, we never got this violent with each other. All of a sudden, the familiar groan told us walkers were nearby and when they started emerging around the corners from every aisle, we didn't stick around to see how many there were. We probably should've checked the whole store before we started rolling around on the ground. We sprinted outside and jumped into the truck. Michonne and I were in the back once again and the walkers flooding out of the supermarket faded off into the distance.

I touched the side of my cheek, it stung as my finger made contact with it and I knew it was going to bruise. I sighed and remembered Michonne was sitting next to me, watching the trees pass us by. "So..." I started a little too awkwardly. I rubbed the back of my neck, already regretting a question I haven't asked yet because I didn't really want to know the answer. Michonne snapped out of her thoughts and turned her attention to me. "Does everyone think I'm mopin' or is Daryl just a dick?"

Michonne didn't seem surprised by the question, she shrugged. "It doesn't matter what anybody thinks, you need to do what you need to do to pull yourself through it"

"That ain't an answer"

She looked at me seriously, then. "You're reckless. I don't like it, but I understand. Just be careful" I was surprised she came outright with it, but I was glad to hear her say it. I nodded out of appreciation and then a knock on the window nearly made us jump. When we looked behind us, Daryl pointed at the road ahead of us where three people were standing on the side of the road. They had already noticed us and were watching us, but did nothing to get our attention, I could understand why, we could be anyone. They stood next to what I presumed to be their own car, a black Dodge Charger, it was so beautiful. Glenn slowed the car to a stop once we got close and I already had my rifle trained on them. They stopped and we got out of the truck, all armed and ready. There was a big guy, he had a shaved head and he held a baseball bat. He looked like the guy that would steal your lunch money. The second guy was smaller, his shaggy brown hair fell down his face like a wet mop sponged in sweat. He held a long pipe, probably hollow since he looked like he couldn't hold much weight. The third was a girl, small and slender. She had two large meat cleavers strapped against her hips, and by the way her hands hovered over them as we approached, I guessed she could use them. The closer we got, the more I could see her. Her dark brown hair hung down most of her face, her fringe hiding her eyes and resting on her lashes. But I saw her peeping through the gaps and her piercing ice blue eyes nearly made me back off a little. I felt like she saw right through me.

"Who are you guys?" The mop guy asked.

"We'll be askin' the questions" Daryl told him over his crossbow.

"Well I'm Zach. That's Mike" he pointed to the big guy "and that's Cas" he pointed to the girl.

"You got anyone else we gotta worry about?" I asked them.

"No. No, it's just us" His face was grim as he said it. "But you don't have to worry about us, I mean, we don't even have guns" He tried to laugh but when our faces didn't change, he let his smile fall.

Glenn lowered his gun to face the floor, but didn't loosen his grip when he began the line of questions. "How many walkers have you killed?"

Zach looked surprised at the question, but answered without hesitation. "I don't know, I didn't really keep track"

Glenn looked at Mike expectedly, and he caught on after a few seconds. "Maybe a dozen or two?" It was like he asked us as if we'd know.

Cas answered before we even turned our gaze to her. "A lot"

"How many people have you killed?" Glenn carried on.

Zach frowned a little at the question. "N-none" The word stumbled out of his mouth.

"Yeah, same" Mike answered.

We looked to Cas but I couldn't see her eyes behind her fringe. "None" Her voice was a lot more confident than the guys'.

"Why?" I asked, my tone came out low and dangerous.

"Uh... I just haven't really had to" Zach seemed uncomfortable, now.

"I ain't really got guns to protect myself with, man" Mike's brow creased.

Cas sighed, she seemed frustrated. "Whatever those two said"

"Okay" Glenn and Daryl put their weapons away, but I didn't make an effort to lower my gun. We still knew next to nothing about these people. "We have a place, it's safe. We have a community. You should come back with us" Glenn didn't have to convince these people, they seemed desperate.

Zach looked back at his friends and quickly replied. "Count us in" He laughed as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Mike cleared his throat and Zach looked back at him. His smile dropped once more and turned to us again. "But we have to do something first"

"What is it?" Daryl asked.

"The convenience store not too far up the road, we were on our way their before Zach's junker gave out. My parents owned it, if they were anywhere it would be there" Mike replied, a sour look on his face. I already knew this was going to be a waste of time but I kept my mouth shut.

"C'mon, we'll drive you" Daryl started making his way for the truck but the others didn't move a muscle.

"I can't... I can't leave my car" He seemed embarrassed that he was saying it out loud, and rightly so.

"Dude, it's just a thing" I shook my head, these guys were more stupid than threatening so I finally lowered my gun, but didn't put it away.

Zach was staring at his feet, his cheeks flushed. Glenn sighed and got a long tube from the glove box. He put on end of the tube in our gas tank and he sucked on the other half until the gas was coming out and falling into the canister he found. He didn't take much out, just enough to get to the prison.

They drove ahead of us since they knew where they were going and we didn't. Zach's car sounded even better than it looked, making a loud road as it accelerated onto the road.

"You don't trust them, do you?" Michonne asked me, we were in the back once again.

I shrugged. "The two guys ain't that smart. Girl's weird, can't make my mind up"

She laughed once. "They're harmless"

It really was up the road, it took us just under 5 minutes to get there. We all hopped out of the vehicles and I dropped the walker trying to get to us. We stood outside a small convenient store, it must've been smaller than a house. There wasn't much around it, it couldn't have made that much money. I heard Mike sigh as he opened the door, a small bell signaling a new customer. We all made our way inside and it was just as fucked up as the supermarket. Nothing useful was left, there was no point in looking. Glenn, Daryl, Michonne and I stood near the door awkwardly as Mike slowly made his way through the store, horror covering his face as he took the sight in. "I don't think they're here, Mike" Cas said quietly, but Mike ignored her. He carried on to the back door near the cash register. Zach and Cas stopped following him as he opened the door and entered alone. As he screamed, I found myself frozen. This was exactly what happened with my brother and I couldn't handle it, I wanted to run out and never come back. Everyone ran to his aid as I stood there like a dumb statue, but I shook myself out of it and followed them. I got there just in time to see two walkers fall to the floor next to where Mike was lying, blood pumping fast out of his neck. He found his parents. Zach and Cas sat on the ground either side of him, Zach was crying but Cas only looked down at him and watched his struggled breaths. Blood choked out from his throat, he was suffering. If the bite wouldn't kill him soon, suffocation would. "It's gonna be okay, buddy" Zach lied to him. Nothing was okay anymore. I took my pistol out of my back pocket and walked around the group so I was standing above Mike. Cas looked up and was about to protest before I pulled the trigger, making blood splatter all over her and Zach. The two sat there silently as they looked at the mess I had just made, unable to say anything.

Cas was quick on her feet, though. Before I knew it, she had me pinned up against the wall with one of her cleavers at my throat. "Tell me why I shouldn't fucking kill you" Her eyes burned into me, I could nearly feel physical pain from them they made me that uncomfortable.

Daryl already had his crossbow trained on her back. "You wanna kill me for puttin' your friend outta his misery? Fuck you" I threw at her. She wouldn't kill me.

"You're a fucking psychopath" Her let go on her grip and put her cleaver back. But before she turned around, she landed her fist on my face, popping my lip. The anger boiled up inside me but I saw Michonne shake her head in the side on my eye. I took a deep breath and wiped the blood from my lip. Zach was still on the floor next to Mike's lifeless body but Cas dragged him to his feet and pushed him outside. The rest of us followed, a glum mood hung in the air. Zach and Cas spoke in hushed voices outside near Zach's car and we waited by the truck for them to finish.

"Are we still welcome to your... place?" Zach asked awkwardly, his voice a little husky. Glenn nodded and Zach looked relieved. "Lead the way"


	24. Chapter 24

I did it. I fixed Beth's watch. I hated looking at it, it just reminded me of her lips and Crowley's knife but I pushed myself through it. I grabbed my notebook and pen and wrote in it, not realising how downhill my handwriting had gotten.

_Beth_

_Sorry it took a little longer than 3 hours to give this back to you._

_I was a little busy._

_I put a little something on the back, just to show you I'm always around._

_\- Adam._

I put the pen down and turned the watch over, running my thumb over mine and Beth's freshly engraved initials. I hoped the little note would make her laugh instead of sad.

I got up from my bed and made sure Beth wasn't around before I entered her cell and gently placed the watch on top of the note on her freshly made bed. How could a girl be so neat after the world has ended? Before I left her cell, the sight of my shirt hanging down from the top bunk caught my eye again. I couldn't help but pick it up and lift it to my nose as I inhaled deeply. It didn't smell a thing like me anymore. I kind of wanted it back, just so I could smell her on the bad nights. But it was her's now, and I would give my left arm to see her in it again.

I sat on the watch tower with my feet dangling over the side and the sniper resting on the bar in front of me. Instead of watching for real threats, I watched Beth give Zach the grand tour of the place. They walked down the yard and made their way to the crops that Hershel and Rick had planted recently. It didn't hurt seeing her with another guy, it hurt seeing her laughing at something he said, playfully pushing his arm. Amazement glistened in his eyes as he watched her, the same kind of amazement that I watched her with. Damn it Beth, why did you have to be so easy to fall in love with?

Rick and Michonne made their way to the car parked right outside the main gate, stopping and talking calmly together. I immediately got up, dropped the sniper and ran down to meet them. I knew where she was going, and I needed out. I couldn't sit there for another minute because I knew I'd turn even more crazy as I watched her with Zach. I jogged over to them, my rifle bouncing on my back in protest. When they noticed me, they waited for me to join them, not looking entirely surprised. I noticed Beth and Zach had stopped as well, they must've been watching me, too.

"Hey" I said when I reached them, panting softly.

"Let me guess, you wanna come with?" Michonne asked with a playful smile. I nodded, forcing a smile. I knew she wouldn't let me come if I wasn't in the right state of mind.

"Stay outta trouble" Rick told us as Michonne got in the driver's seat of the car.

"Always do" I replied sarcastically before I sat besides her.

Michonne was a fast driver. Fast, but careful, it suited her. She was fast at getting the conversation going, too it seemed. "Don't you ever rest?" I felt her smile when she looked at me but I kept my eyes out the passenger window.

"Don't you?" I used the monotone voice that seemed to keep making an appearance.

She laughed, seeming to enjoy my unenjoyable company. "Guess not" We were passing houses now, I had no idea where we were or where we were going. I was just glad to be out. "I saw Beth with the new kid with the cool car" She didn't completely look at me as she said it, looking for my reaction but not wanting to over step her line.

"Yep" I wasn't entirely sure what to reply, but I was annoyed that she brought it up at all.

"Is that why you wanted to come with me?" She asked me carefully.

"Yep"

Her face fell to seriousness but she still didn't look at me. "You better not get reckless, Adam" That frown was back. The one she wore on her face permanently before the Governor escaped. She hardly wore it anymore, it was nice to see her try to enjoy some things in life even when I wasn't.

"Just let me kill some shit, I'll be fine" She pouted, but didn't reply.

Michonne pulled up outside a dingy motel, the 'M' and 'O' neon lights that balanced on top of the building with the other letters had fallen off. They weren't small either, that must've made a big noise. We got out of the car but there were no walkers around that we could see so we carried on towards the first room together. "Is this the kind of this you always do out here?" I asked her as I took my knife out and she entered first. "Search buildings and shit?"

"I try to cover as much ground as possible. He can't be too far" She checked the bathroom but nothing. No bodies, no blood, no sign of people.

"I'm gonna go and check the rooms upstairs, we might get this done quicker" I rushed up the stairs and into the closest room, eager to get out of this graveyard.

I didn't find anything until the fourth room. The stench of alcohol hit me in the face like a ton of bricks when I swung the door open. Beer bottles littered the floor and bed, clanging together as I made my way through. Picking a bottle up from the bed to examine, I noticed there was still a drop left. This was recent. I dropped the bottle back on the bed and got my pistol out, suddenly paranoid they were still here. I stopped outside the bathroom door, my shaky hand hovering over the door knob. Right before I opened it, muffled groans came from behind the door. There was a walker in there. Someone probably drank themselves to death. I put my pistol away and got my knife out, opening the door. The walker itself didn't frighten me, it was the mask that covered its face. Blood outlined the plain white mask that hid its mouth. I dug my knife into its temple, dodging the mask just incase it was too strong to pierce. I crouched over it when it felt limp to the motel floor, and I realised the blood that outlined its mask was paint. This guy was either crazy or part of a cult. Either way, I needed to let Michonne know.

It was too late, though. By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, one of them already had a knife to her throat, dragging her out of one of the rooms. He was shirtless and wearing a white mask like the walker upstairs, except his paint was different. He had a big, bloody red smile slapped across it, he looked like something out of a horror movie. I pulled my hunting rifle from my back and aimed it between his eyes. "Drop it" I warned him through clenched teeth.

He only laughed. "You think that's a good idea, buddy?" He pulled the knife closer to Michonne's throat, forcing her to lean her head backwards. Her eyes hadn't left mine since I found her but she was surprisingly calm considering her situation.

"Either way, you're dyin' today" I was so ready to pull the trigger, but Michonne could die and I didn't want to risk it.

"I don't think so" A deep voice mumbled behind me, muffled by the mask he probably wore. I felt something sharp rest on my back, drawing blood and I knew if I moved an inch, it would go straight through me. "Guns too big for ya. Drop it"

Defeat washed over me and I threw my rifle to the ground. The guy behind me called out to someone, but the only people I could see were Michonne and The Smiler. I heard footsteps and suddenly, another white masked asshole was standing in front of me, taking my pistol and my knives. "Got anythin' else that'll hurt us?" He spoke through his mask, which had blood dripping down from the eyes like tears. He had no shirt on, either, but he was a lot bigger than the smiler. Body builder abs were hidden under his tattoo infested skin, bulging with each breath he took like he was going to pop. He sighed when he realised I wasn't going to answer, scratching his recently shaven head. "I'll take that as a no. Get on your knees" He grabbed me by the shoulder and it didn't take long for him to push me to the ground, his arm was bigger than me. He did the same with Michonne, but he forced her down to the floor so she was kneeled on my right hand side. Another person came to bind our hands together, I didn't bother to look up as his mask, but I did see that he had a white vest on.

"What do we do?" Michonne whispered over to me as we were left alone and I wish I had never heard her because I had no idea. I looked up to see what we were up against and I was shocked to find that around 30 people were crowded around, talking among themselves. Some had t-shirts on, and some were completely topless. Some had clean, pushed back hair whereas others had dirty hair that draped down. But no matter what, they all had the same plain white mask on and never the same markings. It didn't look like they had a great variety of paint, though since it looked like they used a single black sharpie or walker blood.

"Adam?" Someone called out from the crowd. I didn't look up, I was just hearing things, I had to be. Nobody knew me anymore, I was anonymous in a world like this. Michonne was looking up, watching out for who called my name, confirming that I'm not entirely crazy. I finally looked up to see a tall, slender man pushing his way through the crowd. I presumed he hadn't taken his eyes off me but I couldn't tell since his mask was in the way. A small, thick, black line went down from the lip to the chin, two lines under his eyes and two between where the eyebrows were, like he was angry. It was plain, but effective. The big guy covered in tattoos slapped a hand on the guy's chest, putting him to a sudden halt and they started talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. The big guy finally nodded, and then they were both standing in front of us.

I frowned up at the guy, confused. How the fuck did he know my name? He only stood there, looking back down at me, watching me. He crouched down in front of me and I flinched, reminded of being bound facing Crowley. "Just get it the fuck over with" I spat through clenched teeth, suddenly panicked by the overwhelming feeling of fear. The guy lifted his mask and rested it on top of his head, revealing a dirty face. Underneath the dirt and grime, though, my old best friend looked down at me, his eyebrows pulled together just like on his mask. "Travis?" I gasped. A bunch of emotions ran through me all at once and I couldn't handle them. Relief, happiness, guilt, anger, I was a mess inside right now but all I could do was gape at him.

"Hey, man. You ain't lookin' too hot" He smiled, leaning down to untie my hands. He did the same with Michonne, who sat there with a blank face, watching Travis. "C'mon, let's go for a chat" He offered us both of his hands and we both took each one, rising to our feet. He led us to a motel room on the far side, to where we hadn't searched and closed the door behind us. Travis sat on the edge of the bed and I took a seat in the armchair not too far away. Michonne stayed by the door, peeking out the window. He took his mask fully off now, throwing it on the bed next to him. He looked different, older. We used to be the same height be he was now a good couple of inches taller than me, probably hitting 6'4. The eyes that were once full of fun and mischief were now shrunken back and tired. "I can't believe it's really you" He whispered. "I thought you were dead, man"

"So did I for a while" I admitted, whispering back.

"Why didn't you meet me at the church? I waited there long enough to nearly die" He seemed angrier now.

"Logan wouldn't let me, you know what he's like" I laughed, feeling like everything was normal. I had to remind myself that the world had ended and everybody I knew before was dead except for Travis.

"Is he..." He trailed off but it didn't take a genius to know what he was getting at. I shook my head, letting my eyes drift to the floor. "Marley?" I shook my head again, grief creeping up on me. "I'm so sorry, man" His voice was croaky and I looked up to see that his eyes were a little watery but he blinked it away.

"So what happened with you?" I asked him, changing the subject.

He sighed lightly. "When you and I split up, I went home. My family were...you know" He ran a hand through his ashy blonde hair. "I found a few people, goin' from house to house, sleepin' where ever we could. It wasn't much but it worked. Except we didn't expect Atlanta to be so wild, we got overrun and everybody died except me. Dawson found me and here I am"

"Is Dawson the leader of this... community?" I wanted to call them a pack, but he'd probably find that offensive.

A smile lightly played on his lips before he spoke. "I know they're a little rough around the edges, but they're family now"

"Yeah, I guess I got one of those, too" I looked back at Michonne whose eyes hadn't left the window. She didn't like the guys outside any more than I do. "Come back with us"

He didn't hide his surprise. "What?"

"We have a good place, a prison, it's safe. A little over 50 people, we could use you" I tried to sell him. "I could use you"

"I can't. I can't leave them, Adam" His face was full of seriousness, a side of him I was never forced to see. "They're my family"

I nodded, I would do the same were the roles reversed. "At least say you'll come and see me some time"

"As soon as I find a case of beer, I'll be there in a flash" We laughed together and sat in silence for a minute. The only thing I could hear was the loud banter coming from the crowd outside.

"We better get goin', don't want the others to worry" I stood up slowly and Travis followed me. The three of us left the room and headed for the car outside the motel. As we walked past the crowd of masked men, they began to notice our departure. A lot of them were angry, screaming at us at we hung our heads. Dawson gave us our weapons back and silently nodded before strutting back to his pack of wolves. We made it to the car in one piece and Michonne got straight in the driver's seat, eager to leave. Travis and I stood near the passenger door, looking at each other awkwardly, neither of us knew what to say. "I'll see you soon, then?"

Travis flashed his charming smile. "defiantly" He forced me into a hug and I didn't know what to do with myself. It had been a long time since I'd been this close to somebody, let alone hugged somebody. His embrace was tight like a bear's, and I roughly slapped him on the back. He pulled away, unable to wipe his stupid grin off his face. "Still can't believe it's you"

I smiled again. "Believe it, brother" And then I got in the car. Michonne drove away and I couldn't shake the thought that I'd officially never see him again, I could be wrong. I hoped I was wrong. "Where're we goin'?" I asked Michonne when I realised we were going back the way we came.

"Home. I'm not too comfortable being outside after that. Your friend saved our ass"

"The dude has some insane timin'" I laughed once. "It's a shame his friends are assholes, though"

"Yeah, let's hope he doesn't bring them on your little date night" She joked.

I shook my head but couldn't contain my smile. "Shut up"

We made it back just in time for lunch and I was happy to find a bowl of fruit in front of me as Michonne and I sat down together in the cell block to eat. Beth sat with Maggie and Glenn on the other side of the room, silently eating. The sight of the watch on her wrist made me nervous. Did she smile when she found it on her bed? Her eyes eventually found mine after staring at her for a while, but I couldn't look away out of embarrassment. I hadn't soaked in her beauty too long and it felt like I was getting withdrawals. She lifted up her wrist, showing me her watch and gave me a smile. I smiled my dumb smile back to her, feeling like a child. I broke eye contact before I drove myself crazy and got back to my fruit, realising Michonne also had a dumb smile on her face. I frowned at her. "What?"

She shook her head, obviously amused. "Nothing"

I found a surprise waiting for me on my bed in my cell. The shirt that I let Beth keep was folded up neatly, carefully placed next to a note. I slowly sat down and picked it up, mentally preparing myself to read it.

_Adam_

_Thank you so much for fixing my watch, it really does mean a lot._

_I thought it was time I finally gave this back to you, I know you're missing it_

_Even though I won't have anything on the days I miss you anymore_

_Maybe now you will_

_\- Beth_

She drew a small love heart next to her name and my own heart swelled so much it felt like it was going to pump through my chest. I picked up the shirt and it fell from the folds. It smelled so much like her, it was close to the real thing. I could sit here all day smelling it but I couldn't fall into temptation. I grabbed my notebook and pen and wrote.

_Beth_

_As much as I want to keep this so I can smell you again, I can't_

_It's your's, it was your's before I even met you, it will always be your's_

_Plus, you look better in it than I do._

_\- Adam_

_P.S. I can think of something else I miss more than your shirt._

I smiled smugly at my words. I could be so charming. I drew two little love hearts next to my name. I took my note and the shirt to her cell, I tried to fold it up again but it looked nowhere near as good as the way she did it.

Rick was outside tending to his crops with Hershel by his side guiding him. They both turned around when I interrupted them. "How'd it go?" He asked, taking his gardening gloves off and putting them in his back pocket.

"Uh... It was a weird one" I could see that both him and Hershel were intrigued by this. "We ran into this really weird group of dudes who wore masks and they took us prisoner but turns out my old best friend is alive and is one of them so he saved us but he didn't wanna come back with us cause they're his new family now which is crazy because they're practically cavemen" I took a deep breath when I finished, realising I rushed it all out.

"They wore masks?" Hershel asked, confused.

"Weird, right?" The whole thing sounded hard to believe.

"Are they a threat?" Rick seemed a little worried.

"I think they could be" I told him truthfully.

Rick nodded and thought about it for a second. "We won't act on it for now. But you let me know if you hear from them again"

"Sir yes sir" I said sarcastically.

I turned around to leave but Rick stopped me. "I need you to do somethin' for me" We started walking back up the yard.

"What is it?" I asked him curiously.

"Are you good with your hands?"

"I like to think so, I mean... I'm forced to use them every day"

Rick smiled and carried on. "I need you to build somethin'. An outdoor kitchen, somewhere we can all eat together"

We entered the gates and stopped. "Sounds good. You got the stuff we need?"

"Yeah"

"I guess I'll get right to it, then" I said, excited to do something practical for a change. Rick nodded and he took me in the direction of the supplies.


	25. Chapter 25

The worst thing about working on building the outside kitchen wasn't the sun burning down on me as I sweat everything out or the blisters that formed on my hands, it was watching everyone come and go. Michonne was always first and alone and always the last one to come back. Lately she'd been using a horse that Daryl found in the wild instead of a car, I didn't know why but the way she looked as she rode it, her sword resting on her back, she looked like she owned the world. Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Tyreese and Sasha all took turns in going out in the car to look for more people and supplies. New people kept joining us but I never kept track of them, I was struggling to hold a conversation with the people I called family, let alone strangers.

Restoring the showers was the best thing that happened to this damned place. Steaming hot water ran down my face and onto my chest, turning my skin pink and cleaning off the sweat and dirt from my sore body. Blood dripped from my fingertips as the water pushed itself across the cracked blisters that forced themselves on my overworked hands. You don't realise what you take for granted until it's taken away from you. To be able to use shampoo and soap again was a miracle. To be able to smell nice again was a miracle. Turning the shower off was the hard part, though. The steam above me lifted as I toweled down my freshly clean body. I didn't like looking at my body anymore. The scars brought back memories that I buried deep somewhere, and they suddenly hurt all over again. The marks that Crowley had left were scarring over, leaving silver marks instead. I threw my faded grey t-shirt over my head and pulled my jeans on, pushing the dark thoughts to the back of my mind. I threw my towel in the laundry basket, thankful laundry wasn't my chore.

I was hoping everyone had finished their dinner and went back to their day by now but when I entered our cell block, Rick, Carl, Carol, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel and Beth sat and stood around a table, eating and talking. I helped myself to dinner, setting a generous amount of rice and beans onto my plate and sat myself down on a table on the other side of the room from the others. I didn't taste the food as it went down, I concentrated on trying to block out the laughter that had erupted on the other side of the room. I mentally kicked myself. I used live for these moments, but now I couldn't stand to be around anyone but myself. I didn't even know why, but I hated everything now. Especially myself for feeling this way. I would give anything to have things back to normal, but that's not how things were.

When I noticed Carol making her way over to me, I snapped my head back down so fast I thought I might have whiplash. I had never found rice and beans so interesting than in that moment, as Carol sat herself across from me and I could feel her eyes burning holes into my skull. "Why are you over here by yourself?" Her voice sounded authoritative, I felt like I was being told off by a teacher. I shrugged, I couldn't even tell myself let alone anyone else. "We miss you" I finally met her eyes, shocked how she had just came out with it.

I sighed, these kinds of conversations made me anxious lately. "I miss me, too" I told her truthfully. I missed my sense of humour the most.

She smiled her sympathetic smile, but it calmed me more than annoyed me. "Let us help you find yourself again, then" Her words hit me hard, and suddenly flashes of feelings that I hadn't been feeling lately hit me like a truck. I missed Carol, I missed them all. She was right, I needed their help to get through whatever it was that I'm going through. I'm an idiot for thinking I could do this alone. She reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly before getting up and joining the others. The sudden desire to be around the people I loved made me rise to my feet. My legs felt like jelly as I walked over to them painfully slow. Everybody looked over at me as I sat myself down next to Hershel, but it took me a minute to compose myself and actually look at them. There were smiles all around. Rick smiled down at me as he bounced Judith on his hip bone. Carl, too, as he stuffed his face with his plate of beans and rice. Glenn and Maggie as they held each other quietly underneath the table. Carol and she hugged herself. Hershel as he gently clasped his hand on my shoulder. Beth as she nonchalantly played with her wrist watch. I felt like I had been welcomed into a home I was already living in. The ache that made my chest heavy lifted slightly and I could already feel their help shining through. We sat there for a while, filling our stomachs and joking around with each other. I didn't talk much, but they made me laugh for the first time in what felt like forever. I was finally part of the group once again and I will never let this slip. I went to bed with a smile on my face that night, before the night terrors decided to kick in.

"Hey, man. You need some help?" Tyreese asked me. It was early in the morning and I was already sweating underneath the burning sun as I hammered away at the half built outdoor kitchen.

Yesterday I would have told him no and to never come back, but today was a day of redemption. "Yeah, that'd be awesome" I hadn't spoken to Tyreese or Sasha much, they came at a bad time in my life. I regretted blowing them off every time they made any effort towards me. I planned on changing things, though.

Tyreese helped me hold planks in place, hammering away with his own hammer that never left his side. As I looked over, the sight of the walkers in the distance pushing themselves up against one space against the fence caught my eye. "There's more and more every day" Usually the walkers are spread out all across the prison fences but lately they've been concentrating on one part of the fence. It was weird.

Tyreese's eyes followed mine. "Yeah. We're gonna have to start getting some people to kill them"

We got back to work but I felt like I couldn't leave it at that. "Look, man. I'm sorry for bein' distant and a downright asshole. You and Sasha were nothin' but nice to me but I didn't wanna know you. I'm gonna make it better, though"

His face was hard but his voice soft. "You don't need to apologise. I understand, you went through hell and you're still here. If anything, I admire you for getting on with it"

I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. This was way more than I deserved, but it wasn't the time to argue about it. "I'm tryin', man" I squinted in the sun. I was feeling a lot of love for the man I had refused to get to know.

He smiled a gentle smile. "That's all you gotta do"

Sweat dripped down my back, making my t-shirt cling to me. I took it off and tucked it into the waistband of my shorts, frustrated by the heat. Tyreese still had his scruffy beanie on and I had no idea how the guy was still going. Karen came over after a little while, her hands on her hips as she watched Tyreese break a sweat. When he noticed her, his face beamed and he took his hat off, wiping the sweat off his brow with his forearm. "Karen, hey" The poor guy seemed almost nervous.

Karen must've noticed this since she laughed a little before speaking. "I spoke to Rick, I'm going down there to kill some of them, see if it'll help. You wanna come?"

I didn't think his smile could get any bigger. "Sure, I'll meet you down there"

"Okay" She gave him a big smile herself and then made her way to the fence.

I watched him watch her walk away, a smile still playing on his lips. When he turned around, he didn't try to hide the face that he was besotted with that woman. "Goin' on a date?" I asked him with a smirk on my face.

"I wish" He went back to finish up what he was doing before going down to meet Karen and I appreciated the extra five minutes of company. I wished he wasn't here though when Beth and Zach came walking up about to pass us. They laughed together as they walked at a slow pace, their hands brushing against each other. I could feel a throbbing so hard in my chest it almost became painful. Beth's smile faded when her eyes landed on mine, I looked down. I didn't want her to see the pain I was in watching her to be happy with someone else. I went back to work and was banging a little too hard after they walked past, Tyreese took notice. He gently put a hand on my shoulder and I stopped mid-hammer. "Hey. Maybe you should take a break"

I nodded quickly, not looking him in the eye. "Yeah, you're right" I threw the hammer to the floor. "Enjoy your date" I heard him chuckle as I walked away swiftly.

I was making my way to my cell, I didn't know what I was going to do and I didn't get to find out since Daryl stopped my in our cell block. "Hey, kid" He called out as he came down the stairs just ten feet away from my cell.

"What?" I snapped. I didn't know why I was already so frustrated but I already felt guilty about it. "Sorry, I'm workin' on it"

He nodded. "That's why I wanted to ask you somethin'" His fringe rested on his eyelashes and whenever he blinked, his hair moved with them. "Listen, me and some others startin' up a council. With Rick steppin' down, we need a little order. We want you to be a part of it"

I frowned at him, shocked at confused. "Why?" It sounded more like an accusation, as if this was some sort of sick joke.

Daryl shrugged a little. "You got views, we wanna hear 'em" I sighed at that, it wasn't much of an answer. "Look, man. We ain't got much of the Atlanta group left. You know us better than anyone. And you might be a little bat shit crazy, but you're a good guy"

I chuckled at him a little, Daryl hated this kind of stuff and I could see it plainly on his face. "You're so in love with me"

He pushed my shoulder faster than I knew what was happening and I would've fallen over if it wasn't for the table behind me. "Shut up, man" He covered up his smile with a glare. "You join' us or not?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "I dunno, I ain't really the council type"

"And I am?" I half smiled at him. "We're meetin' in here in an hour, be here or don't" The sentence itself sounded mean but that was just Daryl's vocabulary. He walked out and left me to my thoughts. I headed inside my cell and I still had no idea why I was coming here. The conversation with Daryl made me a lot more calm and I was thankful for that, but I had no idea how to be a part of a council. I had pushed myself away from these people for so long, now they were forcing me back and I wanted to let them but I didn't know how.

I was pacing back and forth in my cell when I heard chatter get louder and louder. Hershel, Sasha, Glenn, Daryl and Carol seated themselves around the table and spoke about nothing of importance yet. I sat myself next to Carol, earning myself a nod of the head from Daryl.

"I created the council because Rick has decided to step down from leadership" Hershel began. "He deserves his break, but we need some kind of order. From now on, we'll discuss our problems among each other, away from the others. For now, our main problem is the walkers on the fence. It's controllable right now but in a few days, they could take it down"

Daryl nodded. "So we assign people to fence duty"

I didn't know why they wanted me there, all I did was sit back and quietly observe as they spoke about when people should be on fence duty. The only time a noise came out of my throat was when Daryl nearly fell backwards from his chair and I laughed my ass off. I still felt like I was part of some top-secret elite group, though.

I sat there patiently as they planned out who would work on fence duty and at what times. This isn't the kind of stuff I wanted to be involved in, I didn't care enough.

Once the meeting was over, I found myself making my way to the showers. All I could concentrate on was the thought of the hot water rolling down my back, cleansing me from all of my worries. As I rounded the corner not far from the showers, a small figure hit my chest and fell to the floor hard. "Watch where you're going, asshole" Cas growled angrily as she got to her feet. Her eyes locked on mine once she was up and they sent shivers down my back. Her hair was wet and pulled back, leaving her face exposed for the first time since she got here. Freckles littered her face, looking like the constellations in the sky. Her eyes had dots of light grey in them, looking like they were made of ice. No matter how much her eyes scared me, I could never bring myself to look away. She may be scary as fuck, but even I couldn't deny her beauty. Her brow creased more and more with every second I stood there and stared at her and I realised I should probably say something.

"Oh, sorry..." I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from her's and looking down at my feet.

She sighed heavily, sounding bored. "Whatever" She breathed before stepping around me and walking away.

"Cas, wait" I caught up to her but she didn't slow down or even look at me. I made the mistake of grabbing her wrist so she would stop but she pulled out her knife and pinned me up against the wall. The edge of the blade pinched at the faint hair on my throat, her face was furious. "Seems like we end up like this a lot" I felt calmer than I should've, since I had a small woman holding a knife to my throat.

"What the fuck do you want?" She asked me through clenched teeth.

"To apologise" A wave of surprise crossed her face but it was gone before it came.

I could tell she was still mad, even when she let go of me and put her knife away. "It's too late for that"

I nodded, rubbing my neck a little. "I know, but you guys came in at a bad time in my life and I'm tryin' to make up for lost time"

She looked me up and down a little before she spoke. "That doesn't make it okay"

"I know" I told her again. "I was an asshole, but I was just tryin' to help. I ain't too far gone, I hope you know that"

After a minute of thinking on it, she finally replied. "Okay" And then she walked away.

The sun was setting and we were all in cell block C enjoying each other's company. Well, I sat on the stairs and observed, happy that they were happy. Most people's attention was on Rick and Carl trying to teach Judith a bunch of words. I didn't work that well, but it seemed to entertain everybody.

Michonne came back and Rick looked at her expectedly from the other side of the room but she walked past him and came straight to me. She threw something at me and it bounced off my chest and landed in my lap. Picking it up, I noticed it was a black pair of working gloves. She smiled at me and looked at my hands. "You can finally stop hurting your damn self" She explained.

"Gee, thanks, Santa Claus" Despite my sarcasm, I was actually really appreciated it. My hands hurt consistently. And it was nice to be thought about.

Michonne sat down for something to eat and I tried my gloves on. They were a little tight on my oversized hands but they were nice and thick.

I went back to observing and I was watching Tyreese and Karen speak to each other in hushed voices away from each other when Beth came out of her cell. I jaw nearly fell to the floor when I realised she was wearing the blue plaid shirt I gave her. I couldn't find the words to describe how beautiful she looked. She wore a pair of blue ripped jeans underneath and some socks. She started walking over to me when she caught a glimpse of me and my heart started racing. We hadn't spoken properly since she told me she couldn't be around me anymore and it had been so hard. She smiled as she sat down next to me and I was suddenly so aware of how close our knees were. "Hi" She simply said in her sweet voice.

"Hey" I replied, trying to control myself.

"How's the buildin' goin'?" She asked me, making small talk.

"Better with these babies" I lifted up the pair of gloves Michonne gave me.

She smiled again, secretly making my heart melt. "Can't wait to see it finished" She sounded genuine. Then the conversation died as we both watched the others. I didn't think we'd ever have a conversation again, but here she was, worming her way back into my god damn heart, ruining me and saving me all over again. "I got you a present"

My ears perked up at that. "What?" I wondered if I had heard her right.

"Come with me" She grabbed my hand and dragged me to my feet. As she led me to her cell, all I could think about was how nice her hand felt in mine. Her skin was warm and soft against my hardened wounded ones. I felt like everybody was watching us as we entered her cell hand in hand. "Close your eyes" I did as I was told, not knowing what to expect. I heard her shuffled around before she draped something over my shoulders. "Open them" I did and then looked down to find a dark green plaid shirt. I immediately smiled and put my arms through the sleeves. She began doing up the buttons and I forgot about the shirt as her hands lightly brushed against my chest as she put a button through its hole. She was so close I could feel her body heat radiating off her. I wanted to pull her close and never let her go but I couldn't ruin it. Not again. She did the top button up and looked up at me innocently, waiting. "Do you like it?"

I looked down again and I felt grateful that Beth was even thinking about me enough to get me a present after what she told me. I realised that maybe she can't stay away from me if she wants to or not, just like I can't stay away from her. Or maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. I looked back into her big eyes. "I love it" I smiled the usual dorky smile she always made me do and then we both fell silent. It was awkward, but I didn't mind because Beth Greene was stood in front of me. I could tell she wanted to ask me something, but it was like she was trying to talk herself into it inside her head. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She fidgeted with her hands and I wanted to put mine on top of them to calm her, like I used to. But I couldn't. "I just wanted to know that you're okay" She finally whispered.

I frowned in confusion. Was she starting small talk again? "I'm fine, why?"

She looked up at me, her eyes sad. "No, I mean... are you really okay?"

I opened my mouth a couple of times to reply but nothing came out. I couldn't lie to her after the lengths she just went through to show me she cared but I couldn't worry her with the depressing truth. "I'm really tryin' to be, Beth"

She seemed to like that since her body came crashing into mine, holding onto me as hard as she could. My heart fluttered at the gesture and I held on to her for dear life, never wanting to let go. Feeling her chest move as she breathed against me felt like she was giving me life with each rise. I wondered if she knew she had this effect on me. I wondered if I had that effect on her. The feeling, her warmth, her tight grip around my waist, it was all so overwhelming. I needed to get out of here before I lost control of myself and just kissed her. Pulling away a little but not letting go of her, I gently grabbed her wrist and bought it up to my face so I could see the time on her watch. It was nearly 10pm and I was probably going to get up early anyway so bedtime is a great excuse. I saw a smirk play on her lips when I let go of her wrist and she let it fall on my chest. She wasn't making this easy. "I gotta go to bed"

I felt her sigh gently against my chest and we both pulled away at the same time. I instantly regretted it as the cold air hit the place where Beth was and should still be. I ran my fingers through my hair and she watched me with interest. "Goodnight, Adam" She said quietly.

I nodded my head and exited her cell. Before I was out, though, I turned around. "Thank you, Beth. Seriously" She gave me her sweet smile and I went back to my cell, feeling tired. Today was the best day I had in a long while.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hope you guys had a great Christmas, and an even drunker new years! I know I will, haha.**

* * *

At some point in the past few weeks, Beth and Zach started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I wasn't surprised. I expected it, really. That didn't keep me from avoiding them, though. On the rare occasions that Beth and I made eye contact, she'd give me this sad, guilty smile, pleading for forgiveness. There was nothing for me to forgive. I wasn't mad at her for trying to be happy, that's all I ever really wanted for her. It just kills me that she wasn't happy with me.

My growling stomach growled angrier when there wasn't anybody making breakfast in our cell block. In fact, nobody was even in our cell block. My curiosity was officially piqued and I began my search for them after pulling on my fresh, new shirt over my white t-shirt.

They weren't too hard to spot once I got outside since they were all at the finished outdoor kitchen I built. When I say all, I mean all. Everyone from A and B were sat around or standing up eating from bowls and plates. Children ran around it, playing together. I was taken aback at how homely the sight felt, but I shook it off and made my way over to where Rick and the rest stood, near the oven. Conversations stopped and eyes stayed on me as I made my way, watching me. Some nodded their heads as I passed by them, others even smiled. I was defiantly an asshole to at least 80% of these people so I had no idea what was going on.

Conversation started up again behind me as I approached Carol who was already serving me something up. "They're really grateful that you built this" Carol explained as she handed me a bowl of ramen noodles. That explained the staring.

I stuffed my face with the noodles and shrugged my shoulders. "All I did was put a few pieces of wood together"

Carol raised her eyebrow slightly. "Look at this" I looked around at all of the people eating together. She nudged me in the ribs gently. "This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you" That very Carol-like smile was back and I couldn't help but smile back down at her, my mouth full of noodles.

"That's cheesy as fuck" A smack on the side of my head nearly made me choke on my food. Carol was frowning due to my use of a bad word but I could tell she was amused. I laughed at her mothering nature and as much as she tried to stop herself, she laughed, too.

Catching a glimpse of Beth, my mood suddenly changed. She was walking my way, probably more to do with the fact that the food is right in front of me, hand in hand with Zach. The light smile that played on her lips didn't falter, even when her eyes met mine. For some reason, that made me feel worse. I put my empty bowl on the side and started to walk away, to where I had no idea. "Going so soon?" Carol asked and I faced her once more. "You're gonna miss out on all the fun" She was still in her playful mood.

I rubbed the back of my neck, preparing myself to lie to her. "Yeah, I ain't feelin' too good all of a sudden"

She was about to speak before she spotted Beth and Zack getting their bowls from the other side of the table. She shot a worried look my way and I couldn't help but give her an apologetic smile before leaving her.

I found Maggie at the top of the guard tower, holding the sniper rifle close to her chest. She didn't jump when I silently joined her, she only smiled a warm smile. "You should go and join the others" I told her, wanting to be alone.

A confused frown appeared on her face as she looked at her watch. "I still got another few hours"

I shrugged. "I feel like I gotta do somethin' useful, though"

I saw her body tense slightly and I already knew she was reading my mind. "Beth?"

I wanted to lie to her but I nodded before I could stop myself. She nodded back in reply, glancing off in the distance. I wondered if that was the end of the conversation before she spoke. "She still loves you, you know"

She told me this as if I had already known. "I don't even think she loved me in the first place, let alone now that she has Zach"

Maggie laughed suddenly, almost making me jump. "She defiantly loves you, Adam"

I sighed. This information was way out of date. "Why are you tellin' me all this?" It came out sounding more like an accusation than a question.

She didn't speak for a while as she looked onto the forest. Her eyes were glazed over and unseeing and I knew she was remembering something. "Whenever she's with you, it's the happiest I've ever seen her" She didn't look at me as she spoke, her eyes still glazed over. I wondered if she was seeing Beth's beaming smile as the both of us played footsie as we ate dinner away from the others. She suddenly snapped out of it and we made eye contact. "She's happy with Zach, but she doesn't look at him like how she looks at you. Even when she's sittin' next to him, her eyes are locked on you" She smiled. "You just don't see it 'cause you run away every time you see her"

She was right. I couldn't stand to be around her anymore because my heart got so heavy every time it became unbearable.

"You should get down there, show 'em you ain't scared" She flashed her teeth as she squinted in the sun. I nodded, she was right again.

"Thanks, bro" I playfully punched her in her arm.

"Whatever you ass" She laughed and pushed me towards the exit.

Back in the outdoor kitchen, most people had left but some were still eating or just hanging around before they began their chores. Beth, Zach and Cas were all seated together not too far away from Carol, Judith, Tyreese and Sasha stood talking. I felt the trio's eyes on me as I walked past them to join the latter. None of them had seen me voluntarily join anyone anywhere near them ever since Beth and Zach declared their love to one another. Judith sat on the floor besides Carol's feet playing with blocks Daryl probably found for her. Carol's eyes widened a little when she saw me but soon became warm as she greeted me. "You're back for seconds already?" That made the other two laugh.

"Well I actually came to see if you needed any help clearin' up, but after your smart ass comment it ain't happenin'" I joked.

She laughed, looking relieved that I was in a good enough mood to joke back. "Get busy then, honey bun" She smiled her sweet smile.

"Yes, ma'am"

There wasn't many dishes left to be washed so I wouldn't be here forever. I started with all the knives and forks, leaving the plates and bowls until last because they're easier. Having my hands stuck in this hot, soapy water brought back memories from my childhood. I broke one of my mom's vases once and she got so mad that I had to do the dishes for two weeks. Logan laughed at me every time he saw me in the kitchen covered in water, trying and failing at cleaning the dishes. Mom got frustrated enough that after a week, she let me stop because nothing was ever clean. That was the last time I washed the dishes. She'd probably be laughing at me if she saw me now, in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and trying not to get water all down myself. Thinking about this made me happy and sad at the same time. I'm glad neither of my parents got to see what the world has become, though.

"Adam?" A soft voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I found Beth standing in front of me, holding even more dishes.

I knew I was gaping so I tried to keep my cool. "Hey" Her smile was gentle, I could tell she was being cautious because she thought I might flip out about Zach so I tried to put her at ease with humour. "Looks like you got more work for me"

She giggled a little. "Sadly. Thought I'd collect 'em all, so you didn't have to, I guess"

I couldn't help but feel a little smug. Even with Zach right over there, it was plain to see how into me she was. I wondered if he had noticed, yet. I took the dishes from her hands. "Thank you, now I ain't gotta move my prawny fingers" I showed her my fingers that looked like they had ages a hundred years and she giggled again. Her eyes trailed down to my chest and I realised she noticed that I was wearing the shirt she had given me. I inwardly smiled to myself.

"I guess I better go" She said and my heart dropped a little. She opened her mouth a little to say something else but she stopped herself. She gave me a small smile before turning around to leave. I couldn't help but think it looked a little sad. I watched her walk away from me and approach Zach. As she walked I couldn't help but notice how good her ass looked.

Carol thanked me once I had finished cleaning the dishes and the table. I soon found myself back in our empty cell block with nothing to do. I sat at the table near the stairs and opened a comic book that Carl gave me. He gave it me a while ago and I hadn't really got around to read it. I wasn't sure if it was because I was busy or because comic books didn't really interest me. Nevertheless, I sat there and read the bubbled words.

Just as Spider-Man was getting a beat down from Sandman, Beth strolled past me and into her cell. The inside of her cell was in perfect view from where I sat so I watched her grab her journal and lie on her stomach on her bed. She began scribbling in it, her concentration frown smoothed other, though as her eyes slowly trailed to mine. My breathing hitched in my throat and I felt like I had been caught doing something bad but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her's. A shy smile played on her lips and she went back to scribbling in her journal. I tried to go back to my comic book but every time my eye trailed over the words, I found myself not reading them but instead thinking about Beth. Why was she in my head so much? It's like she dug her way into my brain and never intends to leave. I sighed and flicked the page of the comic book, hoping something will distract me.

That failed when Beth's screams echoed through the cell block. I was on my feet before I had even processed the possibilities of what could be happening. I sprinted to her cell to find her crawled up on her bed, searching for something on the ground. "What's wrong?" I asked her, my panic slipping through.

"There was a spider, I don't know where it is" She told me in a panicked rush. I felt a wave of relief wash through me. She was okay.

I started to laugh uncontrollably at her reaction and I felt her scowl burn into me. "Okay, okay. I got this" I told her, my confidence building. I got on my hands and knees to look under the bed for the insect and there sat the biggest spider I had ever seen. His legs were hairier than mine, quite possibly longer. Fangs snapped as his red eyes looked daringly into mine. Okay, I was probably exaggerating. But the fucker was big and my confidence creeped back down to zero when he ran out from under the bed towards me. A high-pitched scream escaped my lips and I jumped on the bed next to Beth. I felt my face flush red when she started chuckling.

"I thought you got this?"

"Yeah, well... thought I'd prepare myself first" I told her as I took off my black boot and waved it in front of my face. The whale with eight legs ran near the table which Beth and I had broken so long ago and stayed still. I slowly creeped off the bed and towards him, freezing when one of his hairy man legs twitched. With my boot in hand, I slowly made my way to him. "Shit!" And a couple of other screams escaped my lips when he started running at me and I panicked, throwing my boot in his general direction and jumping back to my spot on the bed. Beth and I intently watched around where the boot was, waiting for him to jump out but he never did. When I finally mustered up the courage, I crept off the bed again and tiptoed towards the boot. In one quick motion, I kicked the boot and scrambled back, expecting the fucker to run at me. But there he was, underneath the boot not moving. His hairy man legs were curled up to his body. I cautiously picked up my boot and poked him with it but he never retaliated. "He's dead" I told Beth as I struggled to put my boot back on.

She never replied, she only laughed, holding her stomach and falling sideways onto her bed. "Shut up" I mumbled under my breath but I couldn't contain my smile.

"I never knew you could scream like that" She mocked me before laughing again.

"Yeah, well, I never saw you jumpin' off the bed and risking your life!"

"Whatever" She giggled out. She got off the bed and grabbed a piece of paper, kicked the whale spider's corpse onto it and let it slide into her waste bin. "Anyway, thank you. For gettin' rid of the spider and for the entertainment" She smiled.

I put my hands in my pockets and shrugged. "S'what I'm here for" She went back to her bed and back to her room and I no longer felt like I was welcome. So I left her cell.

I stopped myself just as I got outside, though. This was the perfect opportunity and I was letting it slip through my fingers. I turned around and stormed back into her cell before I changed my mind.

"Do you love me?" It came out before I even knew what I wanted to say to her. Her big eyes flicked up to mine, surprised by the question.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to find the words to say. She put down her pen and sat up, letting her feet dangle off her bed. "Adam, I'm with Zach -" Her voice and small and quiet. I cut her off, angry at her for avoiding the question.

"You're with Zach, yeah, I know. But the question ain't changed" I told her impatiently. I sat down next to her and watched her avoid eye contact. Her body language screamed uncomfortable but I didn't care. This needed to be out in the air.

"I..." Was all she could muster as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. I didn't know if it was the beast I had just slain but the courage just kept coming. I put my one hand on top of her's to calm her, just like I have done before and her entire body froze.

With my free hand, I cupped her cheek and gently forced her face to face mine so she would look at me. And she did. Her green eyes were awkward and sad. I studied her for a moment as I gently caressed her cheek slightly before I spoke. "Beth, do you love me?" I whispered. Our faces were inches apart and if there were any noises other than her voice, I wouldn't have been able to hear it.

A tear fell down her cheek as she blinked at me. If felt like a life time, but she finally whispered her response. "Yes"

That was all it took for my lips to come crashing down on her's with an urgancy I'd only ever felt once in my life. My body felt like it was on fire the moment our lips met. I thought she was never going to kiss me back and I almost gave up, but the moment her lips started reacting against mine, I could feel that I was losing myself in her. She met me with the same urgency, one hand brushing through my hair while the other held my face in place. I could feel her nose breathing heavily on my face, we were both desperate for air but neither one of us wanted this to end. The need for oxygen overcame us in the end, though and we both pulled away at the same time, not letting our faces go more than a few inches away from each other. We breathed hard as we watched each other, unsure of what had just happened. Her face was fulled of mixed emotions but I could only place two. Horror and desire. She was either going to scold me or kiss me again, and as much as I wanted the latter to happen, I couldn't. She'd hate herself for it, and me as well. I should probably apologise, but I didn't want to. She wanted this just as much as I did. I decided on not saying anything, because there wasn't anything left for me to say. I kissed her cheek softly, letting it linger and left her cell.


	27. Chapter 27

I was finally joining the others on a run. I didn't even bribe them or threaten them to let me go, we discussed it during a council session and they're short on people. Daryl even seemed a little excited. Maybe.

An uneasy feeling wouldn't leave my gut as I filled up the trunk of the car we were going to use with gas, weapons, food, everything we needed just in case we got stranded. Thinking about the fact that I haven't left the prison for a few weeks made me realise that it was nerves. I was nervous about being out in the open again and I couldn't shake it off. This god damn prison was making me soft and I hadn't even noticed.

I looked behind me and saw Daryl loading up another truck with Zach, who idly stood by talking with Beth. I still couldn't handle seeing them together, no matter how hard I tried for her. Beth and I spoke more since we kissed. Not in a romantic way, but somehow getting it all out in the open helped us become friends again. It was nice to have her around, even though I haven't touched her since that night. A familiar burn in my chest made an appearance when she kissed him on the cheek before walking away and my breathing became shaky. But the small smile she gave me as she waved to me brought my mood back up and I forgot all about Zach as I waved back.

"Hey" A strange voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned my attention to the small black guy who stood in front of the car, addressing Sasha. "I'd like to start pulling my weight around here" He told her with a smile spread across his face.

"Bob, it's only been a week" She sighed as she leaned on the open car door.

"That a week worth of meals. A roof over my head" He took a step closer. "Let me earn my keep"

She sighed again, looking more tense than I have ever seen her before. "You were out on your own when Daryl found you"

"That's right" His smile was still there.

"I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team"

"Ain't we low on people?" I asked her. It was a no brainer for me, the more people I had around me the safer I felt.

"You know he was a medic in the Army" Glenn informed her.

Bob's smile was gone but pride washed over his face as Glenn said that. "You a hell of a tough sell. You know that?" His face was full of amusement, now.

Sasha looked at him for a while, the slightest smile playing on her lips. "Okay" was all she said before we all get inside the car.

We all got out when we had apparently reached our destination. I hadn't even known where we were going, but now that I was out, I felt more free than I had for a long time. "Army came in and put these fences up. Made ut a place for the people to go" Daryl told those of us who had no idea where we were. "Last week when we spotted this place, there was a bunch of walkers behind this chain link keepin' people out like a bunch of guard dogs"

"So they all just left?" Bob seemed confused.

"Give a listen" Sasha said with a smug smile on her face.

That we did. Classical music boomed from the other side of the building. "You drew 'em out" It wasn't a question, and Michonne's face looked like she didn't believe them as she said it.

"Put a boom box out there three days ago"

"Hooked it up to two car batteries" Glenn told us as he fiddled with his gun.

"Alright, let's make a sweep" Daryl ordered as we all entered a gap in the fence. Blood dripped from the edges of the gap, it couldn't have been anything except the dead that made a hole like this. "Make sure it's safe. Grab what you can. We'll come back tomorrow with more people"

With my hunting rifle held up against my chest ready for action, I followed the others. We stalked past Army green tents and Army jeeps. Dead bodies littered the floor like it was nothing. They weren't walker dead, though. These people were alive right before they died and stayed dead. "C'mon" Daryl mumbled as we reached the building. He banged his elbow on the glass three times and sat on the small wall. "Just give it a second"

"Okay, I think I got it" Zach blurted out out of no where.

"Got what?" Michonne asked. He had all of our attention, now. I sat on the wall besides Daryl and waited for him to go on.

"Oh, I've been tryin' to guess what Daryl did before the turn" He shifted himself off the wall and sat on the other side of Daryl, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his shotgun.

"He's been tryin' to guess for like, six weeks" Daryl frowned.

"Yeah, I'm pacin' myself. One shot a day" He held his shotgun with both hands in his lap as he watched Daryl. I was intrigued as to what he was going to say because I had no idea what Daryl did before all of this.

"Alright, shoot" Daryl seemed like he wanted to get this over with but I knew he was just as intrigued as Michonne and I were.

Zach prepared himself, obviously excited to get it out. "Well, the way you are at the prison. You being on the council, you're being able to track, you're helping people. But you're still being kind of uh... surly" I saw Michonne make a face at that. It was interesting word use. "Big swing here" I didn't think he could ready himself anymore. He watched Daryl for a few seconds before letting it out. "Homicide cop"

Michonne and I lost it at that. The thought of being arrested by Daryl was so unrealistic. "What's so funny?" Daryl asked us in his usual grumpy tone.

"Nothin', it makes perfect sense" Michonne replied, her voice full of amusement.

"Actually the man's right. Undercover" Daryl's face was full of pride.

Zach's smile faded as he realised Daryl was telling the truth. "C'mon, really?"

Daryl nodded. "Yep. I don't like to talk about it 'cause it was a lot of heavy shit, you know?"

Zach was dumbfounded, he still couldn't believe him. "Dude, c'mon, really?" They stared at each other, then. After a few seconds, Daryl grunted and Zach spoke again. "Okay, I'll just keep guessing, I guess"

"Yeah, you keep doin' that" Daryl replied quickly before walkers began banging on the windows behind us. I jumped up at the suddenness but Daryl didn't even flinch.

"We gon' do this, Detective?" Michonne remarked sarcastically.

"Let's do it"

Sasha opened the main door and there was only around 5 walkers. We took them out easily and dragged their bodies outside. "Alright, we go in, stay in formation for the sweep" Sasha instructed. "After that, you all know what you're supposed to look for. Any questions?"

I didn't care for questions, neither did the rest of us since we all held up our weapons and entered with caution.

Each of us got a shopping cart and ventured down separate isles. By the smell, I guessed mine was food. What used to be loaves of bread sat on the right side of the aisle and on the left sat what used to be cakes. They were rotted to the extent where they were disintegrating into nothing. Further up was where the canned food lay, but it was bare. Only a few jars of peanut butter were left. The Army or someone else must've cleared it out in the early days. I was just about to turn into the next isle when the smashing of glass filled the air, followed by a loud bang and Bob's screaming. I ditched the cart to find a shelf had fallen on top of Bob. The others were already there checking it out. Shattered glass crunched under my feet as I got in position to lift the shelf. It wasn't heavy, but the could have something to do with the fact that Tyreese was helping and he was built like a brick house. "Everyone's alright, we're over in wine and beer" Zach calmed a worried Sasha in the distance. I realised it was hard to dislike Zach, especially away from the prison and away from Beth.

A loud crash came from the ceiling and I looked up to find a walker dangling from its guts that got caught on debris as it came crashing through. Blood came pouring onto the ground and I felt the coolness hit my face. We stared up in awe as it thrashed around hungrily, unaware of its dramatic entrance. "Yeah, uh, we should probably go now" Glenn said nervously.

"Bob's still stuck, get him outta there" Daryl grunted.

Suddenly, more walkers were dropping through the ceiling. One landed near my feet, narrowly missing my head. I thought quickly and stuck my knife in its head before it had the chance to get up. But more and more were falling through like rain. They landed all over the place, on shelves, boxes, their heads. They were walking at us, now and I heard Bob call out for help but we were all too busy helping ourselves. One came at me but I hit it with the butt of my rifle making its skull break and killing it instantly. I noticed Glenn on the floor with two of them on top of him so I ran out of reach of another and kicked on off of him, giving him an opening that he instantly took. With walkers still falling through the ceiling, I could hear the panic of the others as they shot their guns frantically. Dodging more, I ran to find Bob again. Just in time, I found a footless walker crawling up to him. I dragged it away from him by its collar and stamped on its head right before a loud screeching noise came from the ceiling. Something else was going to come down and by the sounds of it, something big. Zach finally joined me and he lifted up the shelf with a struggle, but I dragged Bob out and Daryl helped him up out of no where. I was about to turn around and leave when Zach began screaming behind me. A walker from underneath the shelf that he put back down was ripping out the ligaments from his calf. Zach dropped to the floor as the walker began dragging him under. Panic overwhelmed me and I ran to him. The walker was out of reach so I tried dragging him out. "Get your ass out, man!" I screamed at him over the sound of the ceiling falling through.

"I can't!" He screamed, his face screwed up in pain.

"Don't be an asshole, Zach, I don't wanna be the one to tell Beth your dumb ass got crushed in a grocery store" I tried to calm him but I knew it was too late, he'd already been bitten. The walker overtook him and lay on his back, taking a chunk out of his neck and sending blood spraying everywhere. The screech that came from Zach's throat was inhuman. The ground began to shake and I felt a rough pair of hands drag me to my feet and I knew I had to run. As quickly as I could, I followed to others away from where the helicopter had crashed through the ceiling. Another second and I would have been underneath it with Zach.

I clutched at my chest when we managed to get outside. It was heaving, trying to suck as much air in as possible. No one spoke or moved for a long time. We stood there to catch our breaths, trying to take in what had just happened. Zach died, and we nearly did, too. Sasha finally spoke, saying we should head back but no one said anything. We all just hung our heads and followed.

As soon as we got back, I slammed the car door and left the others behind me. "Adam" Daryl stopped me, but I didn't turn around. "Where you goin'?"

"To find Beth" I sighed and carried on.

My hands were a sweaty, trembling mess. I'm scared of what her reaction will be, even though I know what it will probably be anyway. As I approached her cell, I was thankful no one was around. She was laying on her stomach writing in her journal again, oblivious to the horrors I had just witnessed. She looked up once I got close, but I hovered at the doorway feeling awkward. "Hey" She said softly as she smiled.

"Hey" I replied glumly. I stuck my hands in my pockets. I didn't want to be doing this to her but I knew I had to.

Her smile faded fast enough as she looked me up and down. "What is it?" Her voice was small.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn't get it out. I rubbed my face with my one hand and let it fall back into my pocket. I looked down at my chest and remembered I was covered in blood, some of it being Zach's from when the walker opened up his neck. Fuck. "Zach, he..." I couldn't say anymore. I clenched my teeth, angry at myself.

Ever so slowly, her eyes fell down to the floor as it clicked in her mind. She shifted uncomfortably. "Is he dead?" It came out quick and just as small as last time.

Her gentle eyes burned holes into me as she waited for an answer and it was my turn to shift uncomfortably. She had to have guessed what the answer is by now but she was still waiting. She wanted me to say it out loud. I looked right back into her eyes and told her the truth. "Yeah" My voice was barely a whisper.

Her eyes dropped again as she fiddled with the pen that she still held in her hand. Her expression didn't falter one bit as sat up, looking around her room. Her eyes caught sight of something on her shelf and she walked over to it. It read "This workplace has gone 30 days without an incident". After hesitating a little, she pulled off the three and stood there, looking at it in her hands. "Did you want this to happen?" She whispered to me. It didn't sound much like an actual accusation, more like genuine curiosity. But I couldn't help but feel offended.

"Of course not" I defended myself, my voice a little louder now. I had to remember that she must be hurting though, I'd rather her take it out on me than have her bottle it up.

"Then why are you here? Why did you have to tell me? Why not Glenn or Daryl?" She seemed pissed off but I really couldn't blame her.

I said nothing for a while. I couldn't give her the answers to those questions because I didn't have them. All I knew is that it had to be me. "I'm sorry, Beth" Was all I said before leaving her standing there in her cell.

The next morning at breakfast outside, Beth sat with Glenn and Maggie on one of the tables furthest away from me. I sat alone, not feeling very talkative. She hasn't looked at me since last night, let alone speak to me and I'm beginning to panic slightly. But I couldn't act on it, she needed her space. Her boyfriend had just died and I broke the news to her as I stood there covered in his blood. I ate half of my breakfast and threw away the rest, my appetite was apparently no longer existent. Before letting Carol object, I made my way to the bottom of the fence where all of the walkers had decided to push themselves up against. I unhooked the fire poker from the other side of the fence that was left from the others on fence duty and played with it in my hands as I looked at the horde that stood before me, growling angrily at the sight of me. I was spoilt for choice, I didn't know which one to start with. I thought about how many lives they've taken, how many friends they've taken. Rage filled up inside me and I clenched my teeth, sticking the fire poker into the closest walker. That one was for Logan. Another one. That was for Marley. Another, for Amy. Another, for Jim. For Jackie. For Sophia. For Dale. For Shane. For T-Dog. For Lori. For Merle. For Andrea. For Zach. They dropped like flies and slid down the fence the angrier I got, but it got too much after the last name. I was grinding my teeth by this point and I threw the fire poker to the floor and wiped my brow. "Adam?" A voice called out gently. As gentle as it was, it still made me jump.

"Beth?" I looked behind me to find her walking towards me slowly, almost cautiously. She must've seen the small break down I just had. Awesome.

"What're you doin'?" She asked me curiously.

"Just blowin' off some steam, I guess" I put my hands on my hips, still out of breath.

She nodded but didn't press on it thankfully. She started a whole other topic completely. "I gotta say I'm sorry" She blurted out.

"What? What for?" I furrowed my brow.

She looked down at her feet, kicking the ground slightly. She reminded me of a child being lectured. "I acted like a jerk. Glenn told me you nearly died tryin' to save Zach" Her face was full of gratitude.

I shrugged. "I failed, though"

"But you tried" She didn't smile, but she looked almost proud. Without warning, she strode up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, squeezing tightly. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her, too. It wasn't a romantic hug, more like a 'We Might Die Tomorrow' kind of hug.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save him" I whispered into her hair.

"I know" She whispered back. I don't know how long we stood there for, but we completely forgot about the walkers gnawing on the gate beside us. We didn't care, because we needed each other right now and that was all that mattered.


	28. Chapter 28

"You're up late" Beth mocked as I dumped myself next to her at the table in our cell block. What she did know was that I'd hardly been to sleep, I tossed and turned all night and didn't feel like seeing anyone this morning. Nightmares have taken over my life, along with the walking dead and a small blonde girl.

"Yeah, yeah" I waved her off pretending I'm not exhausted.

"He's lazy, ain't that right, Judith?" Beth asked a bouncing Judith on her lap in a childlike voice. Judith gurgled in reply before going back to the red cup she was busy playing with.

"I've known Daryl a long time so I've been called worse" I smirked. She laughed at me but her eyes were still on Judith.

Hershel cleared his throat to get my attention by the stairs and once I made eye contact with him, he signaled for me to join him. I got up and as I made my way over, I wondered what the hell he wanted to talk to me about without Beth hearing. I was suddenly nervous as fuck. "You okay?" I asked him once I stood in front of him, my voice sounding smaller than I had hoped.

"I'm fine. Legs are better than ever" He gazed down at his prosthetic legs with admiration, a smile forming. It went before it came, though as he looked over my shoulder to Beth who nonchalantly played with Judith, unaware that this conversation was about to take a turn into her direction.

When I realised he wasn't going to be the first to speak, I frowned in frustration. I wished people would stop beating around the bush. "What's wrong?" The words came out in an agitated tone but I was now a little worried because he seemed a little worried.

He opened his mouth to speak but a distant, muffled gunshot stopped us all dead in our tracks. "What was that?" Beth called out to us as she panicked.

"I have to idea" I answered her honestly. But I planned to find out. I jogged to my cell and put my holster around my waist in a hurry. Wrapping the hunting rifle over my back, I made my way back to Hershel, Beth and Judith. "I'm gonna go and take a look, will you guys be okay here?" I asked them, feeling a little bad that I was leaving them. But I'd lock the gate behind me so nothing or no one could get in, which made me feel somewhat better. Another few gunshots rang through the prison and I felt chills going down my spine.

"We'll be fine. I have a pistol somewhere if needed" I nodded at Hershel who seemed as calm as he always was. "You be careful" It sounded like he was warning me but I brushed it off.

Before I could make my way out, though, Sasha, Daryl and Tyreese barged through the gate, all out of breath and sweaty. "What the fuck is going on?!" I half yelled at them before they even had the chance to process anything.

"Walkers in D" Sasha informed us. Another shot rang through and Judith began to cry.

"We gotta lock this up, you comin'?" Daryl asked as the three of them made their way to the other side of the gate.

"Hell yeah" I joined them on the other side and Daryl locked the gate. After sharing a panicked glance with Beth, we all sprinted out the cell block.

"What about C?!" We heard Rick yell to someone just as we got outside to join them.

"It's clear, we locked the gates to the tombs" Sasha informed him, none of us stopping.

"It ain't a breach" Daryl growled and Rick ran after us.

Gunshots started getting louder and we were all gasping for air by the time we reach cell block D, but that didn't slow us down when we saw what was inside. Walkers roamed all over the cell block, eating away at barely dead corpses. The lucky ones had guns to protect themselves with while the unlucky ones were feasting away at one another. People were trying to flood out of the cell block, screaming and panicking on their way but I ignored them. There were walkers that needed to be put down and I intended to do just that. Running past the crowd, there were people stuck on the other side of the cell block. Adults, kids, even whole families. We came to their aid and took down the closest walkers. Karen was there, too, she helped us get the people inside their cells and closed the gates behind them. A walker got a man to the ground and dug his teeth into his arm as the man cried for help. I kicked the walker in the face, managing to get it to the floor, and shot it right in the skull. I dragged the man to his feet and swung his arm over me, half carrying him over to his cell. Carol helped him to his bed and I left her to it. There was a walker trying to make its way down the stairs but it fell most of the way down, gnawing at my feet. One bullet was all it took for it to stop moving.

"Are we clear down here? Are we safe?" I heard Daryl yell.

"Yeah" I told him as I took out the last walker. "Upstairs"

Daryl and I stalked upstairs, ready for anything to jump out of one of the cells. And of course, a walker jumped out at me, pinning me up against the wall. Before I could defend myself, though, his body went crumbling to the floor after I heard Daryl's familiar 'whoosh' of an arrow being released. After taking a deep breath, I looked down at my attempted murderer. I would've said it was a normal walker, but it's blood coated face told me otherwise. "Oh, that's Patrick" Daryl told me and Rick who had just joined us.

"Is this the kid that liked the Lego?" I asked them and Rick nodded, his eyes a little wild.

The atmosphere had change dramatically from this morning. The people who were usually happily chatting to one another in the outdoor kitchen were now lying on the ground as walker corpses or regular corpses. A few of us went around each body and put our knives through their heads to prevent them from waking up again. People were crying again, but instead of panic, this time it was grief because of the people they had lost.

As we were upstairs, there was one still banging on the bars of its closed cell. I caught a quick glimpse of it before Rick took it down and blood had streamed out of its eyes and nose, I'd never seen anything like it. Rick looked at me in frustration and ran downstairs. Glenn and I exchanged a confused glance and then I opened the cell that the freshly dead walker was in. "Whoa" I whispered as I kneeled next to it, examining it's blood coated face.

"What the hell?" Glenn's voice was a little shaky after today's events.

"I ain't ever seen anythin' like it" I told him, not tearing my eyes away from the crisp blood on the walker's cheeks. I didn't know this man, but it didn't make me feel any better about the situation.

Rick eventually came back with Daryl, Hershel, Bob, and Dr. S right behind him. Dr. S didn't hesitate to get a closer look along with Rick, both of them examining it's face. "No bites, no wounds, I think he just died" Rick told the doctor.

"Horribly, too" Dr. S replied. He must be a glass empty kind of guy.

"Choked to death on his own blood. Caused those trails down his face" Hershel chimed in from the doorway.

"I've seen them before on a walker outside the fences" Rick informed us.

"Same thing must'a happened to Patrick" I told no one in particular.

"They're from the internal lung pressure building up. Like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only, imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top"

My eyebrows shot up out of surprise. "Wow, that's a nice thought, Dr. Happy" Sarcasm laced my voice and the doctor shot me a look.

"What, you want me to beat around the bush?"

I shrugged at him just as Bob asked him a question. "It's a sickness from the walkers?"

"No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain"

"How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?" Daryl asked in his gravely tone.

"I had a sick pig, it died quickly"

"Pigs and birds, that's how these things spread in the past. We need to do somethin' about those hogs"

"Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it" Dr. Happy almost hounded hopeful.

"I got a feelin' we ain't seen the last of this" I told them.

After a small silence, Hershel was the last one to speak. "All of us in here, we've all been exposed"

So I had been exposed to an obviously deadly virus and it didn't seem like there was much I could do to prevent me from catching it. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Here we are in the middle of the apocalypse fighting off vicious dead people and trying to to catch the flu.

I met the others in the library for an urgant council meeting. I still didn't know why they wanted me on this damn council, and I don't even know why I come at all, they don't even bring snacks to any of the meets. Seems kinda pointless to me. But we're all here now, so I thought I might as well stick it out.

"Patrick was fine yesterday, and he died overnight. Two people died that quick?" Carol began the meeting. "We'll have to separate everyone that's been exposed"

"That's everyone in that cell block" Daryl frowned.

"Don't forget about us" I reminded him, not being about to get the thought of our possible illness out of my mind.

"We know that this sickness can be lethal. We don't know how easily it spreads. Is anyone else showin' symptoms that we know of?" Hershel asked the group.

"We can't just wait and see. There are children" Carol argued.

"We need a place for them to go. They can't stay in D"

"We can use cell block A" Carol reminded us, her eyes slightly glazed over.

"Death row? Not sure that's much of an upgrade" Glenn's voice was small.

"It's clean. That's an upgrade" Daryl said bluntly. "Think that'll work for Dr. S?" He asked Hershel.

"I'll help Caleb get it set up"

Coughing coming from the hallways made us stop in our tracks. The six of us got up from our chairs and moved to the doorway to find Karen coughing into her hand as Tyreese walked her down the hall. "You don't sound so good" Carol told her.

The couple stopped walking. "We're just taking her back to my cell so she can rest" Tyreese told Carol politely.

"Tyreese, I don't think that's a good idea" Hershel warned them.

"Why, what's going on now?" Karen asked, looking worried.

"We think it's the flu or something. That's how Patrick died" Glenn's face told me that he didn't want to be the one to tell Karen that bit of information.

"Judith is in that cell block. She's vulnerable" Hershel took a step towards them. "Anyone that may be sick or even exposed should stay away"

"It killed Patrick?" Karen was confused.

"She's gonna be okay" Tyreese defended her. "Now that we know what Patrick died from we can treat it, right?"

"Don't panic. We're goin' to figure this out. We'll have Caleb take a look at you"

Karen sighed a shaky breath before speaking. "David from the Decatur group, he's been coughing too"

"I'll get him" Glenn told us, beginning to walk away. He quickly glanced behind him to Sasha. "There's some empty cells in the tombs, right?"

"Yeah, we'll meet you there" She called back to him and then he was gone.

"I'll get to burying the dead ones" Daryl told in a hushed voice.

"I'll help" I told him, immediately joining him by his side. His half nod of approval made me a little less queasy about burying the dead once again.

"You two wear gloves and a mask" Hershel ordered us and we both nodded before leaving them in the hallway.

We mainly dug in silence. We threw a few insults at each other like we usually did but we were both weighed down by today's events. Walker outbreak, a bunch of people dying, the return of the god damn black plague, it was like the universe hadn't thrown enough at us.

"So, this mysterious illness is like, super contagious, right?" I stopped digging and asked Daryl, I suddenly couldn't keep my thoughts to myself for some reason. He grunted in response. "Well, do you think we're sick?"

Daryl stopped digging now, too. He didn't wear the scowl he usually wore, his face was softer underneath the black bandana he wore over his nose and mouth. "Nah, we ain't sick" He went back to digging but I could tell his mind was somewhere else. "You're gonna be fine, kid"

I half smiled and half rolled my eyes at him. He hadn't called me 'kid' in a while. I got back to digging and let my mind wander again.

"Glad you were in there" Daryl's voice nearly made me jump, I hadn't realised Rick approached us from behind.

"Wasn't much use without my gun" Rick kicked a little dirt under his shoe.

"No, you were" Daryl reassured him while I sat on the edge of the grave I'd been digging and wiped my brow. "All this time you've been takin' off, you earned it"

"Yeah, man. Who knows where we'd be right now if it wasn't for you" I said with a quiet chuckle.

"Nah, it was all of us" Rick replied humbly.

"Nah, it was you first" Daryl told him sternly. "So you gonna help us figure this out?"

Rick's face was full of seriousness, now. He looked like he was asking for help. "I screwed up too many times"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly couldn't give two shits how many times you've screwed up. You're good, Rick. The proof is all around you. You might think you've made mistakes but you bought us here and we ain't never been safer"

That made rick fall quiet, he wasn't sure what to say back. A cry for Rick made us jolt upright. Behind Rick, Maggie was screaming for us to come over where the walkers were pushing themselves up against the fence. It had been a problem for a while now but we thought we had it under control, obviously we were wrong. We threw our spades to the side and the three of us sprinted over. Maggie was already thrusting a metal pole through the nearest walker's heads but it wasn't enough. The fence was bending under the weight of the mass of walkers pushing against it. "The noise drew 'em out and now this parts startin' to give" I could barely hear Maggie over the walker's moans, and then she ran over to where the fence was giving out. I grabbed on of the tools that hung on the other side of the fence and joined her. If a few more walkers joined, these walkers would be on top of us, so we had to deflate this situation as quick as possible. Every walker I could reach, I pierced their heads with the stake I held. It still wasn't enough though, they grew more aggressive at the sight of us and the more aggressive they got, the harder they pushed. A few others had joined us now, all of us were lunging our weapons through the gate hoping to put a dent in this herd.

I don't know how long we were at it, I couldn't think over the horrible noises these things made but after a while, I heard Sasha call out "Are you seeing this?"

She grabbed all of our attention, not all of us stopped though. On the floor near her feet lay three bloodied up rats, parts of the body was missing, they'd been eaten. "Someone's feeding these things?" She asked in disgust.

We shouldn't have gotten distracted, because right above my head, the fence was dropping. It was so low, a walker had nearly climbed it's way to the top, using other walkers as steps. We all crowded to this part of the fence and started frantically killing them, hoping it might do some good. But there was no use, the middle part of the fence looked like it was ready to tear open, so we gave up on killing them and desperately started pushing back onto the fence. "It's gonna give" Glenn screamed. A walker pushed itself into the fence so hard that it's face split into four and dropped near my shoe. The fence posts began shaking fiercely and there was no hope anymore. Daryl told us all to get back so we let go of the fence and stood there and watched the walkers.

"The fence keeps bending like that, those walkers are coming over it" Sasha exclaimed.

"Or through it, the damn thing looks like its gonna pop" I called out over the sound.

I saw Rick thinking for a while before looking to Daryl. "Daryl, get the truck. I know what to do"

I stayed on the fence with Sasha and Glenn as Rick and Daryl loaded the pigs onto the truck. I hated this idea, but we didn't exactly have a choice. If those walkers got over the fence, there's a possibility that we would all die. Daryl and Rick drove outside the fence and Maggie shut it behind them. I watched them in the corner of my eyes and I kept on lunging my stake through walker heads. They stopped the truck not too far away and the hoard thinned out slightly as some of them made their way towards the others. The screams of the pig the Rick picked up was enough to tip me over the edge. I could barely hear it in the distance and over the moans but in my mind it was loud enough to make my ears bleed. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to block it out but it was deafening. The walkers that crowded around one place as Daryl and Rick drove off a little told me that he must've released the pig. I felt a soft nudge on my arm and Sasha told me to get the logs ready. Since there were only a few more walkers on the fence, Sasha and I grabbed a log each and pinned it in between the fence and the floor. After a few more logs, all of the walkers had gone over to eat the three pigs Rick had gave them. I felt like I had to throw up, but I knew Rick had just saved our lives. The fence was still hanging over slightly but with the logs, it wouldn't be moving much. But it wouldn't hold forever, we'd have to face this again, and soon.


	29. Chapter 29

Sorry about the wait guys, my laptop broke. I'm hoping to give you guys more frequent updates because I'm looking forward to writing the next few chapters. Be excited :)

* * *

Digging. Digging more graves. It felt like that's all I did lately. I spent so much time under the sun that I had a sun burn on the back of my neck, raw and angry. To top it all off, I had the headache of all headaches that just wouldn't go away. I miss the days where I could just pop a couple of aspirin and go about my day, now all you can do is hope it will die down.

There were a few of us digging. No one spoke to one another. They probably felt just as heavy as I did, I almost wanted to dig my own grave. I'm already living in hell.

Cas was among us, digging silently by herself. I don't think I've ever seen her volunteer to do something that didn't benefit her in one way or another, I think the others were just as surprised as I was. In turns, we all glanced her way now and then but she never once glanced in our direction. It was a wonder that she could even see what she was doing with her hair dangling over her eyes. Maybe she needed to keep herself busy like the rest of us. Maybe something broke through Cas's brick wall and punctured something inside that made her feel just as helpless as I did. Or maybe she just felt like it. Cas was unpredictable.

A tickle suddenly caught in my throat and I coughed it out as I leaned on my spade. It didn't take long to catch my breath and get back to work but the moment I realized Cas's cold eyes were burning into me I stopped in my tracks.

It was just a tickle.

As I began a slow walk back up the yard towards the prison, I realised I was drenched head to toe in sweat. I didn't even feel the heat as much as I usually do, so it was weird. A grey t-shirt was obviously not the best choice today. I wiped my brow and thought about how nice a shower sounded.

As I let the water consume me, I didn't even bother to wash myself properly. I gripped tightly as the metal pole that kept up the shower curtains, scared I'd collapse without support. I closed my eyes hard, the pounding in my head overwhelming me.

I had it.

I was scared shitless.

Once I realised this, I forced my eyes open and turned off the shower. As I pulled my mud ridden pants, the tickle came back, angry and violent. I heaved and choked into my hands but the cough still wouldn't ease up. Eventually I felt a cold pair of hands on my shoulders, I didn't hear anyone enter but whoever it was didn't let go of me until the coughing finally stopped.

I kept my head in my hands, feeling like my head was going to explode.

"You've got it" Cas told me.

"You're tellin' me like I don't already know" I spat back at her, the pounding in my temples making me even more irritated. "Sorry" I whispered, my voice cracking a little after the strain. I took my head out of my hands to find blood splattered on them and I sighed.

"You need to see Dr. S" Her hands were still on my shoulders, she was waiting for me to get up but that was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

"I know, Cas" I breathed out. I stood up and the room spun. I don't know what I grabbed but whatever it was, I grabbed it hard.

Cas breathed a rigid breath and I quickly pulled back my grip from her bicep."Sorry" I breathed out again.

She shook her head. "C'mon" She grabbed my wrist and half dragged me into the hallway.

I don't think I've ever walked so slow in my life. My bare feet shuffled across the hard floor like I was an old man fighting death. That's how I felt anyway.

Cold water dripped from my wet hair and rolled down onto my bare chest, it felt like against my burning hot skin though and I already wanted to go back into the shower.

"Uh, Cas?" I croaked. She didn't look at me but she must've been listening, I don't think even she was that ignorant. "I'm halfway to bein' naked"

Her face didn't faulter and I thought maybe she was actually that ignorant. But her grip on my wrist tightened slightly and she revealed the t shirt and shoes she held in her other hand. I nodded a thanks, afraid to talk just in case it caused my throat to strain.

Regardless, I had to speak to her again because it's bothering me now and I already feel like I'm dying anyway. "Why are you-" A gurgled cough spluttered out of my throat and I could taste the blood but I swallowed it back down, refusing another fit. "Why are you bein' so nice?" I finally finished.

Her hair still covered most of her face but I think she was frowning. She loosened her grip on my wrist so much that if I pulled at all, I would've been free. "I'm not" Her jaw was locked.

I didn't want to push her, this was the most civil she'd been to me ever since she got here and I wasn't about to ruin that with my big mouth. "Okay" I nodded and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

Cas pushed the door open with her shoulder and dragged me inside. By this point, the pounding in my skull had consumed me and I was gripping on everything within arm length just so I could stand up right.

When Cas tried to pull me further inside, I gripped onto the closest thing and stood still. Her head snapped back in a jerky motion and I though she might hit me but I'm too tired to care. I let my head loll to the side and rest on the bicep that was keeping me from falling to the ground. "You need to go" I told her, trying to free myself from her grip but failing. I was weak.

She scoffed and looked at me through her fringe. "Just get the fuck in a cell"

I opened my mouth in protest but all that came out was a gagged cough. Dr. S came from around a corner a moment later, holding himself up by the wall next to him. "This one is free" He told us, pointing to the cell on his left. Cas grabbed my arm and draped it over her shoulders and walked me over. Considering she was about a foot smaller than me, she was surprisingly strong. She threw me on the bed and I noticed a small blood stain near the pillow. This cell had been usedalready and it hadn't ended well. I pull my knees up to my chest and sit there for a while. Cas sat down on the chair beside the bed, the feet resting on the edge of the bed and she had her arms folded across her chest. We sat in silence, the sound of coughing fits echoed throughout the cell block and sometimes I couldn't hear them over the sound of my own coughing fits. By now, blood crisped on my hands and up my forearms. There wasn't any point in cleaning it off.

I wasn't sure how long I had been here for but when Glenn turned up and sat next to me I thought it must've been a while. His face was pale and his eyes red, blood stained his lips and he looked as tired as I felt. My heart dropped a little at the sight of him, he literally looked like death. But I must look the same.

"I was hoping I wouldn't find you here after you didn't show up to the council meeting" His voice sounded groggy as he looked me over with glazed eyes, handing me a bottle of water.

I took it from him with a shaky hand. I didn't want to look as weak as I did in front of Glenn but I couldn't help it. We were in the same boat anyway. "I wouldn't have even made it out the shower room if it wasn't for Cas" I nodded towards a now obviously asleep Cas.

Glenn's face screwed up in confusion as he watched Cas's chest slowly rise and fall. "Why is she still here?" He asked quietly, probably hoping to not wake her up.

"I have no idea" I shook my head and took a sip of water. "Does Maggie know you're..." I trailed off, not wanting to tell him he's probably going to die just like the rest of us.

He nodded sadly. "Yeah, she knows"

"Does Beth know?" I couldn't stop the question before it came to my head.

He shook his head no. "She's in quarantine with Judith. No ones allowed to see her"

I nodded my head slowly, not really knowing how to reply. It's better she didn't know, she would only worry.

The sound of banging replaced the echoed coughs and Glenn and I sat up on the bed. We both knew what that sound meant and I dragged myself to my feet. The room spun a little, but I regained balance. Glenn followed me as I exited the cell,following the sound.

The walker went down with a thud and I wiped the blood off my knife before putting it back in the holster I thankfully never took off. Blood had streamed out every possible hole of the walker's face. Suffocation is what is killing people, then. "How many time are we gonna have to do this?" I asked Glenn lazily as we both looked down at the walker still locked behind it's cell.

"You shouldn't be doin' anythin', either of you" Hershel's voice ran out and he shut the door behind him. He wore a scarf around his nose and mouth and held a box of what I presumed to be supplies. "Both of you back to your cells, I'll see to you soon" He told us. Glenn went upstairs but I didn't move.

"Is this gonna happen to us?" I asked him, my voice no more than a whisper.

"I won't let it, son"

I nodded and pushed myself away from the cell, making my way towards my own. Cas was awake and watching me. I practically fell on my bed and propped myself up by the wall. "People are dying" I told her.

She didn't say anything back to me. Her icy blue eyes bore holes into me, I couldn't tell what she wanted. Before I could ask, I began coughing again and blood poured out of my mouth and onto my still bare chest. I coughed and coughed and heaved but nothing would relieve me from the suffocating feeling that was now burning inside my chest. Cas jumped from her feet and was at my side, gently touching my back. She must have know that wouldn't help but there's nothing she could do anyway. After a couple of minutes, the coughing died down but my whole body was trembling. Cas offered me water but I refused, terrified it would bring on another coughing fit. Hershel came in a second later with a small bowl in his hands, his face scarf was now in his pocket. He sat on the chair that Cas wasn't occupying anymore and held the bowl out for me. "Drink this"

I eyed it up curiously. "What is it?" My voice was unrecognisable, but I was surprised I could talk at all, my throat felt like it was on fire.

"Don't ask questions, just drink" He pushed it further towards me and I took it from him. My trembling hands could barely hold it and before I dropped it, Cas took it from me with a small annoyed huff and held it up against my lips. I couldn't taste anything, but I felt the lukewarm liquid slightly sooth the burning in my throat. Cas forced me to down the whole thing before she gave Hershel the bowl back and I lolled my head backwards, letting rest on the wall behind me as I quietly shook.

"May I ask what you're doin' here, young lady?" I heard Hershel ask.

"No you may not" Cas replies sarcastically. She was still looking at me as she spoke, I could feel it.

"Trust me, you do not want to be sick right now" Hershel warned her.

I felt her shift next to me and then she got up. She mumbled something that sounded a lot like "I don't give a fuck" before she left the cell.

Hershel pulled his seat closer to me, but I still didn't have the energy to lift my head. "What a lovely you lady" He commented sarcastically.

I don't think I've ever heard Hershel be sarcastic before but I was too annoyed to call him out on it. "She's not that bad" My head rolled to the side slightly so I could see Hershel. "She's fucked up like the best of us, she just deals with it differently" I defended her.

Hershel nodded and he thankfully dropped it. "Keep this on your forehead" He set a wet cloth next to me and got up and moved onto his next patient. I threw my head backwards once again but with a little more force this time, causing a dull thud. I regretted it when it sent a sharp wave of pain through my skull. Cas came skulking in just in time to see me wince. Her face didn't seem to change but she sat next to me again, grabbing the wet cloth from beside me. She gently rested it on my forehead and I couldn't help but let a small whimper escape my lips. It wasn't from pain, it was because the cloth was freezing cold and it just felt so good.

"Do you want a blanket?" There was so much care in her voice, it didn't sound a thing like her. I had to open my eyes just to check it was.

My eyes met her icy cold ones and I felt my lip tremble. Her hair was pushed from her eyes and I almost forgot how beautiful she was. That wasn't what made my bones chill though. She looked like she didn't want to kill me for once. More than that, she looked worried about me. I must have looked like I was on the brink of death and I was scared. "Cas?" My voice was a gurgled whisper and she moved her face closer to mine so she could hear.

"Yeah?" She asked, just as quiet as me.

I clenched my teeth a couple of times, trying to blink away the pain. "Am I gonna be okay?"

Her eyes dropped down a little, glazing over. She nodded after a heartbeat, causing her hair to consume her face again. "You're gonna be fine" Her hard voice was back and I didn't hear anything after that as I found sleep.

When I woke up again it was to a coughing fit. Blood splattered onto the blanket that had carefully been placed over my legs during my sleep and it took everything in my just to breathe. I found the bowl of Hershel's secret recipe on the chair and I grabbed it desperately, pouring it down my throat to find some relief. I sighed after it worked and pushed the blanket off of me. My hair was saturated with sweat, I pushed my fingers through it to stop it from dripping down. I sat up, wondering where Cas is, feeling a little worried for some reason. Honestly, I was just surprised I hadn't died in my sleep. I heard commotion coming from outside my cell so I pulled my knife out of it's holster and stood up.

I thought walking was hard. Climbing stairs was even harder. It felt like a weight was trying to pull me towards the ground but I wasn't letting it.

I found Hershel, Sasha, Glenn, and Cas at the top of the stairs. They crowded around a man who lay on the floor, blood pooling from his mouth. Sasha squeezed on something that connected to a tube going down his throat. Oxygen. He was no longer able to breathe on his own and that scared me even more.

"You shouldn't be out of bed" Hershel didn't look up when I joined them.

"I feel like I'm gonna die if I lay there any longer" My voice was a deadpan mumble.

"Glenn, stay with Sasha. Swap whenever one of you feels light-headed" He stood up, still not looking at me. "You two, follow me"

Cas and I joined him, I wasn't even sure what we were doing but I was hoping it was something productive.

We walked downstairs, which was a lot easier than walking up them, and walked down all the cells. People were lying down, sleeping, crying, coughing. There was a child playing cards with an elderly woman. I ran a hand through my hair again nervously, trying to pretend like that kid isn't going to die soon.

Hershel stopped at the next cell where an elderly man lay, eyes open and unseeing, staring at the ceiling. It was Mr. Jacobson. Clotted blood ran down the side of his cheeks. He had been dead for a while. I twisted the knife in my hand uncomfortably but Cas snatched it off me. "It's my turn" She snarled.

Hershel grabbed her wrist before she could do it. "Not here" He whispered angrily. She gave him a thunderstorm of a look and ripped her arm away from him as if his touch physically hurt her.

Hershel disappeared for a second and came wheeling back a stretcher. "Help me get him on this"

He wheeled it inside and I wrapped my arms under his, pulling him onto the stretcher as Hershel hauled his legs. After draping a sheet over him, Hershel and I wheeled him out with Cas on our toes.

"What are you doing?" A small voice called out and we all turned around to find Lizzie watching us.

"You two carry on" I whispered and they did as I said as I knelt before her.

"We're takin' Mr. Jacobson somewhere quieter" I told her.

"You're killing him, aren't you?" By the way her face scrunched up, she knew the answer to the question. She began to cry. "You can't kill him!"

"Shh" I rest my hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her but she covered her face with her hands and ran back into her cell.

Later that night, or day, I couldn't really tell what time it was, I met Maggie at the glass window where we communicated with the others without risking spreading the illness. As soon as she caught sight of me her face dropped. "Where's Glenn?" She asked me. Her voice was muffled by the glass but I could still tell that she was on the verge of tears.

"Asleep. We've been busy helpin' your dad" I sat myself down a little too heavily, too weak to stand myself up longer than necessary.

"I can help if you need help" Her gaze was worrying.

"No, it's fine, we've got Cas in here"

She nodded, but the worried look still plastered her face.

"I know I look amazing right now, but there's no need to stare"

Maggie laughed at that, and the tension eased up slightly. "How are you feelin'?"

"It feels like my head will explode any second now" She lost her smile at that. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine" I reassured her as well as myself. She nodded and sighed. "How's Beth?" I couldn't restrain myself from asking any longer.

Her laughed was small and sweet. "She's okay" She was waiting for this question. "Worried about you"

I sighed, I was worried about her worrying. But the truth is, I'm worried too. "Tell her not to. Tell her I'll be out of here in no time. Tell her-" I cut myself off, feeling a tightness in my throat that had nothing to do with being sick. "Tell her I love her"

She stared at me for a second, blinking a couple of times before a small smile crept up onto her face. "You can tell her yourself when you get better"

I laughed a little that turned into a cough. Thankfully it wasn't one of my messy kinds and I was able to play it cool like I don't feel like I could cough up my insides any minute.

"Adam?" Her voice was small and I looked back up to her to find her eyes welled up. "Look out for him"

I nodded, understanding who she was talking about. "Always do" She smiled before turning around and walking away, leaving me with my swollen heart.

Cas and I were asleep in my cell when shit hit the fan. I heard Lizzie scream for Hershel and then a familiar groan followed and Cas and I were on our feet before we even thought about it. I stood up way too fast, gripping onto the chair for support but Cas had already left me, mumbling curse words under her breath as she left. I grabbed my knife and eventually followed, feeling like a paper bag could floor me. Outside, a walker had Hershel pinned to the floor but Cas was already stomping on it's face. Not the most ideal way to kill a walker in front of a room full of dying people but it did the trick.

All of a sudden, a gunshot rang through the cell block and I turned to see a man being eaten by who I think was his son. He screamed in agony as I tore the walker off him, quickly digging my knife in it's skull. The man was already dead now so I picked up his gun and shot a walker near Cas

"I had it!" She screamed at me and I shook my head. She is so stubborn.

Hershel ran up the stairs when Lizzie began screaming and I followed. By the time my weak body made it up the stairs, Hershel had dealt with the walker.

Glenn was choking on blood at the top of the stairs and I dropped to my knees in front of him. Blood poured from his mouth and I felt helpless. He was barely breathing.

Breathing.

I knew what he needed, I just needed to find it.

My legs nearly gave out when I stood up but I carried on. I had to carry on. I made my way to where Hershel and Lizzie were before and spotted the walker that still had the intubator wrapped around it's face. I ducked under the railing and immediately, the walker grabbed me. I was too weak to be wrestling with a walker and I could already feel my game slipping. Maggie stood beneath us, aiming her gun at the walker and I panicked. "Don't, you could hit the bag, we need it for Glenn" I yelled down to her. Of course, she didn't listen. A gunshot rang in my ears and suddenly there was no more fight so I grabbed the intubator from the walkers face and made my way to Glenn as quick as I could.

Maggie and Hershel were already there, getting out as much blood from his airway as possible. Maggie sobbed 'dad' every now and then as she cradled Glenn's now blue face. I gave Hershel the intubator and he got to work, forcing it down Glenn's throat. The moment Hershel pushed some air into his lungs, Glenn finally stopped struggling. His face turned back to the pale color it was before his fit and he relaxed against Maggie. "You're gonna be okay" Maggie told him in the softest voice. I breathed a breath of relief before thinking about the mess that was downstairs. Cas must be going to town.

Before I got up, I felt a gentle touch on my knee. I looked down to find Maggie looking up at me, her eyes full of gratitude. "Thank you"

I nodded, because I didn't know what else to do and left her, Hershel and Glenn to it.

I went downstairs to find Cas standing in my middle of the cell block, covered in blood and surrounded by bodies. "Told you I had it" She smirked at me.

Before I could laugh at her, a wave of exhaustion hit me like a tsunami and I gripped onto the railing as hard as I could. Cas's smirk dropped and she ran to me side. "I need to-" was the last thing I could say before my legs gave out from under me and everything went black.

When I woke next, the first thing I noticed was that I didn't feel as heavy anymore. The second thing I noticed were icy blue eyes on mine.

"How are you feeling?" The words came out of Cas's mouth way too fast and the way she sat back in the chair with a loud thud, I think she noticed. She must have been waiting for me to wake up for a while

"How long was I out?" My voice was croaky but not as bad as it was.

"A few hours. Daryl and the others came back with medicine just after you passed out" She informed me.

"I feel like I could run a marathon" I told her sarcastically.

She let out a breathy laughed and visibly relaxed a little. "That was intense as fuck"

"You could say that again" I sat up and rubbed my head, the dull pounding nowhere near as bad as it was. Silence fell over us and I remembered she still hasn't given me answers. "Y'know, you still haven't told me why you stayed"

She let out a loud sigh, she wanted me to know that was annoying her. "Why can't you drop it?" Her tone was harsh but it didn't phase me.

"Because you've wanted to kill me ever since we met. Just wanna know the reason for the sudden change of heart" I shrugged.

She worked her jaw until she opened he mouth to speak. Once she did speak though, it came out in a hushed whisper. "Zach would've wanted me to" The silence that was now up in the air felt like a dead weight and I had no idea what to say to her. Thankfully, she carried on. "I heard you tried to save him when he went down. That the others had to drag you out" She wasn't looking at me anymore, she was looking down at her fumbling hands in her hands, just like Beth does when she's nervous. My stomach flipped at the thought of her but now wasn't the time. "He thought you were cool, y'know. He was just scared because of Beth. He knew you had the hots for her so he kept his distance"

I frowned, because that's exactly what I wanted to happen at the time. I was torn between hating him and liking him. On one hand, he was keeping Beth happy. On the other hand, he was keeping Beth happy. "I was jealous of him" I confessed.

She nodded slowly. "I think he knew that" The silence was no longer uncomfortable and I sighed a breath of relief into it. All of a sudden she stood up and held a hand out to me. "C'mon, let's go and see her" She rolled her eyes at my dumb smile as I let her help me up from the bed.

I couldn't wait to see Beth.


	30. Chapter 30

**In reply to Mikle Silver's question, I'm not sure about changing major cannon events. There will defiantly be at least one or two but not a lot. I don't want to stray too far from cannon but there's a lot of twists after the Governor attacks. If you guys have any suggestions, don't be afraid to PM me, I don't want to disappoint you.**

**On another note, it's been a year since I started writing this fic. I'd like to thank the people who stuck with me through it, especially ravens18, I almost gave up on this but you encouraged me to keep going so thank you.**

**This is mainly a filler for before the Governor attacks. Let me know what you guys think.**

* * *

The walk back to the cell block was a slow one. I gripped on Cas's shoulder as we walked, trying to keep balance. If she minded, she didn't say anything.

My legs felt like jelly once we entered the cell block and I couldn't tell if it was because of how weak I am or because of how close Beth is.

Carl sat on the stairs talking with his dad when we walked through. They both nodded, acknowledging my presence, before turning back to each other. Beth wasn't here, I couldn't help being disappointed.

Cas sat me down and took a seat beside me. "You gonna be okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah" My voice cracked after the strain my throat went through.

She nodded slowly. "Take a shower, you look disgusting" And then she got up and left without looking back, leaving me here laughing to myself.

She was right though. Blood was smeared all up my arms and my now covered chest. I didn't want to know what my face looked like. All I knew is that I wanted to see Beth and sleep forever, unfortunately I can't do both simultaneously.

As if on cue, Beth finally turned up at my cell. I got up from my bed, wincing slightly at the ache in my legs but I shook it off once I met Beth's eyes. She didn't move from the doorway, wide-eyed and mouth ajar as if she couldn't believe I was standing before her. As if she was looking at a ghost. I had been through hell and it probably showed on my face.

"Hey" My voice was smaller than I wanted but I didn't know how Beth was going to play this out and that terrified me.

She didn't say anything, she didn't move. I heard her suck in a small breath before she closed her mouth, her eyes trailing down my body. She was seeing the blood and I immediately regret not showering before coming here.

I was about to say something else when she finally moved. I flinched at her haste, but her body crashed into mine with the urgency that's only reserved for someone you love. That familiar swell inside my chest crept up on me as she wrapped her arms around my neck, not bothering with the grace I'm used to her carrying. I folded my arms around her waist, feeling the instant comfort she always gave me. Her arms wrapped tighter and so did mine and I wondered if this is how it felt to have someone love you. I wondered if she ever acted this way with Jimmy. I wondered if it was possible to love someone a little too much. My feelings for Beth felt like they were slowly crushing the two of us, but I've never felt so alive. Being away from her hurt more than anything ever could. I closed my eyes hard and buried my face into her hair, flinching away from the very thought of being apart. Her hands bawled up in fists on my t-shirt and she was slightly shaking. I sighed into her, she was worried I remembered. The sight of me probably hasn't made her feel any better. Slowly and gently, I picked her up by her waist and she was quick to wrap her legs around my hips. I felt too weak to stand any longer, to I took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed with Beth straddling my lap. Her face was still buried in my neck but her arms had relaxed a little. I traced my finger down her spine, waiting for her to say something. I was comfortable in the peaceful silence we had created, but I missed her soft voice. She moved her face so her forehead was resting on my neck, her breath hot on my chest. As if she read my mind, she finally spoke. "Hi" Her voice was a mere mumble, softer than usual. I couldn't help but laugh. I wrapped my arms around her once again and trailed kisses across her shoulder. She sighed into me and rubbed her nose on my neck. "I thought..." She trailed off and I heard her swallow hard.

"It's okay. I'm okay" I reassured her, my voice mumbled by the kisses I still trailed across her shoulder. She didn't sound entirely convince by the quiet sniffle I got in response.

I pulled my head back to look at her face but she kept her face buried in my neck. Gently, I took her face in my hands but she kept her eyes trained on my chest. I now realise she had been crying. I felt my heart shatter as I wiped away her tears with my thumbs. "Look at me" Her bright blue eyes landed on mine after lingering on my lips for too long. "I'm fine" She blinked at me, her eyes glazed over slightly. I kissed her tear-stained cheek hoping to fix her hurt but she only sighed. When I pulled back, she had this intensity in her eyes that scared me and I wasn't quite sure what to do or say.

Luckily, she did. She closed the small space between us and desperately pushed her lips against mine hard. She took me by surprise and before I even knew what was happening her tongue was exploring my mouth. This was all I wanted and more but I had to pull her away from me as soon as I came to my senses. She frowned down at me and her fingers played at the collar of my t-shirt. "Beth" Her lips were grazing mine and I forgot how to breathe, let alone speak. "I could still be sick"

Her eyes were still on my lips, she wasn't thinking straight by this point. "I don't care" it was barely loud enough for me to hear, but every syllable vibrated on my lips and sent shivers down my spine and caused an ache in the pit of my stomach.

Every ounce of self-control that I had left withered away as I crashed my lips into Beth's with the same kind of urgency. She didn't waste any time in pulling me closer, her hands rough as they ran through my hair. I let my hands explore her body, feeling the arch of her back as she leaned into me hard. I captured her bottom lip between my own before letting our mouths fall into place together. Her fingers trailed down from my hair, leaving a burning trail down my neck before resting on my chest. My whole body throbbed underneath her and I wanted nothing more than to kiss every inch of her. I wanted to throw her onto the bed, to make her feel loved, to devour her very being, but my body wouldn't let me. I was struggling to even sit up by this point. Beth must have noticed my shift in moods because her lips left mine. "Adam?" Her nose still nudged mine, her lips parted and begging.

I sighed, I've never been so frustrated with my body before. "I'm sorry" I buried my face in the crook of her neck and breathed hard through my nose, trying to burn the smell of her into my mind as if she would leave me any second. I never wanted to forget her.

Her hand soothed circles at the back of my neck, just above my spine. Her eyes were gentle and less hungry and she kissed my cheek. "It's okay"

I groaned into her neck and she giggled. "I need to shower"

"You do, you're gross" I feigned offence and she giggled again, kissing the corner of my mouth.

To my regret, she crawled off my lap and stood in front of me, holding out a hand. I took it and she pulled me to my feet with a struggle. My head spun and I gripped tightly to my bunk to keep me on my feet. Beth's arms gripped at my hips with caution. "I'm okay" I reassured her.

A jagged breath escaped her lips. "Get back on the bed" She told me with so much force that I looked down at her in shock. She nodded her head towards the bed so I did as I was told. She had her doctor head on and I wasn't one to mess with doctor Beth. She left the cell when my head hit the pillow, looking like she was on a mission. I was thankful though, I don't know how I would've stood up for so long in the shower.

When Beth finally came back holding a bucket of water and a dish rag, I was fighting sleep. My body felt like it had molded into my thin mattress and I never wanted to move. Beth sat on the bed next to me and set the bucket next to her feet, looking at me expectedly. "Take your top off" She told me as she put the dish rag in the bucket to soak.

"Who said chivalry is dead?" I croaked as I sat myself up. I winced at the raw pull of muscles in my abdomen.

Beth took that as a hint that I needed help pulling my tee off so she scooted closer and lifted it over my head, throwing it to the foot of my bed. Her eyes trailed down my body and took in the mess. I heard a small hitch in her breath but she cleared her throat, pretending she wasn't affected by the sight. I scooted my ass backwards a little so I could lean my back against the wall behind me.

The instant Beth brought the rag to my cheek, I jolted. "Oh my god, it's cold" I told her as I inched away from her hand.

She shook her head but the amusement was plain on her face. "You're a baby" She brought the rag to my face again and I let her this time.

"Doctor Beth isn't very nice" She let herself smile now, but kept her concentration on cleaning my face.

"That's 'cause you're the worst patient ever"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about, I'm the best patient" I grinned at her, cocking my head slightly.

She grabbed my cheeks and moved my head back in place, rolling her eyes. Her smile didn't leave her face and she put her focus on cleaning my chest.

I didn't take my eyes off her as she carried on cleaning. If she took notice of my staring, she didn't say anything. I looked at her eyes as they trailed down my chest to my stomach, careful and curious. I looked at her ears as they burned red, from the heat of being so close to me or maybe something else, I didn't know. I looked at her lips that fell slightly parted with her tongue rested on her teeth in concentration. I looked at the curl in her hair that had fallen in front of her eyes that she didn't even notice. I lifted my arm and brushed it behind her ear and I felt her hands falter slightly when I grazed her cheek gently with my thumb. She leaned into my hand for a second before remembering what she was doing and went onto cleaning my arm, pretending I wasn't distracting her. I smirked at the blush that rose in her cheeks and let my hand drop from her face.

She began humming softly to herself and I found myself staring at where her shirt had risen as she leaned over me, revealing the small dimples in her lower back. I was about to reach over to brush my fingers over her skin when she hurriedly grabbed my other hand, the tips of her ears burning red as she scrubbed harder than usual. I was craving her soft touches so much that I couldn't contain myself, so as she cleaned my palm, I closed it over her warm hand. She looked up at me and her frustrated expression grew softer. "Adam?" Her voice was small and confused and I loved everything about her.

"Go on a date with me" It wasn't a question, but it wasn't a demand either. I wanted to give her the world, but the world has come to an end so my love will have to do.

She stifled out a laugh. "What?" She had dropped the whole doctor act now, dazed and confused.

I held her hand tighter and pulled it to my face, planting gentle kisses on her knuckles. "Go on a date with me" I repeated against her knuckles.

She smiled shyly, retracting her hand and resting it next to my head so she could lean down to kiss me. "Okay" She answered against my lips.

I could feel my smile reach my eyes and all of a sudden I was excited to recover.

–

When I woke up feeling like I could actually walk this morning, I asked Beth to meet me in the guard tower in an hour. She seemed excited but now that I had time to think about it, I had no idea what to surprise her with so I'm panicking. There wasn't much to do after the apocalypse.

As I looked for help, I couldn't find it. Carol was one of the only people I trusted with this kind of stuff and I couldn't find her anywhere. I wasn't too worried, just curious because she was usually making food by this point.

Finding Daryl sitting on the steps in the cell block, I was quick to stand in front of him demanding his attention. Turning his attention away from his crossbow, he looked up at me, disinterest plain on his face. "Have you seem Carol?" It came out quicker than I'd liked.

His face changed now. Changed to something I'd seen only very rarely. His eyes softened and dropped to the floor. "She ain't here no more"

"What?" He was talking shit now and I had no time for it. "Where is she?"

"Gone" He practically growled at me and I realised he was serious. "Rick kicked her out" He told me quietly. "She killed Karen and David"

I opened my mouth to speak, shout, scream, but nothing came out. I was bewildered, I didn't want to believe it. I closed my mouth hard and clenched my fists to stop the trembling that my anger had caused. I turned around and half walked half jogged to Rick's cell. Daryl followed me, saying something quietly as he tried to hold me back but I was stronger than he was. I saw red when he turned around to face us, face screwed up in confusion. "Where is she?" I asked him, low and intimidating.

The weight of the realisation struck his face and I've never seen him look so guilty. He rested his hand on his hips to maintain authority before speaking. "I couldn't bring her back"

"It's Carol, Rick!" I yelled at him. This whole situation hurt me and I just wanted her back. "I don't care what she did, it's Carol" I growled.

"She murdered two people, Adam. I couldn't have her here" He was getting mad, now.

"How many lives has she saved, though?" My voice broke and I clenched my jaw. "I've killed people. You've killed people. In the end, it don't matter"

Rick only sighed, dropping his gaze to the floor. I left his cell and walked up the stairs. I couldn't do this an hour before I had to meet Beth, I still needed help.

I found Maggie sitting beside a sleeping Glenn, watching his chest rise and fall with a small smile playing on her lips. She looked up when I got to the top of the stairs, getting up after giving Glenn a last look over.

"Hey" She smiled as she made her way over to me, talking softly.

"How is he?" I looked over her shoulder as I leaned against the railing.

She followed my gaze, looking over her shoulder. "He's okay, just needs rest. You're lookin' better" She looked back over at me with a smirk on her face.

I couldn't get rid of the line that my mouth had formed, not even to make Maggie think I was okay. She knew something was wrong right away and took a step closer.

"You know about Carol" It wasn't a question. She knew I wouldn't be too happy about it.

I just nodded, failing to find words to express my feelings. I didn't want to see red again. She looked down at her feet sadly and I needed to change topic. "And I have a date with Beth in an hour, that's why I'm here"

Her eyes shot up at that, surprise in her eyes and a playful smile on her lips. "Are you serious?"

I couldn't help but smile this time. "Yeah, I'm serious. And I need your help. I wanna surprise her with somethin' but I have no idea what to do" I sighed an exasperated breath and rubbed my face.

"You're tryin' to impress her" I dug my hands in my pockets and shrugged, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "You do know you already got her to fall in love with you, right? She'll be happy with the alone time"

"I guess, but it's not much of a date"

"There ain't a lot of options" She smiled sadly at me. "It'll be fine"

I nodded. "Thanks" I turned around and made my way down the stairs.

"Break her heart and I'll break your face" Maggie called out behind me and I left the cell block with a smile on my face.

Beth was waiting in the guard tower, her feet dangling off the edge as she leant on the railing, scribbling away in her journal. She didn't hear as I closed the hatch behind me, too engrossed in what she was writing. I took careful steps before stopping directly behind her and sat down and swung both of my legs either side of her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She didn't jump or squeal, she must have expected this would be what I'd do. "Hey" She looked over her shoulder so she could see me.

"Hey" I rested my chin on her shoulder and gave her a winning smile, causing her to laugh before she turned back to her journal. "You writin' about me again?" I asked her cockily, brushing my nose softly over her exposed neck.

She laughed through her nose but kept her eyes on her writing. "Writin' about how much of a dork you are"

I smiled against the pulse in her neck. "As I recall, you're the one that turned me into this dork"

She turned her head again to look at me, a teasing smile playing on her lips. "Hmm?" She wanted me to elaborate, oh god.

"You turned my world upside down" I began fiddling with her hands in mine, just like she does when she gets nervous. "I would've been someone totally different if I hadn't met you. You gave me purpose" I watched her watch my fumbling hands, her face impassive. "I love you. And I'll always love you, even when I can't" She looked at me after that, eyes wide and vulnerable.

She kissed me slowly, fingers running small circles on my wrist. I kissed her back with no urgency. It was sweet and passionate and everything I wanted. I felt a tear fall down and get trapped between our cheeks as we shared each other's feelings. It was the most intimate thing I'd ever done, letting myself be so vulnerable with another person. I was wide open and she was devouring ever fibre of my being.

Beth's lips left mine and she rested our foreheads together. She pulled her hand up to my face and her thumb brush against my bottom lip. She was taking the whole of me in and I was letting her. I couldn't tell if she was making my whole world fall apart or bringing it all together. I sighed into her and kissed the palm of her hand, tightening my grip on her.

We were interrupted, we were always interrupted. In the corner of my eye, I saw something emerging from the tree lines. A big something. Pulling my attention away from the only thing I wanted to have my attention, I watched as a tank pulled up to the fence surrounded my the Governor's many trucks. Fuck.


	31. Chapter 31

"Is that..." Beth's question trailed off and I felt her body tense up against mine.

I scooted backwards and got to my feet, grabbing Beth's hand and pulling her up with me. I refused to let myself panic. I had to make sure Beth wouldn't be harmed, I need to get her to safety.

"We need to warn Rick" I told Beth and she squeezed my hand tightly. I grabbed the sniper that was sitting by the hatch and we made our way down. Something so bad was going to happen, I could feel it. This was the cold before the storm and the storm was going to rapidly wipe away anything in its path.

I stopped Beth from opening the door, my grip tightening on the sniper. I could see the convoy from the window in the door. There were people fussing over the tank and it clicked what they were preparing to do.

"Wait here" I told Beth in a hushed voice even though they weren't close enough to hear me.

"Hell no" She grabbed my elbow to stop me from opening the door.

"Beth, they might shoot us as soon as we step through that door"

"Then we better move quickly" She told me and then she was running out before I had time to process anything.

It didn't take me long to catch up to her, and neither of us had been shot yet. We stopped to open the yard gate and I quickly glanced behind me. I could see the Governor standing there watching us. He wanted me to get Rick.

When we made it to the cell block, Rick was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Rick?" I asked Maggie as I tried to catch my breath.

Her face dropped when she saw us, she knew something was wrong. "I don't know, he went somewhere with Daryl. What's goin' on?"

"The Governor's here with a fuckin' tank"

As if on cue, a loud crash shook the whole prison. The ceiling crumbled and small bits of debris came down. Panic hit me hard and I sprinted to my cell, grabbing every weapon I could find. I swung my hunting rifle over my back and filled my holsters. We wasted no more time and the three of us made our way outside.

Everyone was already there, including Rick, observing the Governor's convoy. We stood with them and saw the Governor standing on top of a truck, unarmed.

"Rick! Come down here. We need to talk" The Governor called out, his voice relaxed as if a war wasn't happening.

Rick was breathing heavy, worry was written all over his face. "It's not up the me" Rick yelled back to the Governor. "There's a council now. They run this place"

"Is Hershel on the council?" He asked and then he gave a signal to one of his goons. My heart rate quickened when I realised what was happening and I took a protective step closer to Beth. The goon pulled Hershel from one of the trucks, his hands bound behind his back. I heard the small gasp escape from Beth's lips and I grabbed her hand. "What about Michonne?" The Governor carried on. "Is she on the council, too?" The brought Michonne over to where they stood Hershel. They both looked unharmed, but that could change in any second.

"I don't make decisions anymore!" Rick shouted across the yard as they dropped Hershel and Michonne to their knees, side by side.

"You're making the decisions today, Rick" The Governor told him, a lot more calmly than Rick. "Come down here and let's have that talk"

Rick looked to Daryl who gave him a small nod in return. Then he turned around to where Carl was standing to give him a few quiet words of encouragement before opening the gate and making his way over to speak to the Governor, his hand hovering over his gun the whole time.

"We can't take 'em all on" Daryl said in a hushed voice as he observed the heavily armed convoy. "We'll go through the admin building, through the woods like we planned. We ain't got the numbers no more. When's the last time someone checked the stash on the bus?"

"Day before we hit the big spot" Sasha replied, matching his hushed tone. "We were running low on rations then, we're lower now"

"Yeah, we'll manage. Things go south, everyone heads for that bus. Let everyone know"

I sighed, shit was hitting the fan and our plan wasn't that great. I looked down at Beth and noticed her eyes hadn't left her dad. I squeezed her hand to get her attention. "He's gonna be okay" I whispered.

"You don't know that" She dead-panned.

I swung the sniper over my shoulder and used my free hand to cup her face, forcing her to finally make eye contact with me. "I do, because I'm gonna make sure of it. I promise"

Her eyes softened at that and she closed the space between us, gifting me with the sweetest kiss in existence. Just the thought that she doesn't mind kissing me right here in front of everyone we know, her sister standing a foot away, it makes me forget that we're prepping for a war. She could make me forget my own name if she wanted.

When she pulled back, her eyes went back to her dad. Daryl came over to hand Maggie and Beth a gun each and they took them happily.

As much as I didn't want to, I let go of Beth's hand and walked to the fence, resting the tip of the sniper on there and pressing my eye against the scope. I watched as Rick and the Governor exchanged words. Hershel was as calm as ever and Michonne was as pissed off as ever. I just wanted all of this to end now. I could end it. I could shoot the Governor right now and kill his goons.

"Don't do anythin' stupid" Daryl's voice was low and intimidating.

I kept my eye on the scope. "I'm thinkin' about it"

"Yeah, I can tell. Your trigger finger is getting' twitchy" He grumbled.

I took my hand off the trigger and turned my attention to him. "I could stop this, right now"

He shook his head. "Let the adults speak. Might be we don't need blood spilled"

"That's real fucking unlikely" A new voice chimed. We turned to find Cas standing near us, gun ready and blood thirsty. "You're an idiot if you think we're gonna be able to get off light here and live happily ever fucking after"

"I ain't an idiot for hopin'" Daryl seemed more shocked than angry.

"No, you're an idiot for not being realistic. They brought a fucking tank!" She pointed out.

"Yeah, well, let's hope they don't use it" He shook his head and walked away.

A gunshot rang out and I was looking down the scope faster than I could think. I was expecting to see Hershel and Michonne dead on the floor but the Governor shot a couple of walkers. relief flooded through me but I didn't drop the scope. My attention was on the Governor's movements now. I was ready.

Lucky I did, too. The Governor jumped off of the tank all of a sudden in an angry strut. He grabbed Michonne's sword from one of his goons and made his way over to Hershel, holding the sword up to his throat. I could hear Beth's cries to my left and I tried to not let it distract me too much as I kept the scope on the Governor's chest. I watched as Rick tried his best to talk out this situation. The Governor listened patiently as he spoke. I realised it hadn't worked when I saw the twitch in his shoulders. The twitch that would end Hershel's life. He began to pull the sword back into a swing and my heart stopped beating as I mindlessly pulled the trigger. The bullet met the Governor's arm and the sword went flying behind him and that's when it all started. Everything went really quiet while everyone processed what just happened and then it got really, really loud. A lot of guns were going off at the same time, people were shouting. The Governor held his arm as he fell back out of sight and I was trying to shoot anything behind the fences. I saw that Hershel and Michonne fell back out of sight, too.

Rick got shot in the leg and flew behind cover. That's when they decided to push forward. Most got in trucks when the tank started moving. It took down the fences and drove into the yard, people taking cover behind it as they shot at us. We tried to hold our own but there were too many of them. Everyone else fell back and I decided it was time to do the same, they were getting too close for a sniper.

Beth was still enthusiastically shooting beside Maggie, the gun looking too big in her delicate arms.

"We gotta move!" I shouted to them over the sound of gunfire.

"Run for the bus, I'll cover you" Maggie commanded, sounding determined.

"I got it, take her" I prepped up the sniper once more.

Maggie gave a slight nod but didn't put her gun down, only slowly moved backwards as her and Beth made their way for the bus.

I began shooting again, taking down a few guys whenever I had the slightest chance. The tank was moving slowly forward, the goons gaining the confidence to flood next to it, never stopping for a break. Almost all of them were aiming for me but I couldn't move, not now. I missed my chance. It was too hot now that all eyes were on me.

Before I could move, the tank blew open a window just behind me, sending shards of glass to rain down on top of me. I couldn't feel pain, only the blood trickling down my back, making my t-shirt cling to me. I noticed Tyreese was a few feet away alone, sweat trickling down his face as he frantically pulled his trigger. "Hey! You got this? I gotta find Beth" I shouted over to him, hoping he could hear over the not so distant explosions.

"Yeah, go. Get out of here" He called out in reply, not taking his eyes off the enemy.

I took a deep breath and sprinted away as fast as I could, not looking back.

I found Beth standing next to the bus alone so I sprinted over to her, almost knocking her over as I pulled her in close. "Are you okay?" Was the first thing I needed to know.

She nodded fast. "Yeah, I'm fine, I gotta go find Judith"

"I'll go, you stay here" I was about to carry on running but she grabbed me.

"I'll come with you" Her face was tear streaked and I wanted to hold her forever.

I touched her cheek gently, trying to wipe away the tears that had already happened. "It's too dangerous, you need to stay here and make sure everyone gets on the bus. I'll be back before you know it"

"What if you're not?" Tears threatened to fall as she looked at me like I was already gone.

"Then you need to go" I told her in a low voice.

"No" She whispered. So much noise was going on in the background but right now, all I could hear was her. Her small gasps, her panicked breathing, her rushed voice, she was all that mattered.

I took her face in my hands. "Beth, you have to. The only thing I care about is you bein' safe, okay? Please just... Please" My voice broke on the last word and I could feel my insides breaking. It felt like a goodbye and I wasn't okay with it.

Her eyes were wide in fear and her bottom lip trembled slightly but she still nodded, putting on a brave face. "Okay"

I brought our faces together, crashing my lips into hers. It was messy and desperate and it was everything I needed. I could do this forever but it needed to be stopped, I needed to go, so I pulled away. "I love you" I let the words go against her lips and I stared into the eyes I felt like I would never see again for some reason.

"I love you, more" She let it out in a gaspy breath and I closed my eyes hard, forcing myself to take a step back.

"Not possible" I opened my eyes and she stood there, looking at me helplessly. I felt like I was leaving her. "I'll find you, I promise" And I meant it.

I finally turned around and ran, not looking back in fear that I wouldn't have anymore willpower in me left.

When I turned the corner I saw Cas butchering a guy with her two meat cleavers. Blood splattered all up her arms as she brought the cleaver down on him over and over again. When I got closer to her it was clear to see this dude was already dead, she was doing this for fun. "Have you seen Judith?"

She stopped butchering and looked up at me, her icy blue eyes peeking through the small gaps of her dark fringe. "No" She replied simply before wiping the blood off of her cleavers and onto her shorts. She had a gun in her belt but she obviously prefered it close and personal.

"Fuck" I mumbled, pushing my hand through my hair. I had no idea what I was going to do now.

"I saw the old dude go inside, though" She shrugged.

"Hershel? He's inside?" She nodded and I felt a small relief. "Okay, thank you" And with that, I went back to running, heading for the cell block entrance.

My whole body hurt with fatigue as I ran. The noise had died down a considerable amount by now but that only made me more scared. A lot of people were probably dead. Some of those people could be people I care about, people I love. Family. I hated all of this, I wanted it to end.

Right outside the entrance, I spotted Judith's car seat and my stomach sank. Either she wasn't in it or she was, I wasn't sure which one I wanted. I made my way over slowly, not sure I'd be able to handle the outcome.

When I finally saw she wasn't in there, relief spread through me as well as dread. Upon observation, I noticed blood splattered all over the seat and I felt like everything around me suddenly crashed. I knew what I thought had happened but I refused to think about it. There's no way that could have happened, no one would have let it.

I almost dropped my gun when I was grabbed from behind, forgetting I was in the middle of a war. My arms thrashed, trying to hit whoever it was with my elbows. I dug my fingernails in the person's arms that were now wrapped around my throat, squeezing as tight as possible. The air left my lungs and I was suffocating. My chest was on fire and it felt like my face was going to explode from the pressure of this person's grip. All noise had disappeared and the black dots that I started to see were taking over my entire vision and I started to slip into unconsciousness. Before I knew it though, I was on my hands and knees sucking in air desperately, choking as tears ran down my face. I looked up to find Hershel standing by the entrance, a smoking rifle in hand. He rushed to me, he artificial leg clanking on the floor quietly. "Are you okay, son?"

I nodded frantically, too scared to speak because of the pain. He helped me to my feet and I looked behind me to find one of the Governor's goons lying on the floor, blood running from his head from where the bullet had entered.

"Have you seen Beth? Maggie?" He asked me, panic in his voice.

"I left Beth at the bus, I ain't seen Maggie" My voice croaked from the strain.

Hershel sighed, his face saddened. "Everyone else?"

I shrugged, feeling useless. "I don't know" I ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know" I told him quietly.

He put a hand on my shoulder and pushed gently. "C'mon"

As we walked, I noticed there was no more gunfire ringing in the air. The fighting had stopped completely and smoke-filledthe sky. Walkers swarmed the yard heading for the prison. No one alive was in sight.

As we turned the corner, we spotted Cas in the same place as before, only this time she was butchering three walkers at once. If I hadn't have known her, I would have thought she was a walker herself she was covered in that much blood. She finished off her play date with the walkers when she noticed us walking towards her.

"Cas, have you seen anyone?" I asked a little too desperately.

"Nope" She said carelessly as she spun her cleavers in her hands. "Saw a bus drive off though, dunno who was on it"

I heard Hershel sigh a shaky breath beside me. "What about Beth or Maggie? Were they on the bus?" He asked her patiently.

"I said no, old man" Cas told him. She was so fucking rude.

I bit my lip to stop myself from retaliating. "We have to go, walkers are comin' through the yard. C'mon, Cas"

"Fuck that, I'm staying. This is the most fun I've had in weeks" She said as she wiped the sweat off her brow, revealing her eyes for a split second. It was the first time they actually weren't burning holes through people.

"You can't stay here, you'll end up dyin'" I was perplexed by her behaviour but at the same time I'm not at all surprised.

"I can do what the fuck I want" She turned and went in the direction of the walkers. Before we started walking though, she threw her head over her shoulder. "Don't get killed out there, you're not actually that much of an asshole and I might actually kinda miss you" And then she disappeared behind the smoke.

"What the fuck?" I asked myself under my breath. I shook it off and Hershel and I walked without direction. "What are we gonna do?" I asked him.

"We have to find-" He stopped in his tracks, staring into the distant forest. "Is that..." He trailed off, his face unreadable as he squinted to see better.

I followed his eye line to find Daryl and Beth running through the woods without looking back. Beth wasn't on the bus and all of a sudden I was filled with anxiety. Anything could happen to her out there and there's nothing I could do about it because I wasn't with her. As much as I trusted Daryl, I trusted myself more.

"Beth" It came out small and reserved like I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "She's not on the bus"

"We have to catch up, they could be followin' somebody" Hershel replied before walking again with haste.

"We'll catch up, I promised her I'd find her"

His smile was small but still existent. "You'll fullfill that promise, I'll see to it"

And with that, we quickened our pace, both of us determined to find someone we love.


	32. Chapter 32

**Something a little different for ya :)**

* * *

My arms were stiff from the blood that caked on top of them but I pushed forward. Hitting anything that moved. It didn't matter if they were three feet away from me or on the other side of the fence, the fucker is going down. I wasn't sure how I got to this point, all I know is that I feel like this is what I have to do now and nothing is going to change that.

No one is left. Everyone is either dead or gone. I was happy to finally be alone. I was always supposed to be alone. Everyone else would either slow me down or get me killed.

These things killed everything I love and everything that I could have loved. And for that, I will get my revenge. I will kill every single one of these fuckers and then some.

So here I was, last one standing at the prison and killing more walkers than I could count. I might actually miss some of the people I met here, they were mostly good people. I don't regret staying behind but I wouldn't have minded the company. The last good people I'll see alive are probably the old farmer dude and Adam. They've been gone for a while now, though. It could be an hour, it could be eight, I had no idea at this point.

Walkers had finally began swarming in, walking through the smoke caused by the damage the Governor and his little fucked up posse did. I met them half way, swinging my cleavers in every direction. Walker guts spilled on the floor followed by the melodic thumping sound the walkers made when they hit the ground. They didn't even get the chance to realise I wasn't dead.

Another swarm met me before I could even wipe my brow and I fell back a little. Another swarm came from my right and I got nervous for the first time. Even I wouldn't be able to take all of them on. A quick look behind me told me the entrance to cell block C was a few feet away. I hesitated, I didn't want to back down. All these walkers were mine but I wouldn't survive it. Before I made a decision, someone barged through the door in full body armour.

"Cas?" The voice called out of shock, a little too high-pitched. Glenn made his way over to me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "We gotta go" And then he was off, barging through the walkers.

"You do know I'm not covered in god damn armour" I shouted over to him over the noise of the walkers.

He came back then and grabbed my arm more forcefully than I liked. We made our way through the hoard, slashing and stabbing anything we could. It's a wonder we didn't kill each other. He stayed close to me, protecting my back as I stabbed my way out through the front. The smell was almost unbearable, the heat making it worse. Sweat trickled down my face causing the blood to run along with it.

Walkers quickly trailed behind us when we made our way out. Glenn grabbed my arm again before I ran for the gate. "Stop grabbing me you fucker" I warned him.

"Look" He pointed behind me and I followed his eye line.

A girl was sat behind a small enclosure, she didn't even look up when Glenn killed a walker who was trying to get to her. Must have been one of the pricks who fucked up everything.

We both went in the small space and closed the gate behind us. Glenn was quick to grab the gun she held loosely in her hand, checking the ammo.

"It's full" He said, a questioning look on his face. She didn't react. Her face was impassive as she looked out into the distance. "Did you even fire a shot?" The girl shook her head no. "Alright, let's go" The girl didn't move, didn't show any sign of emotion, she just sat there.

"I was part of this" She said, her small voice somehow carrying over the noise of the walkers.

"I know, but I need your help. We're gonna run out of bullets" He replied. He offered her her gun back. "Take this"

"Are you serious?!" I finally piped up, angry flooding through my body. "We turn around and she shoots us in the back" I protested. She finally landed her sad puppy dog eyes on mine and it made me even angrier.

"There's too many out there, Cas. We need the extra gun. You can't just kill them all with your cleavers" He sighed out of exasperation as he made a homemade molotov. He set the rag aflame and opened the gate, tossing it on a nearby car. It attracted quite a few walkers, but not the nearby ones.

"You two need to stay ahead. I'll cover you but Cas, you're gonna have to start using your gun"

I rolled my eyes and took the rifle off my back. "Ready?" I asked the two of them, still unhappy about the girl having a gun. Glenn said 'yeah' and the girl only nodded still looking unsure.

"Let's go" Glenn said before bursting open the fence.

The girl hesitating a little so I stepped back slightly. "After you" I told her as I bore holes into her face. She visibly swallowed and sheepishly left the small enclosure with me right on her trail.

I watched her as she made her way through the walkers in front off me and I had to give it her, she wasn't bad. She popped a bullet into every walker head in her way. I didn't even kill one as I was too busy being to impressed by her. I shook my head a checked on Glenn behind me, but he needed no help. We made it out of the prison and headed into the forest, never looking back again.

The forest was pretty deserted. The were a few stragglers making their way to the prison, being drawn in by all the noise. We put them down and then emerged onto the road, breathing heavy and sweating hard.

"Did you see if any of my people got out?" Glenn finally broke the silence as he addressed the girl.

"All I saw was my sister in that field. She wasn't supposed to be there" Silenced came over us as Glenn processed the information. The girl began getting emotional. "She had a gun, but they just swarmed her" And then the anger fell on her face. "I did it for him. I trusted him. And then he tried to kill that old man" That's when Glenn stopped talking.

"Hershel?" He asked and suddenly I remembered where Glenn was during this whole situation. "Was his name Hershel?" He asked her again.

She stopped too, now, silently crying. "I'm so sorry. Brian told us you were bad people. I know it's not true. I can see it's not, so what we did, what I did, I mean..." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I'm a piece of shit. Why would you want my help?" She started walking away.

Glenn let her walk a few steps before stopping her. "I don't want it, I need it" He sighed before continuing. "I have to find Maggie"

Somehow, she looked even more guilty. "Who's Maggie?"

"She's my wife" Glenn started to sound more bitter with each word he spoke.

"You guys got separated?" She asked him.

"Didn't everyone?" I rolled my eyes, bored.

I was ignored like always. "I was on the bus and then I got off to help and she didn't see me"

"How do you know she made it?" She replied, taking a step further.

"I don't know. But Hershel, Maggie's father, told me all I had to do was believe. And that's what I'm gonna do" He tensed his jaw a little before carrying on. "The three of us shouldn't be a line right now. She got out, so you're gonna help us find her. Things aren't over" And then he passed us, walking onwards.

"I wanna believe that" The girl said louder than I had heard her yet. "I want to" She said more quietly.

Glenn and I stared at her before our head snapped round to where the walker noises came from. Around 10 walkers emerged from the trees, hungry and angry, trying to get to us as quick as possible. I pulled my cleavers out, excited for the fight as Glenn prepared.

I met the walkers first, slashing every part of flesh I possibly could. Another layer of blood coated my hands, causing them to sweat even more.

Glenn finally joined me, slow and heavy in that suit of armour. He began to get overpowered beside me and fell on his ass. He was quick to get up but not quick enough to finish off the walker, I already had it. The girl killed the last one and we all kind of looked at each other before Glenn dropped to the ground, gasping for air and clutching at his chest. I ran over to him with the girl right next to me, but he had already passed out by the time we were kneeling beside him. The girl tried shaking him a little but there was no use.

I looked up at the girl whose face was filled with worry and her dark eyes met my light ones. Her mouth fell a little as if she were going to say something but I spotted something over her shoulder. "Heads up" I nodded over her shoulder in warning.

She got to her feet and it grabbed her shoulders looking to take a chunk out of her neck but she managed to push it onto the ground. She stepped over it, one leg either size and brought the end of Glenn's rifle down onto its head. She brought it down over and over again and blood splattered onto her boots.

A large truck pulled up beside her without her noticing but I noticed. I was already stood next to her, gun aimed for the driver's seat, hoping the driver's head was where I wanted it to be.

She finally stopped hitting the corpse and threw the gun to the side, looking at the truck in some kind of awe, mixed with a lot of fear. Anger fluttered onto her face in a heartbeat and she stared the unseen strangers down. "How you enjoyed the show, assholes" She shouted over to them and even I couldn't wipe the smirk off my face before someone hopped out.

A tall, heavily muscled, heavily armoured ginger dude with a ginger handlebar moustache angrily walked over to us. Behind him, a chubby dude with a mullet and a pretty girl followed him. They stopped a few feet away.

"You got a damn mouth on you, you know that?" They stared at us dumbly and my trigger finger got tighter. "What else you got?"

"Nothing for you" I told him, my gun aiming between his eyes.

"Well ain't you two just peachy" He replied with no humour in his heavy southern accent. "How about you two just step into the truck, no harm done"

"Go fuck yourself" I spat at him.

He actually chuckled at that. "I ain't askin', little girl" He took a step forward intimidatingly.

The girl looked at me, a worried expression on her face. "They might be able to help Glenn" Her voice just above a whisper. She was right, they might be able to help Glenn. They might be able to cook Glenn alive and eat him, as well, though.

"Listen to you friend, here" Handlebar moustache warned, resting his gun on his shoulder.

I clenched my teeth hard to the point that it hurt. I didn't know what to do. On one hand, they could help Glenn and give us purpose again. On the other, they could murder us. I don't know what Glenn would want me to do.

And then there's still the girl. We have no idea who she is or what she's capable of, either. She may have got Glenn feeling sorry for her but I'll be watching her very closely.

"Why would you want us to get in your truck?" I asked him, genuinely curious.

"That's classified information" He simply replied.

"Oh really?" I scoffed. "Maybe you should stick your classified information up your asshole, asshole"

"Now listen here, you little-" He started angrily before the girl next to me cut him off.

"Enough" She blurted out. When she got all of our attention, she seemed a little embarrassed. "Just tell us what you want, then we'll come with you"

I turned my attention to her, rage in my eyes. "Will we?" I asked her through a clenched jaw.

"Yeah, we will. 'Cause it's a hell of a lot safer than being stuck on the side of the road" She replied, no bitterness about her.

I turned my attention back to the army dweebs. "Who even are you?"

Handlebars moustache pumped his chest out slightly before speaking. "I'm Sergeant Abraham Ford. And these are my companions Rosita Espinosa" He pointed to the pretty girl on his left "and Dr. Eugene Porter" and mullet dude. "We're on a mission to get Eugene to Washington, DC. Eugene's a scientist and he knows exactly what caused this mess"

I started chuckling when Handlebars finished. "You do know you sound ridiculous, right?"

His jaw played a little. "I know it's hard to believe, ma'am, but we're gonna save this whole god damn planet"

I had to give it to him, he was passionate.

"So what happened?" The girl whose name I still don't know asked.

"That's classified" Mullet answered this time with a strong Southern accent just like Handlebars'.

"He's been talkin' to the muckety-mucks in Washington on his satellite phone. The past couple of weeks, nobody's been pickin' up on the other end. We saw how you handled those corpses back there. We could use your help" Handlebars actually sounded sincere.

"Even if I wanted to help you nerds, Glenn wouldn't" I answered.

"Let him decide when he wakes up"

Somewhere during this weirdo's speech, I lowered my gun. I didn't raise it back up again when I realised. Either this dude is speaking absolute shit or the complete opposite. Glenn isn't going to be happy.

"Load him on" I nodded my head in the direction of Glenn who still lay on the floor. Handlebars nodded, a proud look on his face as he lifted Glenn onto his shoulder and placed him in the back of the truck. I grabbed Glenn's stupidly heavy and stupidly big backpack and lay it next to him. I jumped onto the back and lay my gun on my lap, leaning up the side.

The girl came and sat next to my feet, leaning up the other side. Her eyes drifted up to my face a few times and I knew she wanted to say something. The truck pulled off and I sighed an exasperated breath. "What? Why do you keep looking at me?" I didn't keep the annoyance out of my tone.

She looked like she got caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. "I just-" Her puppy eyes were back and I found myself biting the inside of my lip. "Thanks for not killing me, I guess"

I was shocked to say the least. I was silent for a few beats, unsure of how to reply. "Thank Glenn when he wakes up" I said, staring at the road disappearing behind us.

She nodded to herself quietly, staring at her hands. "I'm Tara" She extended out her hand. Except her hand wasn't open ready to shake, it was closed into a fist and ready to bump.

I stared down at it for a while, just thinking what the fuck? "Seriously?" I scoffed.

Puppy eyes again. Fuck, her eyes even sparkled this time. Her hand started to pulled back slowly until it was back in her lap. She shrugged, staring at her hands once more.

I sighed again, rubbing my forehead. This was going to be hard work. I held out my hand, same as she did, ready to bump her fist. "Cas"

Her eyes shot up to my eyes, down to my extended fist and back up to my eyes again. A small, proud smile spread across her face before we bumped fists. I didn't let myself smile, but she was the first person who almost made me in a very long time.

We rode in silence for a few hours. I was incredibly bored and I couldn't find anything to do to pass the time apart from watch Tara. Every road sign we past, every land mark, she would write down on the back of her hand or her palm. It was intriguing to watch her concentrate, or I was just incredibly bored.

Without looking up, she finally broke the silence. "It's rude to stare, you know" She addressed me, finishing off writing a road name in sharpie on her palm.

"I'm just bored, don't think into it" I told her, looking away. It was rude and unnecessary, I know. But now it was my turn to feel like I'd been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to.

She shrugged, still looking away towards the road. "Okay"

I sat up and grabbed Glenn's backpack, pulling it towards me. I unzipped it stuck my hand in, trying to find what my stomach asked for. When I pulled out a granola bar, I noticed Tara watching me with mild interest. I looked down at thegranola bar in my palm and looked back up at her. She had already gone back to watching the road. I threw the bar and it landed in her lap, pulling out another one for myself.

She turned it around in her hand a couple of times, a slight frown in her brow. "Don't tell me you're fussy" I rolled my eyes.

She looked up at me, squinting in the sun. "No, it's not that" She said, looking back down at the bar, running her finger over the ingredients list. She was taking so long to finish her sentence that I almost kicked her in the thigh to make her snap out of it. "I don't deserve this" She said it so quietly I almost missed it over the roar of the engine.

I opened mine and began chewing on it nonchalantly, shrugging. "Maybe, maybe not. I have no idea yet. All I know is that Glenn would probably kill me if I let you starve to death"

Tara sighed, I don't think she liked that but I don't really give a fuck right now. She finally opened the bar and began eating it silently, writing down a road sign she just saw.

Looking down at my hands I remembered that I was literally caked in walker blood. I must have looked disgusting right now. Digging through Glenn's backpack, I found a bottle of watch and a rag. After wetting it, I scrubbed at my arms with the rag, trying to get as much off as I possibly could. "Why do you have so much blood on you?" Tara asked as she watched me. I'm surprised she hadn't given up on trying to converse with me yet.

"Killed a lot of walkers" I told her, sounding like I was bored.

"Why didn't you just run like the rest of them?" Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"I like killing walkers"

Her mouth fell open a little, like she wasn't sure how to reply.

"Why didn't you run?" I asked her, for a reason unknown.

She was quiet for a short while, fumbling with her hands in her lap. "Because my sister..." She trailed off, emotion hitting her face. "I don't know where I would've went, I don't have anybody else"

I nodded in understandment. "No one has anybody anymore. That's what this world does" I told her honestly.

"Do you think he'll find his wife?" She asked me, looking down at an unconscious Glenn.

"Maggie? Yeah. Somehow they always end up together"

"Is she nice?" She asked me. It was a bit of a weird question, it was weirder that I didn't know what to tell her cause I didn't exactly try to spend time with her.

I shrugged my shoulders, looking for an easy way out. "If pretty farmer girls float your boat then yeah, she's nice"

Tara looked at me like I had just slapped her in the face. Her cheeks turned a dark red and she turned her attention to her hands again. I inwardly smiled, I love finding people's comfort zones.

That was when Glenn finally woke up. As soon as his head had lifted up, Tara was on him. "Don't move, here's some water" She unscrewed the cap and tried to give it him but he began to freak out a little.

"Where are we?" He asked sounding disoriented.

"I don't know. We were fighting biters and you passed out right after we left the prison" Glenn started to get to his feet as Tara fed him information. "We didn't know what to do. The back of the truck seemed safer than the side of the road. Hey" She tried to sit him down.

"Did we pass the bus?" He asked us.

Oh god.

"On the road, did we pass the bus?" He repeated desperately.

"Yeah" Tara replied, looking scared.

"What did you see?" He turn towards her, getting a little to close.

"They were all dead" He turned around to me but didn't get very close. "Like they died, and then someone killed them. Again. Or whatever"

He ran his hand through his hair. "How long since we passed it?"

"Three hours" Tara told him.

He looked around for a second before he started banging on the windows. "Hey, stop the truck!" He shouted loud enough for dork squad to hear. In return, handlebars flipped him off without even looking.

"Hey, numb nuts, stop the truck!" Tara shouted louder.

Glenn looked around again and grabbed his rifle, hitting the window hard with the butt. "Stop the truck!" He screamed into the window before bringing the butt of the rifle down again, creating a crack. They immediately stopped after that.

Glenn, Tara and I jumped off the truck. It felt good to finally be able to stretch my legs again. Glenn grabbed the backpack and began walking away before he had even laid eyes on handlebars.

"Where the hell are you goin'?" Handlebars asked. He jogged to catch up with him. "I don't know what your lady friends have told you about the special nature of the mission we're on, but this shit is time-sensitive and we're already behind schedule" He stood in front of Glenn, forcing him to stop. "So I need you to turn your ass around and get back in the truck"

"I gotta go" Glenn told him and tried to walk off but Abraham cut him off again.

"It seems like none of you's been paying close enough attention to the hell of earth we've been livin' in. So let me tell you hot to best avoid windin' up just another dead-alive prick. You find some strong, like-minded comrades and you stay stuck together like wet on water" The dude spoke as if we were soldiers. "We need people. The more the better. We need each other, partner. Even with all that gear on your shoulder, you won't last a night. Not just the three of you"

"I'll take my chances" Glenn told him, trying to go around him again.

Handlebars grabbed his chest hard and I had my gun out before I knew it. "I'm gonna have to insist that you hold the hell up. Believe it or not, the fate of the entire damn human race might depend on it"

Glenn forcefully pushed his hand away, giving him a cold look. "What the hell are you talking about?" He looked to me. "Who is this guy?"

"Sergeant Handlebars" I replied sarcastically, earning me a scowl from Abraham.

"I'm Sergeant Abraham Ford. And these are my companions Rosita Espinosa and Dr. Eugene Porter. We're on a mission to get Eugene to Washington-" And then I stopped listening. We heard this same shit three hours ago and I hated listening to it then.

If these people were legit, it was a no brainer that we had to help them. But it's so fucking ridiculous, there's no way it's legit. Mullet doesn't even look like a scientist, he looks like a creepy uncle.

I looked at Tara and watched how she intently listened to Handlebars speak for the second time and wondered if she believed it. Probably, she was a little too optimistic for my taste.

"...We could use your help" Handlebars finished, looking proud of his speech.

"...Sorry" Glenn replied before walking away again. Tara and I caught up and the dork squad weren't far behind.

"We had to get you off that road. You were passed out and we hardly had any bullets" Tara explained as we walked. "I know how to get back to that bus. I wrote down every turn. I will get you back if I can, okay?"

"That's where she'd go to find me. That's where I'm gonna go"

"It's a waste of time" Handlebars called out, still following. "There is zero chance that you will ever find your wife again. Alive or dead. Mainly because, sorry to tell you, she's gone. No need for you to die too" Glenn had stopped now. "Now come one, get back in the truck. Do something with your life" Glenn dropped his back as he listened to Abraham talking shit. "When the people we love kick, well, they disappear. Doesn't mean you've got to go out that way, too"

Glenn turned around with a face of storm and sucker punched Abraham, knocking him to the floor. Honestly, I was impressed. Glenn must have been stronger than I thought for him to knock a guy as big as Handlebars on his ass. "She's alive and I'm gonna find her" Glenn said, picking up his back and walking away again.

"You son of a bitch!" Handlebars shouted as he tackled Glenn to the ground. Tara and I were on them in seconds, along with Miss Sergeant, trying to drag Handlebars off of him. Mullet still stood by himself near the truck. Tara grabbed his arm and he pushed her to the ground. I tried grabbing him around the throat but the guy was too big for me to take on, he knocked me to my ass in seconds. Tara grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I got my gun out but Tara shook her head. Glenn finally got to his feet but Abraham knocked him down again with a heavy punch in the back. That's when gunfire rang out from down the road. We all turned around to find a swarm of walkers around Mullet and the truck. Mullet must have got a hold of someone's gun and has no idea how to shoot it because he missed almost every time. Abraham crawled off Glenn and sprinted towards Mullet, Miss Sergeant not far behind. "Eugene! Stop firin', damn it! We need to get our weapons"

Mullet carried on firing anyway and Handlebars grabbed a pistol, shooting every single on it the head. I didn't want to miss out either so I thought I'd chime in. Bullets rang out loud and bodies hit the floor. It didn't take long to finish them off, Handlebars seemed just as blood thirsty as me.

Handlebars grabbed the gun from Mullet in a harsh manner and turned around, noticing something on the truck. "Son of a dick" He complained.

Gas leak. Mullet, the dumbass, shot a whole in the tank.

Handlebars was quick to get on his back to try to fix it and we all gathered around.

"We were runnin' a convoy in one of these. Comin' up a dune, there's this camel, looks like its about to puke" I literally had no idea what language he was speaking. "Probably because the shitbird's packed about four pounds of C-4 up it's ass. We were within 20 feet of that blast that sent that animal's hump half a klick into the desert. And we drove home" Seriously, what the fuck? "So you tell me, how in the holy hell did you possibly kill this truck?" He sat up now, looking at Mullet.

"A fully amped-up state and an ignorance of rapid-firin' weapons" Mullet answered.

I think we were all blocking the pair out by now. Rosita picked something up off the floor and turned to Glenn. "Is this your's?"

She handed him a Polaroid picture of Maggie, which he pocketed without an answer. "Sorry about your ride" He turned to Handlebars, not sounding sorry at all. "Hope you guys make it to Washington" And then he was walking away. Again. I followed, not caring whether I stay or go, Tara behind me.

Then I noticed Rosita following. "What the hell else are we gonna do?" She sighed. It was the first time I had heard her speak.

"Go to Washington" Handlebars called after her. "Fix the whole damn world!"

And then Mullet was following, and eventually Handlebars, too.

We all walked separately, no one particularly happy with this little hike. It was too hot. And company could have been better.


	33. Chapter 33

The heat that clung to the summer air was beginning to get unbearable. My jacket was tied around my waist and I could feel the sweat trickle down my back underneath my vest top. Frustrated with the heat, the company proved to be making the matters worse. I walked by myself, trailing a few feet behind Mullet as he spoke incoherent bullshit to Tara, who didn't even seem to be listening as she strode along next to him.

"I'm well aware it sounds bananas. But looking at the fossil record, knowing what I know about this infection, you cannot say for certain it isn't what killed off the dinosaurs. Now, do I believe that's what happened? No. But it's enjoyable as hell to think about an undead Ankylosaurus going after a Diplodocus. That there is a video game worth a preorder" His nerdy shit was making me want to hit him. Tara stopped and picked something off the ground, still not listening to Mullet. She brought it closer to her face to examine it. "Oh hell yeah, score" Mullet carried on his blabbering and I caught up to them. "A few more of those, a little aluminum foil and some bleach, you got yourself some volts, sister" Tara looked at him and I stopped behind them, rolling my eyes and adjusting my backpack. "A homemade battery" He explained.

"Here" Tara handed him the penny without a care.

"For reals? You don't want it?"

"For reals"

"Much obliged" And then they carried on walking ahead. Unfortunately, I was now close enough to hear every wheezy breaththis hillbilly took. "Speaking of video games, what kind of gamer were you? RPG, shmup, sim racing?"

"Oh my god, Mullet, do you ever shut the fuck up?!" My little outburst shook him somewhat and his steps faltered but he recovered quickly. "Seriously, I will feed you to the walkers if you don't cut it out"

"You will do no such thing" Handlebars called out from not far behind.

"Yeah? Let's see if Mullet wants to find out"

He turned his head to the side and his eyes met mine. He immediately dropped his eyes to the floor and the newfound silence was like music to my ears.

I noticed Tara's pace had slowed and then she was walking beside me in seconds.

"Cas?" Her voice was quiet and hesitant.

"What?" I didn't hold back my icy tone.

"Are you okay?" She looked at me through squinted eyes, the sunshine making them look like a lighter shade of brown.

"I'm awesome" I told her sarcastically.

A small sigh escaped her lips. "There's no point in winding them up, you know"

"I don't know them" I shot her a side glance. "I don't know you, either"

She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. I knew I'd offended her, hurt her even, but I couldn't care less. She was an enemy not too long ago, after all. I had no energy to feel bad and hold people's hands.

After walking until our feet hurt, we finally set up camp on the tracks when it started to get dark. The lady sergeant and Mullet were the first ones to go to sleep just at the side of the tracks, followed by Glenn who didn't look the most comfortable with his head resting on the rusted metal. I was hoping to sleep, too, but it wasn't coming as lightly for me. I lay just off the tracks but not anywhere near Mullet. Even asleep, his mouth wouldn't shut up. I felt like smothering him.

And then Handlebars and Tara started to chat each other up a few feet away from where I was trying to find peace by myself.

"Go to sleep" Tara told him, not as quietly as she should have. "I got this"

"No offense, but I'm not leaving Eugene's life in your hands" Handlebars replied. And she thought I was harsh.

"You came with us because you wanted help"

"You're support, not point. We'll move north with you till I find the right vehicle just off the tracks"

I sighed loudly, hoping they would hear over the shit they're talking. They didn't.

"You should get some sleep" Abraham carried on to my annoyance. "I haven't seen you do it yet" I was about to sit up before his next sentence intrigued me. "I thought it was because you were in love with him. A girl in love with a guy she's trying to help get to his girl" I was mad at myself for still listening, I hated idle gossip. But something kept me from yelling at them to shut the fuck up. "If that were the case, closing your eyes would be just too damn tragic"

"If that were the case" Tara replied, quieter than before.

"I saw the way you were looking down Rosita's shirt while she was serving you dinner" He chuckled. "Hey, the things are damn near hypnotic. Eugene spends half the day staring at her ass. I'm not mad, it just means my theory's shot"

"I'm awfully sorry about that" She almost sounded sincere. She needed to grow a pair.

"Well I'm right, and I'm wrong" He laughed. "Something you did or something you didn't do?" He asked her.

It took a moment for her to answer him. "Something I did" Abraham didn't reply. "You were in the army. I get the whole gung-ho, mission is your life bullshit" The conversation was boring me now. "So we both got our reasons. Both got our missions. What do you do when the mission's over?"

I finally sat up. "Oh my god will you to shut the fuck up? Some of us actually want to sleep"

Tara looked shocked as well as guilty but Abraham smiled and that pissed me off even more. I lay myself back down, frowning into the jacket I used as a pillow. He chuckled lightly. "She's a damn firecracker"

I still couldn't sleep even after those pair had stopped talking. I'm pissed because I can feel the exhaustion rippling through my entire body but my brain wouldn't let me relieve it. I had hardly slept since the shit show at the prison so I would kill a person for a couple of hours of sleep right now.

I sat up in defeat and I could feel Tara and Abraham's eyes on the back of my head. Feeling a light breeze I shrugged my jacket on and stood up. Neither of them said anything when I sat beside Tara, but it didn't take long for Abraham to pipe up.

"You stick out like a sore thumb on Christmas" He stated, dumbly. "Are you in love with him, or is that theory completely out of the question?"

"Don't be stupid" I rolled my eyes.

He smirked. "Nah, you don't seem like the lovey-dovey type. What's your purpose?"

"You're super intrusive" I pushed my hair away from my face a little.

"Wow, she has eyes" I looked to my right and both Abraham and Tara were gawking at me like I was another person. "And she rolls said eyes"

"You're also super observant" Tara quietly laughed beside me.

"Hey, wake up" Someone shook my body lightly and woke me from a heavy slumber.

"No" I buried my face deeper into my makeshift pillow. But it didn't feel like my makeshift pillow. And then I remembered I hadn't even lay back down last night. At that realisation, my eyes shot open and I looked up to find Tara watching me carefully as I rested on her shoulder. I quickly scrambled a safe distance away from her, mumbling "What the fuck?" on the way.

"We- Abraham started telling us one of his weird stories and we fell asleep" She looked almost ashamed. I didn't bother saying anything back to her. I got up and readied myself for a long walk.

Abraham yells to Glenn, who is once again power walking ahead of all of us, that we're stopping to rest once we reach a tower on the tracks. "Tired is slow, slow is dead" He informed him as we all set our packs down.

"It's barely noon" Glenn told him after looking up at the sun's position.

"I don't give a monkey's left nut. None of us has slept more than a couple hours straight since we went all Casey Jones. This place looks safe. We need to rest" Glenn still didn't look convinced. "I get it, you have to find her. Well, Rosita and me, we got a mission, too. It's keeping that man alive, getting him to Washington, and saving the whole damn world. So we're going in that tower and we're going now" And then, as if on cue, a walker fell from the tower near Eugene. Abraham, being the overprotective asshole he is, pushed Eugene out-of-the-way, causing Eugene to bump Tara behind him to the ground. The walker ended up splattering on the ground anyway.

Tara grunted in pain of the floor as she held her leg. "Are you okay?" Rostia asked her.

"I'm fine" She replied, her face twisted in pain.

Glenn finally dropped his pack and helped her to her feet. She couldn't stand properly, that much was obvious.

"You wanna stop or you wanna keep going?" He asked her as he held her up.

"No, keep going, I'm good" She reassured him. She wasn't good though, we could all see it.

"Look, if she can keep going, we can all keep going. Or, you guys can stay here. You don't need us, we don't need you. It's okay"

"Wow, you're an ass" Rosita piped up. "She will do whatever you say because she thinks she owes you" Tara looked guilty. "Man up. Stay here for a few hours"

Glenn sighed and then turned to Abraham. "You just care about keeping Eugene safe, right? It's the only reason you want to stop? We go until sundown, I give Eugene my riot gear right here, right now. Everybody wins"

"Except her" Rosita spat.

"You're not her momma" Abraham threw back at her after hearing something he clearly liked. "If she says she can walk, she can walk. You got yourself a deal" And then Glenn started taking the gear off.

My calves were killing like crazy. I wanted to sit down for a year. God knows how Tara felt right now. I looked up to see her limping behind me, working double time to keep up with our pace. I sped up a little so I strode next to Glenn.

"Are you really prepared for this?" I asked him.

"Prepared for what?" He looked at me with confusion.

"To start throwing people under the bus to get what you want"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he ran up ahead after spotting something. On the wall of the tunnel we were coming up to, in big red letters read:

GLENN

GO TO TERMINUS

MAGGIE, BOB, SASHA

"Still wet" He told us.

"We sure as Shinola can't go up and over" Abraham chimed.

The sound of walkers groaning echoed from inside. It was too dark to see, but it sounded like a lot.

"How about around?" Abraham asked.

"No, that'll take a day, maybe more. If Maggie went through, I'm going through. We're close"

"Shut up a second" Abraham took a step closer to Glenn. "You hear that? That there is a long, dark tunnel full of reanimated corpses. I don't have full-on certainty that I can get Eugene through there alive. My recommendation would be take the day, make the detour and play it safe, but I know you're not gonna do that. So this is where we gotta part ways. I'm sorry. You're on your own" Abraham gave Glenn his pack.

"No you're not" Tara took a step forward.

"This'll definitely be an experience" I joined them.

Abraham gave Glenn his flashlight and Glenn thanked him.

"Sorry I hit you in the face" Glenn smirked.

"I'm not" Abraham shrugged. "I like to fight"

"Damn, I should've hit you in the face, too" I dead-panned.

"Good luck" Rostia hugged us all. I hadn't hugged anyone in a long time and I didn't exactly want to right now but I let her get it out her system.

"You're good people" Eugene started. "And I have to say, you are seriously hot, Tara"

Tara looked away uncomfortably. "Yeah, I like girls"

"I'm well aware of that" How someone manages to be amusing and creepy at the same time, I don't know.

"Say you get in trouble in there. We're doubling back to find the first road we crossed. Maybe you find us before we find the right ride"

Glenn nodded and thanked them and then they were walking away and we were headed inside the tunnel.

"Hey" Glenn turned his attention after turning on the flashlight. "I know what you're going through" Tara's face was made of stone. "After this all started, after I realised I'd never see my family, my friends again, I was numb. All day long, just numb. I'm just saying I get it" Glenn's voice was softer than it had been in a long time.

"Who doesn't get it? We've all lost something" I breathed a heavy sigh.

"When Brian told us he wanted to take over the prison, I know it sounded bad. When I found my girlfriend, she was dead. My niece. My sister, she was surrounded, pounced on. I saw it happen. But still, it wasn't as bad as seeing what he did to Maggie's father" And they stopped walking so I took this opportunity to do up my shoelace. "Because that's when I knew. That second the sword-" She took a deep breath. "I wanted to scream "no," but it just happened. Brian said we might have to kill people. I was the first to jump in. I was just hanging on the "might.""

We were finally walking again, towards the echoed groans and the stench of rotten flesh. Gravel littered the floor from where I could see, Abraham's flashlight guiding us. We would've been entirely blind without it so I do have something to thank him for.

I strained my eyes to see but in the distance, I could see something blocking our path.

Sure enough, a barricade of debris blocked our path. Walkers were stuck in it from the waist down, straining to get to us. "The blood is still wet" Tara observed. "This had to have happened today"

Glenn shined the flashlight up to where the huge hole was from where the ceiling fell down. He then started to go forward, stabbing walkers in the head so they didn't grab our feet. "Do you think they were dead before or after?" I asked dumbly as I dug my cleaver into a skull.

"Before. Some look old" Glenn answered.

He checked the face of each female walker, still looking for Maggie.

Once the barricade was clear, we hauled ourselves to the top of it and watched as a couple dozen walkers moaned angrily at the sight of us, shuffling over. I liked a good fight, but this was impossible.

"She's not one of them" Glenn told us as he shined his light over every rotten face before us. "There's no bodies on the ground, that means Maggie made it through. We have to get rid of them"

"We don't have enough ammo" Tara sounded sceptical. "We have to find another way" She demanded.

"This is gonna be a fucking suicide mission, isn't it?" I scoffed.

Glenn shook his head, his eyes shining. "It doesn't have to be"

Tara sighed. "Please tell me you have a plan"

Glenn gave us a determined look. "I have a plan"

And it wasn't a bad plan.

The three of us hopped off of the good side of the barricade and Glenn set down the flashlight on one corner of the barricade so the walkers could still see it on the other side. We then climbed the other corner of the barricade. The walkers were still going for the flashlight, we had time, but not much if one of us made any sort of noise. Slowly and quietly, Glenn and I made our way down the barricade, not taking our eyes off the walkers. Once it got to Tara's turn, though, her foot slipped, causing some of the rubble to collapse on her foot. Glenn hurried to her aid and my head whipped around to the walkers, hoping the noise didn't attract them. It didn't, thankfully, so I joined the other two. They couldn't get the rocks to budge, Tara was still trapped. I pushed Glenn out-of-the-way a little so I could help. The three off us pulled and pulled at the rocks, sweat dripping down our faces, but it was no use. We couldn't move them. And even if we could have, Tara wouldn't be in any state to get out of here alive. I gave up and so did Tara it seemed, but Glenn was still trying his hardest. Looks like he wasn't prepared to throw her under the bus anymore.

Tara was breathing hard when she looked at us. "Go" She whispered. "Go find Maggie" She nodded as if to say 'it's okay'.

He looked back for a moment, seeming like he was considering it, but he turned around and went back to pulling at the rocks.

Tara actually smiled. "You can't save me" Tears escaped her eyes but she wasn't crying. "Even if you got this off me, I can't run. And if you help me, they're gonna get all of us"

"There's gotta be another way" Glenn was angry, at himself and the situation.

"They're coming, we gotta go" I warned him, a few stragglers took notice of us.

"I'm not leaving her!" He yelled at me, still looking at Tara. "I'm not leaving you!"

"Get out of here!" Tara yelled back.

"Glenn!" I stabbed the nearest one in the head. "Leave her!" They were all taking notice now.

"No" He said quietly, despite the hoard on our asses. He took out his gun and started popping them off and I joined him.

This was it. This is how I was gonna go. Stuck in a tunnel with a couple of idiots and a couple of dozen hungry fuckers.

Glenn ran out of bullets and I had only a few left. "Fuck" I screamed over and over, trying to not let the panic blind me. Once I was out of bullets, I threw my gun at the nearest fucker and it only made him angrier. Scrambling to get my cleaver out of the holster, it grabbed me and pinned me up against the rocks. Blinding pain told me it was a sharp one. I could feel the blood drip down my back as I tried to fight off the snapping teeth an inch from my nose. That's when I noticed the headlights.

"Get down!" A voice shouted and then gunshots rang out like a Christmas jingle. Bodies thumped to the floor in a matter of seconds, along with the one trying to eat my face.

Maggie came running over and barreled into Glenn, sobbing and kissing. Behind her, Sasha and Bob were standing in a cloud of smoke along with Handlebars and his posse. I ever thought I'd be so happy to see them again.

Abraham ended up getting Tara loose. They all decided to make camp here so I got my cleavers in hand and began venturing off down the tunnel. "Where are you going?" Rosita called down.

"Spring cleaning" I called back without looking.

"Wait up"

I sighed, annoyed. I was hoping for alone time. Rosita finally joined me, accompanied by Tara, and the three of us went together.

"You're bleeding" Tara pointed out.

"It's ketchup" I told her, shining the flashlight ahead of us.

I could practically hear her rolling her eyes, I didn't need to look at her. "You need to get that looked at"

"I'm fine" Why do people keep prying?

Tara only huffed in response.

When we could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, Rosita set up a wire with tin cans on it, a makeshift alarm. We then headed back, deeming it's safe enough to spend the night.

All of the corpses were put to one side when we got back and a fire had been set up near the barricade.

"How'd it go?" Glenn asked us once we approached him and Maggie.

"We're all dead, there were a lot of walkers up there" I dead-panned.

Rosita rolled her eyes. "End of the tunnel's secure" She corrected. "If anything tries to come in, we'll hear in plenty of time"

Glenn nodded, showing he's content, but Maggie's eyes were on me. "Glad to see you're still kickin' it, Cas" She pulled me into a quick hug.

"You can't get rid of me that easy, I guess" I said, cause her smile to grow wider.

"We didn't get to officially meet" She turned her attention to Tara, who looked like she was trying to hide behind me. It didn't work, considering I'm at least an inch smaller than her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Tara, this is Maggie. Maggie, Tara" Glenn introduced them and they shook hands. Tara still looked scared.

"He's a big fan of your's" Tara told Maggie nervously, making the latter smile.

"I met Tara on the road" Glenn lied to his wife. "Couldn't have made it here without her"

Tara's smile was small. And then Maggie scooped her up into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you" Maggie said quietly. Tara's face was a whole bunch of emotions at the same time.

"When she heard what I was doing, she said she had to help me" Glenn's smile was big. "She's just that kind of person"

Okay, now it was a little awkward. I rolled my eyes and joined everyone else at the fire, the others on my heels.

Sasha noticed our presence and stood up, a wary look on her face. "What's up?" Glenn asked her.

She pointed to Abraham. "He just said" and then pointed to Eugene "that he knows what caused the outbreak"

Glenn was obviously not impressed. "Yeah. He does. Let me guess, he asked you to go to DC with him?"

"I'm downright tickled y'all found each other. Should spend the rest of the night celebrating" Abraham started. "Because tomorrow, there's absolutely no reason why the eight of us don't stuff ourselves in that van and head up to Washington"

"He's right" Tara looked at Glenn, and then me. "I'm gonna go"

"No, he's wrong" Eugene spoke up. "We're 55% of the way from Houston to Washington. Up until now, we've had an armored military vehicle for transport and we lost eight people"

"That wasn't our fault" "They're gone!" Both Rosita and Abraham cut in at the same time.

"I can't imagine we'd have better luck with that grocery grabber we picked up. We're a day's walk from Terminus. Who knows what they've got there?"

"Look, it couldn't hurt to check" Rosita agreed. "Load up on supplies, maybe even recruit some of them to come with" Abraham looked like he was considering it.

"I'll go with you guys, but after" Sasha told them. "I have to see Terminus. My brother could be there. I gotta know"

"Me too, on both counts" Bob mirrored.

I sighed. "I guess I'll join, I don't exactly have anything better planned"

"He tells me I'm wrong," Abraham stood up "I listen. Tomorrow, we go to the end of the line. Then Washington" He nodded, looking around at us with a stupid proud look on his face.

Everyone lay down for rest. Couples coupled off together. Abraham and Rosita were in heavy sleep, cuddled up near the fire. Sasha and Bob were close, no cuddles, but close. Maggie and Glenn were a few feet further away from us, not letting go of each other for a second. That left Eugene, Tara and I. Eugene was snoring, close to Abraham and Rosita. Tara was sleeping next to me, laying on her side, facing the fire. I sat up, holding my knees, staring into the flames, thinking about how close of a call today was. If they had waited a few more seconds, the three of us would have been walker food. I rubbed my face, tired but not for sleep.

"You should be sleeping" Tara's sleepy voice whispered.

I looked down and her face was no long facing the fire. She was laying on her back, staring up at me. I shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not"

She sat up and sighed. "You didn't get anyone to check you back, did you?" She almost sounded bored.

"Nope" I told her, popping the 'p', my eyes not leaving the fire.

She huffed and grabbed her pack and I left her to it. But when she shuffled closer to me when she put her pack to the side, I shuffled away from her. "What the fuck are you doing?!" My voice was a loud whisper, cold and accusing.

"Cleaning it" There was not question to it. "Someone has to" She rolled her eyes.

"To hell you are, I'm not letting you touch me" My hand inched towards the gun near my feet out of habit.

She took notice of the movement and didn't hide the hurt in her eyes quick enough. "Look, it's gonna get infected and then you're probably gonna die and you won't be any use to any of us" Her eyes got softer and she looked over to where Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene were sleeping. "Besides, we gotta save the world"

My mouth was set in a hard line and I rested my chin on my arms wrapped around my legs. Tara took that as an invitation and she sat behind me. Her breath was warm on my neck but her hands were warmer as she lifted my vest top up above my hips, tugging slightly as it was stuck to the blood. Her breath shook a little but she didn't say anything as she cleaned around the wound with a wet rag. "This is gonna hurt" She warned me in a whisper, quieter than before. She poured alcohol on the wound and she was right. The sting was almost unbearable but I didn't dare let myself react. Showing pain was showing weakness and that wasn't happening. "Sit up" She commanded and I did as I was told. She wrapped a bandage around my stomach and back. I could feel how close she was as she did it and I was immediately uncomfortable. Talk about too close for comfort. "There, done" She pulled my top back down and scooted back next to me. "Wasn't too bad, was it?" She smiled at me, hoping for something she wouldn't get. It fell when she realised this.

"Thanks" I whispered back to her without looking at her.

She nodded. "Now could you please, get some sleep?" She sounded sincere, with those damn puppy dog eyes. I stared down at the flames and shrugged, my face passive. I saw her shake her head in the corner of my eye and she got up. I flinched when she wrapped her blanket around my shoulders but didn't protest. She lay back down exactly like she had before, staring at the flames. "Goodnight, Cas" She whispered so quietly I almost didn't catch it over the crackling of the flames.

Once her breathing evened out, I gave in. I grabbed my jacket and wrapped it up until it would make an okay pillow and lay down not far from Tara. I sighed into my jacket and sleep came onto me so fast, it would have scared me if I were awake.

It was weird, doing so much walking with such a big amount people. Crowded, almost. But surprisingly, it wasn't unwelcome.

The walk to Terminus was a quiet one, thankfully. But I couldn't stop Abraham's prying.

"I think I figured it out" He told me as he strode next to me.

"Figured what out?" I threw him an irritated side look.

"Why you're here" I rolled my eyes.

"Let's hear it, Handlebars"

He had a proud smiled plastered on his face as he explained. "You're a bit of an asshole, a lone wolf. In a normal world, you wouldn't be seen anywhere near these people"

"Get to the point"

"You're looking for a hero's death" He chuckled. "Or maybe just a death"

I shook my head, more amused than annoyed. "If you carry on running your mouth, I'll help you find death"

He chuckled again, his eyes were darker now, though. "I've seen enough death to know that I ain't gonna find it with you" And then he fell back to Rosita again.

The tracks got wider and the forest thinned out. We were so close, I could feel it. I knew everyone else could, too. Not a word has been spoke for a long time. We were all anxious to be there already.

But our wish finally came true.

A large fence was before us and we all stood there dumbly, apprehensive of what is to become. After looking around at each other, we finally made our way into Terminus.


End file.
